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[PA Comic] Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - The Snip Within

2

Posts

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    edited April 2012
    when I had mine done all the brochures and doctor meetings never once said incision, instead the word I kept seeing and hearing was "puncture". And sure enough the day of the tool looked more like a cigar punch than a scalpel. Plus even to sever the vas it wasn't a blade, it looked more like a soldering iron. He put a giant adhesive conductive patch on my shoulder and the vas were severed with electricity. Cutting and sealing at the same time. Didn't feel a thing.

    But the anesthesia, that's I felt. 2nd worst pain in my life. 5 shots in your sack, 4 of which go through into the has (2 on each side). I actually started getting angry halfway through the last one and told the doc to please ignore the clenching and unclenching of my fists.

    Weirdest past is how they kept my dick out of the way. I thought it was a joke but it worked. After I laid on the table first thing he did was wrap gauze around it, wrap a loose rubberband around that, then pinched a clamp to the rubberband. Then he put the clamp on my stomach, lifting and immobilizing my member out of his way.

    Staxeon on
    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    Staxeon wrote: »
    when I had mine done all the brochures and doctor meetings never once said incision, instead the word I kept seeing and hearing was "puncture". And sure enough the day of the tool looked more like a cigar punch than a scalpel. Plus even to sever the vas it wasn't a blade, it looked more like a soldering iron. He put a giant adhesive conductive patch on my shoulder and the vas were severed with electricity. Cutting and sealing at the same time. Didn't feel a thing.

    But the anesthesia, that's I felt. 2nd worst pain in my life. 5 shots in your sack, 4 of which go through into the has (2 on each side). I actually started getting angry halfway through the last one and told the doc to please ignore the clenching and unclenching of my fists.

    Weirdest past is how they kept my dick out of the way. I thought it was a joke but it worked. After I laid on the table first thing he did was wrap gauze around it, wrap a loose rubberband around that, then pinched a clamp to the rubberband. Then he put the clamp on my stomach, lifting and immobilizing my member out of his way.

    they did that with my dork too

    put a rubber band around it (no gauze, though), attached that rubber band to a clamp, attached the clamp to the bottom of my rolled up shirt

    i was like "what the f!" since i hadn't really considered any part of this procedure involving my johnson and it alarmed me

  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINE Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure I'm never getting a vasectomy.

    Ever.

    Tycho makes a solid point, context is important and I don't want a scalpel anywhere near my dickzone.

    5zokN.png
  • AurichAurich Registered User regular
    I'm still not completely averse to the idea of a vasectomy. I'm just highly phobic of needles. And needles in this context. Do you have the option to just go completely under?

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Aurich wrote: »
    I'm still not completely averse to the idea of a vasectomy. I'm just highly phobic of needles. And needles in this context. Do you have the option to just go completely under?

    here's the thing with going completely under: it's intrinsically risky. People die from attempts at full anesthesia. Do you know why anesthesiologist is a medical position? In the US, for instance, becoming an anesthesiologist requires being a doctor in the first place and completing an accredited residency program in anesthesiology, usually four years following medical school.

    This is because general anesthesia is potentially dangerous. "Putting someone under" can kill them unless it's done very carefully.

    They don't do it unless they absolutely have to. For vasectomies, you will have a very tough time convincing a doctor that is necessary just because you're a wuss about your balls.

    What is fairly standard, however, is doping you up on anti-anxiety medication (clonazepam is a popular choice), which i can tell you from personal experience causes you to give zero fucks

    i was laying there with a dude burning stuff in my scrotum and i was using twitter on my phone, not giving a good god damn. was it because i'm a bad-ass? no, it's because i was doped up on goofballs

    Pony on
  • AurichAurich Registered User regular
    Them goofballs must do a hell of a trick, 'cause I am seriously less anxious about dieing in my sleep than I am about having needles in my balls.

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    Its not a surgery you need to be completely under for. And like Pony said I don't think you could find a doc in the country that would do it. On top of the risk, it would double the costs and probably triple the time. If you add getting put under, plus observation in post-op when they bring you back...eff all that.

