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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

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Posts

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Whoever didn't think Marg was Sal's Satan, you are dumb

    WORLD WRAPPING CHAMP

  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Year of the Hare
    13th of December

    Dearest friends,

    With the hunting season drawn to a close there has been precious little of curiosity of late. The long dark of winter envelops the land, shortening the days and leaves adventures of valor to mull the year’s events in their halls by night, comforted by the warmth of their fires that push back the Ice King’s fingers of frost nipping at their heels. It goes without my saying that one would rather venture forth into the wilds then stand to in their chambers, cordoned in by winter’s white prison. Of course, one not always needs to seek out glory to have a story to tell! And so begins my tale.

    In the midst of ferrying my dearest sister’s worldly belongings from her home in the wilds of Plaistow to my estate in the valley, a courier arrived with two packages, addressed to myself.
    ss2011_01.jpg

    He left without a word, simply leaving them at the west side of the manor house. We had been in the midst of moving dear sister’s supremely heavy mattress into the homestead (how does a material that is as soft as a cloud feel heavier then stone? A riddle for the ages), so I had no inclination to investigate the unexpected containers until our toil had been completed, as dear sister’s furniture appeared to be multiplying in our absence from the carriage. But that is a story for another time…

    Much later in the day, as I reclined and rested from my troubles the memory of the strange packages crept back into my skull. With renewed vigor I delved into the first box, which despite signs of distress had all of its contents still intact.
    ss2011_02.jpg

    A note was found within:
    ss2011_03.jpgss2011_04.jpg

    Naphtali,

    Contained within your two packages, you will find supplies which I hope will come in handy during your adventures, whether you need a pack, a sword, some health and mana, or some gold! (if the gold melts… let me know and I’ll gladly replace the affected items…)

    Enjoy! And have a Merry Christmas!

    Sincerely, your friend
    godmode

    PS: The Life Savers Storybook has been a tradition in my family for stocking stuffers and they’re my personal favorite, I hope you like it!


    The mystery gift-giver now had a name! Sir @godmode! What an unexpected boon to have received such bounty from a noblemen such as him.

    The box contained the following treasures:
    ss2011_05.jpg

    Ah! Board games to help pass the time in the long winter months! No doubt these contain tales inspired by the adventures of Sir godmode himself! Truly a blessing. My kin and I shall use them to sharpen our intellect before setting out once again at the first thaw of spring.
    ss2011_06.jpg

    Next in the box was a Bag of Holding! How could he have known my old bag had been torn asunder by the Redcap my kin and I had fought last spring? Within it I found even more treasure. The three side pouches contained,
    ss2011_07.jpg

    Dice forged by elves and dragons,
    ss2011_08a.jpgss2011_08b.jpg

    A Critical Hit die with a health potion (very handy),
    ss2011_09.jpg

    A mana potion along with several pieces of gold! And if you thought Sir godmode’s generosity ended there, well, what a fool you’d be!
    ss2011_10.jpg

    The main pouch was stuffed full of even more gold and potions! My expeditions for the spring are already paid for in full, and well stocked! However underneath them all I found…
    ss2011_11.jpg

    What a strange item? No doubt it is meant to train for skill on the field of battle, but the soldier wields a weapon I have never seen before and the container is covered in strange glyphs. I trust my alchemist can decipher what magic this item embodies, but a gift is a gift none the less.

    After tailing up my gifts, I noticed a few mentioned by the note unaccounted for. Digging back into the box I found…
    ss2011_12.jpgss2011_12b.jpg

    Ah! The precious familial keepsake! Delicious candies and a heartfelt story inside. A wonderful gift. All that remained missing was the sword… of course! The other box!
    ss2011_13a.jpg

    Upon opening the final package, a smaller box was contained within. Could it be…
    ss2011_13b.jpgss2011_13c.jpgss2011_13d.jpg

    Yes! A marvelous long sword. The craftsmanship of it appears to be of a high caliber, but the blade itself is made of a strange metal… some sort of starmetal? Quite exquisite.

    ss2011_14.jpg
    Words cannot fully capture my gratitude towards Sir godmode for this amazing bounty. He is truly one of the finest knight’s the land has ever known, or will ever know.


