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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

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Posts

  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    beagle coffee is delicious it's true.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    that one's like something on your wishlist

    which is a Manchester City coffee mug

    except beagles are better than soccer so I did you a solid

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    however, Amazon abbreviates the coffee mug's name to Man City coffee mug so it almost edged out the beagle mug

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Totally drinking some PG Tips from that mug later.

  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    oh hey somebody (from my family I assume, since my satan is broke) bought everything on my wishlist

    christmas saved

    Skull Man on
  • OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    paycheck received and deposited

    time to buy all the things for my satan

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    however, Amazon abbreviates the coffee mug's name to Man City coffee mug so it almost edged out the beagle mug

    I like the beagle mug just fine. Thanks for everything, and if there was something else you were wanting to send, don't get the man city scarf, my girlfriend's mom is getting me that.

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Also the box the mug came in was itself packaged in a much much larger box so now I have a box to ship my stuff out with.

    yay recycling

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I would have taken pictures but I was lazy today and my apartment is a mess.

  • MrDoctorProfessorMrDoctorProfessor Registered User regular
    thorgot wrote:
    What's this? A package from an address which looks to be from another planet, if not another dimension? The address certainly isn't in the USA. It can't be from anybody I know, because the heart is crossed out of Goody Bicon_heartbeat.gifx. I have crossed out real names and addresses because this is a den of amoral behavior and sin.
    txLpu.jpg

    Ah! It's a gift! From Spookymuffin. So exciting!
    LrEvf.jpg

    A beautiful card. I still have no idea what country this is from, but using my considerable powers of deduction I am beginning to suspect it is in Asia.
    JtRE0.jpg
    ckjuK.jpg

    Here things get strange. Spookymuffin has grafted the heads of adorable animals to sticks and then encased them in chocolate. In addition, he has sent a rectangular apple, which must blossom in his country for him to part with them. Most peculiar! You can also see the nice wrapping paper in the corner, also covered in adorable animals. Could this generous person be hiding something sinister?
    DGPOO.jpg

    I've never had pocky, but I can only imagine this is what it looks like. Also some sort of Aloe liquid, which I will either rub all over myself or imbibe depending on my mood.
    pLLUw.jpg

    I have discovered yet more atrocities committed by Spookymuffin. This time he has taken people and somehow transformed them into delicious chocolate candy. Note: He forgot to cross out the hearts on these, revealing his true feelings for me.
    mODsA.jpg

    Finally, something I recognize. Inside this package must be some "Fresh Potato & French Fries."
    1rFn2.jpg

    In a stunning twist after all the other food, inside is a pin and a tassel, finally revealing the country of origin and allowing me to pretend I knew what language that was all along. (It was Korean?)
    eJnsz.jpg

    Everything. After this picture I immediately devoured whatever was in the finger pointing tube. I don't know what it was but it was delicious.
    iWu8V.jpg

    Thanks, Spookymuffin!

    That aloe juice was my lifeblood while I was in Korea. That and some weird white drink that was put out by Pepsi that I have no clue what it was called.

    noAZAb5.png?1
    Hey Satan!
    Post
    Amazon
    Steam
  • spookymuffinspookymuffin ( ° ʖ ° ) Puyallup WA Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    That aloe juice is like crack cocaine, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get that when I leave here. Glad you liked it, thorgot, but you're not done yet...

    Also, I just realized that the card I sent had Japanese on the front and Korean on the inside. Tacky...

    spookymuffin on
    PSN: MegaSpooky // 3DS: 3797-6276-7138
    Wii U NNID: MegaSpooky
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Grandma Winky's fat ankles Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Also the box the mug came in was itself packaged in a much much larger box

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l71gaZnYgOU

    EyQGd.jpg
  • OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    oh my god, aloe drink is wonderful

    especially on a sore throat

  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    aloe drink really is pretty great

    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • MrDoctorProfessorMrDoctorProfessor Registered User regular
    This is my other favorite drink from Korea
    ambasa-1.jpg

    noAZAb5.png?1
    Hey Satan!
    Post
    Amazon
    Steam
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Iron Man bobble-head is on station next to my monitor.

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    Margarazzi wrote: »

    I find that way funnier than it has any right being.

    And feel better soon Neville! There's never a good time to be vomiting blood (no matter what they told me, it was a lie) or pushing a fever like that.

    Anyway, I got an email earlier today from Amazon regarding a certain package I'd ordered for a certain someone a week and a half ago.

    I won't bore you with all the details, but a key snippet is found at the start;
    We're writing about the order you placed on November 28, 2011.
    OnTrac let us know that the package was either lost in transit or damaged and as a result, it won't be delivered.

    ... oh for fuck's sake.

