MSPA: this is the end...the end of SSG dog racing

Mr Fuzzbutt · October 2011

A matter is someone who makes mats and rugs and stuff, right?

Delzhand · October 2011

Earlier today I told my wife to shut her shout sphincter and for a solid minute I was afraid she was going to die laughing.

Centipede Damascus · October 2011

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.

Well, goodnight!

ASimPerson · October 2011

Speed Racer wrote:

Wait a second

Gamzee used his powers to give john clown-themed nightmares, which lead to him drawing clowns on his walls

Terezi inspired Dave to invent Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which he drew on his walls

As far as we know Jade doesn't have any crazy wall-scrawlings

but does this mean the the MEOW code was somehow influenced by the trolls?

Maybe Nepeta had something to do with it?

Is Jaspers's secret not a big enough reason?

Rorus Raz · October 2011

Mr Fuzzbutt wrote:

A matter is someone who makes mats and rugs and stuff, right?

The Had Matter

Speed Racer · October 2011

ASimPerson wrote:

Speed Racer wrote:

Wait a second

Gamzee used his powers to give john clown-themed nightmares, which lead to him drawing clowns on his walls

Terezi inspired Dave to invent Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which he drew on his walls

As far as we know Jade doesn't have any crazy wall-scrawlings

but does this mean the the MEOW code was somehow influenced by the trolls?

Maybe Nepeta had something to do with it?

Is Jaspers's secret not a big enough reason?

well but all jaspers did as meow at her

and it would be odd if rose deviated from the pattern

and I'm pretty sure every other character has done something relevant to the plot other than Nepeta

Skull Man · October 2011

jade didn't have to write on her wall because she has her dreambot

Rorus Raz · October 2011

Nepeta did something relevant to the plot.

She was Aradia's server player.

Skull Man · October 2011

nepata um

hold on

Antimatter · October 2011

nepeta had less lines than ghostyTrickster

Mr Fuzzbutt · October 2011

Gamzee killed her, that was pretty important.

WAIT NO SHE DIDN'T DIE, SHE DIDN'T GET A DEAD

Macera · October 2011

Zay · October 2011

Antimatter wrote:

nepeta had less lines than ghostyTrickster

Is that including Seek the Highb100d?

NeoToma · October 2011

I didn't care a lick fur Nepeta until Andrew had the mini-update with her and jasper

damnit huss

Why you gotta retroactively make me care about Role-Playing catgirl's love life

Speed Racer · October 2011

I keep thinking I'm almost at the point where we switch over to Doc Scratch

but then another sideplot I forgot about comes up

Antimatter · October 2011

Zay wrote:

Antimatter wrote:

nepeta had less lines than ghostyTrickster

Is that including Seek the Highb100d?

i honestly do not know

some guy apparently counted all the lines in homestuck and attributed it to whoever

also I nearly said "cunted"

Rorus Raz · October 2011

You didn't nearly say it. You fuckin' SAID IT.

Antimatter · October 2011

in place of counted you silly goose

Speed Racer · October 2011

oh hey I'm switching to Doc Scratch!

...Oh wait no this is the first time I switch to him when he's expecting future me as a guest that will be arriving shortly

it sure was nice of him to prevent me and future me from meeting up, that guy's a total asshole

Rorus Raz · October 2011

That was the funny-making

Look at me, being filled with literalness!

Rorus Raz · October 2011

Dude, future Speed is awesome. Loaned me five bucks and one time he helped fixed Anti's car.

Unlike you, who just makes fun of BugBoy all day.

Speed Racer · October 2011

What's that? I see. You think you already know my name. You do not know my real name, Jack, just as none of your adversaries on this planet know yours. You only know my nickname.

Huh.

