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[Mass Effect] Actually a Gears of War Spin-off

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    ElitistbElitistb Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I remember when Garrus was talking about his vigilante squad and demolition expert. He specifically mentions that he was a batarian as if it was completely and totally out of character for one of them to be a decent person.

    Which it is.

    It sorta reminds me of the story of the Good Samaritan, where Jesus obviously expects all Samaritans to be complete assholes.

    Hmm. Garrus is Jesus.

    Elitistb on
    steam_sig.png
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    WybornWyborn GET EQUIPPED Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    The smell of roasting flesh isn't a smell like meat as you understand the word. People don't smell like pork or beef. Our brains are hard-wired to react to the smell of human fat, and putting it over fire is like shoving a stick in your bicep and twisting it around.

    I could see them out there, with their plasma weapons and their stunsticks and the huge reaching claws they used to insert control chips into people's brains. I could see people in cages, people stripped naked and murdered and violated for amusement, people made to burn each other alive, screaming because they couldn't resist the commands given to them. It wouldn't happen to me, I said. Not to me. Not to my family. I took my first life that day, a batarian heavy gunner who didn't think to watch the window with the child in it, who didn't think an adolescent human could perforate his head with a small-caliber rifle. It took three shots. The last one took him in his lower left eye.

    Our homestead was a killing field. We had no illusions about surviving. None of us were surviving. But we wouldn't be taken, we wouldn't be abused and subjected to literally inhuman cruelty that we neither understood nor cared to learn about.

    When the whistling of the artillery strike grew overhead, it was a sign of victory. I was afraid, my cousins were afraid, but I saw that my parents and aunts and uncles had a look of peace and triumph on their faces. I thought I understood why when our house exploded.

    I bit the Alliance soldier who dragged me out of the rubble. I don't remember screaming or crying over my parents, but I must have, right? I loved them very much, and they were gone, and I was alone.

    I remember the vids in the wake of that, Batarian ambassadors to the Citadel who argued that they were exercising their cultural rights to capture and keep slaves, regardless of race. I saw them argue, bald-faced, that their institutionalized cruelty was the way of things, that it hsould not be challenged, and that to do so went against the natural order. Mindoir was mentioned as a great cultural triumph of the batarian people. I remember where I was when I heard that one - I was in the mess hall in basic training, surrounded by rowdy would-be soldiers who had stopped to listen to the justification of atrocities. War was coming, my friends said. All I could think about was the smell of burning fat.

    You think I joined the Alliance to secure man's place in the stars? Out of some sense of duty to my parents, who could have lived if there had been soldiers to protect them, if the Einstein had been an hour faster (God, I wish this was why)? Why do you think I sent men into the grinder at Torfan, didn't flinch when word of the casualties came back, counted off the enemy numbers in my head until I knew they were all dead and in pieces?

    They said Torfan would change anyone, but that's not true. Torfan was a fire, but Mindoir had already made me into steel. I have never known peace except when sighting down on a batarian, when charging at them across a great distance and hurling them from rooftops and into chasms and crushing the life from their throats with my bare hands. This revenge is the only thing that makes me forget the smell of burning fat, just for a little while.

    So yeah, I'll put up with Cerberus. I'll kill all of them in the end if they don't fall in line, and I'll kill the Illusive Man in every case you can come up with. But batarians?

    No batarian shall be suffered to live.

    Wyborn on
    dN0T6ur.png
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    DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I fully endorse this page.

    Edit: The last page.

    Dragkonias on
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    SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Dragkonias wrote: »
    I fully endorse this page.

    But...you were the only one on the page? :P

    Spoit on
    steam_sig.png
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    DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    ...Totp, it happens.

    Dragkonias on
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    SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Thus the :P

    Spoit on
    steam_sig.png
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    WybornWyborn GET EQUIPPED Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Call me a Cerberus apologist

    I'll apologize ironically when I push the barrel of the Eviscerator against the Illusive Man's chest. With Inferno Ammo on.

    "Sorry. This might give you some heart burn."

    BLAM

    Wyborn on
    dN0T6ur.png
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    BlackDoveBlackDove Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    The smell of roasting flesh isn't a smell like meat as you understand the word. People don't smell like pork or beef. Our brains are hard-wired to react to the smell of human fat, and putting it over fire is like shoving a stick in your bicep and twisting it around.

