Let's Play Quest for Glory. Thanks to Piotyr for keeping this going!

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Set 36 - No Wishing for More Wishes

Spoiler:

You there, try walking through the door now!

That makes no sense, but if it makes you happy...

Would it help if I said, "herp derp" while doing this?

No, no, fool! Pass through it! Oh, get out of the way.

You have no idea how or why you got here, but it is nice to be able to help such a nice man.

I might still be hypnotized, but I can understand you, friend. You didn't stare all the sarcasm out of me. Nobody is powerful enough to do that.

What is wrong? How does it go? "For one thousand years and a year, Iblis will be bound..." I know that it has been one thousand and one years to this very day, so that MUST be correct. "Beneath the tombstones of the city that he once did found." This is the Forbidden City, there is no doubt of that. "Then comes a hero from the northland, led unto despair..." You are the only hero that I have found recently; it must be you! And I have no doubt you will despair before I am through with you. "Passing through the door unopened, that he will find there." The door! Accursed door. Why can you not pass through it? "When the moonlight shines between the Dragon's jaws... And is caught and held there by the Scorpion's claws." The moon! It is not due to rise between the two constellations until tomorrow! How can I be wrong?

I would hate to see you take a standardized test.

I WILL NOT BE DENIED!

I cannot be wrong. It did not say one thousand and one years and a day. No! But how can the moon be where it cannot be? You! You're the hero. Answer me how the moon can be between the Dragon and the Scorpion?

For being a mighty and all-knowing master of WIT, you sure do dip a lot of shit when it comes to riddles. Leave it to a Thief to solve it for you.

Next time you spend decades working on a plan, figure this shit out ahead of time.

At last! Now how does the rest of the prophecy go?

"And at last the hero 'He Who Waits Behind' shall see,
While Iblis rises by the Dark One and the light shall flee.
By the name of Suleiman, so shall this be!"

Now you know all you need to know. Go in there and bring me the Statue of Iblis!

Just so you know, I liked you better when you were boring and repetitive and kept calling yourself my friend. We never used to fight. What happened to us? *sniff*

Then the euphoric feeling starts to fade and you stand alone in the darkness. The past few hours are hazy in your memory. You remember only one thing clearly: you are here to find the Statue of Iblis.

Y'know, I can see pretty well in the dark if there's a little bit of ambient moonlight, but I don't even have that here. Time to use the ol' trusty Fire Elemental.

Much better. Now, back to my sneaky, stealthy ways.

Well you're no fun, narrator.

Where do the logs come from? Geez, I'm starting to make my brain hurt again. I guess I should just be grateful I have something to jump onto.

Let's go surfin' now, everybody's learnin' how, come on a spelunking with meeeeee

That's what she said.

Ahhh! My crotch is being sucked towards the hole! ...hey, wait. This is an altogether new sensation! I like it! Better not overdo it, though. This is a family adventure.

Close one. Well, the air currents seem to rise up and go over to that ledge I'll be heading to in just a minute. Can't have that. I'll just use my trusty Thief Toolkit here and block this mother off.

There we go. Onward to help my buddy.

You need to watch your footing on the upper walkway. It's easier than it looks to fall back down to the lower floor, giving you a hit to your HP and making you jump over the deadly log falls again.

Somehow I knew all my exploits would land me in hell.

Ow ow OW! My poor boots are burning! Gotta be more prudent...

This isn't really supposed to be a conundrum, is it? Magic rope time.

No lock to pick on this weird-ass door. I guess I'll just take a lesson from WIT and knock.

Well, I wasn't around when this door was made, so it couldn't be me, unfortunately. The only name I know from the prophecy is Suleiman, and...

No need to shout, shitbird! I can hear you perfectly well! It's Suleiman.

Door's open. On I go, I guess. Gee, I wonder if my good pal will be happier once I get this thing done. I wish we could go back to the good old days when we would hang out and... hmm... I can't remember what we did. Oh well. Moving right along...

No obvious obstacles here. What's all that stuff piled up against the walls?

EPIC LEWT!

