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Awesome: 'D'aww [chat]' by Organichu

OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
edited April 2012 in [2008-2012] Awesome Posts?
I guess I don't really understand

to me, it's like if you are really boring and no one wants to invite you to parties

and then you read some books and learn some jokes and get interesting and suddenly you are the life of the party

cool! you improved yourself and people responded!

I would think this would be pleasing

the treatment you receive from others- when you're very fat- is hard to explain. it's incredibly humiliating. at least with boring people they can be regarded as equals until they open their mouths. when you're super fat, people's eyes just glide over you. it's like you're not there. i can't really describe it adequately. hundreds of times a day someone instantaneously appraises you and then looks away. i'm not just talking about hot ladies. and the people who do talk to you often make light of it in ways that are seemingly harmless. look how many overweight teenagers turn to being the 'funny fat kid' and pulling up their shirts and shit. that's not fun socialization- it's not their way of fitting in. it's intensely embarrassing and painful, but sometimes the only way to get people to look at us.

i'm not trying to sound like a martyr. i'm fat because i eat too much- so much that even though i'm an active person and i like exercising, it's not enough. and i think i'm pretty charming and funny. i'd rather be me than a boring dude or a dumb dude.

but it still sucks really badly in a way that is complicated and too nuanced to express correctly. i dunno. of course it's better (for me, anyway- not gonna speak for everyone) to be thin than fat. i am glad that my life gets better in a lot of ways when i watch my weight. but at least in terms of socialization, it is incredibly demoralizing and at times infuriating to go from feeling like a circus bear to a human being. it's like, no, fuck you. i was a human being the entire time.

XMSODhjrer45.gif

Posts

  • EddyEddy pale Gengars I loved beside Cerulean CaveRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    I'm not fat myself, but this was very well-written on the topic of being fat in a world that judges you for it.

    edit: huh, odd that this was posted twice...

    Eddy on
  • TubeTube Says some shit Administrator, ClubPA admin
    People judge you in a similar way if you're tall, or short, or bald, or ginger, or blonde, or skinny.

  • belligerentbelligerent Registered User regular
    In certain social contexts, sure, being obviously different gets you judged, but in US culture, at least, nothing is so reviled as being super fat. If you're cute, you can get away with being short. If you're handsome, red hair isn't bad.

    Other than tabloids I've never seen anyone been given shit for being skinny (though I know that's a thing).

    But everyone everywhere gives you shit for being fat. Even other fat people.

  • Form of Monkey!Form of Monkey! Registered User regular
    I've also never had to battle weight issues myself, but this has taught me to be that much more sympathetic and mindful of the struggles faced by people who do. :^:

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    People judge you in a similar way if you're tall, or short, or bald, or ginger, or blonde, or skinny.

    Tall people are generally treated with more respect and are paid more attention. Short people get it almost as bad as fat people, yes. Being bald or ginger or blonde or skinny gets nowhere near the treatment of being overweight, especially if someone is significantly overweight. They are treated as subhuman. Dumb blonde jokes, stupid as they are, don't really compare.

    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I fucking hate you Canadians.
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu ___________PIGEON _________San Diego, CA Registered User regular
    I don't think anyone's ever given me shit for being skinny. "People treat everyone alike" has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while.

  • Form of Monkey!Form of Monkey! Registered User regular
    People judge you in a similar way if you're tall, or short, or bald, or ginger, or blonde, or skinny.

    Tall people are generally treated with more respect and are paid more attention. Short people get it almost as bad as fat people, yes. Being bald or ginger or blonde or skinny gets nowhere near the treatment of being overweight, especially if someone is significantly overweight. They are treated as subhuman. Dumb blonde jokes, stupid as they are, don't really compare.

    Why do you think that is, though? Why is weight so much different than height, hair color, or any other characteristic related to personal appearance? Is it that most of the other examples you named are things that the individual cannot help? Whereas being significantly overweight is something that that person could supposedly readily address? In terms of perception, is it that the fat person is assumed to be "too lazy" or "lack the discipline" to not overeat, regardless of the reality of the situation?

    In other words, does fatness immediately impugn that person's work ethic or sense of self respect in the eyes of others, because there is this whole bundle of other snap judgments that tag along with whatever would possess somebody to treat an overweight person as subhuman?

  • belligerentbelligerent Registered User regular
    Because Fatness is a visible sign. One that says, on a visceral level, that this person doesn't have control, or whatever. Not that I believe that. I'm 6'6" and 420lbs. Can get much bigger than that. But if you see what's attractive in current culture, it's not fat (hint, + size models start at size 12, + size stores generally don't carry anything below 14)

    I'd say people treat fat people just as poorly as they do drug addicts. I know I could be thinner if I made better choices. And that's where this bile comes from.

