and once you seriously consider the option, it will never. ever. leave your head.
very, very true. It's like a tumor you can never totally cut out.
Well that is something. I'm sure everyone has had low points with tons of bullshit in their lives and feel like it'd be best to just jump off a bridge that sort all of that out. But it's, I dunno, not really a serious consideration and you're just fatigued. I always imagined a serious consideration would be much different.
it is very different, and it never leaves you after that.
it's not that you always want to kill yourself. It's just that in the back of your mind, anytime things start getting tough, that little whining voice is there, reminding you. and that's the worst part.
[it is very different, and it never leaves you after that.
it's not that you always want to kill yourself. It's just that in the back of your mind, anytime things start getting tough, that little whining voice is there, reminding you. and that's the worst part.
you know that voice is you.
This is real talk. First time it happened to me was about two years ago. And it fucking haunts you, man. And it's not even that hard to visualize.
Got some sleeping pills? Alcohol? Bam, game over.
This is the piece of you that you will never be able to silence.
Got bleach and ammonia in your house? Just huff that like you had a head cold and a steaming bowl of water. Won't take long for your lungs to melt. People do it to themselves accidentally every year.
Battletag BYToady#1454
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Mateysee, look how sad i amnow give me your wallet.Registered Userregular
I had my first serious consideration when I was 5
At this point it's just an option I weigh every morning
Mateysee, look how sad i amnow give me your wallet.Registered Userregular
I think given the nature of the question it was kinda natural for it to dip into this territory
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
edited October 2011
Grandparents, for me. If I killed myself it would destroy my mother. And so I don't. When I get upset I get reckless more than anything else. It would have to be an accident, or at least look pretty convincingly like one.
I really only focus on it when I'm pretty far down, but I have to say it's something that's always there. "It would be so easy..." and so forth.
edit: Okay fine, and two other people probably wouldn't take it so great either.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
My mom and sister always get me through the dark hours. I couldn't leave them. Everyone else would be fine after some time, but I know they wouldn't be.
In the not-so-dark times? Well... I dunno. I've been pondering that more and more lately. I've been trying to find something to live for, to make my life have some meaning. Somedays I feel like I want my life to leave a mark on others. I want to make a difference. This drives me to work extremely long hours, seek out others in need, or get motivated to CHANGE ALL THE THINGS.
Others days, I get nihilistic, remember that no one expects anything of me and that I'm just a single cog in this giant human clockwork machine. On those days, I go into work from 9am-5pm, do a decent enough job, and come home to veg out to Dragon Ball Z on bluray for the rest of the evening.
I try not to let that happen too often.
I'm watching DBZ RIGHT NOW you guys.
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BusterKNegativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered Userregular
Life is full of so much crazy awesome shit that you never would have expected or planned for.
I know it can get shitty
Real shitty
So shitty you start to think it will always be shitty
But then another day comes and guess what?
You can't tell the future
Your life, given enough time, is going to have even worse moments
And also moments that are so incredible you could never ask for them because they blow the shit out of your wildest imagination
I was thinking about this because I was thinking about deals with the devil
Which suicide kind of reminds me of
Choosing terrible certainty instead of not knowing what will happen
But certainty, no matter what you ask for, even if it's the best thing in the world
Is a suckers bet
It kills hope
You think of the most successful people in the world
In whatever criteria you could think of
If you could go to them in the past and ask them for the best future they could imagine for themselves
They'd probably sell themselves short
I know the odds are against you
But you can't know for sure unless you find out
Life is a sucker's bet
But only a sucker can win
BusterKNegativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered Userregular
Reasons to live
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Chocolate Malted Milkshakes
3. Waffles on a Sunday morning
4. Driving down the open road with your favorite song blasting through the speakers
5. New Batman movie
6. Movies in the future are not just going to be 3D, the seats are going to move along with action scenes in a movie, like a roller coaster
7. Telling a joke and someone starts laughing so hard they look like they're gonna die and you caused that
8. That moment when no one knows how to solve a problem and suddenly you have the answer
9. There's a good chance your favorite song of all time hasn't even been written yet
10. There's at the very least, one person out there, even if you haven't met them yet, who could love you so much that even being apart from you for a few hours hurts them in their soul
11. Star Wars: The Old Republic
12. New Star Tours ride at Disneyland
God, I wish I could have been alive when this first came out
How can anyone not just want to live forever
But forever in the past too
Everywhere you turn there's awesome shit like getting your butt zapped while watching a B movie
I live for that blissful quasi-orgasmic look on a person's face when they bite into something I made and it's so good. I love to feed people, and little else brings me as much pleasure.
I'm the same way with cocktails. I love making good drinks for friends and talking them through it and damn it's just so great.
Cocktails and pleasuring someone. But more consistently, cocktails
Grandparents, for me. If I killed myself it would destroy my mother. And so I don't. When I get upset I get reckless more than anything else. It would have to be an accident, or at least look pretty convincingly like one.
I really only focus on it when I'm pretty far down, but I have to say it's something that's always there. "It would be so easy..." and so forth.
edit: Okay fine, and two other people probably wouldn't take it so great either.
