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[PA Comic] Wednesday, April 4, 2012 - Dereliction

Robot SantaRobot Santa Enforcer of Christmas FearNorth PoleRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited April 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub
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Posts

  • SabreMauSabreMau Still featuring glasses. Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Gabe made a newspost with context for this one yesterday.

    Gabriel wrote:
    Star Wars Kinect is a real shitfest. Unless you happen to be a seven year old.


    That’s my son playing it there. He’s swinging one of his own plastic Lightsabers which he says makes the game even better. He loves the Jedi Destiny mode which has you jumping and swinging your way through a Padawan adventure.

    We tried the other game modes on the disc including the dance game and he was confused. “Why would they put dancing in Star Wars? Why wouldn’t you just play Dance Central?” he asked me. These are excellent questions that I did not have good answers for. He thought the Pod Racing was boring and I have to agree with him.

    I gave it a shot myself and like most of my Kinect experiences I hated it. It will occasionally perhaps accidentally work the way it is intended for a split second and you will experience something very near fun. The rest of the time you’re just jumping around like an idiot trying to make the fucking thing do what you want. When it isn’t outright frustrating it’s just stupid and boring.

    Unless as I said earlier, you are seven years old and you just need an opportunity to jump around in front of a TV while swinging a Lightsaber.

    Maybe that’s the Kinect’s real demographic. People who don’t know any better.

    -Gabe out

    SabreMau on
    1yrxP.jpgmXcqC.jpgtYRm1.jpg
  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    Doesn't look like there's any connection whatsoever between what the kid does and what happens on the screen.

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo When life gives you lemons... ...eat your delicious lemonsRegistered User regular
    Ivar wrote: »
    Doesn't look like there's any connection whatsoever between what the kid does and what happens on the screen.

    That is true of every Kinect game.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • AurichAurich Registered User regular
    I would have gone fucking batshit over a game like that when I was a lad.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    He is gonna lose that tv.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    I ain't no hologram girl

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    Man, at 7 I was getting angry when Mario didn't stop on top of that fucking drain pipe like I TOLD HIM TO and instead slid over the side and fell to his death.

    This shit is bananas.

    K-I-L-L-M-E-Please

  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Working at a game store, I can say that in my 2 years of experience, I have not seen a sadder release day than what happened yesterday for Kinect Star Wars. Usually my store has about a 65% first day preorder pickup rate, and by the end of the week we're at about 85-90% pickup. There's always a few copies of a game that are preordered that are never picked up. But in the case of Kinect Star Wars, our pickup rate was terrible. I'd say we only had about 20% picked up.

  • DragonryderDragonryder Registered User
    I think that, to a kid, they aren't looking at the game from the perspective "The input is crap and it's not doing what I want it to and it's a terrible gimmicky game", but rather from the perspective "Holy crap I'm playing a Jedi and killing stormtroopers* and when I swing MY lightsaber he swings HIS and this is so COOL!". I'm pretty sure the Kinect has always been aimed at kids/families looking to have a good time, and most kids don't happen to have a dad who essentially gets to play video games for a living. :P

    *no idea if that's what he's killing, couldn't see the TV in the video well enough, but just an example

  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal Flo-ridaRegistered User regular
    A lethal combination of primordial-stage motion detection video game controls and LucasArts proven record of not having any problems with licensing horrible games

  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    What we need is a REAL Pod Racing game, like we have for the 64. That game was fantastic in every way. I loved it so much.

    2u6k1v9.gifxq9ly1.gif
  • Ori KleinOri Klein Registered User regular
    Wow...they grow so fast.
    I remember 'only yesterday' he was a just-born baby. Seven already...

    Gentlemen, we've grown old. =|

    As for Kinect...Yes Mike, you've failed. You're supposed to teach him so he knows better.

  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    Kinect and products for it appeal to children, as intended. Nerds in disbelief.

    "Ultima Online Pre-Trammel is the perfect example of why libertarians are full of shit."
    - @Ludious
    PA Lets Play Archive - Twitter - Blog (6/15/14)
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Ori Klein wrote: »
    Wow...they grow so fast.
    I remember 'only yesterday' he was a just-born baby. Seven already...

