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Conan: Crom has never looked this good

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Posts

  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Rogue Coral Springs, FLRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What, no bears?

    fiV9i14.jpg
    蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past
  • EchoEcho very gravitas Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited May 2007
    Talonrazor wrote: »
    All I can tell you is I fucking love the screenshot from this game. Everytime I see Conan's down-syndrome, retarded face staring at me as if to say "why are you watching my bash this guy", I just burst into laughter. It is so incredibly hilarious.

    CONANFACE

  • darleysamdarleysam Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Echo wrote: »
    Talonrazor wrote: »
    All I can tell you is I fucking love the screenshot from this game. Everytime I see Conan's down-syndrome, retarded face staring at me as if to say "why are you watching my bash this guy", I just burst into laughter. It is so incredibly hilarious.

    CONANFACE

    Conan-OBrien.jpg

  • S.S. Registered User
    edited May 2007
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.
    What the fuck do you want people to do then? Pretend it doesn't look like absolute ass?

  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited May 2007
    This thread is so much pure awesome. Giggled all the way through reading it.

  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    This will probably go down as the greatest Conan game that should have come out in the 20th century.

    3DS Friend Code: 0817-5033-8184 // Nintendo Network ID: AbsoluteZero
  • darleysamdarleysam Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    S. wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.
    What the fuck do you want people to do then? Pretend it doesn't look like absolute ass?

    i think Denis Dyack would like a word

  • WoodroezWoodroez Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Honestly, the last I saw of the MMO it looked terrible. Really. Terrible. ninja edit: But it'd be awesome if it's since been trotted out and looked alot better.

    I've read a preview of this game somewhere, maybe Game Informer? The game sounded solid. If I can find it lying around I'll put some quotes down.

    858213-butcher-2.jpg
  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    My poop smeared on a wall looks better than those screenshots.

    Soul Silver FC: 1935 3141 6240
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  • JWFokkerJWFokker Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Woodroez wrote: »
    Honestly, the last I saw of the MMO it looked terrible. Really. Terrible. ninja edit: But it'd be awesome if it's since been trotted out and looked alot better.

    I've read a preview of this game somewhere, maybe Game Informer? The game sounded solid. If I can find it lying around I'll put some quotes down.

    It does look quite a bit better. You should see the DX10 screens of it.

  • TaramoorTaramoor Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    CONAN! The Adventurer!
    CONAN! Warrior without fear!

    H'es more powerful than any man
    His legend spreads across the land and seeeeaaaa!

    CONAN! The mightiest warrior ever!
    His quest, to undo the spell of living stone cast upon his family
    By driving the evil serpent men back into another dimension
    And vanquishing their leader...

    The cruel wizard Wrath-Amon!

    CONAN! The adventurer!
    CONAN! Man of bravery!
    With his magic sword protecting the mightiest of warriors is Heeee!

    CONAN!

    ...

    Sorry about that...

  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    pomegranates.

    zaku.png
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited May 2007
    ... Star metal...

    Oh god, you've just unlocked another segment of unbridled childhood cartoon joy.

    Let the wikipediaing begin!

  • ProfsProfs Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    JWFokker wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.

    Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

    Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

    Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

    EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

  • existexist Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Profs wrote: »
    JWFokker wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.

    Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

    Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

    Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

    EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

    this is my favorite post in the entire world.

    UmPiq.png
  • MonoxideMonoxide Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Profs wrote: »
    JWFokker wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.

    Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

    Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

    Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

    EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

    Heh, I think I laughed harder at reading this post than at the original shots.

    conanface.gif

  • GertBeefGertBeef Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Profs wrote: »
    JWFokker wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.

    Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

    Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

    Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

    EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

    This is the best post ive ever read here besides that one where that kid couldn't understand why raping a woman would be painful for her.

    gertsig.jpg
  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Profs wrote: »
    JWFokker wrote: »
    No, but people act like this is the final product. Stupid shit like this:

    "Conan video games have never looked as good as those screenshots, but that doesn't change the fact that the screenshots look like absolute ass. This is going to be for PS3 and 360? It looks like an Xbox 1 game at best."

    Bravo, sir.

    Developers don't generally show off games when they look like shit. I'm betting this is 90% what the final product is going to look like. Defend it all you want, but when the game launches and looks like fucking ass, don't say I didn't warn you.

