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Humans- Nature's Anti-Shark

NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
edited June 2007 in Singularity Engine++
Fuck sharks. They ain’t no match for the king of all beasts, Homo sapiens sapiens. Shit, humans are so good they named them ‘sapiens’ twice.

shark-cage-diving.jpg

Yeah look, here is a shark that could tear this diver into two pieces, if the diver wasn’t in a cage and didn’t have shark-proof armour on him. Or if he didn’t have a harpoon. Or a knife.

Maybe the shark could work out how to open the cage, if he had opposable thumbs and a brain that was used for anything other than ballast.

battlingastupidshark.jpg

Well, to be fair, the sharks have only had about 450 million years to evolve anything that could beat humans on any level. Shit, in 1/2250 of the time it took sharks to not do any evolving whatsoever, humans have made fire, culture, farming, art, religion, mathematics, science, philosophy, medicine, writing, guns, TV, the internet, computers, split the atom, reached the highest mountain, explored more than 99% of the earth, gone to the moon, made nuclear weapons, and created music. Nice try sharks, but in a pissing contest, we got you beat like a cheap hooker.


Sharks are spineless pussies. They don’t even have proper bones, they have cartilage. That’s like Styrofoam packing for bones. Humans have bones that can resist a bullet from a fucking gun. What’s more, if humans stop moving for a second, we don’t die, because we aren’t stupid enough to forget how to breathe. Nice going sharks, your intelligence is right up there with learning how not to choke on your own spit.


Sharks only inhabit 30% of the world’s oceans, and humans live anywhere they want. Sharks kill 5 humans a year because they mistake them for seals- humans kill up to 73 million sharks a year because they mistake them for something that might taste good.

Fuck sharks.

let's talk about humans.

Nuzak on
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Posts

  • Iron WeaselIron Weasel Dillon! You son of a bitch!Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I think you are misinformed.

    For example, I (a human) want to live at the bottom of the sea.

    But I can't.

    Because that there's shark territory.

    Currently Playing:
    Crusader Kings 2, FTL, X-COM: Enemy Within, Various Boardgames
    GT/Twitter: Tanith 6227
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  • Frosted ButtsFrosted Butts Registered User
    edited June 2007
    I believe the man Philip K Dick had something to say on this topic:

    "Fish cannot carry guns"

    lion1si5.jpg
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  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2007
    I think you done good, Nuzak.

    gusinrepose.png
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  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Some day sharks will evolve lasers, and you'll be sorry.

    yes hello this is blog
    Latest: New adventures in League of Legends
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  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    the whole 'sharks die if they stop moving thing' is a common misconception.

    headphones2.jpg
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  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Bendery wrote: »
    the whole 'sharks die if they stop moving thing' is a common misconception.

    Lots of incorrect stuff gets spread by people spamming their friends with "List of facts" things.

    I mean has anyone gone and checked to see if every dolphin is not enjoying sex? Someone needs to spread one of these "Fact lists" with sources cited.

    yes hello this is blog
    Latest: New adventures in League of Legends
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  • ZoolanderZoolander Registered User
    edited June 2007
    A++ would read again

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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    the problem with humans is they are their own worst enemy

    islandsig_zpslbuqorr3.jpg
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  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2007
    bsjezz wrote: »
    the problem with humans is they are their own worst enemy
    If it weren't for the pesky other races everything would be ok.

    gusinrepose.png
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  • LarlarLarlar Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited June 2007
    MKR wrote: »
    Some day sharks will evolve lasers, and you'll be sorry.

    So it's the sharks we'll have to thank for phasers. Now I love sharks.

    iwantanswers3.png
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Cutting lasers and weapons grade light emissions


    that's what's going to win this war on terrorism.

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  • LarlarLarlar Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited June 2007
    That, and tiny cocktail sandwiches.

    iwantanswers3.png
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  • sarukunsarukun Gornlord Interplanetary InsanitariumRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    That, and tiny cocktail sandwiches.

    The perfect bait.




    Man, the only problem with baiting a trap with tiny cocktail sandwiches is that I would keep going out into that empy field to eat the sandwhiches and spring the lasers on myself every time.

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  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I believe the man Philip K Dick had something to say on this topic:

    "Fish cannot carry guns"

    cause they dont need em. obviously.

    scarab you have mental problems
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