DAMN YOU, SULEIMAN, MY ONE WEAKNESS! HOW DID YOU KNOOOOOOW

On second thought, nothing here looks like what my good friend needs. I'd best move along, I can always come back for treasure later. I don't have a way to drag it out of here right now anyway.

That's it! Won't my platonic acquaintance be pleased!

I really can't see any way this will end badly for me.

The crystal's cool glow is numbing. You feel compelled to pick it up, but as you reach out...

One of these days I'm going to figure out how not to be paralyzed at inopportune times.

Oh, that shit is still going down, lickspittle. Let me loose for a second and you'll have a dagger lodged in your dickhole.

Do you know how long I have awaited this moment? Seventy years! Seventy years I have served the Dark Master while watching for the stars to align. Seventy years I have spent learning the magic that controls men's minds and waiting for a fool to fulfill the prophecy for me.

Here's a thought: if you could just teleport down here any damn time you pleased, why did you sit around on your ass for seventy years? Oh, I know. Because it's going to make it all the more sweet when you die with my knife lodged in your gut.

Tonight, as the moon arises between the Scorpion's claws and the Dragon's teeth, I shall begin the ritual that shall make me the Master! I will control Iblis, and thus control the world. While you, pawn of prophecy, shall remain behind in this tomb. You shall be "He Who Waits Behind."

Thanks for monologuing your evil plans to me. Now I'm assuredly going to fuck your shit up.

Or... maybe not.

Bye!

Alone at last. I guess I'll try and pry these rocks out of the way, I am a fine specimen of a man... HURRRRK

Well that's just great. I guess I'd better just sit down over here and... hey...

Shiny! Sparkly! Gimme!

Oh hey! Looks like Mr. 'Vis missed the real treasure in here. I wish for all the gold in the entire world!

That's a fucking terrible idea. If you have all the money in the world, the economy would collapse and you'd never get to spend your money.

Don't bother me with trifles, dammit! Okay, I'll be a little more reasonable. I wish Ad Avis was dead.

But that would completely destroy the narrative!

Well, what the fuck can you do, you billowing cloud of fart?

You are the lord of the Ring, since you put it on and twisted it. Your wish is my command, as long as it helps return Iblis here. We Djinn are very great and powerful. Well, some of us are, anyway. I can grant you three wishes by the power of the Ring. I can get you anything you want, as long as it is health, prowess, or teleporting you to Iblis.

I wish the person who left you here had had the foresight to give me a djinn who could do things. Fine. First, I wish to be really, super lucky. I've a mind to take up gambling.

By my power, may you have the skill of ten men!

...You might have said something along those lines before you did anything else. Still, I feel like I could roll 7's all day long now. Much obliged. Now, for my second wish. I wish to be the most agile Thief in the world.

Again, we are feeling extremely skilled.

You have but one wish left. Choose carefully, Master.

All right. Take me to the bad guys. It's time to take out the trash (and get paid in the process).

Ooooh... one little thing there, Master. This is going to take all the rest of the magic power I have, and all you have too.

Beg pardon?

I'll need to drain the magic essence in you to teleport you to Iblis. It won't be an immediate change. You'll still be able to use magic for a little while, but pretty soon you'll be an ordinary muggle again.

You're even more worthless than I thought! ...Ugh... well, it can't be any worse than staying here forever or the world ending. I suppose I'll just have to leave the magic to other heroes, then. It isn't as if I was using it much lately, anyway.

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Ugh. My animated gifs aren't working for whatever reason. I'll fix them when I can. You get the gist for now.

Elvenshae · August 2011

I just want to reiterate that y'all have done a fantastic job of keeping each of the three characters entertainingly separate.

Syphyre · August 2011

Haha, I like how you worked the hex editing you're going to do of your magic into the storyline. Excellent.

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Syphyre wrote:

Haha, I like how you worked the hex editing you're going to do of your magic into the storyline. Excellent.

It seemed an apropos way to do it!

By the way, the OP has been totally updated now, and we are up to 93 Sets.

EDIT: Also, holy damn the harem scene alone took more screenshots than all the shots in the previous set combined.

