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get a job filling daric's holes (DOUBLE ENTENDRE) [JOB THREAD] {BRACKETS}

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Posts

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2011
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hello job thread

    Got me some reflux related insomnias tonight

    Mmmhmmm fat people problems

    maalox

  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2011
  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ubik wrote: »
    we're all immigrants from the space rock that planted the seeds of life here on earth

    I need the above printed on the front of a T-shirt.

    And on the back of that T-shirt : KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

    Oh hey, I might be getting a job tomorrow with either Starbucks or (for basically the same money) a home to home care worker.

  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Living Proof That Sometimes Friends Are Mean.Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    i am loving my new job. it is a good thing i have two days off in a row because it is difficult to be a waiter when you are losing your voice. somebody tell me how to fix my throat problems please

    OWQbJgI.png
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2011
    i am loving my new job. it is a good thing i have two days off in a row because it is difficult to be a waiter when you are losing your voice. somebody tell me how to fix my throat problems please

    chamomile tea with honey

  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    i am loving my new job. it is a good thing i have two days off in a row because it is difficult to be a waiter when you are losing your voice. somebody tell me how to fix my throat problems please
    Gargle semen

    Then

    Google 'how do i fix throat problems'

    nipplessig.jpg
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2011
  • UsagiUsagi WOMP WOMPRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hello job thread

    Got me some reflux related insomnias tonight

    Mmmhmmm fat people problems

    maalox

    Working the zantac + melatonin one-two punch, but thanks duder

    Jormungandr? Damn near killed 'er!
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Koshian wrote: »
    put a doo doo in your mouth - laugh at my post
    oh yeah this one works too

    nipplessig.jpg
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Living Proof That Sometimes Friends Are Mean.Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Houk wrote: »
    i am loving my new job. it is a good thing i have two days off in a row because it is difficult to be a waiter when you are losing your voice. somebody tell me how to fix my throat problems please
    Gargle semen

    Then

    Google 'how do i fix throat problems'

    way ahead of you

    OWQbJgI.png
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Living Proof That Sometimes Friends Are Mean.Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    i am loving my new job. it is a good thing i have two days off in a row because it is difficult to be a waiter when you are losing your voice. somebody tell me how to fix my throat problems please

    chamomile tea with honey

    i will see if we have some thanks

    OWQbJgI.png
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    As a serious answer, if the problem persists, also pick up some honey cough drops. They're good to keep on you during work hours when you might not have time to grab a cup of tea. A bunch of our voice actors consistently swear by them. There's some brand they all love but I can't remember what it is. Pretty much anything honey is the way to go

    nipplessig.jpg
  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Anything hot + honey = throat feel better.

    I like lemon juice + water + honey.

  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Anything hot + honey = throat feel better.

    I like lemon juice + water + honey.
    I tried this exact combination when I had super awful throat infection, and it kind of made me want to puke

    I think I'm kind of broken, taste-wise

    nipplessig.jpg
  • UbikUbik i am a god in a french-ass restaurantRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    a warm saltwater gargle?

    that's what i was prescribed one time for a sore/dry throat

    CleezusSig_zpsfa821add.png
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Living Proof That Sometimes Friends Are Mean.Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Ubik wrote: »
    a warm saltwater gargle?

    that's what i was prescribed one time for a sore/dry throat

    i have gargled enough warm salty things for one night if you catch my drift

    OWQbJgI.png
  • KochikensKochikens Lovely-Cuddle-Blanket-Stephen-Fry-Awesomer Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Houk wrote: »
    Anything hot + honey = throat feel better.

    I like lemon juice + water + honey.
    I tried this exact combination when I had super awful throat infection, and it kind of made me want to puke

    I think I'm kind of broken, taste-wise

    i too nearly puked from this

  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Man... I love being a dual citizen.

    It is like having two cakes and getting to eat both of them at the same time.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I am involved in what is going to be a new world record.

    Can't say what it is though.

    Other than we are going to take that record back off the Canadians

  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Blake, Is it being the most polite? Or having the most unlocked doors?

    Because we sort of have those two pretty locked down.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • KochikensKochikens Lovely-Cuddle-Blanket-Stephen-Fry-Awesomer Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Blake T wrote: »
    I am involved in what is going to be a new world record.

    Can't say what it is though.

    Other than we are going to take that record back off the Canadians

    fuuuuuck
    yoouuu

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    No it is not, thankyou very much.

    Oh wait! Now we have another!

  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Nobody is more polite than us northerners. When you apologize for someone stepping on your foot, than you will know our plight.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kochikens wrote: »
    Blake T wrote: »
    I am involved in what is going to be a new world record.

    Can't say what it is though.

    Other than we are going to take that record back off the Canadians

    fuuuuuck
    yoouuu

    Well maybe you shouldn't have sat on your mystery laurels.

    The numbers we are dealing with are crazy big though. Significantly more than the previous record.

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Nobody is more polite than us northerners. When you apologize for someone stepping on your foot, than you will know our plight.

    How I Met Your Mother has also taught me that you are supposed to offer them a doughnut also.

