Conan: Crom has never looked this good

cj iwakura · May 2007

What, no bears?

Echo · May 2007

Talonrazor wrote: »

All I can tell you is I fucking love the screenshot from this game. Everytime I see Conan's down-syndrome, retarded face staring at me as if to say "why are you watching my bash this guy", I just burst into laughter. It is so incredibly hilarious.

CONANFACE

darleysam · May 2007

Echo wrote: »

Talonrazor wrote: »

All I can tell you is I fucking love the screenshot from this game. Everytime I see Conan's down-syndrome, retarded face staring at me as if to say "why are you watching my bash this guy", I just burst into laughter. It is so incredibly hilarious.

CONANFACE

S. · May 2007

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

What the fuck do you want people to do then? Pretend it doesn't look like absolute ass?

devoir · May 2007

This thread is so much pure awesome. Giggled all the way through reading it.

AbsoluteZero · May 2007

This will probably go down as the greatest Conan game that should have come out in the 20th century.

darleysam · May 2007

S. wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

What the fuck do you want people to do then? Pretend it doesn't look like absolute ass?

i think Denis Dyack would like a word

Woodroez · May 2007

Honestly, the last I saw of the MMO it looked terrible. Really. Terrible. ninja edit: But it'd be awesome if it's since been trotted out and looked alot better.

I've read a preview of this game somewhere, maybe Game Informer? The game sounded solid. If I can find it lying around I'll put some quotes down.

Fiaryn · May 2007

My poop smeared on a wall looks better than those screenshots.

JWFokker · May 2007

Woodroez wrote: »

Honestly, the last I saw of the MMO it looked terrible. Really. Terrible. ninja edit: But it'd be awesome if it's since been trotted out and looked alot better.

I've read a preview of this game somewhere, maybe Game Informer? The game sounded solid. If I can find it lying around I'll put some quotes down.

It does look quite a bit better. You should see the DX10 screens of it.

Taramoor · May 2007

CONAN! The Adventurer!
CONAN! Warrior without fear!

H'es more powerful than any man
His legend spreads across the land and seeeeaaaa!

CONAN! The mightiest warrior ever!
His quest, to undo the spell of living stone cast upon his family
By driving the evil serpent men back into another dimension
And vanquishing their leader...

The cruel wizard Wrath-Amon!

CONAN! The adventurer!
CONAN! Man of bravery!
With his magic sword protecting the mightiest of warriors is Heeee!

CONAN!

...

Sorry about that...

Der Waffle Mous · May 2007

pomegranates.

devoir · May 2007

... Star metal...

Oh god, you've just unlocked another segment of unbridled childhood cartoon joy.

Let the wikipediaing begin!

Profs · May 2007

JWFokker wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

exist · May 2007

Profs wrote: »

JWFokker wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

this is my favorite post in the entire world.

Monoxide · May 2007

Profs wrote: »

JWFokker wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

Heh, I think I laughed harder at reading this post than at the original shots.

GertBeef · May 2007

Profs wrote: »

JWFokker wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

This is the best post ive ever read here besides that one where that kid couldn't understand why raping a woman would be painful for her.

devoir · May 2007

Profs wrote: »

JWFokker wrote: »

Zombiemambo wrote: »

No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

"Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

Bravo, sir.

Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

Congratulations. You sir have won the internet for today.

xboxxer · May 2007

Hey, I agree that the screenshots look f'ing terrible ... but the gametrailers vid one of the previous posters put up actually doesn't look as bad. It's from May 17, so a bit more current build, I'm sure.

The game looks like a pretty standard beat-em-up. I didn't see anything overly impressive, but it didn't look like the embarrassment that the screenshots would indicate.

JWFokker · May 2007

So I'm right AGAIN.

And graphics sell games. Gameplay...not so much.

Profs · May 2007

Yeah, I wrote the post without even looking at the shots, then I wondered, "Why the hell is everyone ridiculing it so much?", so I decided I might as well give 'em a look.

-SPI- · May 2007

Is this connected at all to the xbox Conan game? Did that even get released? I remember playing a demo of it one time but I didn't hear anything more about it.

devoir · May 2007

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/xbox/data/915025.html Released 2004.

-SPI- · May 2007

Huh, guess it was so mediocre I didn't notice it. I thought they might have gone on hiatus or screwed up somewhere in development and this was it coming back. Guess not.

hamburger helper · May 2007

Profs wrote: »

Yeah, I wrote the post without even looking at the shots, then I wondered, "Why the hell is everyone ridiculing it so much?", so I decided I might as well give 'em a look.

oh man

Neo Rasa · May 2007

devoir wrote: »

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/xbox/data/915025.html Released 2004.

It did come out on the Gamecube and PC also, all iterations of it only came out in Europe though.

An ideal Conan game would be a clone of either Deus Ex or Planescape: Torment but in Howard's setting.

That said, Conan: Hall of Volta on the Apple II is an awesome puzzle/platformer that predates Prince of Persia. Conan the Cimmerian and the RPG that preceeds it are both very good as well. Conan and the Mystery of Time on the NES is an abomination undreamed of. The XBox/GC/PC game isn't bad but is strictly standard stuff.

I'm willing to at least give this one a chance but my hopes aren't all that high.

WillisIVIIX · May 2007

This whole topic from start to finish has really made my night, thanks guys. Regardless if this game looks like ass just as long as you can have sex with a witch and throw her into a bonfire, I'm so getting it.

/punches a camel.

Neo Rasa · May 2007

WillisIVIIX wrote: »

/punches a camel.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GMXyL1FySK8

00:36 ~ seriously Milius, what the hell is that guy doing to that poor llama? Even on the commentary track all he could say is "What's going on with that llama?"

Mordrack · May 2007

Neo Rasa wrote: »

WillisIVIIX wrote: »

/punches a camel.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GMXyL1FySK8

00:36 ~ seriously Milius, what the hell is that guy doing to that poor llama? Even on the commentary track all he could say is "What's going on with that llama?"

Getting to know it,... carnally.

cj iwakura · May 2007

But does it still have this?

Spoiler:

Because that can still save the game.

Monoxide · May 2007

cj iwakura wrote: »

But does it still have this?

Spoiler:

Because that can still save the game.

That's the MMORPG, bud. Age of Conan.

This is Conan. 360/PS3 only. Different in about every way.

AbsoluteZero · May 2007

That is a large bear.

cj iwakura · May 2007

Monoxide wrote: »

cj iwakura wrote: »

But does it still have this?

Spoiler:

Because that can still save the game.

That's the MMORPG, bud. Age of Conan.

This is Conan. 360/PS3 only. Different in about every way.

I thought they looked different.

Sad that the MMO looks better.

Evil Multifarious · May 2007

AbsoluteZero wrote: »

That is a large bear.

That is pretty much the first thing anyone says when they see that pic.

Sometimes they think it's a boulder at first.

Jensen · May 2007

This OP is outstanding. Best laugh I've had all day.

Penny Arcade

Conan: Crom has never looked this good

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