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[Internet Dating] 'It built character.' - But only after you get them dates!!

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Posts

  • iowaiowa Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    riz wrote: »
    Hamurabi wrote: »
    In any event, my target demo -- women -- wear body-fat much better than men. I actually really prefer women with a little meat on their bones.

    I constantly struggle with this. I'm not massively obese, but I am overweight. I'm sure more of you here than not would write me off to the "message from a fatty" category, but at the same time I've dated plenty of people who had no issue with it, preferred it, thought I was plenty sexy. And I know that I personally look at profiles and dismiss the too-skinny people and prefer slightly overweight ones, and I'm not the only one. But it's still extremely difficult to get the "he's just settling" or "maybe he's only replying because my pictures are less realistic than I realize" kind of thoughts out of my head.

    I remember reading an article about those porn watching statistics that were recently released which found that most men have a 'bbw' fetish pretty much.

    the 'fatty' response is mostly due to social pressure. of course morbidly obese people aren't too attractive but a little meat on the bone andor a big ass is pretty awesome. it's frustrating that voluptuous girls have such a lack of confidence and are perpetually suspicious of dudes.

    you man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars
    http://steamcommunity.com/id/iowa
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  • HamurabiHamurabi Cambridge, MARegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    It also varies by culture.

    WARNING: ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE INCOMING

    Having grown in a Hispanic enclave of a Hispanic region (Hialeah, in South Florida), I can tell you that Hispanic men really prefer more voluptuous women, and that Hispanic women aren't at all ashamed of having curves. (Of course, all this confidence leads to some women wearing clothing that, erm, doesn't quite suit them, but that's a separate discussion.)

    All the black dudes I've known are after heavier-than-average women too. I don't just mean women with a lotta junk in the trunk or what have you, but actual heavyset women.

    EDIT: In my (limited) experience, it's really just white dudes (and as a result, white women) who feel women need to be rail thin to be "fit." Of course, white men basically control the media, so that's also the image the culture at large is exposed to.

  • LearnedHandLearnedHand Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    maybe your profile isn't interesting, dude.

    Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.

    Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".

    So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.

    When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.

    Spoiler:
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    maybe your profile isn't interesting, dude.

    Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.

    Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".

    So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.

    When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.

    i dunno what to tell you

    i'm not a published writer, english is my second language, i'm probably no more handsome than you... and my city (philadelphia) is markedly smaller than london

    it works for some of us, though

    i've met a bunch of girls from OKC (i've never used match or PoF) and never once felt like i was settling because it's the internet

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  • LucidLucid Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty.
    I don't mean this as an insult, but none of this really comes across in your posts and sometimes the opposite is apparent. If your profile is anything like what you post here, then I'd have a hard time seeing the brilliance.

    It really seems more like you can't understand why other people don't find you as awesome as you think you are. The wrong kind of confidence, so to speak. This is probably why Organichu has more success, because as I've seen in his posts over the years, he comes across as confident without the burden of arrogance.

    No museum needs another upside-down toilet bowl once it has one.
  • HamurabiHamurabi Cambridge, MARegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I can attest that it's not that heavy a burden. :P

  • LearnedHandLearnedHand Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    i'm not a published writer, english is my second language, i'm probably no more handsome than you... and my city (philadelphia) is markedly smaller than london

    After searching Philadelphia and the 25 mile radius on Plentyoffish, I've discovered where the confusion lies. Much better looking women there.

    I just checked for Asian women because I know what London's Plentyoffish has on offer for Asian women. And while there's only two and a half pages of Asian women online in the past 24 hours in Philadelphia as opposed to a whopping 25 pages in London, I believe there are more "attractive" (in my estimation) in Philadelphia than in London. Plentyoffish-wise, anyway.

    I mean, most of the women in Philadelphia were "attractive" (in my estimation). But for London...there are some but they're few and far between. And there were even some genuine "hotties" for Philadelphia. London is totally bereft of Asian "hotties" (on Plentyoffish).

    It's interesting and I can't explain it. I'd imagine that most of the Asian women in Philadelphia would be Americans whereas in London, they're mostly...you know...from Asia. So I don't know...maybe this is a factor. Different diets and hygiene standards and whatever.

