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The Manipulated Man

TheNomadicCircleTheNomadicCircle Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
edited September 2010 in Debate and/or Discourse
I was given this book as a joke by one of my friends on my wedding day two years ago. Since then it has been on my bookshelf unread. I pulled it out today since I ran out of reading material and wanted something to read while going to work. Now, I haven't read this completely but man, this book is something else.

It is written by Esther Vilar and published in 1971 and some of the views are out there. But suprisingly some of the views I found were right as well. An example:
If a young man gets married, starts a family, and spends the rest of his life working at a soul-destroying job, he is held up as an example of virtue and responsibility. The other type of man, living only for himself, working only for himself, doing first one thing and then another simply because he enjoys it and because he has to keep only himself, sleeping where and when he wants, and facing woman when he meets her, on equal terms and not as one of a million slaves, is rejected by society. The free, unshackled man has no place in its midst.

This really does speak true to me because as in another thread, a bachelor is seen as someone with a problem but those who are married are seen as good with few "drawbacks". Another post agree on my lines of thinking that this isn't the case and that there are married people with larger "drawbacks" than bachelor ones.

Another quote:
Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's v*****.

As a married person, I can see this becoming true, though I haven't had this experience. You do something bad, thus no sex, but if you do something good then you get it.
If praise is applied in the correct dosage a woman will never need to scold. Any man who is accustomed to a regular and conditional dosage of praise will interpret its absence as displeasure.

This is something I do not know about or feel comfortable with. If the man feels he has done a good job, he should be proud in knowing so and not be bothered on what the SO thinks.

Now, I haven't finished the book nor have I agreed with everything she says in the book. Some parts make sense some do not. What is your opinion if you have read it or on her quotes?

TheNomadicCircle on
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Posts

  • wwtMaskwwtMask Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Never read it, but if those quotes are representative of the whole, the book is full of shit.

    wwtMask on
    When he dies, I hope they write "Worst Affirmative Action Hire, EVER" on his grave. His corpse should be trolled.
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  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    That is utterly, utterly horrible.

    cloudeagle on
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  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    wwtMask wrote: »
    Never read it, but if those quotes are representative of the whole, the book is full of shit.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • DrakeDrake Edgelord Trash Below the ecliptic plane.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    None of that holds true for my marriage. At all.

    Drake on
  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    published in 1971
    There's no reason to go further really. The suggestions in the book are as outdated as the book itself.

    Also, you can use the word vagina here.

    matt has a problem on
    nibXTE7.png
  • JuliusJulius Captain of Serenity on my shipRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's v*****.

    As a married person, I can see this becoming true, though I haven't had this experience. You do something bad, thus no sex, but if you do something good then you get it.

    man wat?


    that's some pretty out there shit man.

    Julius on
  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    As I said, it was a joke present given to me by a friend. I don't seriously hold any of its views, but man it is freaky.
    It's not "freaky", just outdated morality and social roles. Watch an episode of Leave it to Beaver. Or heck, the Honeymooners, which advocated regular spousal abuse as a joke.

    matt has a problem on
    nibXTE7.png
  • MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    As I said, it was a joke present given to me by a friend. I don't seriously hold any of its views, but man it is freaky.

    Freaky because it's so far off from reality?

    Marathon on
  • DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    some of the views are out there. But suprisingly some of the views I found were right as well.
    As I said, it was a joke present given to me by a friend. I don't seriously hold any of its views, but man it is freaky.

    Backpedal faster, and maybe you'll get away unscathed!

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • mrdobalinamrdobalina Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I guess....perspective? You can easily turn the words around and claim that it's valid that way as well for some segment of the population.

    I regularly allow my wife to use my dick if she makes me happy.

    mrdobalina on
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Julius wrote: »
    Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's v*****.

    As a married person, I can see this becoming true, though I haven't had this experience. You do something bad, thus no sex, but if you do something good then you get it.

    man wat?


    that's some pretty out there shit man.

    You're wife never got pissed at you and refused sex before?

    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Sounds like a book about bad marriages. *shrug*

    Torso Boy on
  • DrakeDrake Edgelord Trash Below the ecliptic plane.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Also, you can use the word vagina here.

    As well as Hoo Ha, Va Jay-Jay, Poontang, and Hot Pocket.

    Drake on
  • MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    In the 5 years I've been married I don't think my wife has ever withheld sex to punish me. We've not had sex because one of us was frustrated with the other, but the no sex came from just not being in the mood for sex. Not because either of us use sex as a tool for punishment or reward.

