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Trying the Critique
David Barrentine
ArkansasRegistered User regular
ArkansasRegistered User regular
I wanted a chance to try this out and see what kind of criticism I could attain that might make my artwork better and at the same time maybe bring my work to more people's attention. I'm still fairly new at this so I don't have the greatest connections made yet. Here is a link to my comic strip and this is the latest one up right now. There should be another come up Wednesday. http://www.teamasunder.com/2012/03/21/amazing/ Any comment is welcome. I'm just looking for an honest opinion, and I love my friends, they just aren't the best place to acquire that opinion.
David Barrentine on
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edit: example (remove the "*" when you do it)
[img]*http://www.teamasunder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Big-Toe-55.jpg*[/img]
So like that?
First off, what are your goals. Are you looking to be the cartoonist for this site which does a lot more than just cartoons? I only ask because your comic is buried within a lot of random stuff on that site and it's almost impossible to navigate, so no one that comes there to read your strip exclusively will be able to, and that's important.
Second, and this is something I never thought I'd say, and it's honestly not something that's been said here in a while, but your artwork is eerily similar to Mike's, and that's not really a compliment. You need to focus more on developing your own style rather than trying to work from someone else's.
Do you have any more strips or other art you've done you can post here?
You're obviously pretty talented, so I have to ask. Why do yellow shirt and Daniel look 95% identical to Gabe and Tycho?
Take some time to really sketch out those characters and make them your own. Your color, perspective, anatomy etc isn't bad at all. Honestly that's the only thing really holding you back at this particular point.
I will say you should pay attention to your general structure a bit more. The hands are fairly nice, but they becfome a bit blobish at points. I would just push the contrast a little bit more to get some definition in there.
Speedpainting, environment digital painting, Danielle Corsetto drawing Girls with Slingshots, Joel Watson drawing Hijinks Ensue, Dave Kellett drawing Sheldon, Scott Kurtz drawing pVp, Kris Straub drawing Starslip, and Meredith Gran drawing Octopus Pie...
That's a HUGE pool of both traditional and digital cartoonists and painters that all have process videos online. It'll give you a good feel for art materials, digital tablet and photoshop settings, styles, etc.
Like Iruka said, consume more art.
Also in the tutorial thread I think a lot of talented people here have posted process videos.
Maybe her bit about collateral fees should be a bit more colloquial as well. When it comes to words, only use what you need to get the point across.
As far as art style, just draw how you draw. If Gabe's influence is in how you normally draw, work in some other influences on the side. Eventually the other stuff will also show in how you naturally draw. That's really all there is to having a style.
What is with the triple decker dialogue balloon in panel 2? Hers, the one that begins "Unfortunately". Usually when you break up dialogue like that it's for independent thoughts; that's one sentence. It's pointless and it's visually distracting.
On the art side, your smudgy, textured background (and smoke) look jarringly disconnected from your hard-edged characters and middle ground. If you don't want to draw undue attention to background elements then don't use the thick black outlines on them, but stick to harder-edged objects more in keeping with the style you've chosen, and if you're gonna use textures then apply them to everything, not just the sky.