    TL;DR RP

    While helping my sister move back home today some packages arrived, I was too busy to look at them until later. When I finally remember about them after all the chaos, I discovered all the amazing and really well thought out gifts @godmode got me! I’m gonna play the heck out of those D&D board games with my friends, probably share all the gold bullion with my coworkers because there’s no way I can eat all that candy, but I’ll save the lifesavers for myself. And I’ll totally use the backpack for carrying… something! Probably at least ferry dice & other belongings to and from Pendragon games my cousin’s group has been running. And I have never had an actual sword before, going to have to look up how to maintain them (the blade was covered in a ton of oil that I cleaned off of it to start, but the scabbard is pretty well lubricated now from it). And Battlefield was a nice gift, my friends have been nagging me to get it and now I don’t have an excuse. Thank you so much @godmode, everything you got me was awesome!

    Naphtali on
    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
  • IsoldaeIsoldae Hats Off To JigglypuffRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Sal's beartato is among the top tier of all beartatos.

    Look at all his neat hats!

    Isoldae on
    xet8c.gif
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    wow, awesome giftings, @godmode !

    nevillexmassig1.png
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    haha I like how there is a big pile of "gold" and "potions"

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpg
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Phew, glad you got it! I feared it might have been taken by the wilderness outside your front porch!

  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Sorry about the picture quality, all I had handy was my cellphone, my camera's battery was dead :/

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Super jelly

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • ZayZay yes i am zay Registered User regular
    Dang, an actual sword? That's pretty damn cool.

    sthbuf0g7b7y.png
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    I see my sataning was a complete success... most excellent...

    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Grandma Winky's fat ankles Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Margarazzi your poems were so entertaining! Plus they look like they are on such nice paper. I am weird about stationary.

    (Weird like :winky: )

    Actually, it was just colored copy paper from Staples. I'm glad it looks good in photos, though.

    Sheri wrote: »
    Whoever didn't think Marg was Sal's Satan, you are dumb

    WORLD WRAPPING CHAMP
    I wondered if that would give me away.

    ThreeCubed on
    EyQGd.jpg
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Grandma Winky's fat ankles Registered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    TL;DR RP

    While helping my sister move back home today some packages arrived, I was too busy to look at them until later. When I finally remember about them after all the chaos, I discovered all the amazing and really well thought out gifts @godmode got me! I’m gonna play the heck out of those D&D board games with my friends, probably share all the gold bullion with my coworkers because there’s no way I can eat all that candy, but I’ll save the lifesavers for myself. And I’ll totally use the backpack for carrying… something! Probably at least ferry dice & other belongings to and from Pendragon games my cousin’s group has been running. And I have never had an actual sword before, going to have to look up how to maintain them (the blade was covered in a ton of oil that I cleaned off of it to start, but the scabbard is pretty well lubricated now from it). And Battlefield was a nice gift, my friends have been nagging me to get it and now I don’t have an excuse. Thank you so much @godmode, everything you got me was awesome!

    Holy crap! Awesome gifts and awesome way to show them off!!!

    EyQGd.jpg
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Grandma Winky's fat ankles Registered User regular
    Aeyther :arrow: Orikaeshigitae/1.5

    Bucketman :arrow: MetroidZoid

    BusterK :arrow: Sara Lynn/2

    Caulk Bite 6 :arrow: Centipede Damascus/2

    chrishallett83 :arrow: #pipe/2/3 :arrow: Platypus Beirut :arrow: Gatsby

    End :arrow: godmode/2/3/4 :arrow: Naphtali :arrow: . (plut)

    Feebsicle :arrow: Veretas/2

    George Fornby Grill :arrow: Ten :arrow: sarukun

    Isoldae :arrow: TankHammer

    Staleghoti :arrow: Kadith :arrow: skettios

    Keith :arrow: Weaver/2/3

    Legba :arrow: zucchini/2/3/4

    Lost Salient arrows.gifBlake T/1.5/2

    Margarazzi :arrow: Sal/2/3 :arrow: Uriel :arrow: Aphostile

    Marth :arrow: Okami/2/3

    MoosehatIV :arrow: ceres/2

    Moriveth :arrow: Rolo/2

    Munkus Beaver :arrow: B. C.

    Perrsun :arrow: BYToady/2

    PRD :arrow: Mint :arrow: A Duck!

    Robert Khoo :arrow: BEAST! :arrow: Theidar :arrow: neville/2/3 :arrow: Forar/2

    ShimSham :arrow: Stale/2 :arrow: Romanian My Escutcheon

    Skull Man :arrow: PkErthbnd

    SLyM :arrow: Usagi

    Spookymuffin :arrow: thorgot :arrow: Slacker71/2 :arrow: Nogs

    Tef :arrow: KetBra

    The Lovely Bastard :arrow: Tox/2/3 :arrow: lostwords/2 :arrow: Sweeney Tom :arrow: Kusuguttai/2/3/4/5

    The_reflection :arrow: Antimatter :arrow: Wombat!!/2/3/4

    Vivixenne :arrow: That Dave Fella

    ??? :arrow: Mortal Sky :arrow: Schide/2 :arrow: Kwoaru

    ??? :arrow: QuickSnap :arrow: Goose!

