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[Internet Dating] Travelling is really boring

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Posts

  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Yah, I'm running about 1000+ per myself these days. Fantastic girl. She's brilliant, she's funny, she quotes Edgar Allan Poe.

    *sigh* She lives 2000 miles away.

    I mean sure, Geography and I have always had our differences, but I didn't think it'd get personal.

    I'd be happy if I could even get a fifty word response from girls. Even if it were a rejection. Only messages I've rec'd in three months are nigerian scammers. I've gotten to be an expert at spotting them.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    SkyCaptain wrote: »
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    Yah, I'm running about 1000+ per myself these days. Fantastic girl. She's brilliant, she's funny, she quotes Edgar Allan Poe.

    *sigh* She lives 2000 miles away.

    I mean sure, Geography and I have always had our differences, but I didn't think it'd get personal.

    I'd be happy if I could even get a fifty word response from girls. Even if it were a rejection. Only messages I've rec'd in three months are nigerian scammers. I've gotten to be an expert at spotting them.

    How so?
    Most of the messages I get are if I am lucky people asking if I am really that tall or answers to the message I sent them

    I do find it annoying and fruitless that some of the girls I am interested in live far away from me and have the limit on how far someone lives from them so I doubt they even see my message.

    I doubt I can send a 50 word message but I have seen some rather long esseys to them about questions and so on

    A.jpg
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    I once sent a message to a guy with an extremely funny opening paragraph. He wasn't my type, and I could tell I wasn't his, so it was purely to comment on that. He never replied, not that I expected him to, but I hope he at least appreciated the feedback.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    So, up until yesterday, I had done no internet dating at all for months and months.

    Last night, meet up with one girl. She drove two hours to meet me, we hung out all night. She stayed over, you can guess how that went. Then she drops me off to go see another girl I was getting coffee with(though I just said she was a friend, since we haven't done anything yet).

    I meet girl two for a while, but have to leave after about an hour to get to work. She wants to hang out again, and we've both been pretty blunt about just wanting a FWB situation with each other.

    Girl one is coming back, to see me at work, then hang out tonight again. Internet dating is pretty awesome.

    Both girls are cute, nerdy, and into me. Although it was really awkward when I was getting coffee with girl two, and her parents happened to be there getting coffee. We decided to take a walk after that :P

    Check out my new EP at http://etreraps.bandcamp.com
  • VideotapeVideotape Registered User regular
    Raslin, how did you get a girl to drive two hours to meet you? If I could do that, I'd be set. There's so many more interesting people hours away from me.

    But seriously, I've only ever met one girl on okcupid and we dated for a few months, but now that I am back on the market I think it's time to update my profile. I just added some new photos that hopefully won't scare the ladies away. Input, please? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Male__Nurse/

  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    Videotape wrote: »
    Raslin, how did you get a girl to drive two hours to meet you? If I could do that, I'd be set. There's so many more interesting people hours away from me.

    But seriously, I've only ever met one girl on okcupid and we dated for a few months, but now that I am back on the market I think it's time to update my profile. I just added some new photos that hopefully won't scare the ladies away. Input, please? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Male__Nurse/

    Great question! I have no idea. The girl wanted to hang out, and I told her I wasn't mobile at the moment. So she offered to come out here. To be fair, it's closer to an hour, but traffic was bad.

    Check out my new EP at http://etreraps.bandcamp.com
  • VideotapeVideotape Registered User regular
    Oklahoma City is about an hour away... This gives me hope.

  • rizriz Registered User regular
    It probably helps if you live somewhere that she would like to hang out, like if you live near a city and she lives near but not THAT near said city, more of a destination thing than driving two hours to some other bumblefuck town.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle sometimes a boy just needs to get out of the house and meet some girls Registered User regular
    You lied to a girl who you had just met and slept with so she'd drop you off on a date with another girl?

    And you want us to... congratulate you...?

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    steam_sig.png
    If faith is just a silent tribute, mine is just a desperate act.
  • SloSlo Registered User regular
    You lied to a girl who you had just met and slept with so she'd drop you off on a date with another girl?

    And you want us to... congratulate you...?

    Young men have deep self confidence issues.

    Its a fact!

  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    I didn't lie. This girl was closer to friend than anything else currently. I got a ride because it was on her way, and I would have had to had her leave earlier otherwise. And one successful date doesn't mean were in a committed relationship.