    I refuse to use OkCupid but I'd imagine it's much the same. But the name is stupid and I don't like their obsession with "hot chicks" and whatever. It's alienating. So non-"hot chicks" can't use OkCupid? Believe me, for what little browsing I did there, they're still able to sign up. But it is really insulting and childish, superficial nonsense.
    I don't mean this as an insult but you're a big doody head and I don't like you.

    Well, at least you didn't mean it as an insult.

    Spoiler:
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i'm not sure what you mean about certain women being discouraged from using okc

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  • PellaeonPellaeon Registered User regular
    edited May 2011

    I refuse to use OkCupid but I'd imagine it's much the same. But the name is stupid and I don't like their obsession with "hot chicks" and whatever. It's alienating. So non-"hot chicks" can't use OkCupid? Believe me, for what little browsing I did there, they're still able to sign up. But it is really insulting and childish, superficial nonsense.

    What are you taking about?

  • LearnedHandLearnedHand Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    i'm not sure what you mean about certain women being discouraged from using okc
    Pellaeon wrote:
    What are you talking about?

    Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.

    Probably other things, but I don't use the site so I don't know. But the whole site has a smarmy, unpleasant attitude. With the charts about appearance and whatever too.

    Spoiler:
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Internet dating sites and the world at large have convinced me that I was born about 5 years too soon.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • LucidLucid Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    LearnedHand, I'm sorry if you get the impression that I don't like you. I have no like or dislike for you. You just come across as being befuddled in regards to why people can't see how brilliant you are. This likely may have something to do with your lack of success in something like online dating. In person it's easier to back up your words with your interpersonal behaviour or other ways of showing talent and accomplishment. In an online context, people have less tolerance for arrogance because it's all the more empty when limited to words.
    Hamurabi wrote: »
    I can attest that it's not that heavy a burden. :P
    I suppose I'm referring to it being more of an indicator of insecurity.

    No museum needs another upside-down toilet bowl once it has one.
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle Talk 'N Text Tropang TextersRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    NOW THIS THREAD IS GETTING SOMEWHERE!

    LH, you should probably see a behavioral therapist.

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck NONSTOP INFINITE CLIMAX POSTING you must go on i cant go on ill go onRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    After searching Philadelphia and the 25 mile radius on Plentyoffish, I've discovered where the confusion lies. Much better looking women there.

    Internet dating is much less culturally accepted here. Virtually nobody I know does it. It's viewed as the province of nerds, unlike totally unnerdy things like facebook cough cough

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  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
    Is this a thing?

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • AceFantasticAceFantastic Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Not in the way that LH has presented it, no. A quick google search pulled up this
    Dating site OkCupid sent an e-mail to some of its users late last week informing them that they’ve been placed in the top half of users in terms of attractiveness by its algorithms.

    ...The e-mail (which was sent by the “OkCupid Summer Interns”) specified that the determinations were made through analysis of clicks on users’ photos and reactions in the Quiver and QuickMatch features.

    http://mashable.com/2010/05/25/okcupid-dating/

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  • JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    forty wrote: »
    Like the "attractiveness rating" or whatever thing where if you're deemed "attractive", you get matched to "attractive" people. I don't know exactly how it works but extremely off-putting. I think it's done by some matching thing where you have to pick who is more attractive from two photos. Again, this all goes to what I'm saying.
    Is this a thing?

    He's talking about the My Best Face thing, which is a tool designed to help you determine which of your photos make good profile photos by comparing to other peoples' who are submitted in a similar manner.

    Now, that being said, there is a global rating system thing in OKC - pretty sure it's based off of the stars thing which people can use on profiles. Only A-List folks (ie, paid members) can see the ratings, apparently. Found this out in a reddit thread.

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  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Well, I'm not attractive so that's probably contributing to why I see so many people I have no interest in.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I am currently involved in what feels like the beginning to a hipster romance movie.

    Just waiting for the band t-shirt trade, and the inevitable bittersweet parting of ways, followed by an ambiguous ending dialogue as I look up at the sky.