    Noted, good sir. I'm sure the developers are not expecting you to say their game looks amazing (in fact, they probably wouldn't even ask you to say it looks good), but they're not trying to sell the game on it's graphics. They're trying to sell it on a concept and a setting. The Conan setting is pretty fucking epic, and the character provides a very ideal archetype for an intense action game. They're trying to sell the idea of an action game with alot of depth and technical skill, mostly similar to Ninja Gaiden in that regard. If you read a fucking preview of it, it actually sounds pretty good. You could obviously play devil's advocate and say that's a preview, and they have to deliver on the concept, but by that same token, I think they're working quite a bit harder on getting the gameplay, what's going to sell their game, right now, than they are on getting lighting and models to look perfect.

    Every game can look fucking gorgeous today, but what's the point if you don't have a concept behind it?

    EDIT: Oh fucking wow. I took a closer look at the screenshots, and I've been laughing for like 5 minutes straight. The game's gonna suck ass, and fuck everything I just said.

    Congratulations. You sir have won the internet for today.

  • xboxxerxboxxer Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Hey, I agree that the screenshots look f'ing terrible ... but the gametrailers vid one of the previous posters put up actually doesn't look as bad. It's from May 17, so a bit more current build, I'm sure.

    The game looks like a pretty standard beat-em-up. I didn't see anything overly impressive, but it didn't look like the embarrassment that the screenshots would indicate.

    PSN: Entair / XBLive: White Seraph
  • JWFokkerJWFokker Registered User
    edited May 2007
    So I'm right AGAIN.

    And graphics sell games. Gameplay...not so much.

  • ProfsProfs Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Yeah, I wrote the post without even looking at the shots, then I wondered, "Why the hell is everyone ridiculing it so much?", so I decided I might as well give 'em a look.

  • -SPI--SPI- Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Is this connected at all to the xbox Conan game? Did that even get released? I remember playing a demo of it one time but I didn't hear anything more about it.

  • -SPI--SPI- Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Huh, guess it was so mediocre I didn't notice it. I thought they might have gone on hiatus or screwed up somewhere in development and this was it coming back. Guess not.

  • hamburger helperhamburger helper Registered User
    edited May 2007
    Profs wrote: »
    Yeah, I wrote the post without even looking at the shots, then I wondered, "Why the hell is everyone ridiculing it so much?", so I decided I might as well give 'em a look.

    oh man

    statimg.php?id=280&theme=1
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    devoir wrote: »

    It did come out on the Gamecube and PC also, all iterations of it only came out in Europe though.


    An ideal Conan game would be a clone of either Deus Ex or Planescape: Torment but in Howard's setting.

    That said, Conan: Hall of Volta on the Apple II is an awesome puzzle/platformer that predates Prince of Persia. Conan the Cimmerian and the RPG that preceeds it are both very good as well. Conan and the Mystery of Time on the NES is an abomination undreamed of. The XBox/GC/PC game isn't bad but is strictly standard stuff.

    I'm willing to at least give this one a chance but my hopes aren't all that high.

    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • WillisIVIIXWillisIVIIX Registered User
    edited May 2007
    This whole topic from start to finish has really made my night, thanks guys. Regardless if this game looks like ass just as long as you can have sex with a witch and throw her into a bonfire, I'm so getting it.

    /punches a camel.

  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    /punches a camel.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=GMXyL1FySK8

    00:36 ~ seriously Milius, what the hell is that guy doing to that poor llama? Even on the commentary track all he could say is "What's going on with that llama?"

    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • MordrackMordrack Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Neo Rasa wrote: »
    /punches a camel.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=GMXyL1FySK8

    00:36 ~ seriously Milius, what the hell is that guy doing to that poor llama? Even on the commentary track all he could say is "What's going on with that llama?"
    Getting to know it,... carnally.

    steam_sig.png
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Rogue Coral Springs, FLRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    But does it still have this?
    Spoiler:

    Because that can still save the game.

    fiV9i14.jpg
    蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past
  • MonoxideMonoxide Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    cj iwakura wrote: »
    But does it still have this?
    Spoiler:

    Because that can still save the game.

    That's the MMORPG, bud. Age of Conan.

    This is Conan. 360/PS3 only. Different in about every way.

  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    That is a large bear.

    3DS Friend Code: 0817-5033-8184 // Nintendo Network ID: AbsoluteZero
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Rogue Coral Springs, FLRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Monoxide wrote: »
    cj iwakura wrote: »
    But does it still have this?
    Spoiler:

    Because that can still save the game.

    That's the MMORPG, bud. Age of Conan.

    This is Conan. 360/PS3 only. Different in about every way.

    I thought they looked different.

    Sad that the MMO looks better.

    fiV9i14.jpg
    蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    That is a large bear.

    That is pretty much the first thing anyone says when they see that pic.

    Sometimes they think it's a boulder at first.

    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I fucking hate you Canadians.
  • JensenJensen Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    This OP is outstanding. Best laugh I've had all day.

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