    "Why can't you just eat less, fatty?"

    Though, i actually enjoy being a large guy. The last thing I need is plane seats to be like 2 inches bigger and I'm gravy.

    Like, really gravy.

  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Here's a story I think is relevant to the conversation:

    My wife is overweight, and was shopping at walmart with our 18 month old daughter. Daughter got hungry, so they went over to the in-store McDonalds so they had a place to sit.

    Wife goes and orders herself a diet coke, and takes out an avocado she brought as a snack for our daughter.

    Guy comes into the McDonalds, looks at her, and starts yelling at her about how she's going to screw up our daughter and have her end up fat by eating at McDonalds just like she did. So much so the guy gets tossed out by the Mcdonald's staff.

    We don't eat at McDonalds ever. My wife eats incredibly healthily, as does our daughter. My daughter is in the 80th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight for her age, so if anything she's a bit skinny.

    But just being in a McDonalds when you're fat is enough for some people to start making assumptions and judging you. I am pretty sure nobody is going to do this kind of judging because you're tall or have red hair.

    El Skid on
    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Short people get it almost as bad as fat people, yes.

    My grade school self can vouch for this.

  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    i want it known that regardless of how fat i am i lay mad pipe and ladies love me. now that i've cleared that up.. carry on.

    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    i want it known that regardless of how fat i am i lay mad pipe and ladies love me. now that i've cleared that up.. carry on.

    naw you gay, bro

  • GoatmonGoatmon Cancel My 2:00 This meeting could get DEADLYRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    I never had much problem socially with being fat.

    My problem was always personal. A noticable sense of shame whenever clothes don't fit like they used to, whenever it's time to get a new chair because the old one is falling apart, whenever I run out of slack on a seat belt before I've buckled myself in, etc. It's uncomfortable, but I have a big list of problems that I am trying to address, and my weight is not really that huge a concern when I've got bigger, deeper problems that contribute to a number of problems, including the weight, that I have to come to terms with.

    Also, I don't really hate myself over that sort of thing like I used to. I just

    That being said, I've always been the type who functioned just fine as long as people don't fuck with me. Being 6'1", 315 lbs, and having a full beard means nobody wants to screw with the oversized hairy man, I am just fine with that.

    Goatmon on
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  • override367override367 Registered User regular
    I still feel like I'm 300 pounds instead of 200 (which is still chubby for my height, but a 36 waist is better than a 46!), it's weird. People don't treat me like they used to but I still have trouble starting conversations with strangers, especially women

    It's tough to get over

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  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    Here's a story I think is relevant to the conversation:

    My wife is overweight, and was shopping at walmart with our 18 month old daughter. Daughter got hungry, so they went over to the in-store McDonalds so they had a place to sit.

    Wife goes and orders herself a diet coke, and takes out an avocado she brought as a snack for our daughter.

    Guy comes into the McDonalds, looks at her, and starts yelling at her about how she's going to screw up our daughter and have her end up fat by eating at McDonalds just like she did. So much so the guy gets tossed out by the Mcdonald's staff.

    We don't eat at McDonalds ever. My wife eats incredibly healthily, as does our daughter. My daughter is in the 80th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight for her age, so if anything she's a bit skinny.

    But just being in a McDonalds when you're fat is enough for some people to start making assumptions and judging you. I am pretty sure nobody is going to do this kind of judging because you're tall or have red hair.

    I know I've been guilty of this sort of thinking across a wide range of behaviors. I've learned to counter these snap judgments by coming up with hypothetical reasons that mitigate the assumptions behind them. Maybe that large man eating at McDonalds used to be 100 lbs heavier and has been on a crazy diet. He is celebrating his milestone, or it's his cheat day, etc.

    Doing this consistently has made me a much less cynical person. I've gotten to the point where I generally assume that people have a good reason for doing what they are doing, even if it isn't readily apparent. Which is...refreshing. Even if they later prove me wrong, it is a much healthier state of mind.

  • LanchesterLanchester Registered User regular
    I'd say people treat fat people just as poorly as they do drug addicts. I know I could be thinner if I made better choices. And that's where this bile comes from.

    A lot of people probably see both as very similarly...taking away the legality factor.

    People definitely judge overweight people...even if it's just by a look and that obviously is shitty (that McDonalds story is awful!).

    I'm tall and skinny (6'9" and 190lbs) so I can't speak on the overweight part, but being tall has gotten me picked on as a kid in school (I think it was more from jealousy though), but as an adult people definitely don't really do anything mean. I'll just get comments like "Your mom needs to feed you!" and "I bet you play basketball!". So people judge me too...they judge everyone, it's just the situation that determines if the judging is positive or negative

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