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[Internet Dating] "Who is your favorite duck?" and other dating questions

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Posts

  • SicariiSicarii The Roose is Loose Registered User regular
    lizardloop wrote:
    Same here. I usually build up a list of about 5 to 10 people and then spend the next week coming up with opening messages for each of them. As I send off the messages I remove them from the list.

    Holy shit you are putting way too much effort into this. I literally just find something interesting in their profile and tell a humorous story or anecdote relating to it. I spend like 5 minutes tops.

    gotsig.jpg
  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    Sicarii wrote:
    lizardloop wrote:
    Same here. I usually build up a list of about 5 to 10 people and then spend the next week coming up with opening messages for each of them. As I send off the messages I remove them from the list.

    Holy shit you are putting way too much effort into this. I literally just find something interesting in their profile and tell a humorous story or anecdote relating to it. I spend like 5 minutes tops.

    Not saying I spend days over each message but I only like to send one or two a day. Makes me feel a little less cheap.

  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    Or you can go to a move its acceptable to talk during. Late night, empty theatre shows of stuff like Grindhouse is always fun for that, heh.

  • Mr RayMr Ray Sarcasm sphereRegistered User regular
    Quick question, is "cute" an acceptable compliment? As in, "The internet says we should be friends, we seem to like the same stuff, and you're pretty cute", or does that sound patronising?

    Spoiler:
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    I wouldn't say patronizing, but personally I go for something more personal, like "That profile picture of you really shows off your eyes" or "Hey, you're pretty cute in <that funny pose/costume/whatever she's in on a profile picture>". Or if there's a different hair style, mention which one you like more. It comes off as more honest, and that you were actually paying attention to details.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Careful though with the specifics. Too much detail from a photo and you'll come off as a creep.

  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    True.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    Cute is generally an OK complement, as it's not too strong. But you should use the complement that best matches their profile. Are they artsy or a little stiff around the edges or girly? If they're girly, then cute or pretty is fine. If they're athletic, maybe "find you attractive" is better, or if they're stylish complementing their style may be good.

    Some girls may respond to being called "beautiful" or "rockin'" or a direct complement to their body, such as "u haz a fine azz gurl." I've never met one who was like that, though, which may simply be my own bias coming through (in that I wouldn't like a girl who responded to that kind of crap).

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre @PixelateJake on TwitterRegistered User regular
    such a sweet set of buns you got rockin' on dat azz boo

    Spec_Banner.png
  • TraceofToxinTraceofToxin King Nothing Registered User regular
    TehSpectre wrote:
    such a sweet set of buns you got rockin' on dat azz boo

    Gurl lemme touch it.

    Everyday I wake up is the worst day of my life.
    Buy my 40k shit.
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Things have actually picked up for me lately - got a guy I've been chatting with for a while but didn't look like it was going anywhere, but now he wants to mee. So hurrah!

    And I sent a message to a girl that is 0% match, 0% friend, 99% enemy, just on a whim. We'll see how that goes.

    Meanwhile, I'm having one of the more enjoyable conversations I've had on okCupid, mostly talking about adorable arboreal animals and her being fascinated by the idea of the open relationship I have with the wife.

    I'd still like suggestions/critiques of the profile if anyone is interested... (I may have linked it wrong last time)
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/MackinBanana

    GlyphGryph on
  • msmyamsmya Being Fabulous Registered User regular
    Cute is acceptable
    l give boy same compliment, even when I hadn't met him yet.

    no complaints so far!

    38993_100.png 37925_100.png
    Steam Profile / MsMya Stream Channel
  • KitKatBarKitKatBar Registered User regular
    Mr Ray wrote:
    Quick question, is "cute" an acceptable compliment? As in, "The internet says we should be friends, we seem to like the same stuff, and you're pretty cute", or does that sound patronising?

    Speaking as a girl (but not for all girls), I'm turned off by guys who tell me I'm cute, pretty, beautiful, or anything else along those lines in a first message. Obviously you don't think I'm hideous or else you wouldn't be writing me. Tell me why you like me, specifically what about my personality seems appealing to you and could be the basis of a relationship.

    If I get a message that says "Wow, you're cute!" I'm going to assume you're a horndog who wants sex and I will ignore you. If I get a message that says "Wow, you're cute, also you like video games, ooh!" I'm going to assume you're a horndog who wants sex and thinks I'm some kind of convenient combo plate, and I will ignore you. If I get a message that says "Hey, you like Professor Layton? What did you think of that one puzzle...?" I'm going to think you're someone I can have a conversation with, and I will write back.

    Note that I will still assume you want sex even in that last example, since I assume that about all guys, but I will not think you are an uncontrollable horndog and thus are fit for society.

    YMMV by girl, of course. If she's got low self-esteem, telling her she's cute will probably score you a date if you do it right. But who wants to go out with someone with low self-esteem?

  • MahnmutMahnmut Registered User regular
    I just had a really good first date! With a guy who, to add my anecdatum to this conversation, did not open with a comment on my looks. We hung out for actually about 3 hours; he's kinda cute and really smart. We're going to listen to jazz this weekend, I guess!