    Gentlemen, we've grown old. =|

    As for Kinect...Yes Mike, you've failed. You're supposed to teach him so he knows better.

    It's weird - my son was born on the exact same day as his - I came home to grab some stuff to find his post about having a kid.

    It's really quite crazy - at 7 I was playing an Odyssey 2 and felt KC Munchkin and Monkeyshines were the wave of the future. Soon after, I upgraded to a 2600 with Combat and Yar's Revenge and a C64.

    My son gets to control games with his arms, hold 3d games in his hands, and his DSi has roughly 100x more space on a cheap sdcard the size of a stamp than my first PC harddrive held.

    steam_sig.png
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote: »
    Man, at 7 I was getting angry when Mario didn't stop on top of that fucking drain pipe like I TOLD HIM TO and instead slid over the side and fell to his death.

    This shit is bananas.

    K-I-L-L-M-E-Please

    You didn't notice he skids? Like at all?


    also this game looks like the opposite of a Kinect advertisment. If I could buy one that was just the voice commands that'd be nice but as it stands this looks utterly absurd. Unlike the Wii you really do have to flail about like a Jackass I don't got time for that.

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    I feel like this is one of the repeated blows of parenthood.

    "She picked the pink toy? I have failed as a parent."

    (years later)

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S READING TWILIGHT?!"

  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote: »
    Man, at 7 I was getting angry when Mario didn't stop on top of that fucking drain pipe like I TOLD HIM TO and instead slid over the side and fell to his death.

    This shit is bananas.

    K-I-L-L-M-E-Please

    You didn't notice he skids? Like at all?

    Eh? I'm talking about him skidding too far (i.e. I didn't time the jump correctly). A 7 year old is not exactly the pinnacle of hand/eye coordination, but that doesn't mean I wasn't trying to be precise. This game would have bugged the shit out of me in other words.

  • RonaldoTheGypsyRonaldoTheGypsy Do you like dags? Registered User regular
  • TleilaxuTleilaxu Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote: »
    Man, at 7 I was getting angry when Mario didn't stop on top of that fucking drain pipe like I TOLD HIM TO and instead slid over the side and fell to his death.

    This shit is bananas.

    K-I-L-L-M-E-Please

    That's not how you spell bananas.

    checkpointangrybirds.gif
  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    I feel like this is one of the repeated blows of parenthood.

    "She picked the pink toy? I have failed as a parent."

    (years later)

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S READING TWILIGHT?!"

    Uh, is that an actual thing?

    "Ultima Online Pre-Trammel is the perfect example of why libertarians are full of shit."
    - @Ludious
    PA Lets Play Archive - Twitter - Blog (6/15/14)
  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Henroid wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    I feel like this is one of the repeated blows of parenthood.

    "She picked the pink toy? I have failed as a parent."

    (years later)

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S READING TWILIGHT?!"

    Uh, is that an actual thing?

    Given the huge outcry of disappointment in the recent Lego Friends line (Legos tooled towards girls in pinks/purples) I would say there is definitely a movement of parents to avoid the "pink aisle" of the toy store as much as possible. It seems mostly because they feel those toys make girls buy into traditional gender roles of girls play with dolls, play house, etc.

    Should add: As a parent of a boy we had a year where he got a tool bench AND a kitchen for Christmas so we're covering everything :)

    Lindsay Lohan on
    steam_sig.png
  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    "Ultima Online Pre-Trammel is the perfect example of why libertarians are full of shit."
    - @Ludious
    PA Lets Play Archive - Twitter - Blog (6/15/14)
  • TleilaxuTleilaxu Registered User regular
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    What if they picked out the not-bold-font product in your first post?

    checkpointangrybirds.gif
  • FramlingFramling Registered User regular
    What we need is a REAL Pod Racing game, like we have for the 64. That game was fantastic in every way. I loved it so much.

    Yesssssssssss. Podracer ruined me for any racing game that wasn't barely-in-control fast.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    Sometimes parents push so hard in the direction of no gender specific toys that their kid ends up curious about the stuff they haven't interacted with and will pick that instead. As such I can see a parent overreacting over his or her daughter picking out something pink when they've spent so much time trying to keep them away from pink things.

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    Tleilaxu wrote: »
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    What if they picked out the not-bold-font product in your first post?

