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Humans- Nature's Anti-Shark

NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
edited June 2007 in Singularity Engine++
Fuck sharks. They ain’t no match for the king of all beasts, Homo sapiens sapiens. Shit, humans are so good they named them ‘sapiens’ twice.


Yeah look, here is a shark that could tear this diver into two pieces, if the diver wasn’t in a cage and didn’t have shark-proof armour on him. Or if he didn’t have a harpoon. Or a knife.

Maybe the shark could work out how to open the cage, if he had opposable thumbs and a brain that was used for anything other than ballast.


Well, to be fair, the sharks have only had about 450 million years to evolve anything that could beat humans on any level. Shit, in 1/2250 of the time it took sharks to not do any evolving whatsoever, humans have made fire, culture, farming, art, religion, mathematics, science, philosophy, medicine, writing, guns, TV, the internet, computers, split the atom, reached the highest mountain, explored more than 99% of the earth, gone to the moon, made nuclear weapons, and created music. Nice try sharks, but in a pissing contest, we got you beat like a cheap hooker.

Sharks are spineless pussies. They don’t even have proper bones, they have cartilage. That’s like Styrofoam packing for bones. Humans have bones that can resist a bullet from a fucking gun. What’s more, if humans stop moving for a second, we don’t die, because we aren’t stupid enough to forget how to breathe. Nice going sharks, your intelligence is right up there with learning how not to choke on your own spit.

Sharks only inhabit 30% of the world’s oceans, and humans live anywhere they want. Sharks kill 5 humans a year because they mistake them for seals- humans kill up to 73 million sharks a year because they mistake them for something that might taste good.

Fuck sharks.

let's talk about humans.

Nuzak on


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