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Fashion: Sometimes, a Dude's Gotta Look Like a Pair of Uggs

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Posts

  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    No wait that would be sweet shorts.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • redheadredhead Registered User
    edited February 2011
    crwth wrote: »
    redhead wrote: »
    bieberswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com

    really sad this isn't a website

    really considering making it myself

    i will be your first 90 pageviews

  • ProprietyPropriety Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Ugh, I don't like our new patron saint. I miss our old patron saint, even if she is a vampire saint.
    BYToady wrote: »
    My clothing would send anyone with even an ounce of style into shock.

    I should move to a tropical climate where at the very least my all sweat shorts and t-shirts apparel won't mean my instant death should I ever have to go outside during the winter.

    Shit like this is why I left Florida.

    WHY ARE THESE EVEN A THING?

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  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    The Peacock Technique
    willy-wonka-in-chocolate-factory.jpg

    We are not glorious. We are not profound. We are not of an exalted beauty. If these words strike at the heart with great wounding than perhaps they speak to a dark truth. For many of the fashion articles in this very thread they conjure ideas of elegance & style. But there are some of us who contain neither and would only look out of place in their adoption. A nice suit looks nice on John Hamm, you are not John Hamm. I am not John Hamm. These are harsh facts which we must embrace and drink in. This fashion article will examine a particular fashion technique which may serve our kind in a more meaningful way.

    The Peacock Technique
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    verb: To dress in flashy or outlandish clothing to attract women. The term itself, originating at UNC School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, comes from peacocks in nature who "shake their tail feathers" to attract mates.

    The peacock technique is a fashion maneuver focused on drawing all that wackiness and silliness from inside you to draw some mates. Animalistic features, neon colors, awful accessories are all used in building a collective image screaming, “FUCKING LOOK AT ME!” And they will look at you and they will talk about you. The peacock technique is a door opener and ice breaker all wrapped into one. You aren’t going to get any gold stars for brilliant imagery but you will be the item of discussion. So let us take a few steps down into a narcissist’s wet dream and transform you from prince into pixie.

    Colors
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    Electric flesh-arrows... traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.” -- Anais Nin

    The first instrument in rebuilding your body into a temple is color. Already discussed to a degree in some of the other articles, they have some fair points but I will address more specific issues. Firstly you want to avoid any fancy or classy colors. Blacks, slivers, navy blues. All of them are to be avoided as they make you look like you just finished a workday at the law firm. This is a bad thing. You will fall into the background and meld with all the other classy gents. So what works? Anything that almost immediately blinds the eyes is a solid point of criteria. Neon colors tend to do the trick fairly well but for a more traditional look an all cream colored outfit will make you look like the Colonel. Color clashes can also be useful as they’ll disorient those around you.

    Solidity & Layers
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    Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep” -- Carl Sandburg

    This is a complex question for a complex issue. Naturally one would jump at the solidity of a uniform, as to inspire memories of space travelers or the Olympics but this can backfire. Solidity is valuable in its ridiculousness but sadly reveals far too much of your humble form. Sweat, leaks, spills and anything else will be clearly visible. That pizza stain is going to be haunting you all evening. This is where layers comes in as you can hide beyond them. They also allow for more clashes of color and pockets for you to store crazy accessories. In addition layers allow for flashier move in a presentation or dance.

    Animalism
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    Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all.” – Aristotle

    For those wholly committed to the peacock technique adopting the form or guise of an animal is the highest achievement. Nothing draws attention like wearing a suit modeled after a tiger. You will haunt people’s minds with your simple gestures & walking. But one should be advised that when aiming for such a dedicated maneuver insight is always prudent. There should be a reason in your decision of which animal to dress like as merely throwing together an outfit of any creature of the wild shows carelessness. For a fierce night, be a fierce animal.

    Accessories
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    At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends' and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They're like an accessory.Jessica Simpson

    Accessories are useful just like any tool and that is the idea to remember. Accessories ranging from goofy hats or stupid ties are only as good as your ability to utilize them. Every tool should serve a purpose and ultimately, with enough luck, act as a traveling circus of your body for others. Avoidance should be paid to any accessory which demands constant attention from you. A hat is useful unless it always falls off or into your eyes. Ideally an accessory should also lay easy enough on your person as to allow you to have access to both hands.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    That is...a post

    I am sure of that

    nipplessig.jpg
  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I am so misunderstood in my time.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I think I am just surprised that you made a big long post about fashion, but didn't include any shots of you and your leisure suits

    nipplessig.jpg
  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I think people know enough of my outfits.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • pookapooka Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    i'll just leave this here. (fashion, TV, snark blog.) that description is unappetizing (at least to me) on the surface, but i started reading them because they blogged two of my guilty-pleasure TV programs: Project Runway and RuPaul's Drag Race. they're delightful partly because they're fascinated with fashion in itself and its role in culture, but equally aware of its pretentiousness.

  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    You know what I love and have no need for?

    1890s_black_with.pink.jpg

    Corsets. So pretty.

    Aaaand I'm starting to sweat over here...

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  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    last night on Drag Race they did 'trailers' for sci fi movies

    they were titled from Earth to Uranus

    I do not approve

  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    i don't like drag race because there is a dude on there with my name

    i mean it's not his real name, but still i can't support anything that makes my name less unique

    fuck you drag queens!

    nipplessig.jpg
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I tried corsets on in the Imperial War museum, they are tricky to pick things up in.

