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Critical Failures

2456737

Posts

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    I play D&D.

    You attack the dragon for 40 HP.

    It dies.

    You journey home to a hero's welcome.

    The end.

    Uriel on
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    that's one helluva hit and one pussy dragon

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I wanna play an RPG but man.

    I gotta put a story together.

    Fucking... I'm not very good at that.

    Uriel on
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Wait Uriel do you mean you want to run one or what here?

    Straightzi on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

    Uriel on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Uriel wrote: »
    Fucking... I'm not very good at that.

    Most virgins aren't.

    Anyhow, the big rumor is that there will be two new Warhammer (40k) races. Instead of waiting to see what developes, I will instead start unrepentant speculation!

    I believe that the newest 40k race will be:
    Adeptus Mechanicus.

    It makes perfect sense. They could use pre-existing Imperial models and therefore would only have to come up with a portion of a new race. Further more, there could be spill-back of AM minis in pre-existing armies (meaning, I could use some of the new minis in my old army). Most of the mythology is already there and considering the amount of fluff GW has added to the AM since 4th, it seems odd to me that they wouldn't follow up with a new army.

    This is my theory. It probably won't end up being true, but at least it makes sense.

    Makes more sense than fucking Space Rat Men.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    is it too much to ask for Squats?

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Uriel wrote: »
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

    Why is it that you can't just play and have someone else run it?

    Straightzi on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

    Why is it that you can't just play and have someone else run it?

    I'm the only person I know with enough experience to run something, and I don't wanna get into a game with strangers, those aren't as fun.

    Uriel on
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    isn't this that horrible game where 'cunt shaft' size is an actual attribute?

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
    headphones2.jpg
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Bendery wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    isn't this that horrible game where 'cunt shaft' size is an actual attribute?

    vaginal depth

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    what

    Abracadaniel on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    what

    :3

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    The system, like other aspects of the game, was criticized for focusing on the most lurid aspects of violence, sexuality, and scatology, and of actualizing racism, sexist, homophobic, and other bigoted viewpoints. For example, characters have statistics for breast size, penis size, and anal and vaginal circumference, to determine how much damage is taken when characters are raped. In addition, weak men and unattractive women are more likely to be homosexual, and characters with very low intelligence have a chance of gaining a "retard strength" bonus. Certain magical items would cause characters to look and act like various racial stereotypes. Random rolls on tables for combat damage might result in characters receiving unlikely wounds such as a severed clitoris, while magical accidents might result in curses such as having fruit grow from one's genitals. Characters can also increase their skill in Urination, allowing them to urinate farther and more precisely.


    WHAT

    Abracadaniel on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    basically it is the best game ever

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I like the urination bit

    Straightzi on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Sounds like SE++ the RPG.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    That sounds awesome

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I am left agog.

    Fucking agog.

    Abracadaniel on
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Magog?

    Straightzi on
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    Magog?
    Kevin Sorbo lolol

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    no just the regular kind

    Abracadaniel on
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Oh okay.

    Also goddamn I am reading more of FATAL what the fuuuuuuck?

    Straightzi on
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    is it too much to ask for Squats?

    Not going to happen.
    Adeptus Mechanicus sounds plausable, simply because they're getting Battlefleet Gothic ships, but I'd still prefer something completely new.

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves

    not like spacewolves

    straight up werewolves

    it'll sell t-shirts

    Rankenphile on
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I will write a FATAL game for the forum to run if people really want to play it.

    Dex Dynamo on
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Apparently the site is dead and so I can't actually. I apologize for building up hopes.

    Dex Dynamo on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves

    not like spacewolves

    straight up werewolves

    it'll sell t-shirts
    What about Space Pimps? Now that would sell periphery merchandise.

    In the grim darkness of the far future, I gotsta get paid, son.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves already exist (wolfen from the 13th company)

    Anime Owns on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I want something to fill in the gap the Dark Eldar left.

    Something with pirates and slavers, but not as, you know, angry-at-my-step-dad all of the time.

    Actually, if they re-booted the DE and actually tried to make them work this time, I would be all for it.

    But that isn't happening.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Manifest I will take the boars and some Black Orks off you if you don't sell that.

    Also mounted warboss

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY EVERY DAYRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I believe that the newest 40k race will be:
    Adeptus Mechanicus.

    It makes perfect sense. They could use pre-existing Imperial models and therefore would only have to come up with a portion of a new race. Further more, there could be spill-back of AM minis in pre-existing armies (meaning, I could use some of the new minis in my old army). Most of the mythology is already there and considering the amount of fluff GW has added to the AM since 4th, it seems odd to me that they wouldn't follow up with a new army.

    This is my theory. It probably won't end up being true, but at least it makes sense.

    Makes more sense than fucking Space Rat Men.

    I would play the fuck out of them.
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    The system, like other aspects of the game, was criticized for focusing on the most lurid aspects of violence, sexuality, and scatology, and of actualizing racism, sexist, homophobic, and other bigoted viewpoints. For example, characters have statistics for breast size, penis size, and anal and vaginal circumference, to determine how much damage is taken when characters are raped. In addition, weak men and unattractive women are more likely to be homosexual, and characters with very low intelligence have a chance of gaining a "retard strength" bonus. Certain magical items would cause characters to look and act like various racial stereotypes. Random rolls on tables for combat damage might result in characters receiving unlikely wounds such as a severed clitoris, while magical accidents might result in curses such as having fruit grow from one's genitals. Characters can also increase their skill in Urination, allowing them to urinate farther and more precisely.


    WHAT

    I would play the fuck out of that.

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

    Straightzi on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Well, I mean, the retard strength thing is kind of funny.

    But seriously.

    "Okay, you take 2d4 damage from the ogre's dick impaling your 2inch anus"

    :|

    Abracadaniel on
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

    What you have, Quetzi?

    I need more of this:

    huntasgroup2.jpg

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Okay the Adeptus Mechanics just sounds like more Space Marines except with more Techmarines to me. I dunno.

    I want a knew race dammit.

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Quetzi wrote: »
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

    What you have, Quetzi?

    I need more of this:

    huntasgroup2.jpg

    I have Orcs, not Orks, so nevermind. That's what Mani has too though, last I checked.

    Straightzi on
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