    That said, I've always found Amazon's customer service to be pretty exemplary, but it's annoying to go from "oooh, my package should be delivered Monday or Tuesday" to "whelp, they seem to have dropped it in a pit..."

    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    hey satan

    http://amzn.com/w/2IIZ7IY7FA0GB
    updated my wishlist

    removed things i already have or things i'm likely getting, and things that i either don't want so much anymore or things that are too outlandishly expensive

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    I like how they basically said that you're fucked and didn't address actually replacing the lost item.

    Blake T on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    I like how they basically said that you're fucked and didn't address actually replacing the lost item.

    There's more to it that mentions contacting them to make it right, but I figured that was the pertinent part.

    Oh well, guess I'll talk to them tomorrow and see if I can't get this straightened out.

    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Grandma Winky's fat ankles Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Forar wrote: »
    it's annoying to go from "oooh, my package should be delivered Monday or Tuesday" to "whelp, they seem to have dropped it in a pit..."

    I laughed stupidly hard at that.

    First off, I love the word "whelp" in this context.

    ThreeCubed on
    EyQGd.jpg
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Margarazzi wrote:
    Forar wrote: »
    it's annoying to go from "oooh, my package should be delivered Monday or Tuesday" to "whelp, they seem to have dropped it in a pit..."

    I laughed stupidly hard at that.

    First off, I love the word "whelp" in this context.

    The pit did have whelps in it yes

    Naphtali on
    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
  • SchideSchide Yeoh! Registered User regular
    Ok so I got a couple games from Amazon from my Satan like, last friday I think? And it said there was another game shipped separately, apparently on the same day, but I still haven't gotten it. My Satan might want to check up on that if they haven't already.

  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    That aloe juice is like crack cocaine, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get that when I leave here. Glad you liked it, thorgot, but you're not done yet...

    Also, I just realized that the card I sent had Japanese on the front and Korean on the inside. Tacky...

    Gonna go chew on my aloe OH GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE WHAT HAVE I DONE?

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    That aloe juice is like crack cocaine, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get that when I leave here. Glad you liked it, thorgot, but you're not done yet...

    Also, I just realized that the card I sent had Japanese on the front and Korean on the inside. Tacky...

    Gonna go chew on my aloe OH GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE WHAT HAVE I DONE?

    thing to remember is that the juice is mostly other juices and a bunch of sugar. With aloe chunks and squeezings.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • spookymuffinspookymuffin ( ° ʖ ° ) Puyallup WA Registered User regular
    Aloe squeezins, Yum! =d

    PSN: MegaSpooky // 3DS: 3797-6276-7138
    Wii U NNID: MegaSpooky
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    That aloe juice is like crack cocaine, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get that when I leave here. Glad you liked it, thorgot, but you're not done yet...

    Also, I just realized that the card I sent had Japanese on the front and Korean on the inside. Tacky...

    Gonna go chew on my aloe OH GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE WHAT HAVE I DONE?

    That's not Japanese, it's Chinese. Well, Hanja. I can't help you much with the meaning. @SabreMau might be able to.

    On the inside all of the major nouns are also in Chinese but the gist seems to be, "to give to last year's ~~~ deep ~~, to greet the new year, to more and more ~~~ and ~~~ remain together, ~~~."

    That last bit could be a phrase like "May ~~~ never lessen." I'm pretty sure I mangled it. But I have no idea what the Hanja letters are, sooo.

    If you want I could find out!

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Oh man, are we playing a game of hangman?

  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    "hymn" for hangman president always and forever.

    My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Yes

    We are now

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    Your clue is "pizza"

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    D

    (also how did your exams go?)

  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    "Zephyr" "Fjord" and "Lye" are all good too.

    My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    No D!

    headry.jpg

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    Your clue is "pizza"

    Also I passed! Everything! I didn't even pass very badly! Thanks for asking! I was out of my mind about it for about four days straight.

    How's the food poisoning?

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Oooh Fjord.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Also I passed! Everything! I didn't even pass very badly! Thanks for asking! I was out of my mind about it for about four days straight.

    woooooooo!

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Well gee that sure did knock out my guess of Donatello.

    E

    It's fine now, I moved onto rice porridge Monday evening then got into real food by Tuesday. I even got to go climbing again last night so I'm happy enough.

    Blake T on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    That's good, I figured somebody had stabbed you in the leg with an umbrella and you were a goner due to your past as a KGB agent.

    Hey Orik, how's you doin?

    headry.jpg

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E

    Your clue is "pizza"

    Guessed: D

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    i hope @Sweeney Toms package comes tomorrow becauuuuse i want it!!

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    The closest I came to that story was viv attacking me with the vaccuum this morning.

    U

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
This discussion has been closed.