    I will say though that as far as I'm concerned, the profile-specific detailed message is a risky gambit. I've got some two-paragraph messages about Pushing Daisies and liking to bake cookies that were so dutiful I almost felt like writing back was a homework assignment. Guy above went with the profile-specific message and was clever enough to make me chuckle, but not everybody pulls that off.

    Steam/LoL: Jericho89
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    Hey is this a thing I should give another try? That girl who was going to be my first date kept flaking out on me and after a few times I stopped trying, got busy with other things, and stopped caring about OKC anymore.

    Wondering if I should give it another shot.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • MahnmutMahnmut Registered User regular
    Hey is this a thing I should give another try? That girl who was going to be my first date kept flaking out on me and after a few times I stopped trying, got busy with other things, and stopped caring about OKC anymore.

    Wondering if I should give it another shot.

    You can drop her a line if you want, but really you should prioritize the other fish in the sea~

    (there's plentyof them)

    Steam/LoL: Jericho89
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    Mahnmut wrote:
    Hey is this a thing I should give another try? That girl who was going to be my first date kept flaking out on me and after a few times I stopped trying, got busy with other things, and stopped caring about OKC anymore.

    Wondering if I should give it another shot.

    You can drop her a line if you want, but really you should prioritize the other fish in the sea~

    (there's plentyof them)

    Yes yes, I meant give OKC another shot, not whatever her name was.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • ninzorjonsninzorjons Registered User regular
    Well I've decided to start using my Pof account again.

    Can you guys give me any critiques/tell me why I'm still single?

    link here: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=35862070

    Also I don't know if I want to keep the squat pic up. People say to put pics that show you doing things, not just self-mirror shots. However, it probably isn't the most flattering...

    "Be excellent to each other."
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    What is Pof?

    Anyways, pictures are good, you're pretty good looking, I even like the squat pic, but then I heartily approve of squats and am probably not the target gender. Not so hot on the profile. Cliches and hedging are not attractive. Managing to fit both into a profile that short is even worse.

    On the personal front - Oh dear lord, I don't think I've ever hit it off with a girl this fast. She's poly, already got a boyfriend (who's married to someone else), and that is absolutely perfect as far as I'm concerned. We've already got a first date planned, and I just know it's going to go well. So happy. Squeeee ^_^

    Need to temper the enthusiasm just a bit though, don't want the wife to feel jealous. :P

  • ninzorjonsninzorjons Registered User regular
    GlyphGryph wrote: »
    Cliches and hedging are not attractive. Managing to fit both into a profile that short is even worse.

    Was wondering if you could elaborate on this? I'm not sure what you mean by it.

    PoF, or plentyoffish, is just another casual dating website. I have an OKC as well that is fairly similar.

    "Be excellent to each other."
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    you're a handsome guy but those facial expressions are so smug they're almost caricatures.

    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • ninzorjonsninzorjons Registered User regular
    I really just can't smile without looking like a goof on camera...it's kind of a curse I have.

    "Be excellent to each other."
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    Hi stranger,
    Cliche
    I like to think I'm a rare breed of Italian/Chinese mix.
    Hedging AND sounds kind of cocky
    I keep active (weightlifting, hiking, other fun stuff), but I also love geeking out over movies.
    This is fine, though you could have a bit more lead in from the second bit to the next sentence, since its related.
    I went to film school to become a director,
    Cool!
    but at the moment I'm on hiatus, just waiting for my next inspiration.
    Okay, not cool. That just sounds kind of pathetic to be honest. It reads a lot like "I was interested in directing, and now I'm not, but I like to pretend I still am." or at the very least like you weren't very good at it. If nothing else, it makes you sound incredibly passive, which isn't attractive.
    In the meantime, I'm just working to fund my endeavors.
    What endeavors! The fact that you're working to fund them isn't interesting, the fact that you have them is, but what ARE they?
    I'm big into weightlifting, and train to compete in powerlifting.
    Ok.
    I'm pretty good at:
    being clumsy
    singing in the shower
    Boring and self deprecating. Is this really the best you can come up with? I mean, something like this is fine when it ends up amusing, but it's not particularly funny either. So dump it or get something better. People aren't interested in half-hearted deprecation, they want to actually know real things about you to see if they are interested.
    Hit me up if you want to get to know me better
    Dumb. They know that.

    Overall, it could use a lot of work. You've got maybe 2 positive things in the whole profile, and they aren't explained or expounded on, and there's not really anything at all their to catch a person's interest.

  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    *sigh* Asked a girl who I've been messaging for the last 2 weeks out to lunch, and she hasn't even replied back.

    Back to the drawing board...

    3DS Friend Code: 4854-6465-0299 | Wii U: zython
    Steam: pazython
    Lv 90 Tauren Shaman Lv 90 Pandaren Monk
  • ninzorjonsninzorjons Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Thanks, Glyph. Looks like I'll be doing a major profile overhaul.

    It's definitely hard to write an opening from scratch, at least OKC gives you headlines for each paragraph.

