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Those Enzyte Commercials

DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
edited June 2007 in Social Entropy++
So there was an ad on for those "natural male enhancement" pills.

The Enzyte ones are the variety with "Bob", that ever-smiling guy who goes around doing activities that are suggestive while his neighbors look on jealously.

And the ad says you can get a free "Smilin' Bob" t-shirt if you call. Man, it's so cheesy I'm almost tempted to see if I can get one. But I suppose you have to prove you have "E.D." first or something.

DarkPrimus on
Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
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Posts

  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I would wear that.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User
    edited June 2007
    two pages in the E.D. thread before one post in my game on thread, guaranteed

    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    "Just stick your dick on the phone"

    "Like...like this?"

    "No, on the part you speak into."

    "Oh, OK. How about now?"

    "There you go. OK, sir, luckily for you, you do qualify. Actually...with that size, we might as well give you two."

    Picture1-4.png
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    "Just stick your dick on the phone"

    "Like...like this?"

    "No, on the part you speak into."

    "Oh, OK. How about now?"

    "There you go. OK, sir, luckily for you, you do qualify. Actually...with that size, we might as well give you two."

    Wait, who speaks in to their penis?

  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.

    Is that what those commercials are for?
    They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.

  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    MKR wrote: »
    "Just stick your dick on the phone"

    "Like...like this?"

    "No, on the part you speak into."

    "Oh, OK. How about now?"

    "There you go. OK, sir, luckily for you, you do qualify. Actually...with that size, we might as well give you two."

    Wait, who speaks in to their penis?

    The part of the phone you speak into.

    Picture1-4.png
  • redstormpopcornredstormpopcorn Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Manifest wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.
    Is that what those commercials are for?
    They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.
    That's because they'd get the everloving shit sued out of them and have the FDA hammer dropped if they claimed it did anything specific.

    emot-kamina.gif BELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF emot-kamina.gif
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Manifest wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.
    Is that what those commercials are for?
    They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.
    That's because they'd get the everloving shit sued out of them and have the FDA hammer dropped if they claimed it did anything specific.

    Yeah, I assumed as much, but I still didn't know what the fuck it was for.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    Those commercials made me laugh way, way harder when I realized that the dude is basically pretending to be a big smilin' boner.

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    You don't have to mention the side affects of your drug if you don't actually state what it does.

    "I'm not an actor, and I'm not telling you to buy Represtrinal VX, what I am saying is to ask your doctor if Represtrinal VX might be right for you."

    Represtrinal VX side effects include possible diziness, nausea and penis implosion.

  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Manifest wrote: »
    Manifest wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.
    Is that what those commercials are for?
    They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.
    That's because they'd get the everloving shit sued out of them and have the FDA hammer dropped if they claimed it did anything specific.

    Yeah, I assumed as much, but I still didn't know what the fuck it was for.

    And now that you know what then? Cuz they give discounts on bulk orders. PM me if you wanna figure something out.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • LurkerLurker Registered User
    edited June 2007
    What about the late night ones with Ron Jeremy or the big nippled whore?

    fulljokerempireeditcs5lqt7.jpg
  • jwalkjwalk frosty Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I love watching TV with my friend's 13 year old daughter and they start talking about "if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours".

    OH NO THAT'S NOT AWKWARD.. OH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    guys

    priapism is scary

  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    Manifest wrote: »
    Manifest wrote: »
    Butters wrote: »
    You don't have to prove you have ED. You have to prove your donger's current size isn't satisfactory.
    Is that what those commercials are for?
    They're so fucking ambiguous I could never tell if it was erectile dysfunction, or cock extending pills.
    That's because they'd get the everloving shit sued out of them and have the FDA hammer dropped if they claimed it did anything specific.

    Yeah, I assumed as much, but I still didn't know what the fuck it was for.

    And now that you know what then? Cuz they give discounts on bulk orders. PM me if you wanna figure something out.

    Okay but we have to use your credit card.

  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    jwalk wrote: »
    I love watching TV with my friend's 13 year old daughter and they start talking about "if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours".

    OH NO THAT'S NOT AWKWARD.. OH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH

    and she's all "yeah you don't have that problem you don't even last five minutes"

    stupid bitch

    2mzmv83.jpg
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    jwalk wrote: »
    I love watching TV with my friend's 13 year old daughter and they start talking about "if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours".

    OH NO THAT'S NOT AWKWARD.. OH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH

    Yeah, getting a massive erection from those commercials while sitting right next to your friend's 13-year-old daughter is not something you want your friend to see.

    Picture1-4.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    man, like a year ago I got in my buddy's car and accidentally kicked one of those padded envelopes as I was getting in. Three big bottles of Enzyte came rolling out.

    I just kind of froze, waiting to laugh and watching how he'd respond. He looked back, saw them, saw me frozen about to crack the fuck up and blurted out, "I just requested the sample, man, and they keep sending me bottles of them! Serious!"

    I fucking lost it right then. Yeah. These guys just keep accidentally sending you three big fucking bottles of dick pills. Whoooops.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    jwalk wrote: »
    I love watching TV with my friend's 13 year old daughter and they start talking about "if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours".