    I could see them out there, with their plasma weapons and their stunsticks and the huge reaching claws they used to insert control chips into people's brains. I could see people in cages, people stripped naked and murdered and violated for amusement, people made to burn each other alive, screaming because they couldn't resist the commands given to them. It wouldn't happen to me, I said. Not to me. Not to my family. I took my first life that day, a batarian heavy gunner who didn't think to watch the window with the child in it, who didn't think an adolescent human could perforate his head with a small-caliber rifle. It took three shots. The last one took him in his lower left eye.

    Our homestead was a killing field. We had no illusions about surviving. None of us were surviving. But we wouldn't be taken, we wouldn't be abused and subjected to literally inhuman cruelty that we neither understood nor cared to learn about.

    When the whistling of the artillery strike grew overhead, it was a sign of victory. I was afraid, my cousins were afraid, but I saw that my parents and aunts and uncles had a look of peace and triumph on their faces. I thought I understood why when our house exploded.

    I bit the Alliance soldier who dragged me out of the rubble. I don't remember screaming or crying over my parents, but I must have, right? I loved them very much, and they were gone, and I was alone.

    I remember the vids in the wake of that, Batarian ambassadors to the Citadel who argued that they were exercising their cultural rights to capture and keep slaves, regardless of race. I saw them argue, bald-faced, that their institutionalized cruelty was the way of things, that it hsould not be challenged, and that to do so went against the natural order. Mindoir was mentioned as a great cultural triumph of the batarian people. I remember where I was when I heard that one - I was in the mess hall in basic training, surrounded by rowdy would-be soldiers who had stopped to listen to the justification of atrocities. War was coming, my friends said. All I could think about was the smell of burning fat.

    You think I joined the Alliance to secure man's place in the stars? Out of some sense of duty to my parents, who could have lived if there had been soldiers to protect them, if the Einstein had been an hour faster (God, I wish this was why)? Why do you think I sent men into the grinder at Torfan, didn't flinch when word of the casualties came back, counted off the enemy numbers in my head until I knew they were all dead and in pieces?

    They said Torfan would change anyone, but that's not true. Torfan was a fire, but Mindoir had already made me into steel. I have never known peace except when sighting down on a batarian, when charging at them across a great distance and hurling them from rooftops and into chasms and crushing the life from their throats with my bare hands. This revenge is the only thing that makes me forget the smell of burning fat, just for a little while.

    So yeah, I'll put up with Cerberus. I'll kill all of them in the end if they don't fall in line, and I'll kill the Illusive Man in every case you can come up with. But batarians?

    No batarian shall be suffered to live.

    So we'll hate them. Because they can take it. Because they're not our heroes.

    That's it.

    We'll do that.

    BlackDove on
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    evilthecatevilthecat Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I can't believe people are wasting classic quotes on batarians

    evilthecat on
    tip.. tip.. TALLY.. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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    deowolfdeowolf is allowed to do that. Traffic.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    No war was ever won in space by dying for the council. No, wars are only won in space by slaughtering filthy, vile batarians.

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
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    Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Speak softly. And carry a big stick...

    to beat batarians.

    Mild Confusion on
    steam_sig.png

    Battlenet ID: MildC#11186 - If I'm in the game, send me an invite at anytime and I'll play.
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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I'm here to kill batarians and chew bubblegum.

    And I'm all out of bubblegum.

    TrippyJing on
    b1ehrMM.gif
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    CabbsCabbs Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    These batarians aint gonna slaughter themselves.

    well, they will.

    just not fast enough.

    Cabbs on
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    Rogueknight-Rogueknight- Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I've actually spared at least 30 Batarians in my Mass Effect Games.

    There was Bring Down the Sky:
    I let Charn, (Balak's Lieutenant) and all his buddies walk away after Intimidating them.

    And then I chose to save the Hostages and Disarm the Bombs rather than chase down Balak, so he got away. (I plan to rectify this one if we see him again in ME3 or DLC)

    And Mass Effect 2:
    -I saved the Batarian who thought humans created the plague and even sent medical help back for him.
    -I spared the room full of Batarian's who were attacking Mordin's assistant Daniel.

    Although there is one Batarian bartender who didn't end up so well after trying to poison Shepard.

    In summary though I don't think i've necessarily caught on with this Batarian hate yet. I'm quite happy with Shepard kicking the ass of all individuals equally (Usually based on their amount of belief in the Reapers, the amount of air-quotes they use or the amount of times they try to kill him)

    Rogueknight- on
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    SaurfangSaurfang Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    What's the difference between a live batarian and a dead one?
    Shepard hasn't arrived yet.

    Saurfang on
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    <slowclap.gif>

    Orca on
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    GoodKingJayIIIGoodKingJayIII They wanna get my gold on the ceilingRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Orca wrote: »
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    <slowclap.gif>

    What is that from?