    Man now I'm thinking about how much it would suck if your kid decided to start typing everything in Comic Sans.

  • SabreMauSabreMau Still featuring glasses. Registered User regular
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    It means you've failed to train their volition properly.

    1yrxP.jpgmXcqC.jpgtYRm1.jpg
  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    It means you've failed to train their volition properly.

    Basically.

    If your kid chooses to become a Scientologist...

    well, that's just the first step toward liking Star Wars Kinect.

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Tleilaxu wrote: »
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    What if they picked out the not-bold-font product in your first post?

    Man now I'm thinking about how much it would suck if your kid decided to start typing everything in Comic Sans.

    I HAVE NO SON!!!

    1Slimus.jpg
  • CambiataCambiata Social Justice Vanguard of Your Destruction Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    I remember reading something a while ago about how for Victorian parents, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Because pink is a "stronger" color.

    Yes parents, lets make color preferences a way to pressure our children, that'll be really healthy.

    Cambiata on
    Dude, what? The only "character plot" in ME2 that would involve fucking a lizard is A) entirely optional, and B) entirely about fucking a lizard. If you don't want to do that plot, do a different one and just be the lizard's friend instead.

    Steam
    Origin ID: jazzmess
    Wishlist
  • J4RMZJ4RMZ Registered User
    Yikes, shit got weird quick. Sorry about that guys.

  • TleilaxuTleilaxu Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Tleilaxu wrote: »
    Henroid wrote: »
    Well I mean, if a kid of their own volition picks something out, I don't think it counts as a failure.

    What if they picked out the not-bold-font product in your first post?

    Man now I'm thinking about how much it would suck if your kid decided to start typing everything in Comic Sans.

    PA used Comic Sans for a long time.

    checkpointangrybirds.gif
  • CambiataCambiata Social Justice Vanguard of Your Destruction Registered User regular
    Now pressuring your kids against using Comic Sans, that I can get behind!

    Dude, what? The only "character plot" in ME2 that would involve fucking a lizard is A) entirely optional, and B) entirely about fucking a lizard. If you don't want to do that plot, do a different one and just be the lizard's friend instead.

    Steam
    Origin ID: jazzmess
    Wishlist
  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    "Where did you learn to use Comic Sans?!" "I learned it from you, okay? I learned it from you!"

  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    I think that, to a kid, they aren't looking at the game from the perspective "The input is crap and it's not doing what I want it to and it's a terrible gimmicky game", but rather from the perspective "Holy crap I'm playing a Jedi and killing stormtroopers* and when I swing MY lightsaber he swings HIS and this is so COOL!". I'm pretty sure the Kinect has always been aimed at kids/families looking to have a good time, and most kids don't happen to have a dad who essentially gets to play video games for a living. :P

    *no idea if that's what he's killing, couldn't see the TV in the video well enough, but just an example

    There's at least one Star Wars game out there where you pretend to swing around a fake lightsaber and it does absolutely nothing. Also, there's no console or television.

    Now that is bullshit. Compared to that, Star Wars Kinect might as well be Devil May Cry.

  • AurichAurich Registered User regular
    Would it be terribly uncool if I asked what is up with (bad about) comic sans? If it would, imagine I said nothing.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Aurich wrote: »
    Would it be terribly uncool if I asked what is up with (bad about) comic sans? If it would, imagine I said nothing.

    It's not a great font, but mostly because it was the choice for every GeocCities or AngelFire page back in the day. Usually sized 42pt and with the
    [blink] tag
    
    .

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
  • WUAWUA Registered User regular
    Star Wars Kinect is a real shitfest. Unless you happen to be a seven year old.

    SEE WHAT I DID THAR

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Aurich wrote: »
    Would it be terribly uncool if I asked what is up with (bad about) comic sans? If it would, imagine I said nothing.

    It's not a great font, but mostly because it was the choice for every GeocCities or AngelFire page back in the day. Usually sized 42pt and with the
    [blink] tag
    
    .

    Why was it necessary to post it like that? Does the blink tag actually work here?

    [blink]Bink[/blink]

    Edit: Whew, nope. Mind was very nearly blown.

    Gaslight on
    1Slimus.jpg
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