    As-is the whole procedure took under an hour. Plus I drove myself there, got it done, and drove myself home.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    You don't even go to the hospital to get a vasectomy in most parts of the world. I had it done in a urologist's office. It took like 20 minutes.

    Also, clonazepam's affect on your give-a-shit-o-meter is potent

    The needle in the balls hurt, don't get me wrong, but aside from being like "owwwwww" you really do not care at all.

  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    After one kid I'm definitely getting either a vasectomy or (pending clinical trials) that new male birth control method they've been testing in India. Apparently it's just as effective, more easily reversible.

    Both methods involve taking a needle to the junk though.

  • pablograndepablogrande Registered User
    I had no valium, no compassion, and no needles. Doc basically used a hypospray on my nads to administer a local. One tiny incision with a hybrid scale clamp thing. Felt nothing, just a dull ache for a few days.

  • pablograndepablogrande Registered User
    Stupid auto correct. Not "no compassion"..supposed to read "no clonazepam".

  • StaxeonStaxeon Registered User
    Pony wrote: »
    You don't even go to the hospital to get a vasectomy in most parts of the world. I had it done in a urologist's office. It took like 20 minutes.

    My urologist did all his in the out-patient of the local hospital, but that was just for some kind of insurance purpose.

    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Well for context, the "default" for all human history up to about 100 years ago was if you even looked at a girl funny, you're a father. Most people had like 5 kids or something, that they even knew about, and half of them died in childhood.

    Monkey Ball Warrior on
    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
  • Faceless CowardFaceless Coward Registered User regular
    I'm still in shock that the same guys behind this strip decided to bar Jessica Nigri from PAX for her revealing costume.

    Although I know Gabe was fine with it, until he caved into pressure.

    newsigpa4xj.jpg
  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    Try reading the newspost for more information about that besides Kotaku-style tabloid "reporting"

  • Faceless CowardFaceless Coward Registered User regular
    Opty wrote: »
    Try reading the newspost for more information about that besides Kotaku-style tabloid "reporting"

    I did. I'm still surprised.

    newsigpa4xj.jpg
  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    So you don't see the difference between a comic on a website that children aren't generally expected to visit from a cosplayer being in an open area where children are expected to be?

  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    They didn't decide it by themselves, they recieved a bunch of complaints

  • Blackie62Blackie62 Registered User regular
    "The Snip Within", I need to title something that at some point. Jerry I'm stealing that title, if it's cool with you you'll get a thanks at some point, if not well I'm taking it anyway.

    No matter what I say there is a 40% percent chance I'm not being serious, and if I sound like I'm not then I probably am.
  • Lindsey LohanLindsey Lohan Registered User regular
    Pony wrote: »
    For me, it was like removing my ability to spontaneously burst into song accompanied by rainbows and magical rabbits. It's not something I wanted to do, something I felt the need to do, nor will I ever particularly miss it.
    I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting to have the ability to do that. If I could have rainbows and magical rabbits everytime I burst into song I'd never stop singing. It would be the most wonderful thing ever.

    As a side note: given how simplistic the procedure is in theory it surprises me how incredibly different it seems doctors approach the procedure. It seems like something that should be fairly standardized at this point. I think I'm going to make sure the doctor I choose likes to give medications - because I'm going to be a nervous wreck that day. I don't do well with doctors, hate needles, and am not a big stranger of flopping about with strangers in the room. I'm gonna need something to take the edge of and I'm sure showing up drunk on gin would be frowned upon.

    steam_sig.png
  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    Show up shitfaced, screaming TAKE MY MONEY AND MANGLE MY NARDS

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    ...this seems like a ridiculously semantic argument.

    Look I don't want to get into a semantic argument with you. I just need the protein.

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    I'm actually trying to find a way to get this procedure done without paying a shitload of money for it, since I'm uninsured. I do have access to my school's clinic but it's a private christian university and they don't do surgeries. Planned Parenthood?