Piotyr · August 2011

And so it was that Jethro and Jim ended QFG2 with the exact same honor.

Also, yay for the return of Fanboy Hero!

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Haha, I didn't want to steal your "Awesome" Hero, Piotyr. That was my favorite part of Jim's finale stuff.

Piotyr · August 2011

joshofalltrades wrote:

Syphyre wrote:

Haha, I like how you worked the hex editing you're going to do of your magic into the storyline. Excellent.

It seemed an apropos way to do it!

By the way, the OP has been totally updated now, and we are up to 93 Sets.

EDIT: Also, holy damn the harem scene alone took more screenshots than all the shots in the previous set combined.

Damned eunuchs.

Syphyre · August 2011

Piotyr wrote:

And so it was that Jethro and Jim ended QFG2 with the exact same honor.

Also, yay for the return of Fanboy Hero!

I just had to, it seemed too appropriate.

Nocren · August 2011

When I did my family write-up (4 cousins going through the game at once, each one a different class and each completing a game), I had the thief complete the first adventure then when everyone else is trying to stop Ad Avis, the thief goes, "hey, my cousins' got this covered, and I'm already a hero... think I'll just relax with you ladies for a bit... " :winky:

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Okay, I made one more minor addition to the OP and now I'm hunkering down to work on the last couple of sets.

Piotyr · August 2011

joshofalltrades wrote:

Okay, I made one more minor addition to the OP and now I'm hunkering down to work on the last couple of sets.

:lol:

Syphyre · August 2011

Piotyr wrote:

joshofalltrades wrote:

Okay, I made one more minor addition to the OP and now I'm hunkering down to work on the last couple of sets.

:lol:

ahahaha

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Set 37 - Boning, or Heroism? Decisions, decisions...

Spoiler:

Well, get on with it, then.

In the name of Suleiman bin Daoud the Binder and by my Power as He Who Waits Behind: Take us to Iblis!

Nothing like a little teleportation to make one feel violently ill.

Wow, what do you know? It worked! My magic really worked! We are now in what you call Raseir. This is as close to Iblis as I could get.

Oh, good. I was hoping you would be here, too.

There are some very powerful spells coming from that Palace over there. We don't have much time!

Better carry my ass, then.

Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!

Eat shit and die!

The Underground is prepared to attack the Palace. If you need to enter there, we will provide some distraction for you. However, we are almost ready, so you must hurry before you are caught in our battle.

I love using furry animals as meat shields slash distractions.

Time for my greatest heist yet: sneaking into the Palace of Raseir.

Two guards and a eunuch (heh). That's all they left to keep me from getting in? These sons of bitches don't know me very well. Looks like a scarf was left for me, just like that one lady said. Guess that's my cue.

If you don't stick to the shadows, you're spotted, the guards run out and while you're trying to fend them off, Iblis gets released upon the world, utter ruin, death and destruction yadda yadda yadda. Just stay out of sight here.

Okay, no-dick up there is headed the other way. Now's my chance to get up there without him seeing.

Phew, made it. I don't think anybody saw me...

And this is why the Thief is the best class.

...Ladies :winky:

I am feeling very welcome right now. Trust me, the pleasure is all mine. (Oh sweet merciful Allah thank you Rakeesh for sending me here I owe you one bro)

Quickly, you must hide before the eunuch passes. There, go behind the curtain.

Yes'm!

If you wish to watch him, you will need to sneak through the next room. We will try to aid you by distracting one of the eunuchs.

I wish to do a lot more than watch him. I hope you know how to distract a man with no genitals; it's tougher than it sounds.

Quickly, hide again.

K

This is the one who gave his clothes to Zayishah.

Kahla: How handsome he is.

Layla: How strong his muscles are.

Sulayma: Lucky Zayishah.

Nawar: If I had been her, clothes would not be the only thing we exchanged in that room.

Budar: If you had been her, you never would have left that room.

Ruzhat: How his hair shines like sunlight! His eyes, like starlight.

Dunya: Already, you moon for him.

All right, but after I save the world I'm coming back.

Wait! A guard comes! Hide quickly!