    GoodKingJayIII on
    Battletag: Threeve#1501; PSN: Threeve703; Steam: 3eeve
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Orca wrote: »
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    <slowclap.gif>

    What is that from?

    The image itself was taken from Citizen Kane. The meme/gif I first saw on Fark, and I'm guessing probably originated in 4chan, like so much else.
    slow-clap.gif

    Orca on
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    FairchildFairchild Rabbit used short words that were easy to understand, like "Hello Pooh, how about Lunch ?" Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Holy Moley Orca, would you get a job already ?

    Unless you are living on some infinite inheritance trust fund, in which case, how is the progress on construction of that massive starship suspended in the atmosphere constantly moving at the boundary of day and night and thus invisible to all known detection technology ?

    Fairchild on
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    SoundsPlushSoundsPlush yup, back. Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    i still love their introduction in BDtS

    the doors open, Shepard gets this absolutely disgusted look on his/her face and says "Batarians." in a tone of voice that might as well be "Goddamned Batarians!"

    With good reason, too: Of the nine possible background combinations for Shepard, seven of them involve goddamn batarians.

    SoundsPlush on
    s7Imn5J.png
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    DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Fairchild wrote: »
    Holy Moley Orca, would you get a job already ?

    Unless you are living on some infinite inheritance trust fund, in which case, how is the progress on construction of that massive starship suspended in the atmosphere constantly moving at the boundary of day and night and thus invisible to all known detection technology ?

    Some of us have a lot of access to computers. I have a computer almost everywhere I go, going to get an Iphone soon too.

    Dragkonias on
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    It's my last week of summer, Fairchild. Don't take this away from me.
    In class I'll have access to lab computers and my own netbook, so you're still not safe.

    Orca on
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    envoy1envoy1 the old continentRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I'm bowing to pressure and re-rolling my curly-sentinel-slutshep as a moustachioed handsome devil (or sleezy prick, take your pick).

    Votes on which ME2 romance to
    sandwich between quickie with Jack and exploring Liara's azure?
    Anyone who votes Tali will be disqualified.

    envoy1 on
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    NartwakNartwak Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    T-

    Uh...

    Nartwak on
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    That was the first and last time I will ever do the Collector Ship on Insanity.

    Fuck me that was insane.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    envoy1 wrote: »
    I'm bowing to pressure and re-rolling my curly-sentinel-slutshep as a moustachioed handsome devil (or sleezy prick, take your pick).

    Votes on which ME2 romance to
    sandwich between quickie with Jack and exploring Liara's azure?
    Anyone who votes Tali will be disqualified.

    Garrus.

    Yes.

    Orca on
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    FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Yeah Batarians are almost irredeemable. Recall that according to I Remember Me girl, they literally hotwire the brains of their slaves.

    Fuck the Batarians.

    Fiaryn on
    Soul Silver FC: 1935 3141 6240
    White FC: 0819 3350 1787
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    Feels Good ManFeels Good Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I like the little news message that plays in Omega sometimes that says some Batarian protested the outlawing of slavery because it discriminates against their culture



    I like that

    Feels Good Man on
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    curly haired boycurly haired boy Your Friendly Neighborhood Torgue Dealer Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Spoit wrote: »
    BlackDove wrote: »
    Why no love for Batarians.

    They kill almost (but not quite) as many human colonists as Cerberus.

    You weren't there. At Mindoir. You can't understand.

    D:

    man, fuckin' batarians. i killed more than my share on Elysium, way more than my share, but they could have been voluses for all i cared.

    nobody was going to get inside that hotel.

    it was me, Dax, a turian named Finax, and this crazy geezer who had some unholy weaponry inside his luggage. Dax went down first. they had taken a sniper position from deep inside the building across the street. the sniper missed the headshot, but grazed his neck in the right place.

    Finax thought the lull after 4 hours meant we had got em all. i told him i wasn't moving until i heard an alliance "all-clear" from out there. i couldn't stop him, though. he took the grenade launcher but didn't get 3 steps from the lobby before the cars nearest the entrance blew up. booby trap.

    The old guy, i dunno, he must have been former special forces or something. maybe with clearances, because how else do you pack a grenade launcher, a sniper rifle, and a shotgun in your carry-on? as soon as the fighting started, he went up to his room. i thought he was just going to shelter in place like the other civilians, but when he came back with the guns, well, i was sure happy to see him. i only had my sidearm.