    Marathon on
  • mrt144mrt144 King of the Numbernames Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    As I said, it was a joke present given to me by a friend. I don't seriously hold any of its views, but man it is freaky.
    It's not "freaky", just outdated morality and social roles. Watch an episode of Leave it to Beaver. Or heck, the Honeymooners, which advocated regular spousal abuse as a joke.

    OH MY GOD, HE'S GOING TO ACCELERATE THE APOLLO PROGRAM TO SEND HIS WIFE TO THE MOON!

    mrt144 on
  • adytumadytum The Inevitable Rise And FallRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Here's another retarded book from 1971 about a man who doesn't take anyone else into account and lives his life as randomly as possible

    Diceman.jpg

    Maybe 1971 was just a year for stupid books with "man" in the title?

    adytum on
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I just checked out the author's Wikipedia page and they pretty much have a write up of most of the book there.

    It's certainly...interesting. But I wouldn't say it's right unless we're talking about the portion of the female population that is 100% manipulative. They're out there, just like there are men out there that are horrible people, as well.

    But this book is not representative of the vast majority of women.

    ChillyWilly on
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  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Backpedal faster, and maybe you'll get away unscathed!

    No, I agree on the bachelor quote, but none of the marriage ones.
    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    No, it was sort of like "I was turned on, you pissed me off, I don't wanna sleep next to you. So no sex we had planned" sort of thing. Happened two times to me. Guess its the woman in this case.

    Um... that isn't refused sex... that's you pissing someone off to the point where they don't want to have sex with you. Refused sex would be "gee honey, I would sleep with you but you didn't finish cleaning the garage." I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I was mad at either. Well... okay, I mean I probably would, but I think most people wouldn't.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • nstfnstf __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2010
    Sentry wrote: »
    Julius wrote: »
    Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's v*****.

    As a married person, I can see this becoming true, though I haven't had this experience. You do something bad, thus no sex, but if you do something good then you get it.

    man wat?


    that's some pretty out there shit man.

    You're wife never got pissed at you and refused sex before?

    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    I dunno, I've dated women that threw down the gauntlet of "we'll we aren't having sex until you blah blah blah" Or if they lose in an argument will throw out "I'm not in the mood" and they won't be in the mood unless you find a way to lose the argument to them and apologize in which case they are in the mood.

    It's easy to fix though. Kick them out of your place, or leave theirs, go out and find another woman and forget about the first one. They'll figure it out when you don't call for two weeks.

    nstf on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Also it turns out women enjoy/crave sex too. Whoda thunk?

    cloudeagle on
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  • JuliusJulius Captain of Serenity on my shipRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    No, it was sort of like "I was turned on, you pissed me off, I don't wanna sleep next to you. So no sex we had planned" sort of thing. Happened two times to me. Guess its the woman in this case.

    Yeah dude but that's not what the quote says. It talks about it as some kind of tool. Like she uses her vagina to control your behaviour.

    Julius on
  • nstfnstf __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2010
    Julius wrote: »
    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    No, it was sort of like "I was turned on, you pissed me off, I don't wanna sleep next to you. So no sex we had planned" sort of thing. Happened two times to me. Guess its the woman in this case.

    Yeah dude but that's not what the quote says. It talks about it as some kind of tool. Like she uses her vagina to control your behaviour.

    Some women do. I've been with women who would not put out after losing an argument and wouldn't until I said I was sorry. Or who wouldn't put out because I refused to take out the trash. Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy. That's what flirting is. You pretend to care what they think and what they are saying to get into their pants. You also modify your behavior and present the better part of yourself.

    You don't have to tolerate it, there is more than one woman out there. And if it becomes not worth the effort, you can find another one. And really, by the time she's comfortable enough to say "we are not having sex until you say you are sorry and were wrong" it's really not worth the effort to impress her anymore. I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    nstf on
  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    "Being unmarried is fine!"

    OK sure, I'm behind you 100% on th-

    "A man should be able to live his life free, on his own terms!"

    Uh, well, yeah, I agree so long as you don't abuse that phi-

    "WHY WON'T LADIES LET ME ACCESS THEIR SWEET VAGINAS?"

    Hmm.....

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy.

    Some women do, just like some men are manipulative as well in any number of wa-
    nstf wrote:
    That's what flirting is.

    NO. BAD NSTF. BAD. BAD.
    nstf wrote:
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    Creepy.

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • mrt144mrt144 King of the Numbernames Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    mrt144 on
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Julius wrote: »
    Refused sex? Are you under the impression that being married makes sex some kind of right?

    No, it was sort of like "I was turned on, you pissed me off, I don't wanna sleep next to you. So no sex we had planned" sort of thing. Happened two times to me. Guess its the woman in this case.

