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William Shatner's TEKWAR

FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
edited March 2011 in Singularity Engine++
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In the year 2120, Jake Cardigan is a disgraced ex-cop framed for dealing drugs. Tough as nails and innocent, Jake Cardigan admits he was a user but maintains he was a good cop - and now, he's been released early. The book finds our hero covered in poop on a space station, divorced by his wife, and mysteriously unfrozen eleven years early...BUT WHY?

WHAT will Jake Cardigan do now?
WHERE will he go?
WILL he ever see his wife and son again?
WAS he truly innocent?

ONLY WILLIAM SHATNER CAN TELL US, AND ONLY BY USING AWESOME WORDS HE MAKES UP.

Here is a list of words he has used to indicate this book takes place in the future. This list is gleaned from the first five chapters exclusively.

banx card - a future debit card
plazpaper - future paper
brainbox - a future bong
vidphone - a future cordless phone
aircab - a future cab
skycruisers - future RV
airvans - future flying van
skybus - future bus
plastiglass - future glass
servomech - one of those robots that cleans your floor, a roomba or whatever but in the future
lazgun - poor individually effective with large groups of guardsmen
recog camera - future webcam

Fandyien on
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Posts

  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Good lord, he wrote 9 of these things.
    1. Tekwar (1989) ISBN 0-399-13495-6
    2. TekLords (1991) ISBN 0-399-13616-9
    3. TekLab (1991) ISBN 0-399-13736-X
    4. Tek Vengeance (1993) ISBN 0-399-13788-2
    5. Tek Secret (1993) ISBN 0-399-13892-7
    6. Tek Power (1994) ISBN 0-399-13997-4
    7. Tek Money (1995) ISBN 0-399-14109-X
    8. Tek Kill (1996) ISBN 0-399-14202-9
    9. Tek Net (1997) ISBN 0-399-14339-4

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I'd almost forgotten this shit existed

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
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  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    OP is missing critical info on video and game adaptations.

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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    There was also TekWorld, the comic book version

    A friend got me the first issue of it for Secret Santas last year and I honestly legitimately enjoyed it

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    PSN: GrahamCR
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  • NumerosNumeros Goodness GraciousRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Wasn't it turned into a television show too?

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  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    does jake cardigan wear a cardigan

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  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal Flo-ridaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    people from the future wouldn't call a flying cab "a cab". That's silly.

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  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    All I know about TekWar is that Father Ted used to read the books, and once had them as his chosen subject on a trivia gameshow

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  • samusaran253samusaran253 __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2011
    I own a TekWar book, but never read it

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  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2011
    Futurewords created for fiction are almost universally terrible.

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    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
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  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I owned and read a couple of these back when they first came out. I have no idea where they are now, probably burried in with other novels that I haven't seen in over a decade.

    I enjoyed the first couple, but vaguely recall them getting sillier and eventually just stopped looking for them. Could probably figure out where I left off in the series from a wiki search, but now I'm kind of tempted to hunt through those boxes tonight and see if I still have them, or if they ended up being given away or sold during a pre-moving purge.

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    this always reminds me of father ted

    and vice versa

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  • simulacrumsimulacrum Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    "Plazpaper" Really?

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  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    why is rob lowe on the cover of that book

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    You can't have plastic glass.

    It's either plastic or glass.

    Fuck you William Shatner.

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  • A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The Geek wrote: »
    Futurewords created for fiction are almost universally terrible.

    Your opinion cuts me.



    Like a vibroblade through bantha butter.

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    Steam - Talon Valdez : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk
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  • ani_game_bumani_game_bum Keyblade Master Trainee Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Numeros wrote: »
    Wasn't it turned into a television show too?

    Yes, I believe it was a syndicated series that eventually found it's way to USA Network on cable. Was cool to watch but didn't last long.

    E: read about half the books, as well. May try to finish the series if I had the extra time to do so.

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    Wii FC: 2569 0668 1330 4703 3DS FC: 5455 9912 6458
    PSN: ani_game_bum Steam Wishlist

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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    kids have gotta learn about tekwar sometime

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  • Josiah_9Josiah_9 Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Numeros wrote: »
    Wasn't it turned into a television show too?

    Yes, I believe it was a syndicated series that eventually found it's way to USA Network on cable. Was cool to watch but didn't last long.

    I remember liking it as a guilty pleasure when I was like 12

    When a 12 year old knows your show is trash that is not a good sign.

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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    kids have gotta learn about tekwar sometime

    I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!

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  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo The toilet knows how I feelRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Where is my blue milk

    Do not have a cow, mortal.

    3DS: 2251-4432-9039

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  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The Geek wrote: »
    Futurewords created for fiction are almost universally terrible.

    When you're lit-analysing word-glyphs from your datatome, you'll change your music-sequence

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  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Where is my blue milk

    It's in the kitchen next to your charred aunt and uncle.

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  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Tek...Kill

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  • zimfanzimfan Registered User
    edited March 2011
    The Geek wrote: »
    Futurewords created for fiction are almost universally terrible.

    The first chapter of A Clockwork Orange

    it will break your brain

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  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    don't worry zim

    geek is too busy reading the novelizations of star trek episodes to worry about steampunk apples

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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    kids have gotta learn about tekwar sometime
    Can we just talk about this episode for a bit?

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  • JoonJoon Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    Well, the kids have to learn about Tekwar sooner or later.
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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    joon you are a monster

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I knew that quote wasn't perfect and I was afraid this might happen

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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    More examples of jokes I didn't get for ten years.

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    holy crap I never noticed the satanic verses

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    there's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome

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  • TleilaxuTleilaxu Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Fandyien wrote: »
    banx card - a future debit card
    (...)
    vidphone - a future cordless phone
    (...)
    servomech - one of those robots that cleans your floor, a roomba or whatever but in the future

    1. That sounds way better than BankAmericard.

    2. He's only off by two letters.

    3. This would be awesome, but we run the risk of creating Daleks:
    Spoiler:

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  • DangerousDangerous Registered User regular
    edited March 2011

    Fuck, I actually owned that game. I think it even had a picture of Bill Shatner on the box. I asked for Duke Nukem 3D but my parents got me this piece of shit because it was cheaper.

    Edit: ahaha yes.
    Spoiler:

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  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I'll see your William Shatner's TEKWAR, and raise you

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  • DangerousDangerous Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Woah woah woah. Nimoy and Asimov?!

    TRADING CARD?!!

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