    Anyway, this guy sets up in a corner with the sniper rifle and starts gunning down the opposition. good shot. he would have lasted longer if he wasn't so close to the doors, though. they sent in the guys with flamethrowers next. he got trapped behind a table. it didn't look good, but he gave me a nod, slid the sniper rifle back in my direction, then produced a sidearm and shot himself. didn't stop them from burning the body, unfortunately.

    then it was just me.

    they came in slowly after Finax went down. pretty sure they thought he was the only guy left. wasn't long before i corrected their mistake. then they started coming in waves. first 3 guys, then 4 at once. cover wasn't good enough out there for more than that.

    it's funny, most people don't pay much mind to killing zones when designing civilian buildings, but i said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever made this lobby long and narrow. eventually i lost track of how many i'd killed. flash of gunfire, duck, slide over to other side of cover. pop out, quick shots to catch the guy behind the planter. flash of gunfire. duck. pick up alternate gun, wait for the other to cool down. repeat.

    my gun depleted its ammo block some hours in. i moved to using Dax's, then the sniper rifle.

    It got harder as the hours wore on. The batarians started using their own fallen as cover. i suppose that was smart, considering how many there were.

    When I finally heard the all-clear, I was down to 1/8 of a block, and was seriously considering crawling out to pick up a gun from one of the batarians i'd killed.

    so yeah, people think i hate batarians, but it wasn't personal. not like you.

    curly haired boy on
    RxI0N.png
    Registered just for the Mass Effect threads | Steam: click ^^^ | Origin: curlyhairedboy
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    EmporiumEmporium Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I believe there is also a batarian newscast on Omega that goes something like "we don't have any idea who took the human colony of Freedom's Progress, but good job anyways".

    The batarians also kicked my dog and took my lunch money. Bastards.

    Emporium on
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    BlackDoveBlackDove Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    You sir, you're a blight.

    BlackDove on
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    HedgethornHedgethorn Associate Professor of Historical Hobby Horses In the Lions' DenRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    That was the first and last time I will ever do the Collector Ship on Insanity.

    Fuck me that was insane.

    I thought Horizon on insanity was worse than the collector ship, if only because I was underleveled for Horizon.

    I still haven't made it to the Reaper ship yet. I'm scared to find out what awaits me.

    Hedgethorn on
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Horizon was the major roadblock for me my first time through. Collector Ship came in a decided second to that, and the Reaper ship was generally downright easy in comparison (I still died loads though).

    Orca on
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I died about 6 times on Horizon, and over a dozen on the Collector Ship.

    I think it was the learning curve for the Revenant kicking in. On Horizon, I pretty much had the Mattock down.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    curly haired boycurly haired boy Your Friendly Neighborhood Torgue Dealer Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    i died quite a bit to the praetorian on horizon

    so much of my first playthrough was not realizing that this wasn't fucking zelda, there's no "trick" to enemies or bosses. just shoot and shoot some more.

    curly haired boy on
    RxI0N.png
    Registered just for the Mass Effect threads | Steam: click ^^^ | Origin: curlyhairedboy
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    It was the dual Scions plus husk charge that did me in. Also I hadn't figured out how to deal with Harbinger's fuck-you balls at that time, and those waves of collectors kept raping me. By the time there was a rematch, bitch, it was on!

    Orca on
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    SoundsPlushSoundsPlush yup, back. Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Ugh, I remember running in circles around the perimeter of that place, sprinting past twin radial shockwaves, turning around to fire off a desperate incinerate at the pursuing Task Force Husk, and then running in panic again at the sound of another shockwave.

    On my first playthrough, normal, I thought scions were cake and Praetorians were the tough stuff. Insanity completely reversed that impression.

    SoundsPlush on
    s7Imn5J.png
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Yeah, my first time through Horizon on Insanity is where I came up with how to cheese the mission--'cuz I hadn't yet learned how to play it right O_o

    Orca on
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    ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    horizon on insanity without newgame+ weaponry and upgrades is an exercise in self-mutilation.

    Unless you are a vanguard, then its all charge, shotgun, HAHA, charge, shotgun, HAHA

    Buttcleft on
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    PopesnaxPopesnax Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I don't understand why everyone has a problem on Horizon. I've done it on Insanity as an Infiltrator and a Soldier (the easy classes, yes, but still) and on hardcore as a Vanguard and an Adept and it was pretty easy. Even the final section was fairly simple once I figured out where the best place to take cover was.


    Now the Collector Vessel, that's the bitch to end all bitches.

    Popesnax on
This discussion has been closed.