Awwwww yeah

Kahla: A stranger?

Layla: In here?

Sulayma: Whatever would we do?

Nawar: (I can think of several things.)

Budar: (Shhh.)

Ruzhat: But you, Barli, you will protect us from strangers.

Dunya: No stranger could possibly get past you.

*snicker*

Then perhaps you should go back to your watch.

Kahla: We feel so safe.

Layla: With you out there.

Sulayma: No stranger would dare enter.

Nawar: (Enter what?)

:shock:

Budar: (Shhh.)

Ruzhat: Thank you for warning us.

Dunya: We will be very, very careful.

Go, before some stranger tries to sneak upon the battlements.

Go, before Khaveen catches you away from your post.

That was fun, but I gotta get going before-

Hero, go behind the curtain! A guard comes.

Oh come on already

Layla: With teeth like pearl.

Sulayma: And lips made for kissing.

Nawar: And a tongue made for...

Budar: (Nawar!)

Quickly, go to the doorway and sneak into the other room.

Okay! Okay! I'm leaving for real now!

Ruzhat: Couldn't he stay longer?

Dunya: He just got here.

Quiet. Go now, Hero, before we all get caught.

Layla: Good luck.

Sulayma: Come back soon.

Nawar: Perhaps later tonight?

Budar: And the next night, and the next?

(Holy shit, they all want my wrinklestick!) Yes, I will definitely be back later. Promise.

Ruzhat: Such stories we could tell you.

Dunya: Such tales we could make.

Nawar: Speaking of making tails...

Budar: Your mind is always on that end.

Nawar: If the means justify it.

Be careful. It is very dangerous out there. May fortune favor you, and may you go before you get caught!

*muah*

smugface 2.0, new and improved smug

Gone.

Now's my chance.

He's going. My turn now.

There you are, sleaze-cheese. Nobody ends the world on my watch. Not as long as there are things for me to steal in it.

That's the idea, you overdeveloped odor.

Hoookay, a little less conversation, a little more action. Come on down, magic rope.

Good thing I'm super agile. Wishes, don't fail me now.

Oh god dammit not now, Khaveen!

But neither will be of any use to you now. I will collect your head...

EEEEEEEEEK

To your great relief, the enchanted rope resists the blow of Khaveen's sword.

Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! Khaveen eats soiled undergarments! Feh!

Curses! Very well then. I'll just have to deal with you up close!

EEEEEEEEEK

That's what you get for messing with Thieves, you prick! Let me know if you see my visa down there!

Careful, Master. There is some sort of spell between the pillars. It won't let any magic or anything alive get through from outside. Even so, somehow we've got to stop the last candle from being lit.

And that, my non-gifted Djinni, is why Allah invented daggers.

We chuck one at the nearest candle.

Do you like the taste of egg, Ad Avis? Because it's all over your face!

ME!

no u

I think you made him angry, Master. Better duck!

Good advice!

Missed us! Let's get him, Master! Go over to the other pillar where you can get back at that wicked old human.

Don't order me around! ...But yeah, I'm gonna do that.

We threw a dagger, which bounced off of Ad Avis.

Actually, no.

ker-THUNK, right in his belly.

Hmmm? Master? I like the sound of that. It's too late for you though, you've already gone to say hello to our friend Khaveen down there.

Yeah! We did it! The spell on the room is broken now, Master. We can go in.

Ahhh... solid ground again.

I knew I would remember it. The real prophecy is...

"One thousand years and a year,
so shall Iblis be caught,
In the tombstones of the city,
where he and I once fought.
Until moonlight has been captured,
twixt the Scorpion and Drake,
Then comes a hero from the north,
and ancient powers wake.

Led and followed by a Dark One,
guide to deceit and despair,
Passing through the trial by fire,
Trials of water, earth and air;
Passing through the door unopened,
barrier that yields to none,
By my name of Suleiman,
So shall this be done!

Come at last unto betrayal,
and to 'He Who Waits Behind,'
Seek ye then to capture Iblis,
'ere he rises unconfined.
Else shall come the night eternal,
Darkness overshadows light,
Unless a hero seeks the Darkness
and restores the wrongs to right."