    Check out my new EP at http://etreraps.bandcamp.com
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    Yeah, but the crazy hijinx of a sitcom didn't happen.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • milehighmilehigh Registered User regular
    Baggage really makes things hard at this age (26), it seems like all the girls I'm currently talking to are validating my legitimacy against whoever messed with their head in the past, though maybe I'm doing the same subconsciously. I can only imagine how difficult dating is for people older than me. Though I'd like to think as you get older you get more accepting of the fact that everyone's had problems...

    On a separate note, I had a wonderful date today with the art teacher, went from lunch until an hour ago, and I think things are going to have to go one way or the other with the other girl I'm seeing. I'm pretty intrigued by both. Guess it's a good problem to have, but it's still a problem. I'd like to be in a position to just casually date around, but I'm not sure my mind accomodates that (I don't really know how to not head straight for a relationship), and right now none of these women seem interested in anything other than that either.

  • CorvusCorvus Caw? VancouverRegistered User regular
    I'm in my mid 30s, and generally meeting girls in their late 20s or closer to my age, and yeah, there is baggage with some but many people also have put alot of their early 20's angst and stuff behind them.

  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    So I'm a bit new to this whole online dating thing. I'm still working on completing my profile, but I would like some constructive criticism on what I have so far. So if you have a spare moment, take a look at my profile and tell me what you think.

    Pokemans FC (Black): 4598 9449 8185
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    Lv 85 Tauren Shaman Lv 85 Worgen Druid
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    milehigh wrote: »
    Baggage really makes things hard at this age (26), it seems like all the girls I'm currently talking to are validating my legitimacy against whoever messed with their head in the past, though maybe I'm doing the same subconsciously. I can only imagine how difficult dating is for people older than me. Though I'd like to think as you get older you get more accepting of the fact that everyone's had problems...

    Hah. I actually think about things like this a lot lately. Partly due to most recent ex having issues with my issues, of having been deceived a lot in the past. Also how as I get older (I'm 29) the more likely it is that people I meet might have had past marriages, kids, maybe even dead spouses.

    Well, I mean, hopefully just the one dead spouse, if any. More than that and I might have to wonder.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • Onslaught_FeiOnslaught_Fei Registered User
    Zython wrote: »
    So I'm a bit new to this whole online dating thing. I'm still working on completing my profile, but I would like some constructive criticism on what I have so far. So if you have a spare moment, take a look at my profile and tell me what you think.

    Needs more unique things and more humor. Read other guys profiles in your area and look at the competition. Most of them will fucking suck. Also need more pictures. Preferably charming ones.

    XBL: Onslaught Fei
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Zython wrote: »
    So I'm a bit new to this whole online dating thing. I'm still working on completing my profile, but I would like some constructive criticism on what I have so far. So if you have a spare moment, take a look at my profile and tell me what you think.
    I find myself the most comfortable with a small number of people, rather than large crowds. I like making people laugh. And finally, as you can see from this summary, I'm not a good writer.
    Re-write this to be more positive and less self-deprecating. Remove the part about not being good.
    6) You <3
    Get rid of that.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    milehigh wrote: »
    Baggage really makes things hard at this age (26), it seems like all the girls I'm currently talking to are validating my legitimacy against whoever messed with their head in the past, though maybe I'm doing the same subconsciously. I can only imagine how difficult dating is for people older than me. Though I'd like to think as you get older you get more accepting of the fact that everyone's had problems...

    Hah. I actually think about things like this a lot lately. Partly due to most recent ex having issues with my issues, of having been deceived a lot in the past. Also how as I get older (I'm 29) the more likely it is that people I meet might have had past marriages, kids, maybe even dead spouses.

    Well, I mean, hopefully just the one dead spouse, if any. More than that and I might have to wonder.

    I am 35 I met a bunch of girls last year that were getting past nasty marriages {one girl I did go out with had a rule about being a practice date? I really did not know what it was but she talked about it for a hour.} A lot of women who had childern in thier teens and so on. A lot of them had tons of baggage to start with it really bothered me they put it all out there to begin with.

    A.jpg
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    Yeahh. I mean. It's one thing to have issues, and you do need to talk to the person you're getting more involved with about certain things, but you don't need to lay it all out in your OKC profile or on the first date.

    Zython: Definitely need to get more personal. The only thing I'm getting from that is you're in school and you really like computers. But what else do you like, what makes you excited, what makes you happy, what do you want to do with your life. Think of how you would reply to your own profile. There's not much there for someone to reply to or ask questions about to start a conversation.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    this the one

    this is what I'm writing in latin on the family crest

    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com
  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    Alright, thanks for the advice. Made those removals SkyCaptain suggested. And I'll take a look at other profiles and think hard about what to add. Again, thanks a ton.