    OH NO THAT'S NOT AWKWARD.. OH YES THANK YOU SO MUCH

    Yeah, getting a massive erection from those commercials while sitting right next to your friend's 13-year-old daughter is not something you want your friend to see.

    At least you can blame it on the commercials this time.

  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY EVERY DAYRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Those commercials made me laugh way, way harder when I realized that the dude is basically pretending to be a big smilin' boner.

    i call him "Boner Johnson"

    xcomsig.png
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    there's one of those commercials where he is meeting with japanese business partners and stuff

    and i was watching it with a buddy of mine and he's like "man, please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is like subtly racist and propagating the japanese men have tiny dicks stereotype."

    and you know

    i didn't really think about it till he pointed it out

  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    man, like a year ago I got in my buddy's car and accidentally kicked one of those padded envelopes as I was getting in. Three big bottles of Enzyte came rolling out.

    I just kind of froze, waiting to laugh and watching how he'd respond. He looked back, saw them, saw me frozen about to crack the fuck up and blurted out, "I just requested the sample, man, and they keep sending me bottles of them! Serious!"

    I fucking lost it right then. Yeah. These guys just keep accidentally sending you three big fucking bottles of dick pills. Whoooops.

    So he keeps them in his car. You know, just in case.

    Picture1-4.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    I love that the little case of pills they show on the end of the commercial have a picture of a race car on them.

    Like, not a nature scene or a giant boner looking tree or rock or the washington monument or something

    a god damned formula one car

    I just love the implication

  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY EVERY DAYRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    there's one of those commercials where he is meeting with japanese business partners and stuff

    and i was watching it with a buddy of mine and he's like "man, please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is like subtly racist and propagating the japanese men have tiny dicks stereotype."

    and you know

    i didn't really think about it till he pointed it out

    asians have smallers penises than most other races on average :arrow:

    xcomsig.png
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Their women also have sideways vaginas.

    Picture1-4.png
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    there's one of those commercials where he is meeting with japanese business partners and stuff

    and i was watching it with a buddy of mine and he's like "man, please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is like subtly racist and propagating the japanese men have tiny dicks stereotype."

    and you know

    i didn't really think about it till he pointed it out

    I always found that commercial odd fucked up too. The big American dong walking in to the meeting showing the little wangs what's what.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Butters wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    there's one of those commercials where he is meeting with japanese business partners and stuff

    and i was watching it with a buddy of mine and he's like "man, please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks this commercial is like subtly racist and propagating the japanese men have tiny dicks stereotype."

    and you know

    i didn't really think about it till he pointed it out

    I always found that commercial odd fucked up too. The big American dong walking in to the meeting showing the little wangs what's what.

    yeah

    i didn't even notice it till it was pointed out to me and then i was like "huh, that seems screwy."

  • unpurposedunpurposed Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Their women also have sideways vaginas.

    One of my friends actually convinced this really gullible guy that this was actually true for about 2 weeks until he asked one of his Asian girl friends.

    I listened to the conversation and couldn't stop laughing the whole time.

    The same guy also managed to convince him that cock-fighting didn't involve roosters, but rather penises.
    The story went that the "art form" originated in Russia, where guys would have their hands tied behind their backs and the battle would begin. Also, there was a sort of coat of armor for the little guys, consisting of razor blades tied on to inflict damage.

  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    The fact that Enzyte makes enough money that they can advertise on TV implies a seriously fucked-up psychology on the part of our society in general.

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    unpurposed wrote: »
    Their women also have sideways vaginas.

    One of my friends actually convinced this really gullible guy that this was actually true for about 2 weeks until he asked one of his Asian girl friends.

    Oh I would have loved to have seen that conversation.

    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS
    edited June 2007
    i wonder how those commercials have affected that actor's life

    i wouldn't let him near children myself

    singingbabies-1.gif
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    He reminds me of Oswald from that drew carey show.

    9PZnq.png
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    i wonder how those commercials have affected that actor's life

    i wouldn't let him near children myself

    He's probably loaded and every woman he meets assumes he has an enormous penis. How bad can his life really be?

    Picture1-4.png
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    That assumption seems completely unfounded. I wouldn't even guess that he has a large penis.

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS
    edited June 2007
    yeah what does erectile dysfunction have to do with penis size

    singingbabies-1.gif
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    He probably has a free lifetime supply. And if he is willing to advertise for them, I would think he's comfortable enough using the product. Thereby leading us to assume he either already has a large penis or Enzyte has given him a big donger anyway.

    Those commercials are still much better than those commercials for that other shit where it's an old guy in a bar, he looks at some hot twenty-something, nods to the exit, then they walk out together. Then the bitch is like all excited he's gotta use dick pills.

    Edit: Oh wait, I thought Enzyte was a penis enlarger.

    Picture1-4.png
  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS
    edited June 2007
    i think you just want to believe he has a large penis
    i'm thinking comrade thinks bob is dreamy

    singingbabies-1.gif
  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS
    edited June 2007
    nah it's a quality thing
    not quantity

    that'd be neat
    a quantity of penises

    singingbabies-1.gif
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    i think you just want to believe he has a large penis
    i'm thinking comrade thinks bob is dreamy

    Oh Bob, give me your big boost of confidence!

    [/homoeroticism]

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