Rorus Raz · October 2011

Doc Scratch

Dumb Shit

Speed Racer · October 2011

I am right to be smug. I am omniscient, extremely powerful, and very charming.
TT: Well,
TT: Two out of three isn't bad.
TT: Can you use your limitless intelligence to figure out which ones I mean?
That was clever.
If I plead ignorance to the fact that you are denying my charisma, it invalidates my claim of omniscience.
But if I must adhere to my all knowing status, it forces me to validate the unfortunate reality that you are feigning the opinion that my demeamor is unpalatable.

Rose manages to troll Doc Scratch

she is the ultimate antagonism ninja

Macera · October 2011

well, Rose is the best character

Speed Racer · October 2011

Also, if you were millions of years old, you would find that nearly every lady you encounter is quite young, relatively speaking.
There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures.
In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.
TT: Oh my god.
What?
TT: Can we talk about the scratch instead of this?
Yes.

then again he gets her back almost immediately

tayvaan · October 2011

88%
hussie doin work

Speed Racer · October 2011

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005539

did anyone ever figure out if any of the text on this page was meaningful

Duke 2.0 · October 2011

Hussie and fans have come to the common conclusion that it's random gibberish.

Antimatter · October 2011

Speed Racer wrote:

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005539

did anyone ever figure out if any of the text on this page was meaningful

THE SEER OF LIGHT asked her MAGIC CUE BALL if the horrorterrors are evil, and the response was lines of incoherent text (meaningless, except for the phrase "Oglog M'Rubbit", a CALLBACK TO PROBLEM SLEUTH).

Seriously · October 2011

Speed Racer wrote:

What's that? I see. You think you already know my name. You do not know my real name, Jack, just as none of your adversaries on this planet know yours. You only know my nickname.

Huh.

speaking of when are we going to discover the rest of the midnight crew's non-street names

I mean that is an entire intermission right there

Erics · October 2011

I can't wait till the update comes out and we go through 100 pages in a day.

ASimPerson · October 2011

All right, it's been a long day of college football for me. But I need to pick up the pace with the recappin' here - Speed is starting to steal my thunder! Well, and also doing it when other people awake.

But I have a tumbler glass, 2 fresh cubes of ice, and a brand new bourbon today. I was hoping to get all the way to [ S] Make Her Pay but I don't think that's going to happen. But, dammit, we've got to try.

ASimPerson · October 2011

DRUNKSTUCK

PART VIII: ACT 5: Hivebent (part 2)

So let's see where we left off...

Oh, right, that guy. Let's move on. Quickly.

CT: D --> I have no right to talk to you like that, or tell you what you can't do
TC: aWw, No WoRrIeS!

Sigh. But, yeah, this is basically where we find out how utterly (and, ultimately, fatally) fucked up Equius is.

CT: D --> Get out of my head, it's making me angry
CT: D --> Try to remember who built your arm for you
AG: Oh g8d!
AG: D8n't you d8re!!!!!!!!

ROBOSLAP, PART 2.

Actually, more LUSUSDEATH x2 COMBO

GC: TH3 TRUC3 W4SNT 4BOUT NOT PL4Y1NG G4M3S TOG3TH3R DUMMY
GC: 1T W4S 4BOUT NOT ST4BB1NG 34CH OTH3R 1N TH3 B4CK 4NYMOR3

I guess, in retrospect, this was the only way:

Spoiler:

AG: But it was still a lot of fun. Watching you dismantle huge teams of Flarpers with nothing 8ut politics and head games.
AG: Without even using any special powers! Wow.

I guess we only saw a glimpse of this when she convinced John to go get himself killed.

AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer!
AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the shit ag8in.
AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!!
AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is!
AG: You'll seeeeeeee!
GC: 1 DOUBT 1T

As Speed said, this does make it that much funnier given that John pretty much instantly forgave her. Another interpretation could be Vriska getting offed by Terezi, though. I mean - Terezi expressed her misgivings to Dave before she did it. Who's to say she doesn't have regrets?

I'm not going to lie, it's kind of weird seeing sighted Terezi.

Yet, alive Aradia is really keen.