    No bend and snap.

    whowhosigraw_zps833557f6.jpg
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Tonight I reaffirmed 2 things, I know how to rock a suit and it absolutely does not matter. Sort of gratifying while still being a bit of a bummer.

  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... and hard.Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Liiya wrote: »
    I tried corsets on in the Imperial War museum, they are tricky to pick things up in.

    No bend and snap.

    Well, I think when they were fashionable ladies who had them would have help to do such things for them. That's my theory, anyway.

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  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    ASimPerson wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I tried corsets on in the Imperial War museum, they are tricky to pick things up in.

    No bend and snap.

    Well, I think when they were fashionable ladies who had them would have help to do such things for them. That's my theory, anyway.

    That's true, if they dropped something a servant would be about to pick it up for them.

    whowhosigraw_zps833557f6.jpg
  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Peen wrote: »
    Ahahaha, a quick google search shows that these are surplus bags from a DJ hero pre-order bonus and they are both ugly and tiny. Oh gamestop, you rascals.

    they're actually not that tiny but yeah they're not good messenger bags (and they're ugly). they're for carrying around DJ Hero turntables

    90% of the stuff on that site is just surplus marketing stuff

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  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Houk wrote: »
    i don't like drag race because there is a dude on there with my name

    i mean it's not his real name, but still i can't support anything that makes my name less unique

    fuck you drag queens!

    Phoenix?
    Spoiler:

    7LmZWpZ.jpg
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  • DepressperadoDepressperado Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Zonugal wrote: »
    I think people know enough of my outfits.

    zonugal I would pay good money for a post about your outfits and how you select them

  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    He spins a twister board and wears whatever color comes up.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    its more like a darkboard

    top columns are professions

    each row is a series of articles of clothing
    throw a dart for each needed piece of clothes


    fireman hat

    biker goggles

    jeans

    hipster v shirt so low you can see belly button

    rapist gloves

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  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I really hate corsets on like everyone. I don't know why. They're just really tacky and costumey to me, and I don't think they're for regular day-wear at all.

    SORRRRYYYYY

    Also I wish I could find skinny jeans the right length so I don't have to roll them up. American Eagle's normal is too long so I cuff them like an inch/2 inches and the short is too short. Womp. I know they're not supposed to bunch at the ankle or whatever so I dunno.

    I have an all-staff meeting at work on Tuesday and plan to turn it out with all the fashions and the makeup. Just because they never see me that way and I get a kick out of hearing them give me compliments for 2 days after. It makes me not feel as bad about myself.

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I agree with this, Sara. It's definitely an outdated costume piece now.

    There are some interesting things you could with a suit, if you were wearing something along the lines of:

    Rue%2Bdu%2BMail.jpg

    or

    image
    (minus the faux leather of course)

    but I'd be worried that you'd end up looking like a madonna video.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Coats!

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    07A05YCAM_thumb.jpg

    34O01GSTN_thumb.jpg

    I need a new mac.

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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I really like the second one! Love the shoulder shrug thingie, would go great with lots!

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  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Those are really fantastic. The shoulder cape on the second trench is adorable.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I like that one best too... it is also the most expensive!

    whowhosigraw_zps833557f6.jpg
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User
    edited February 2011
    I learned something about chick's coats the other day.

    Turns out the buttons go on the left for a chick cause that was how your maid would sew them on in the olden days.

    Cause they were right handed so it was easier.

    And dude buttons go on the other side so they don't catch on your sword!

    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • VoproSTEINVoproSTEIN howdyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I agree, I love the 2nd one. Although it looks similar to something...I don't know, maybe it's an old type style I've seen before.

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Look at the length on that one too:

    07A05YCAM_2_normal.jpg

    That is perfect.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Staleghoti wrote: »
    I learned something about chick's coats the other day.

    Turns out the buttons go on the left for a chick cause that was how your maid would sew them on in the olden days.

    Cause they were right handed so it was easier.

    And dude buttons go on the other side so they don't catch on your sword!

    Yep! It also why ladies wear a corsage on the right side of their chest and men on the right, I have to tell people that a lot at work.


    It is a bit of an old style, but I quite like that style.

    whowhosigraw_zps833557f6.jpg
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    VoproSTEIN wrote: »
    I agree, I love the 2nd one. Although it looks similar to something...I don't know, maybe it's an old type style I've seen before.

    It's definitely a vintage look.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Look at the length on that one too:

    07A05YCAM_2_normal.jpg

    That is perfect.

    It is... it is also £95.

    whowhosigraw_zps833557f6.jpg
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    and that's like 45 dollah dollah bills right??

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    and that's like 45 dollah dollah bills right??

    When I checked it out, it said $190 USD.

  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User
    edited February 2011
    naw that's like two hundred bucks

    edit: NAAAAAAASSSS

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    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    It gives off a Victorian vibe, but not like non functional, and still modern. Tres classy!

    Also coats are something you really shouldn't feel bad spending big money on, gonna be wearing it often enough in the cold months

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  • VoproSTEINVoproSTEIN howdyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Fashion is expensive

This discussion has been closed.