    ??? (riddlehero) :arrow: Smart Hero/2

    ??? :arrow: The Geebs That Is A Pony

    ??? :arrow: vermiculture

    ??? :arrow: VisionOfClarity

    ??? :arrow: Zay :arrow: Hunter/2/3 :arrow: CrackedLens

    ??? :arrow: Zonugal

    I'll wait a couple more hours before sending this off to Neville.

    EyQGd.jpg
  • riddleheroriddlehero Registered User regular
    Riddle me this, who should check his twitter messages for his clue to his next gift? If you guessed @smarthero you're correct. Please mock him on here for me.

  • IsoldaeIsoldae Hats Off To JigglypuffRegistered User regular
    I did not guess smart hero.

    xet8c.gif
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    riddlehero wrote:
    Riddle me this, who should check his twitter messages for his clue to his next gift? If you guessed @smarthero you're correct. Please mock him on here for me.

    I really, really hope you reveal yourself by the end of it all.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • riddleheroriddlehero Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Tox wrote:
    riddlehero wrote:
    Riddle me this, who should check his twitter messages for his clue to his next gift? If you guessed @smarthero you're correct. Please mock him on here for me.

    I really, really hope you reveal yourself by the end of it all.

    I will reveal who I am to you and you alone @Tox.

    THIS SPOILER REVEALS WHO I AM, ONLY @TOX SHOULD CLICK ON THIS
    11238-krahulik_large.jpg

    riddlehero on
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    HOLY SHIT

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    DON'T FALL FOR IT

    IT'S A TRAP

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i know who riddlehero is

  • IsoldaeIsoldae Hats Off To JigglypuffRegistered User regular
    riddlehero is all of us.

    riddlehero is none of us.

    xet8c.gif
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    The sheer radiance....

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • riddleheroriddlehero Registered User regular
    While we wait for our blundering bat-dan, how'd you guys like to win another steam game? I'm feeling sporting. The best riddle posted with answer, will receive a cheap free steam game. And what's more, my secret identity early.

  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    I am still dazed over getting a sword

    That was probably the last thing I ever expected as a gift

    "Whaaaaatttttwooaaaahhhhhhhhh cool!"

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Secret identity!

    I wish I had a secret identity. And also a mysterious benefactor. And a secret lair.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    ...and a pony.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    I have a riddle.

    Who is a slut who is not my mother?
    Your mother.

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Most people just wish for height Sandra, and bunnies. And balls.

  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Bunnies poop everywhere and are not very nice.

    Height would give me less reason to wear high heels.

    And as far as balls go it would depend on which kind of ball we are discussing.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    riddlehero wrote:
    While we wait for our blundering bat-dan, how'd you guys like to win another steam game? I'm feeling sporting. The best riddle posted with answer, will receive a cheap free steam game. And what's more, my secret identity early.

    Can we steal riddles from our favorite novels?

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    I'm going to wear heels to look tall!

    Not too tall though.

  • riddleheroriddlehero Registered User regular
    godmode wrote:
    riddlehero wrote:
    While we wait for our blundering bat-dan, how'd you guys like to win another steam game? I'm feeling sporting. The best riddle posted with answer, will receive a cheap free steam game. And what's more, my secret identity early.

    Can we steal riddles from our favorite novels?

    Doesn't matter, as long as everyone's having fun. So far Blake's in the lead.

  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    What goes up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up?
    An umbrella

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i've got a rhyme that comes in a riddle
    what's round on the ends and high in the middle?

  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    What walks on 4 feet, then 2 feet, then 3 feet?
    No, it's not man...
    It's a baby.
    You just chop off appendages as appropriate!!
    "Riddle" stolen from the Joker.

    nevillexmassig1.png
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Anti that is one of my favourites.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Antimatter wrote:
    i've got a rhyme that comes in a riddle
    what's round on the ends and high in the middle?

    OHIO

  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Anti that is one of my favourites.

    <3

  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    Holy shit Naph!! Those are rad omg!! I MEAN A SWORD. Holysnaps.

  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    I arch, yet have no back, what am I?
    A bow.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
This discussion has been closed.