But maybe you're right. Maybe you are a person with free will and you won't kill your friend.

Wasn't he just saying that his "talents" were wasted on Vriska? If he's not manipulating her, I'd like to see what he defines as such.

I think this is the last time we see her alive until her godtier resurrection. It was a fun 11 pages!

Eh, what's up, Doc?

The MAGIC CUE BALL on the other hand is said to make predictions with alarming precision and specificity. Unfortunately it lacks a portal on its surface that allows you to view the prediction.

Oh, that's up.

AG: You're so infuri8ing! Why c8n't you just h8 me? It would 8e a lot easier th8t way.
AG: Or at least feel 8othered or annoyed or S8METHING! God!!!!!!!!

Well, Vriksa, you can rest assured that no one in the Homestuck fanbase is apathetic about you.

CT: D --> I hope this doesn't sound too strange
AA: everything y0u say s0unds strange

Managing to creep out the dead girl is a pretty mean feat.

ARADIABOT: 0h g0d
ARADIABOT: 0H MY G0D WHAT DID Y0U D0!

I think this is the dialogue in Homestuck between two physical characters, though the button still says "Show spritelog", so maybe not.

People who started reading Homestuck after this. I want you to appreciate this, and that after this Hussie took a week off. That also makes it an appropriate place to end this post.

Day of the Bear · October 2011

robosmooch is something that folks who started reading after will just never be able to properly appreciate.

ZeroFill · October 2011

Rorus Raz wrote:

Doc Scratch

Dumb Shit

if Dumb Shit were to turn out to be Scratch's true name I would pay for a billboard in Times Square advertising Homestuck

ASimPerson · October 2011

Day of the Bear wrote:

robosmooch is something that folks who started reading after will just never be able to properly appreciate.

Indeed. At least they will be able to partially get the effect since there'll be a couple of posts between that and my next installment.

ASimPerson · October 2011

And so what's the proper way to get back into the swing of things? Oh, yes:

You consult your SHIPPING WALL.

This is the first time we really get any idea of Nepeta's thing for Karkat. Of course, it turns out, that was a fated pairing:

Spoiler:

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM.
CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM.
AG: I know. I don't really understand it.
AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense.
CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK.
AG: Oh god, what?

If it weren't for Nepeta's drawing up there, I would think all this quadrant business is something Karkat just flat out made up. Also, "Ohgodwhat" is the name of two songs on Volume 3.

Now, this is Spades Slick. Or will be, eventually.

He still won't shut up. He doesn't seem to care about the wound. He's just going on and on about the freakish color of his blood. He doesn't want you to look at it. Just look away, he says.

You've got to admit. Now you're curious.

You don't see what the big deal is. Nothing special. This kid's out of his mind.

But he's still blubbering on and on about it.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something.

Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

But I guess not well enough?

Oh hey it's that place again.

WOW I DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING AT ALL.

For that matter, what about this young lady? What is HER deal???

We'll probably find out about her later too. It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Finally.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

Her name comes from the Indian word for Virgo, 'Kanya'; and from 'Maryam', the Arabic name for 'Mary' as in the Virgin Mary.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

I still think this will be true in the end. But I'm not sure I want to know how.

CC: I'm -EXCIT---- ---- ---- ----ED!
CC: Pc)(ooooo.

Dammit, I like Feferi. All the other trolls are all doom and gloom. It's a breath of fresh air! Also, I am a Pisces. That probably don't hurt. Also, I had to group the dashes in bunches of 4 because the forums render 5 dashes as a horizontal line. Dumb.

Death is pretty confusing without the finality.

This is a pretty meta statement.

You secure the MATRIORB through your CHASTITY MODUS. Safe and sound!

You will serendipitously discover the key to unlock this card when and only when you are ready to use this item, and not a moment before!

Like I said, we get a lot mileage out of Dave staring at his own blood on his hands. And now for something silly!