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    ...this seems like a ridiculously semantic argument.

    Look I don't want to get into a semantic argument with you. I just need the protein.

    Better not get snipped then HOOOOOOOOOO

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    HOOOOOOOOOO

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • agilemaniaagilemania Registered User regular
    If I could spontaneously burst into song accompanied by rainbows and magical rabbits, I would do that every day.

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    Ivar wrote: »
    Show up shitfaced, screaming TAKE MY MONEY AND MANGLE MY NARDS

    Maybe it's like a tattoo parlor, where you either get kicked out when you do something like this or you wake up the next day with exactly what you asked for.

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • DenadaDenada Registered User regular
    I'm actually trying to find a way to get this procedure done without paying a shitload of money for it, since I'm uninsured. I do have access to my school's clinic but it's a private christian university and they don't do surgeries. Planned Parenthood?

    I went through Planned Parenthood and had state-funded health insurance (Family PACT in California) for the procedure because my regular health insurance had terrible coverage for contraceptive services. It ended up costing me $0.00.

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    Assuming I'm totally uninsured, what could I expect to pay going through Planned Parenthood for the procedure?

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • DenadaDenada Registered User regular
    Assuming I'm totally uninsured, what could I expect to pay going through Planned Parenthood for the procedure?

    Depends on the options available in your state. PP will generally work with you to figure out how to make it as cheap as possible. If you're uninsured you will probably qualify for some kind of assistance, more so if you're also unemployed or low income.

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    Cool. Thanks.

    Can't wait.

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • SuckafishSuckafish Registered User regular
    I'm actually trying to find a way to get this procedure done without paying a shitload of money for it, since I'm uninsured. I do have access to my school's clinic but it's a private christian university and they don't do surgeries. Planned Parenthood?

    You could* do the procedure with a close friend following these easy steps:

    1. Shave balls.
    2. Freeze scrotum with frozen vegetables from freezer.
    3. Clean area with baby wipe. Ask a friend to start heating the end of a pair of barbecue tongs with a butane torch.
    4. Use the sharpest knife you can find to make a vertical incision in between your beans, inch and a half long, give or take. Take care to only cut through one side of your scrotum.
    5. One at a time, bring your vas deferens to the incision opening. Have your friend cauterize the exposed section of vas deferens. Important safety tip: turn off the butane torch during this step.
    6. While the vas deferens is held by the barbecue tongs, sever the end furthest from the testicle with your knife or a clean pair of kitchen scissors. Tie off the uncauterized end. Release the cauterized end from the tongs and if needed, push the testicle back into place.
    7. Stitch or staple closed the incision in your scrotum.


    * not really

  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Context: I have one child, and she took 10 years of trying, including many years and many thousands of dollars at a fertility clinic. The amount of terri-bad times that came from this are way too numerous, but in the end we lucked out and were able to have our little one. Now, we're away from fertility clinics and still trying in general, so if another baby happens along unaided we won't be unhappy- we just aren't holding our breath.

    Conclusion: It wasn't worth going through the experiences from the paragraph above, but at least I am pretty happy that it doesn't seem necessary to have anybody searing or puncturing anything around my dickzone.

    El Skid on
    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
  • agilemaniaagilemania Registered User regular
    Suckafish wrote: »
    I'm actually trying to find a way to get this procedure done without paying a shitload of money for it, since I'm uninsured. I do have access to my school's clinic but it's a private christian university and they don't do surgeries. Planned Parenthood?

    You could* do the procedure with a close friend following these easy steps:

    1. Shave balls.
    2. Freeze scrotum with frozen vegetables from freezer.
    3. Clean area with baby wipe. Ask a friend to start heating the end of a pair of barbecue tongs with a butane torch.
    4. Use the sharpest knife you can find to make a vertical incision in between your beans, inch and a half long, give or take. Take care to only cut through one side of your scrotum.
    5. One at a time, bring your vas deferens to the incision opening. Have your friend cauterize the exposed section of vas deferens. Important safety tip: turn off the butane torch during this step.
    6. While the vas deferens is held by the barbecue tongs, sever the end furthest from the testicle with your knife or a clean pair of kitchen scissors. Tie off the uncauterized end. Release the cauterized end from the tongs and if needed, push the testicle back into place.
    7. Stitch or staple closed the incision in your scrotum.