Bye bye, Master. It's been fun!

Especially one part in particular...

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Only one more set to go, but it's getting too late for me to start on it now. You'll all just have to be content with three sets in a single day.

Piotyr · August 2011

Yep, that Harem takes forever. Not that anyone ever minds...

Piotyr · August 2011

joshofalltrades wrote:

Only one more set to go, but it's getting too late for me to start on it now. You'll all just have to be content with three sets in a single day.

Six sets in two days? Is that all?

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Hopefully soon we can all be playing QFG3. I would say this next set will place us at 2/5 of the way through the entire LP, but it's probably a little bit more than that, considering how little time will be necessary in 3.

Syphyre · August 2011

But I think that 4 and 5 are going to take at least as long as 2.

Edit: I'm keeping my Avatar.

EditEdit: Ok, that set was AWESOME josh. I almost want to play through as a thief just to hit up that sequence myself.

Piotyr · August 2011

Syphyre wrote:

I'm keeping my Avatar.

The statement matches the avatar's glare precisely.

Hammerlock · August 2011

Wow, never saw that sequence before...paladin and thieving mage were my previous run-throughs with QFG2.

Bye Nawar, see you in Silmeria!

Elvenshae · August 2011

Hammerlock wrote:

Bye Nawar, see you in five minutes!

Fix'd.

Syphyre · August 2011

At least a day has passed after you kill Ad Avis before the magic carpet comes for you. You know Hamburglar is taking advantage of that time.

gjaustin · August 2011

Hammerlock wrote:

Wow, never saw that sequence before...paladin and thieving mage were my previous run-throughs with QFG2.

Bye Nawar, see you in Silmeria!

You know, it just occurred to me that there are 4 love interests in QFG5 so someone is getting left out.

joshofalltrades · August 2011

gjaustin wrote:

Hammerlock wrote:

Wow, never saw that sequence before...paladin and thieving mage were my previous run-throughs with QFG2.

Bye Nawar, see you in Silmeria!

You know, it just occurred to me that there are 4 love interests in QFG5 so someone is getting left out.

Probably the one who's pretty on the inside

Hammerlock · August 2011

gjaustin wrote:

You know, it just occurred to me that there are 4 love interests in QFG5 so someone is getting left out.

Nawar (everyone--as you can see, she's easy/not exactly picky), Elsa (fighter, paladin), Katrina (magic user, thief?), Erana (paladin, magic user)

Massena · August 2011

Hammerlock wrote:

gjaustin wrote:

You know, it just occurred to me that there are 4 love interests in QFG5 so someone is getting left out.

Nawar (everyone--as you can see, she's easy/not exactly picky), Elsa (fighter, paladin), Katrina (magic user, thief?), Erana (paladin, magic user)

Yeah, as I understand it:

Spoiler:

But I'm sure there's some leeway there. When I played 5 I always preferred:

Spoiler:

Elvenshae · August 2011

I think I found your problem ...

Massena wrote:

When I played 5 I always preferred:

Spoiler:

Elsa or Erana. Nawar was a bit whorish and Katrina was such a let down from her QG4 voice actor.

Syphyre · August 2011

Well I'm the goody two shoes and I'm going to grab the same, and I don't think there's much doubt that Elsa's gonna get left out in the cold from the others ;-)

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Hamburglar will marry Nawar and Elsa

Hammerlock · August 2011

Big Love: Silmerian Edition

Piotyr · August 2011

Jim will marry himself.

DisruptedCapitalist · August 2011

Piotyr wrote:

Jim will marry himself.

No surprise there.

Hammerlock · August 2011

Just remember to buy oil "for those squeaky hinges" first. :lol:

joshofalltrades · August 2011

Set 38 - Magic Carpet Ride (if you know what I mean)

Spoiler:

And by "complete my quest", I'm going to go help Nawar slay the dragon. It'll be my Trial by Perspire. My high vitality score is going to come in handy for this. Time for sex.

Later...

The elemental, under your command, is released into the fountain.

Is this going to be like other water fountains, where you have to leave it running for a while before it gets cold?