Spoiler:

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing

A platonic relationship slut, eh?
"Hey asim can't you relate!"
"OH SNAP"
And not really, no.

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it
CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly
CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot
GA: Its Unbelievable
GA: Her Patience

Seriously, Feferi puts up with this times 10. I can't say I blame her breaking up with him.

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today
CA: wwhat did she say
CA: or glub or wwhatevver
GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely
CA: WWWWHAT

I don't think Kanaya really had that many problems coming to terms with the human notion of "sarcasm".

CA: kan its hard
GA: What
CA: being a kid and growwing up
CA: its hard and nobody understands

This remains the most accurate summation of being a teenager I've ever read.

ASimPerson · October 2011

You have a lot of inside information on what you and your coplayers are about to face. You are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many ways we don't know what to say anymore. And it's not just cloud visions either.

You have another source.

I kind of remember when this page first dropped. Somehow I think I was surprised that Rose's FAQ turned up!

Hehehehehehehe.

AT: i JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, wHY,
AT: wE CAN'T DO THIS THE EASY WAY,
AG: What good would that do you?

Vriska's got a point. Unfortunately, she is just really bad at making a point without being a huge bitch, as was being discussed a couple pages ago.

Pshoooes!!!!

AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold.
AG: They cheat, Tavros.

Well, or miss the point, power through everything, and massively fuck up.

Boy howdy, this sure won't be awkward at all! But, hey, reference secured!

Spoiler:

> Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

Nope, not awkward!

Not at all!

Being a kid and growing up.

It's hard and nobody understands.
> Try to understand.

You guys can read about this yourselves. I'll take the liberty of skipping ahead a bit.

Well, except for this. Again, if there's anything Hussie regrets, I would bet coming up with a scenario that would lead to a crazed group of his fans asking to spit into a bucket would be right up there.

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA.

His name is derived from the river Eridanos, which was poured onto the Earth by Aquarius in Greek myth, and the amphora, a type of Greek vessel for carrying liquids which is often seen in depictions of Aquarius.

Spoiler:

Your name is FEFERI PEIXES.

Her first name comes from Metasepia pfefferi, a poisonous species of cuttlefish. Her last name is the Portuguese name for Pisces (as well as the Portuguese word for "Fishes"), and is pronounced PAY-shes.

HELL
FUCKING

YES

CC: So ok. T)(ose are your black leanings.
CC: W)(at about R-ED, ---- --Eridan???
CC: )(MMMMM??????? 38D
CA: oh god
CC: Is t)(ere a lucky lady you are waxing scarlet for?
CC: OR LUCKY F-ELLOW??? 38O
CA: uh
CC: Tell me!
CC: Don't pretend you're all -EMBARRASS-ED SUDD-ENLY!!!
CA: ok fef
CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

I've had this happen to me before and it sucks. I feel you on this one, Eridan.

:whistle:Queues up "She's a Sp8der":whistle:

As has been previously pointed out, this is comedy gold:

CC: Will you just clam up for once in your life?
CC: Always carping and carping and carping!
CC: You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can.
CC: I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.

When I need a chuckle, sometimes I just say "I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore" to myself. Really.
Poor Eridan though. This is really the first and only time I feel sorry for him though. Edit: Okay, second.

CG: OH GOD
CG: WHAT HAVE I DONE.
CG: SOLLUX?
CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S JUST HONEY.
CG: PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY
CG: HAHA, OK, MAKE-BELIEVE TIME IS OVER!
CG: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

I am slightly creeped out by this reference.

Goddamn troll kids. Every time you turn around they're smoochin' each other. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.

This looks like a good place to stop for the night! Next, Act 5 Act 1: the conclusion!

Spoiler:

Nerdgasmic · October 2011

I wonder if we'll see the suicide guy go god tier

quest bed all a large stump with harpoons stick out of each corner

Penny Arcade

MSPA: this is the end...the end of SSG dog racing

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