Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it,
follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
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[Chat], and the world [chats] with you; [Brainstorm], and you [brainstorm] alone.
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B/W 3139-2627-3982
HG/SS 4342-0049-1485
B2/W2 1936-8473-5370
It's called "Narcoleptics in Elevators"
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@beast! The you're still alive, right?
@beast! you're still alive, right?
Yeah, but it's a bit of a pain. You create a page through authorcentral, and if you have multiple pen names then you have to claim a book as your own but somehow not append it to your list of books from your other pseudonym... (I screwed it up once, which is why you can find one of my spy erotica under Christopher Ruz)... it's a mess.
Batsignal isn't working. It's calling for some other poster.
Some guy with only 7 posts 2 years ago. Don't know why, but there you are.
Hopefully someone has found the BEAST!
or possibly diphtheria
jayxwolf.com || twit || fb || writing || ravelry || dA || g++
BEAST obviously wandered off in a fugue state.
i went searching for Aphostile because he wandered out of the khoo panel drunk and then i realized i was also too drunk to be there
@Beast!
e: apparently I left this window open for TOO LONG.
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Considering he never does any writing, but is strange to a degree I've never seen in anyone else, the outcome of this should be at least entertaining.
That audio drama is now complete.
Check it yo! Feedback is appreciated, I'm planning to do another... just not right away.
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{My Rambling Blog}
Edit: Whoever does the voice of the boy is especially good.
Site: booklifenow.com -- Just the relaunch post right now, tomorrow (Tuesday) will be two posts from authors about author life, then on Wednesday a post about rebranding and an interview with an editor... stuff
It's a trick.
Get an axe.
I lost my job recently and my entire writing-support system with it. Potential employers have been asking for writing samples, and while I saved a pile from on the job, one guy is being high-brow about the intellectual property its associated with. I'm trying to prepare a small sample from a personal project for him, but I'm stressed out of my mind from this job hunt and really need a second pair of eyes to evaluate it before I do anything with it.
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Remind me why I'm in the medical field.
3DS 3652-1506-4398
B/W 3139-2627-3982
HG/SS 4342-0049-1485
B2/W2 1936-8473-5370
- the narrator is grating. His rhythm is Shatnerian in a bad way. In a piece that relies this heavily on the narrator, you really need more of a vocal arc rather than moment to moment "drama".
- on the same line, all of your actors seem to have the disease of believing that they need to create drama with their voice. Aodh is OK for the first while, but as the tension climbs, he succumbs to the same phenomenon.
- the boy in particular is unconvincing where it matters.
- the backing sfx and music are very good.
- the text seems no to have been adapted at all, which means you repeat information in a way that is off-putting.
Examples:
* He laughed (he laughs). It tittered(?) etc.
* She is crying (hear her crying). She is crying etc.
As I said, it's a very good effort. But your narrator grates on me, and I would not have finished it in any other context.
@oldmanhero tumblr
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
(Congrats!)
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Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
@oldmanhero tumblr
The agent is William Clark, who, based on some research, is a respectable agent with a good list of represented books, but he's also a bit pokey. The request said that he "prefers exclusivity" when he's reading. What sort of exclusivity window should I give him? What's reasonable? I don't want to say, "Okay, you're exclusive!" and then six months later still not have heard back. A couple weeks? A month?
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
What exactly do you mean?
I don't know, Jeffe -- an exclusive at this point really isn't in your favor, but if he has to have one, I would DEFINITELY not give him the full 3 months. I'd give him a month maximum on a partial. If he wants the exclusive, which definitely hurts you and gives him a power-play advantage, make him work for it and make it work for you so he gets back to you in a timely manner.
ETA: Congrats on getting the request!
Forged by Fate, March 5, 2013! (And it's on Goodreads!)
The narrator is far and away the worst offender in your adaptation. There is nothing natural about the rhythm or intonation used.
BONES sprouted from the snow drifts as TEETH might have... SHINING in the pale moonlight. At the heart of the cave was a door SO BLACK etc.
This gets in the way of listening to the story, because I am constantly aware of what the narrator is trying to do. It's unfortunate, because the guy obviously has a good voice. He's just focused on performing instead of delivering naturally. There's no need to "hit" words that hard. It just gets in the way. And the way he does it, you get the secondary problem that there is no pacing whatsoever. Almost the entire thing is delivered at the same steady, drip-DROP-drip cadence. Even a narrator needs to be able to distinguish whole beats of the story. A writer, after all, writes with the intention of varying pacing and level. And your staging communicates that variety nicely.
Lemme stop for a second and explain a beat: when you learn to break down text as an actor or director, you start with whole thoughts or emotions. In good drama, your characters are doing different things at different times. Where those breaks lie and what those beats are about constitute the majority of the choices made by a group of people planning a performance. The director chooses some of the high-level beats and the "movement" of the piece (in this case, that movement is not physical, of course, but it still very much applies), and then the actor focuses on finding the emotional reality that will get them to those places moving in those directions. The director's beat might be 2 pages long; the actor's might be 2 words. They're very different, but equally important.
The "kid" (who also has the problem that he doesn't sound like a child, but we'll ignore that for now) has the same rhythmic and tonal issues:
WHY did you COME?
You are SUPPOSED to enter the hag's gate NAKED
Tell me why the KING would invite YOU?
There are no beats here. No thought, no emotional reality, no action, no movement. He's performing, not acting. And then he tries crazy laughing, and it kind of falls apart.
Contrast with Aodh's rhythm (when he's "on"):
So I am...
Unless...you mean to take my SKIN from me.
The vocal hits are there, but they're significantly more subtle, and they fit into a whole thought.
Morgan Freeman is one of the greatest narrators (and vocal actors in general) of all time, but you have to understand that it is because he has a very stripped-down, natural approach to voice. He also has a very good voice, but that's where technique belongs. A good acting school teaches you to develop your technical performance skills well past the level at which you plan to actually use them, because that will allow you to do so effortlessly.
If I listen to Aodh, for most of the story he sounds like he is simply speaking his mind. When he gets to the bit about the king, however, he suddenly starts injecting those hard hits and starts to sound the way a "badass" version of himself might. A villain doesn't need to sound like a villain. One of the many lessons you learn as a writer, in fact, is to write villains who specifically do not think of themselves as villains.
NO ONE should be forced to live in this HELL.
It's funny; for all the vocal effect on the King's voice, he at least delivers relatively naturally.
This is where casting agents make their money - you have to find someone who can not just play a part, but play it effortlessly. That's not the same choice every time, though many actors want it to be. Sometimes you have to choose someone who can deliver performance. But most of the time you want natural, well-spoken acting.
@oldmanhero tumblr