    * not really

    That might be the most horrifying thing I have ever read on these forums.

  • Lindsey LohanLindsey Lohan Registered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    Context: I have one child, and she took 10 years of trying, including many years and many thousands of dollars at a fertility clinic. The amount of terri-bad times that came from this are way too numerous, but in the end we lucked out and were able to have our little one. Now, we're away from fertility clinics and still trying in general, so if another baby happens along unaided we won't be unhappy- we just aren't holding our breath.

    Conclusion: It wasn't worth going through the experiences from the paragraph above, but at least I am pretty happy that it doesn't seem necessary to have anybody searing or puncturing anything around my dickzone.
    Well, this thread is full of too much information style sharing, so I'm going to give our tale...

    We have one child too - it took about 4.5 years of trying. We couldn't afford fertility treatments beyond the basics of hormone treatments for the wife, tests for both of us, monthly ultrasounds for follicles, and constant monitoring of the best time to try. It was (and I'm sure you can attest to this) terribly hard on a relationship. It look any semblance of fun/romance out of bedroom activities, was insanely hard on my wife since the root cause was her, and made us temporarily hate every friend of ours that did get pregnant. There was a point where I really wished it was my issue to take that guilt off her.

    In the end, we gave up. We decided we were a cat household and moved into a small apartment to save money. No more doctors, hormones, appointments, scheduled bedroom time, etc. We were pregnant within a few months. My wife was considered high risk due to blood pressure and again, all fun was taken out of the picture with way more doctor visits then most people, specialist visits and more frequent ultrasounds. Everything ended up fine, except in the hospital her blood pressure wouldn't go down for awhile and they refused to let us go home, telling my wife that didn't want to send her home and have her drop dead (not a great thing to tell a hormonal new mother, btw).

    After all that, we know that we don't want to go through trying or getting pregnant ever again. I am completely willing to have surgery to ensure that doesn't happen. A few days of discomfort is absolutely worth it to avoid the strain our relationship took. And besides, my son already told me he doesn't want to share his toys with a sibling...

    steam_sig.png
  • majinkajisanmajinkajisan Registered User
    Only one off handed comment about
    that new male birth control method they've been testing in India
    ?
    RISUG (Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance), or Vasalgel in the US, is an ionized polymer injected into the vas deferens. They would still need to cut into the scrotum, but afterwards it's small injection instead of a full snip. Then, rather than block the sperm completely (causing back pressure/pain), they're allowed to pass through, and the gel turns the little fuckers inside out. The procedure is effective with in days, rather than months with a vasectomy, and it lasts as long as they've been doing trials (10 years). If you ever need to reverse it, it can be flushed out with a second injection of baking soda (or a rectal massage, if you're into that). Clinical trails in the US should be starting this year, and Vasalgel could be on the market by 2015.

    I would urge anyone considering a Vasectomy to consider the alternatives as well, such as heat - dunk you testes in 116° F water for 45 minutes every 3 months (certainly cost effective). Also in development, there's "Clean Sheets" male birth control pill which stops ejaculation, for those who fondly remember prepubescent masturbation.
    newmalecontraception.org/index.htm

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Also in development, there's "Clean Sheets" male birth control pill which stops ejaculation, for those who fondly remember prepubescent masturbation.
    Ahh, Kindergarten was good times.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    Hell yeah, gonna boil my balls tonight. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan.

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • Lindsey LohanLindsey Lohan Registered User regular
    Hell yeah, gonna boil my balls tonight. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan.

    Try explaining to your insurance company that a hot tub should be provided to you at no cost as method of contraception.

    steam_sig.png
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    Maybe I'll just cut the water out of the equation and let my sack rest on the grill for a while. It may even give off a pleasant odor!

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
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