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America, You're Fucking Gay

Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong LoveRegistered User regular
America you're a fucking liar and I'm sick of your bullshit. You get real quiet when I ask questions, or point towards the internet. The Internet is one of your machinations and that's a lie too. The cake is a lie is a joke from the popular video game Portal, made by Valve. Valve's in Washington, and Washington is Really Fucking Gay.

That said, it came to my attention that there's not much in the way (that I noticed, anyhow) of a really solid Gay American History. The most I know is that a riot happened in San Francisco and that somebody got real pissed in the 70's or something and shot Gay Sean Penn.

I need to learn, America. I don't got no school paper, and fuck Google. I want to know how gay you've been and for how long.

We need a gay history class.

Anjin-San on
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Posts

  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    Ben Franklin used to cornhole Thomas Jefferson

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  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    I heard they came from the television box

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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Many famous structures in Washing DC such as the White House have a distinctly Grecian aesthetic.

    And the Ancient Greeks were well gay

    yeah that's pretty much it

  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Many famous structures in Washing DC such as the White House has a distinctly Grecian aesthetic.

    And the Ancient Greeks were well gay

    yeah that's pretty much it

    and let's not forget that the Washington Monument is a penis

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase It's all in the game though, right?Registered User, ClubPA regular
    and the jefferson monument looks like 2 dudes in a 69 position when viewed from above, like maybe from a blimp or hot air balloon.

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  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    I'll keep an eye out for that next time I'm in my hot air balloon over DC.

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  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    It's tough to see because of the viewing angle, but Giant Stone Lincoln is pitching a circus-sized tent in the Lincoln Memorial.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    I think it makes sense

    American are known for repressing such inclinations

    so they express them covertly through their state architecture

    A well known avenue for venting frustration, that is.

  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's tough to see because of the viewing angle, but Giant Stone Lincoln is pitching a circus-sized tent in the Lincoln Memorial.

    What's gay about that? I hope the stone likeness of me features a raging erection for all time.

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase It's all in the game though, right?Registered User, ClubPA regular
    If you rearrange the letters in "Empire State Building" it spells out "I am Super Gay"

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  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    It's tough to see because of the viewing angle, but Giant Stone Lincoln is pitching a circus-sized tent in the Lincoln Memorial.

    What's gay about that? I hope the stone likeness of me features a raging erection for all time.

    Well, he's staring at Washington's gigantic Boner.

  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    Wasn't Lincoln a repressed homosexual and he married a crazy woman as his beard

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  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    Wasn't Lincoln a repressed homosexual and he married a crazy woman as his beard

    I think he just grew a beard.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    Teddy Roosevelt is also history's greatest bear

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  • darklite_xdarklite_x I can't find Turner and HoochRegistered User regular
    The fact is, we never revolted over lack of representation or religious persecution. America revolted over the right to cornhole our best bro without facing the Council of Morality or paying 70% tax markups on The Queen's Royal Dark Chocolate Massage Oil.

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    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37
  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    Teddy Roosevelt is also history's greatest bear

    FACT: The "Teddy Bear" was named after Teddy Roosevelt because of his LOVE OF BEAR MEAT, and the fact that he was covered in fur.

    FACT: Teddy Roosevelt and his son Kermit explored Brazil's River of Doubt. When they were done with it, it was renamed the RIVER OF UNQUESTIONABLE CERTAINTY.

    FACT: Teddy Roosevelt named his son "Kermit." THAT SHOWED HIM!

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    The Washington Monument was made for the ladies.

    Hello, ladies.

  • darklite_xdarklite_x I can't find Turner and HoochRegistered User regular
    Stop it you guys, you're getting me all hot and bothered over a monument. A big slab of solid, hulking, erect power.

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    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37
  • RoloRolo Registered User regular
    what the fuck is up with america repealing gay marriage laws

    why do the shitty backwater states get to keep discriminating aganst people by law

    this should have been a scotus decision 30 years ago

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote: »
    what the fuck is up with america repealing gay marriage laws

    why do the shitty backwater states get to keep discriminating aganst people by law

    this should have been a scotus decision 30 years ago

    There was one 30 years ago (more or less). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowers_v._Hardwick

    It didn't go well.

  • Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    the defense of marraige act, rolo

    because putting your dick inside another dude's anus or doing weird stuff with each others twats nullifies abrahamic definition of marraige

    simple day one shit

    didn't you go to school

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote: »
    what the fuck is up with america repealing gay marriage laws

    why do the shitty backwater states get to keep discriminating aganst people by law

    this should have been a scotus decision 30 years ago

    Yeah I have always thought this

    Like

    This is straight up discrimination man

    I thought that shit was unconstitution

  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User
    The war against consenting adults must never, ever stop

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  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote: »
    what the fuck is up with america repealing gay marriage laws

    why do the shitty backwater states get to keep discriminating aganst people by law

    this should have been a scotus decision 30 years ago

    I've always wondered about this myself. Like when I was still on active duty a few months back, they were working on repealing DADT, and dudes were all up in arms because "I DON'T WANT NO F**S IN MY UNIT!" Which lead me to think "Substitute "black" for F** and think how terrible that sounds. That's how you sound right now."

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  • darklite_xdarklite_x I can't find Turner and HoochRegistered User regular
    I don't believe in it, but I'll fight to the death for your right to discriminate against the gays.

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    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37
  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
    America is faaaabulous!

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  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    darklite_x wrote: »
    I don't believe in it, but I'll fight to the death for your right to discriminate against the gays.

    Made me think of this. My favorite part of the video was this bit of exchange: ‎"If only there was an organization sworn to defend that free speech!" "Wouldn't that be great?"

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  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Stop it you guys, you're getting me all hot and bothered over a monument. A big slab of solid, hulking, erect power.

    nothing in washington dc is allowed to be bigger than the washington monument

    america is kind of insecure

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ButtersButters Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote: »
    what the fuck is up with america repealing gay marriage laws

    why do the shitty backwater states get to keep discriminating aganst people by law

    this should have been a scotus decision 30 years ago

    Unfortunately marriage is not a right in this country so it's difficult to challenge state authorities when they place limitations on marriage privileges.

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    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    there is no gay history aside from druhim here

    take a second

    let it soak if you need some time

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    AMP'd wrote: »
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Stop it you guys, you're getting me all hot and bothered over a monument. A big slab of solid, hulking, erect power.

    nothing in washington dc is allowed to be bigger than the washington monument

    america is kind of insecure

    Just give it a few years

    Clinton_Monument.jpg

  • Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    make an amendment defining it as a right

    marraige as a legally binding contract between two +18 humans

  • Anjin-SanAnjin-San That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    solved all your problems, bitchy america

    now tell me gay facts

  • darklite_xdarklite_x I can't find Turner and HoochRegistered User regular
    Why are we stipulating age now? Back in my day (the 1500s) we married at 13 and we LIKED it.

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    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    make an amendment defining it as a right

    marraige as a legally binding contract between two +18 humans

    Yeah that should be a thing

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    Amendments are way harder to pass than a simple DOMA repeal.

    Plus the SCOTUS precedent does treat marriage as a fundamental right (Loving v. Virginia, others). Doesn't mean Scalia et al won't weasel out of following precedent without breaking a sweat, but it is there.

  • PeccaviPeccavi You are all weirdos!Registered User regular
    I still have trouble believing that NOM, the Rainbow Coalition, is against gay marriages.

  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Peccavi wrote: »
    I still have trouble believing that NOM, the Rainbow Coalition, is against gay marriages.

    Unfortunately, it's not really that uncommon for groups that are advocating for their own rights to completely fail to see the hypocrisy in trying to deny another group their human rights just because they don't approve of them.

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  • ButtersButters Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Amendments are way harder to pass than a simple DOMA repeal.

    Plus the SCOTUS precedent does treat marriage as a fundamental right (Loving v. Virginia, others). Doesn't mean Scalia et al won't weasel out of following precedent without breaking a sweat, but it is there.

    Maybe it does but it's obviously not treated as such when a marriage is subject to a license and approval from a judge.

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    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • PeccaviPeccavi You are all weirdos!Registered User regular
    Druhim wrote: »
    Peccavi wrote: »
    I still have trouble believing that NOM, the Rainbow Coalition, is against gay marriages.

    Unfortunately, it's not really that uncommon for groups that are advocating for their own rights to completely fail to see the hypocrisy in trying to deny another group their human rights just because they don't approve of them.

    It's more disbelief that they would pick the name NOM, and also call themselves "A rainbow coalition." That just sounds like a troll faux-conservative group, like what Colbert does.

This discussion has been closed.