    Also you have the record of most number of homes invaded by micheal moore in a single day.

  • ScudoScudo Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    today I had to check my bank account to see if I could afford a $4 sandwich

    not like, to see if it would be in my budget

    I honestly was not sure if I had greater than four dollars to my name

    (I did, I had seven)

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Dunno how the US IRA system works, but in Australia 9% of your wage is automatically deducted and paid into your superannuation fund. I pay an extra 11% on that so I can build my little nest egg quicker. You also get taxed at a lower rate if the money's in a a superfund which is nice.

    It doesn't apply for me, but we also have a system in which the Government will pay $1.00 for each $1.00 contributed up to a maximum of $1,000 and is reduced by 5 cents for each dollar of your income above $31,920cutting out at $61,920. While it's not super-huge, it's still not bad if you're a low to middle income earner.

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2011
    finally managed to bang out and send off my writeup for the volunteer event i covered

    bluhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    good to have it done, though.

  • DarricDarric Santa MonicaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    ITT: People making very defamatory typos. :(

  • DarricDarric Santa MonicaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Also, my new job is awesome.

  • ASimPersonASimPerson And protect them from the evils of the world like trigonometry and prime numbers.Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tef wrote: »
    Dunno how the US IRA system works, but in Australia 9% of your wage is automatically deducted and paid into your superannuation fund. I pay an extra 11% on that so I can build my little nest egg quicker. You also get taxed at a lower rate if the money's in a a superfund which is nice.

    The "Social Security tax" (FICA) is usually about 6% (it's adjusted for consumer prices on a year-to-year basis) of the first $106,000 or so you earn, though this year there is a tax holiday and the rate is only 4.2%. Upon retirement after the age of 65 or permanent disability, the government sends you a check every month.

    Outside of that, there's a complicated series investments you can choose from. Usually what you pick depends on what tax benefits you want to take advantage of. Many full-time jobs offer "401(k) matching", where the company will match an employee's contribution to the fund (which is in the stock market) up to a certain amount per year. 401(k) refers to the section of the tax code the fund is in - most people have their 401(k) funds contributed pre-tax, which means that disbursements are taxed when you withdraw the funds (because you will presumably be earning less when you retire), however, the interest earned by the funds is never taxed. Since the company matches some portion of your contributions, people generally use these even if they still end up paying taxes on them after retirement.

    Past that, you can then make contributions to other types of IRAs, depending on how you want to deal with the tax consequences. The two most common are traditional and Roth IRAs. The former uses pretax funds like a 401(k), and so withdrawals are subject to taxation. The latter uses after-tax dollars, so disbursements are not taxable, however, there is a limit to how much you can contribute per year.

    Anyway, that's the very basic version of the US retirement funds. It's pretty complicated and is not without its controversies.

    That last sentence may be the understatement of the year.

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    SE++ Forum Battle Archive | PST = Pacific Standard Time | DRUNKSTUCK: A Homestuck recap
  • FishmanFishman I find your lack of Hail Hydra! disturbingRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Houk wrote: »
    Koshian wrote: »
    oh boy, is it time for the oppression olympics again
    I'm just trying to give you an example of how you could be worse off to maybe make you feel a little better!!?

    Subtle. Kudos.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    not looking forward to paying $2.5k in taxes next week.

    Oh well, this should hopefully be the last year for a long time I'll have to pay in at the end of the year.

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    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User
    edited April 2011
    I'm glad I came in an hour early to set up for a meeting that was supposed to start 15 minutes ago but no one is here.

  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I'm glad I came in an hour early to set up for a meeting that was supposed to start 15 minutes ago but no one is here.

    Just stare at the motivational poster of the kitty hangin' in there for a moment, and then get back to work

  • bowenbowen Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Holy shit, first day in 6 months I got to work early.

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Way to be an inspiration to us all Bowen.

    Now show the man by surfing the internet until work starts then go take a shit on the companies dime.

  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User
    edited April 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm glad I came in an hour early to set up for a meeting that was supposed to start 15 minutes ago but no one is here.

    Just stare at the motivational poster of the kitty hangin' in there for a moment, and then get back to work

    At the moment I have no work to do and no one else is in. I think I'll take this time to let my recruiter know she needs to find me a replacement because I'm leaving for Habitat, my dream job of bringing down property values around the country.

  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    I'm glad I came in an hour early to set up for a meeting that was supposed to start 15 minutes ago but no one is here.

    Just stare at the motivational poster of the kitty hangin' in there for a moment, and then get back to work

    At the moment I have no work to do and no one else is in. I think I'll take this time to let my recruiter know she needs to find me a replacement because I'm leaving for Habitat, my dream job of bringing down property values around the country.

    KellyHabitat_jpg_630x1200_upscale_q85.jpg

  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    What in the sweet fuck are you people doing to the job thread?!

    Enough already, jesus christ.

    snap02869.jpg "zip, i dunno what it is about you, but there's something very cat-like about your face. i can't really place it. like, a puma or something. you'd make a good mountain lion."
This discussion has been closed.