    ...but seriously, this girl's pretty cool.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • So It GoesSo It Goes Well, that seems pretty ludicrous.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    maybe your profile isn't interesting, dude.

    Dude, what do you think? I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    But "hotties"? I have to say, it eludes me.

    Indeed, just browsing the profiles, the overwhelming majority (95%+) don't even meet my minimum standard for "attractive" never mind the "hotties".

    So either my standards are extremely high (which I don't think is the case) or these "hotties" are removed from my search filters or...I don't know...could be that they just aren't there, I suppose.

    When I stumble across somebody who's "attractive", I sometimes send a message. They have never replied, though. Focusing on "hotties" (i.e. "an exceptionally attractive woman")...maybe they're using internet dating, but I certainly haven't seen them.

    but I use internet dating

    NOPE.
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  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Are you Asian, So It Goes? Because LH won't see you unless you're Asian.

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  • AgesAges Registered User
    edited May 2011
    It's okay if you're not though; in fact, I'd say you dodged a bullet there.

  • DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i dunno, i feel like i have a similar time as LH.

    some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.

  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i dunno, i feel like i have a similar time as LH.

    some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.

    i have a gun pic on my profile

    so

    much

    pussy

    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • JoolanderJoolander It's like Christmas But with more ... ME!Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
  • DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    i dunno, i feel like i have a similar time as LH.

    some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.

    i have a gun pic on my profile

    so

    much

    pussy

    yeah i saw.. i think its the location to be honest (uk here, gun laws are pretty strict) or pentlyoffish just sucks, pondering making a okcupid account.

    then again i haven't really been proactive about sending messages out, just replying to ones i get, so maybe that fault lies with me. probably.

  • BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Organichu wrote: »
    i dunno, i feel like i have a similar time as LH.

    some part of me still thinks its the screencap of the gun aim you guys swore would work but i dunno, i get tons of views though.

    i have a gun pic on my profile

    so

    much

    pussy

    Don't forget the Israeli accent. That's up there with Scottish and French.

  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i was naturalized years ago, no accent

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  • JoolanderJoolander It's like Christmas But with more ... ME!Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    well then fake it

    I am the proud owner of several terrible fake accents

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  • BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Joolander wrote: »
    well then fake it

    I am the proud owner of several terrible fake accents

    My southern accent sounds like JFK. I've either had an attempt at an Indian accent sound Irtish or vice-versa.

  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i am the worst at accents

    everything i try eventually devolves (within the first couple of sentences) into apu from the simpsons

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  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I have a Southern Gentleman accent.

    ...yeah, I know. Doesn't really help.

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  • Solomaxwell6Solomaxwell6 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Mild southern accents are awesome in women. Dunno how sexy it is in men.

  • BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Mild southern accents are awesome in women. Dunno how sexy it is in men.

    It might be a problem if you like black women.

  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I have a Southern Gentleman accent.

    ...yeah, I know. Doesn't really help.

    It doesn't? Hmm.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    ...does it? I don't know. I have literally 0 experience with this shit. Certainly no positive experience, in person.

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  • Bobkins FlymoBobkins Flymo FF69B4 Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    I don't know how to make an interesting profile right now. It's hard to bullshit "working at Walmart until I go to school full-time in the fall" into something more appealing. It's doesn't help that my brother and half of our friends up and moved to the other side of the country. The ones that are still here are busy with school or work, and my closest friend is working two jobs now. So, not much of a social life right now.

    On the plus side, I shaved my large, unkempt beard.

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  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle Talk 'N Text Tropang TextersRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    What are you passionate about? Is your life just job, sleep, job, sleep?

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
  • LucidLucid Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    You don't have to mention where you work if it's a place you're not fond of or take pride in. Just mention you're working retail and going to school full time soon. There's nothing wrong with that. People don't generally care too much about the specifics of these things, unless it's particularly unique or interesting. Employment is to represent stability or security for most people(even then,as long as you have something going on for your future). You wouldn't want to be with someone who looked at you through the eyes of status, would you?

    Focus more on other areas of your life you enjoy and find interesting. Not everyone has something with these aspects going on in every area of their life. It's pretty uncommon.

    No museum needs another upside-down toilet bowl once it has one.
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