I was the same way. Even when I was at my worst, I was too worried about what it would do to my mother.
I came here to say how I live for taking care of plants and living things (mostly plants, because I don't have the time or resources to take care of a bunch of adopted animals as much as I want to). Something about growing, tending, raising, and spreading all that work to friends and family. It was the highlight of my summer to grow so many tomatoes and potatoes and peppers and peas that I was looking for people to give them too. Food bank one week, a family I knew the next. Best feeling.
But the other thing I live for, and I've only really acknowledged this and embraced it lately, is to enjoy life. See the humor in things. Help people out when they need it, be there for them when they do. It keeps me from getting depressed, especially as horrible humanity can seem at times.
Steam
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
Posts
I mean yeah, it's dumb and there's nothing actually stopping me from breaking the promise, but it's like another barrier I'd have to cross.
it is very different, and it never leaves you after that.
it's not that you always want to kill yourself. It's just that in the back of your mind, anytime things start getting tough, that little whining voice is there, reminding you. and that's the worst part.
you know that voice is you.
This is real talk. First time it happened to me was about two years ago. And it fucking haunts you, man. And it's not even that hard to visualize.
Got some sleeping pills? Alcohol? Bam, game over.
This is the piece of you that you will never be able to silence.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
At this point it's just an option I weigh every morning
Still got more life to live? Yes? Carry on.
I really only focus on it when I'm pretty far down, but I have to say it's something that's always there. "It would be so easy..." and so forth.
edit: Okay fine, and two other people probably wouldn't take it so great either.
Ever.
I just don't have anything better to do than spite the world.
In the not-so-dark times? Well... I dunno. I've been pondering that more and more lately. I've been trying to find something to live for, to make my life have some meaning. Somedays I feel like I want my life to leave a mark on others. I want to make a difference. This drives me to work extremely long hours, seek out others in need, or get motivated to CHANGE ALL THE THINGS.
Others days, I get nihilistic, remember that no one expects anything of me and that I'm just a single cog in this giant human clockwork machine. On those days, I go into work from 9am-5pm, do a decent enough job, and come home to veg out to Dragon Ball Z on bluray for the rest of the evening.
I try not to let that happen too often.
I'm watching DBZ RIGHT NOW you guys.
I know it can get shitty
Real shitty
So shitty you start to think it will always be shitty
But then another day comes and guess what?
You can't tell the future
Your life, given enough time, is going to have even worse moments
And also moments that are so incredible you could never ask for them because they blow the shit out of your wildest imagination
I was thinking about this because I was thinking about deals with the devil
Which suicide kind of reminds me of
Choosing terrible certainty instead of not knowing what will happen
But certainty, no matter what you ask for, even if it's the best thing in the world
Is a suckers bet
It kills hope
You think of the most successful people in the world
In whatever criteria you could think of
If you could go to them in the past and ask them for the best future they could imagine for themselves
They'd probably sell themselves short
I know the odds are against you
But you can't know for sure unless you find out
Life is a sucker's bet
But only a sucker can win
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
For whatever it's worth
From what I've read over the years and listening to others opinions of you
The world is a better place for your existence
I think sometimes people don't hear that enough
Just thought I'd let you know
i was hoping it would stay upbeat, but i suppose i could have phrased it better.
@ceres. you know i'd notice.
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Chocolate Malted Milkshakes
3. Waffles on a Sunday morning
4. Driving down the open road with your favorite song blasting through the speakers
5. New Batman movie
6. Movies in the future are not just going to be 3D, the seats are going to move along with action scenes in a movie, like a roller coaster
7. Telling a joke and someone starts laughing so hard they look like they're gonna die and you caused that
8. That moment when no one knows how to solve a problem and suddenly you have the answer
9. There's a good chance your favorite song of all time hasn't even been written yet
10. There's at the very least, one person out there, even if you haven't met them yet, who could love you so much that even being apart from you for a few hours hurts them in their soul
11. Star Wars: The Old Republic
12. New Star Tours ride at Disneyland
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
don't want my seat to move around to clumsily simulate moving through the world of the movie
Who remember Star Wars: The Ride?
yeah, and I'm saying I don't want that shit
Yes, I wanted to go to a Harry Potter showing with that but the opportunity came and went
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
God, I wish I could have been alive when this first came out
How can anyone not just want to live forever
But forever in the past too
Everywhere you turn there's awesome shit like getting your butt zapped while watching a B movie
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
If it's any consolation, your art is truly a delight.
I'm the same way with cocktails. I love making good drinks for friends and talking them through it and damn it's just so great.
Cocktails and pleasuring someone. But more consistently, cocktails
I'm Kuribo's Shoe, and I approve this message.
I was the same way. Even when I was at my worst, I was too worried about what it would do to my mother.
gotta say, having your score announced and being only 2 points below sweepstakes is pretty exciting
too bad our color guard dragged our score down like whoa
But the other thing I live for, and I've only really acknowledged this and embraced it lately, is to enjoy life. See the humor in things. Help people out when they need it, be there for them when they do. It keeps me from getting depressed, especially as horrible humanity can seem at times.
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
It was amazing
I love William Castle
Also I have no idea what I live for
I just ain't wanna be dead yet