    Pokemans FC (Black): 4598 9449 8185
    (Soul Silver): 4383 4318 1528
    Lv 85 Tauren Shaman Lv 85 Worgen Druid
  • Rorus RazRorus Raz C'est Waa Vie Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    I see many profiles that are one sentence for each section. Perhaps they think they'll coast on looks alone (and some are quite attractive, but not all), but that feels like walking into a void.

    57SICde.png
  • milehighmilehigh Registered User regular
    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    Heh, I debated someone on “it can’t be creepy if it was in a romantic comedy” angle a few weeks ago. :lol:

    So, with my schedule as busy as it is, I'm pretty much extended to max capacity as far as meeting people in person, and things are going well with the girls I've been talking to. However I still am getting some messages from new, seemingly awesome girls as well as a few girls who are just getting back to me from weeks ago.

    Is it bad practice to startup new conversations with new people when I'm already thouroughly booked up and probably not going to have any time for awhile? Part of me says that things could dry up and I'll wish I'd initiated a dialogue, the other part of me feels like I'm being deceptive...Like I'm lining up a backlog of women.

    Finally, any thoughts on the quality of this picture would be appreciated. I think I look tired or medicated (it was taken early morning), but a friend of mine thought it was good.
    Spoiler:

  • milehighmilehigh Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    I see many profiles that are one sentence for each section. Perhaps they think they'll coast on looks alone (and some are quite attractive, but not all), but that feels like walking into a void.

    It shocked me how many profiles there were like this when I first got on, and they had like one generic picture. I don't know how you message someone when they literally have no information about themselves. It's like approaching someone in person, but without anything to go on (not even a shared environment like the bus/mall/grocery store to comment on) I guess you could comment on OKC in general, but I'd assume they get more along the lines of "Hey what's up, how was your weekend" type stuff.

  • LaliluleloLalilulelo Registered User regular
    milehigh wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    Heh, I debated someone on “it can’t be creepy if it was in a romantic comedy” angle a few weeks ago. :lol:

    So, with my schedule as busy as it is, I'm pretty much extended to max capacity as far as meeting people in person, and things are going well with the girls I've been talking to. However I still am getting some messages from new, seemingly awesome girls as well as a few girls who are just getting back to me from weeks ago.

    Is it bad practice to startup new conversations with new people when I'm already thouroughly booked up and probably not going to have any time for awhile? Part of me says that things could dry up and I'll wish I'd initiated a dialogue, the other part of me feels like I'm being deceptive...Like I'm lining up a backlog of women.

    Finally, any thoughts on the quality of this picture would be appreciated. I think I look tired or medicated (it was taken early morning), but a friend of mine thought it was good.

    Spoiler:

    Damn what's your secret? Also, picture is fine. But you probably have better pictures, so no need to fill it up with ones that aren't high quality.

    I can't seem to get any real responses or momentum building up. HALP.

    STRONGHOLD. THE WEBCOMIC. Monday - Friday
    Art is not an abstracted ideal, and does not exist for its own sake in its own world.
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    Wow.

    OKC is ACTION PACKED with single moms around my area.

    Google+ | Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • milehighmilehigh Registered User regular
    Lalilulelo wrote: »
    milehigh wrote: »
    Malkor wrote: »
    It's not lying if it's the plot to a sit-com.

    Heh, I debated someone on “it can’t be creepy if it was in a romantic comedy” angle a few weeks ago. :lol:

    So, with my schedule as busy as it is, I'm pretty much extended to max capacity as far as meeting people in person, and things are going well with the girls I've been talking to. However I still am getting some messages from new, seemingly awesome girls as well as a few girls who are just getting back to me from weeks ago.

    Is it bad practice to startup new conversations with new people when I'm already thouroughly booked up and probably not going to have any time for awhile? Part of me says that things could dry up and I'll wish I'd initiated a dialogue, the other part of me feels like I'm being deceptive...Like I'm lining up a backlog of women.

    Finally, any thoughts on the quality of this picture would be appreciated. I think I look tired or medicated (it was taken early morning), but a friend of mine thought it was good.

    Spoiler:

    Damn what's your secret? Also, picture is fine. But you probably have better pictures, so no need to fill it up with ones that aren't high quality.

    I can't seem to get any real responses or momentum building up. HALP.

    You're profile looks really solid, it's well written and lots of unique and interesting stuff. As for my situation, I attribute it to pure numbers.. I messaged in gross amounts the first week I was on the site. Probably 60 or so girls. I lost track but was sending 5-10 short (specific, not generic) messages every day for awhile, just to see what happened. Out of those, I think 14 contacted me with some type of reply, contact with 6 of them dropped off and I successfully asked 4 of them out, out of those, 2 of them have promise with a third looking like a friend and the fourth being a bit too intense, but I'm giving her a shot.