    Still curious, what does hedging mean?

    ninzorjons on
    "Be excellent to each other."
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    Hedging is saying things like "I think I am" rather than "I am", or "It might be" rather than "it is", especially in situations that don't really warrant it. It makes it sounds like you're unsure of yourself - that you might be wrong (about something you should know) and/or that you don't want to take the risks associated with making a concrete statement.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedge_(linguistics)

  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    Zython wrote: »
    *sigh* Asked a girl who I've been messaging for the last 2 weeks out to lunch, and she hasn't even replied back.

    Back to the drawing board...

    Yeah... this is why I go for the date after a few messages, tops. Some people just like to chat but never want to meet up. If they want to meet you IRL they'll have decided pretty quickly, no need to try and convice them.

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    ninzorjons wrote: »
    Thanks, Glyph. Looks like I'll be doing a major profile overhaul.

    It's definitely hard to write an opening from scratch, at least OKC gives you headlines for each paragraph.

    Still curious, what does hedging mean?

    Try an anecdote, questions, or unique description.

    I'm not saying this is the best, but, for example, here is my opening
    I've been called an old soul by some and all the good things of a teenage boy by others. To put it into metaphor, I'm an iceberg.

  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    Zython wrote: »
    *sigh* Asked a girl who I've been messaging for the last 2 weeks out to lunch, and she hasn't even replied back.

    Back to the drawing board...

    Yeah... this is why I go for the date after a few messages, tops. Some people just like to chat but never want to meet up. If they want to meet you IRL they'll have decided pretty quickly, no need to try and convice them.

    Thanks for the tip! Not having much luck yet, but I've only messaged a few women so far. I guess I just gotta keep trying?

    3DS Friend Code: 4854-6465-0299 | Wii U: zython
    Steam: pazython
    Lv 90 Tauren Shaman Lv 90 Pandaren Monk
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Woot! Coffee date was fantastic, looking forward to another when he gets back in town.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • MahnmutMahnmut Registered User regular
    Mahnmut wrote:
    Hey is this a thing I should give another try? That girl who was going to be my first date kept flaking out on me and after a few times I stopped trying, got busy with other things, and stopped caring about OKC anymore.

    Wondering if I should give it another shot.

    You can drop her a line if you want, but really you should prioritize the other fish in the sea~

    (there's plentyof them)

    Yes yes, I meant give OKC another shot, not whatever her name was.

    Well, yeah dude! If you're in a mood to be dating, it's a painless way to increase your datage. Just be ready to let people drift off if they're not working out. But if you're not in a mood to be dating, then I officially give you dispensation not to Internet date. :^:

    Steam/LoL: Jericho89
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Read this message out of context:
    I suppose that's a matter of preference.

    ALSO GROSS, now I cant go to the zoo either.

    That was the most gorgeous segway I've ever read, so yes, I will. Where to?

    Giggity-giggity (head-bob)

  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    do segways come with books now

    what is this homophonic madness

    Organichu on
    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    I think I would promptly lose the date if I pointed out her segway=segue. The juxtaposition man! The juxtaposition.

  • TheOtherHorsemanTheOtherHorseman Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    do segways come with books now

    what is this homophonic madness

    His Segway has a bitchin' literary decal

  • kfroosterkfrooster Registered User regular
    Currently I'm having a nice conversation with the girl I contacted about a week ago. She had agreed to an offline meet up but already had plans get out of the city for a week. She's back now and and I've gotten in touch with her once again. My question is, how do I broach the subject of a date, without sounding needy as I had already asked her out previously.

  • TcheldorTcheldor Registered User regular
    Just ask her, now that she's back in town, if she'd like to get coffee/dinner/lunch/whatever, next XXXday.

    League of Legends: Glacys
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  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    "I found a [insert establishment and/or activity] I want to try out. You free [insert day]?"

    Lilnoobs on
  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    kfrooster wrote: »
    Currently I'm having a nice conversation with the girl I contacted about a week ago. She had agreed to an offline meet up but already had plans get out of the city for a week. She's back now and and I've gotten in touch with her once again. My question is, how do I broach the subject of a date, without sounding needy as I had already asked her out previously.

    I'm in a similar position to you with Coffee girl. Each week goes like this:
    Me: Hey you still fancy that drink we talked about last week?
    Her: Yeah that would be great only thing is I'm ill/visiting relatives/on a mission to save the galaxy. Can I text you after the weekend?
    Me: Yeah no worries.
    ...Weekend passes...
    Me: Hey you still fancy that drink we talked about last week?
    It's getting to the point where I'm not sure she actually wants to meet up again due to how busy she always is. Even though I keep getting apologies from her about "how bad her timing is at the moment". Shame as I thought we got on really well.

  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    So that whole "woe is me" post a few days ago. She got back in touch in me, and said yes to the lunch date for next week. Life is good again.

    3DS Friend Code: 4854-6465-0299 | Wii U: zython
    Steam: pazython
    Lv 90 Tauren Shaman Lv 90 Pandaren Monk
This discussion has been closed.