Apparently not!

No! I don't want to go back! I finally made this the place I want to be, and it's not fair. You can't make me go back to Shapeir!

*whimper* My harem...

The palace celebration music!

(Uh oh. Do they know about my heists? Did they dust for prints? What's going on here?) Uhhh, judge not, lest ye be judged...

Stranger? Oh, you want me to go to Raseir and fix all your problems but as soon as that's done I'm suddenly the greater evil, huh?

Eh?

We met Hamburglar.

Through his courage and skills, he restored the Baron's son and daughter and banished the wicked Baba Yaga.

(I slowly began to realize I was not about to be destroyed!)

He became Hero of Spielburg.

Man, that's like, ancient history now.

He journeyed with us back to Shapeir. Here he defeated the Elementals of Fire, Air, Earth, and Water to save our city.

He is a true hero.

D'awww, you guys...

Wait, so I'm just here for you guys to sing my praises? ...Okay, I'll stop trying to find escape routes now.

This man of his own free will went into the desert and sought the plant-woman Julanar. Through his kindness and compassion, he allowed Julanar to forget the pain and suffering of her past and to again face life with joy.

Now she's going to be a tourist trap on the way to Shapeir. "Mommy, daddy, can we see the plant bimbo?" "Yeah, I gotta pee pee daddy!" "No, we're not stopping until we get there!"

This man also found a caged beast in the desert.

Actually, it'd be more accurate to say the Dervish found it. But he did jack shit, so yeah, I'll take the credit.

Though it was wicked and most foul, Hamburglar turned aside its wickedness and restored its humanity. We shall hope it may learn from the kindness of the hero.

Careful what you wish for...

Who are you? Do I know you?

Oooh. (Should've bought those glasses, stupid, stupid...

It was just some spare clothes and my credit card...

Yeah, I figured I'd need another dispel potion at some point...

Oh dear sweet merciful Allah WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'M A MONSTER! HARIK! WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THAT POTION?!

Oh.

Yeah, and I rode you across half the desert, too. Awkward...

The Sultan shall speak for Hamburglar.

He's... here? Where?

Oh snap. (Glad I didn't pick his pocket...)

I am the Poet Omar, teller of tales for all to hear.

By the words which have been spoken,
by the deeds that have been done,
I proclaim this man a hero,
I now call this man my son.

D...daddy? Oh good, cause I hated my real dad.

Oh yeah! Time for a trip to Raseir! Who's coming? ...Rakeesh, you stay. STAY.

Final stats...

Note the horrendous Honor score. Even after being proclaimed a Hero and the son of the Sultan.

And I maxed my score for the first time ever, too. Without even trying. I dunno, I guess I just never really cared all that much for the points. Doing silly things like asking the genie about the wishes are pretty arbitrary, since talking to other people doesn't necessarily net you anything. Oh well. I'll take it as a victory for all Thief-kind.

Maybe after I get through the other 3 games.

You're welcome!

Until the next game, joshofalltrades, signing off.

joshofalltrades · August 2011

The OP was officially too long with this update. I moved all the extraneous bullshit to the second post, in case you are still wondering why you can't read anything or what this game is about or shit like that. I have a feeling this will continue to be a problem as this LP gets lengthier and lengthier.

Piotyr · August 2011

Note to self: keep set titles under 3 paragraphs.

Piotyr · August 2011

I was going to try to roll this into my first QFG3 set, but it's not really wizard specific, so...

Here is the trailer for Quest for Glory 3 (no, really, they made a trailer):

Syphyre · August 2011

So, the Paladin gets points in his magic stat. (Why, I have no clue, couldn't they just make the paladin spells run off honor?) Because of this, when you start QFG3, you get the Wizard opening sequence, rather than the Fighter sequence (You'd think they would have thought of that) So I had to go through two opening sequences to get it right.

joshofalltrades · August 2011

I'm going to hold off on starting QFG3 for the weekend. 4 sets in 2 days takes its toll.

Penny Arcade

Let's Play Quest for Glory. Thanks to Piotyr for keeping this going!

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