Just be all "Hey I think it's the pizza!" really loudly when you hear a knock at the door, and then take a moment or two to get to the door.
Make sure your curtains are closed.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
just own it
"hey here's your money. Busy night? Me, nah I'm just gonna watch tivoed episodes of Blue Water High and envelop my dick in each slice of this pizza. Ever jerked off using pizza? It's so warm. Anyway keep the change"
"hey here's your money. Busy night? Me, nah I'm just gonna watch tivoed episodes of Blue Water High and envelop my dick in each slice of this pizza. Ever jerked off using pizza? It's so warm. Anyway keep the change"
Make sure your hand is just dripping with lotion or some other kind of lubricant.
And never take your eyes away from his.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
no no no
make sure to answer the door with a wicked boner
pat around your pants pockets pretending to look for your wallet to draw attention to it.
You should've just answered the door with a boner like pipe said.
I've done it before, I mean what was I going to do. Suddenly not have a massive boner?
People shouldn't have needed me to answer the door at 4pm in the morning. It is their own fault for waking me up.
Man this one time I'd woken up with morning wood and gone downstairs to get some water before putting clothes on. I was wearing boxers and my mum turned to me to talk to me, then looked down and then her head snapped up.
My brother and I found it pretty funny.
I am king of inappropriate boners is what I am saying.
For a while when I was thinner (it is possible) I could drop certain pairs of my pants at will. Provided my belt wasn't on too tight if I stood and slightly moved my legs they would just fall down.
When I found out I had this talent much fun was had.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
what is up with people who dont accept resumes as pdfs
they want to have it "on file" and the company probably has its own "filing system" which means they want to copy and paste stuff from your resume into their system
never mind that you can copy and paste text from a PDF ANYWAY
Posts
I'm looking forward to the next AusPax, he seems like a fun guy it'll be cool to have a drink with him.
No longer.
We are enemies.
And I really, really need a lamb cutlet
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Now I gotta work out how to make it look like I'm not the only one at home for when the pizza guy gets here
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Make sure your curtains are closed.
"hey here's your money. Busy night? Me, nah I'm just gonna watch tivoed episodes of Blue Water High and envelop my dick in each slice of this pizza. Ever jerked off using pizza? It's so warm. Anyway keep the change"
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Make sure your hand is just dripping with lotion or some other kind of lubricant.
And never take your eyes away from his.
make sure to answer the door with a wicked boner
pat around your pants pockets pretending to look for your wallet to draw attention to it.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Only boxers.
Old ones, with a fly if possible.
So enough may slip out.
As if your penis was giving a tantalising wink.
Hey there.
Jerking off to Blue Water High.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Also, you actually did some screeding the other weekend, didn't you?
Aim for the face, and don't forget to make remarks about them having your dick-cheese on them...
Not again, now that I'm a jailbird. thrown in the slammer for my pizza molestation crimes
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
This is like basic LIFE1010 shit here
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
If it's for a digital/design agency, then take that as a warning bell.
DEFINITELY NOT FUCKING PIZZA THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS
IN RETROSPECT, YES IT WAS
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I've done it before, I mean what was I going to do. Suddenly not have a massive boner?
People shouldn't have needed me to answer the door at 4pm in the morning. It is their own fault for waking me up.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I keed, I keed
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Man this one time I'd woken up with morning wood and gone downstairs to get some water before putting clothes on. I was wearing boxers and my mum turned to me to talk to me, then looked down and then her head snapped up.
My brother and I found it pretty funny.
I am king of inappropriate boners is what I am saying.
For a while when I was thinner (it is possible) I could drop certain pairs of my pants at will. Provided my belt wasn't on too tight if I stood and slightly moved my legs they would just fall down.
When I found out I had this talent much fun was had.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
they want to have it "on file" and the company probably has its own "filing system" which means they want to copy and paste stuff from your resume into their system
never mind that you can copy and paste text from a PDF ANYWAY
in other words bitches ain't know shit
you are all amazing people