    Based on that I got a general reply rate of about 23%, a meaningful reply rate of 6%, and a promising reply rate of 3%. So yeah, things failed on me 97% of the time. Quantity equals quality perhaps, just keep trying, really it only takes one to work and you instantly forget about all the rest.

  • LaliluleloLalilulelo Registered User regular
    I feel you on that. Gotta just carpet bomb the whole damn site and hit... somethin'

    STRONGHOLD. THE WEBCOMIC. Monday - Friday
    Art is not an abstracted ideal, and does not exist for its own sake in its own world.
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    Date went well. I enjoyed the restaurant. Spent the night at her house. Had sex a few times. I'm still not sure if I want to date her.

  • CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    That girl I mentioned checked out my profile Friday but didn't respond back. But as you guys were just saying, I should be sending out a lot more messages. It sure doesn't seem like there's a short of cute liberal girls in Seattle, despite what my non-OkCupid life would have suggested.

    But damn, I responded to some moronic post by a random guy. I knew I shouldn't have, but the stupid was so burning I had to get it out of my skull and now it doesn't look like there's a way for me to delete what I said. Hopefully it'll just mean that there's some douchebag in Las Vegas who hates me now and nothing more will come of it.

    The libertarian response to anything is, "Sure, that works fine in practice, but it doesn't fly in theory."
  • Rorus RazRorus Raz C'est Waa Vie Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    So I apparently when I was tweaking my profile via the phone app, I manage to change my sexuality to Bi or Gay.

    Oh god.

    The area is like a hotbed of gay activity or something. I've had enough visitors from guys to give the numbers for my female visitors over the past three years some competition. Did not expect that, considering I live in the south. Very awesome.

    57SICde.png
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    Yes, Seattle is filled to the brim with Liberals...which makes dating a little difficult for us Conservatives.

  • milehighmilehigh Registered User regular
    Lalilulelo wrote: »
    I feel you on that. Gotta just carpet bomb the whole damn site and hit... somethin'

    Pretty much, honestly if I hadn't messaged these two particular girls, I'd have some serious self doubt and a very pessimistic attitude right now.

    I'm also curious as to how real world numbers would compare. I've never really been one to approach unknown women, generally finding my dates in shared social circles and work/school, but I'm wondering if my success rate would be better with random approaches. I guess if things dry up I might have to start collecting data on that front :lol:

  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    So I apparently when I was tweaking my profile via the phone app, I manage to change my sexuality to Bi or Gay.

    Oh god.

    The area is like a hotbed of gay activity or something. I've had enough visitors from guys to give the numbers for my female visitors over the past three years some competition. Did not expect that, considering I live in the south. Very awesome.

    That's rather amusing.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck Registered User regular
    Yes, Seattle is filled to the brim with Liberals...which makes dating a little difficult for us Conservatives.

    Why, do you feel like you have to agree with your girlfriend? :O

    WSc4j.png
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    milehigh wrote: »
    Lalilulelo wrote: »
    I feel you on that. Gotta just carpet bomb the whole damn site and hit... somethin'

    Pretty much, honestly if I hadn't messaged these two particular girls, I'd have some serious self doubt and a very pessimistic attitude right now.

    I'm also curious as to how real world numbers would compare. I've never really been one to approach unknown women, generally finding my dates in shared social circles and work/school, but I'm wondering if my success rate would be better with random approaches. I guess if things dry up I might have to start collecting data on that front :lol:

    I have hit on women generally outside of the areas I am familar with but asking the ones I know personally and work with has been a disastor I wish never to repeat

    My profile in OKC is a mess so I think that is why I generally get more questions and looks than dates there

    The problem I have with messaging and getting a reply is what now? then the usual well that was fun and the general bordem of doing it
    It does not help I tend to strike up conversations with women there that live far away from me.

    As for the baggage I know people have it just laying all out there on the first date is depressing and making me want to bolt at times

    A.jpg
  • LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    I think I'm the only person in Seattle who doesn't rave about how much they love hiking/biking/the outdoors in their profile. :?

  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    LadyM wrote: »
    I think I'm the only person in Seattle who doesn't rave about how much they love hiking/biking/the outdoors in their profile. :?

    In my spare time, I like to stay indoors. It's kind of a niche thing, you've probably never heard of it.

    Cambiata wrote: »
    You know what this thread needs? Some Turian porn.
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