    Yeah dude but that's not what the quote says. It talks about it as some kind of tool. Like she uses her vagina to control your behaviour.

    Some women do. I've been with women who would not put out after losing an argument and wouldn't until I said I was sorry. Or who wouldn't put out because I refused to take out the trash. Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy. That's what flirting is. You pretend to care what they think and what they are saying to get into their pants. You also modify your behavior and present the better part of yourself.

    You don't have to tolerate it, there is more than one woman out there. And if it becomes not worth the effort, you can find another one. And really, by the time she's comfortable enough to say "we are not having sex until you say you are sorry and were wrong" it's really not worth the effort to impress her anymore. I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    Seriously, you should have a quote on the cover of this book.

    "nstf says "bitches need to recognize""

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    mrt144 wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    No, that defeats the purpose of having a whore. Not a significant other.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy. That's what flirting is. [strike]You pretend to care what they think and what they are saying to get into their pants.[/strike] You also modify your behavior and present the better part of yourself.

    I would have agreed with you if not for that line.

    emnmnme on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    There sure are some ideas about relationships in this thread.

    KalTorak on
  • mrt144mrt144 King of the Numbernames Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Sentry wrote: »
    mrt144 wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    No, that defeats the purpose of having a whore. Not a significant other.

    Please, a significant other fulfills many needs outside the scope of what a whore could ever possibly fulfill. One of those needs they do fulfill within the scope of a relationship though is sex and it's simply ludicrous to believe you need to dedicate any special effort to get your significant other into bed. I mean, if you're not sexually compatible, why are you in a relationship to begin with?

    mrt144 on
  • nstfnstf __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy.

    Some women do, just like some men are manipulative as well in any number of wa-
    nstf wrote:
    That's what flirting is.

    NO. BAD NSTF. BAD. BAD.
    nstf wrote:
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    Creepy.

    1. I never said men can't be manipulative. But the topic of contention is "do women use sex to make men do things or alter their behavior" the answer is yes.

    2. So you don't act better and put your best foot forward when trying to impress someone? I dress and act a lot different when picking up a girl at a bar than I do kicking it around my place with a friend over the weekend.

    3. It's not creepy at all. The difference between a GF/FWB/FB and a friend is that I'm sleeping with them. The point of a fuck buddy is it's someone you can just call up and have sex with. If they are making you work for it, what's the point? The purpose of a friend with benefits is a friend you can just go back to one of your places and screw and no nothing will come of it, if they place a list of demands what is the point? As for a girl friend, you do have sex with the people you are dating correct? Dating someone and being in a relationship and not having sex with them is just odd, and you don't have to work for it.

    They certainly don't have to have sex with me. And they certainly are entitled to try and make me change my mind or do something before they do. Fair game. But if I'm going to have to put out effort I might as well go to a bar and pick up someone else. I'm not going to play that game.

    nstf on
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    KalTorak wrote: »
    There sure are some ideas about relationships in this thread.

    Arch on
  • Edith_Bagot-DixEdith_Bagot-Dix Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Women do realize that guys will modify their behavior to get pussy.

    Some women do, just like some men are manipulative as well in any number of wa-
    nstf wrote:
    That's what flirting is.

    NO. BAD NSTF. BAD. BAD.
    nstf wrote:
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    Creepy.

    I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to get some pussy? 'No!' says the woman in the house, 'It belongs to me.'

    Edith_Bagot-Dix on


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  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    mrt144 wrote: »
    it's simply ludicrous to believe you need to dedicate any special effort to get your significant other into bed.

    There sure are some ideas about relationships in this thread.

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to get some pussy? 'No!' says the woman in the house, 'It belongs to me.'

    What are you saying? Andrew Ryan, in protest of withheld genitals, started a Utopian society where men have vaginas?

    emnmnme on
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    mrt144 wrote: »
    Sentry wrote: »
    mrt144 wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with a GF/FWB/FB, that defeats the point of having one.

    No, that defeats the purpose of having a whore. Not a significant other.

    Please, a significant other fulfills many needs outside the scope of what a whore could ever possibly fulfill. One of those needs they do fulfill within the scope of a relationship though is sex and it's simply ludicrous to believe you need to dedicate any special effort to get your significant other into bed. I mean, if you're not sexually compatible, why are you in a relationship to begin with?

    While I do think that intimacy is an important part of any relationship, I find it a little silly that a relationship can't happen or can't progress because you're not actively having sex/fooling around with your SO all the time.

    Just to be clear, you're not saying that, right?

    ChillyWilly on
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