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How do you tell someone his gf is crazy?
I have a friend named Ben. Almost a year ago, he met a girl named Julie and they immediately started dating. He started bringing her to hang out with friends, as is a normal thing to do, but we quickly realized that "normal" had no real place with this girl. The first party we went to that she attended, she heavily insinuated that she was into me and tried to talk me into some sort of group sex involving me, her, Ben, and my boyfriend. I tried a tactful "thanks but no thanks" which she kind of pouted about but seemed to move on. Later that night she decided that the best course of action would be to corner me in the kitchen in front of a group of people and try to take off my shirt. It was an uncomfortable moment to say the least. Ben obviously knew about this, it wasn't exactly a subtle move, and after Julie wouldn't listen (she was too drunk to reason with, a common occurrence) I tried to tell him it made me uncomfortable but the newness of the relationship (or something) allowed him to look past it. It never really happened again to me but she has moved on since then to another mutual friend, Ryan.
Ryan and Ben have been friends for years and so spend a lot of time hanging out. During that time, Julie always gravitates toward Ryan and has recently told him that she's in love with him. She has assured him that Ben knows and that it's totally cool if they do things. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not judging her based on non-monogamy if it's consensual. I'm judging her because Ryan has repeatedly told her "no, this makes me very uncomfortable and you need to move on" and she responds by crying, telling him that she loves and respects him more than anyone in the world, and that she doesn't understand why he can't just be with her.
I'm getting the feeling that there's almost no one she hasn't hit on in our friend group and it's starting to really bother people. Ben is losing friends because they can't stand to be around Julie and she's always there. Within a month she was at his house probably half the time, maybe more. Within 2 months she was all but moved in. By 3, officially living there. If Ben wanted to stay late at school to study, she'd cry and say she can't be alone.
Ben is a musician and until recently he was going to school for it (he just graduated). Before Julie, he was not the most motivated person but he would be in bands, jam with friends, and teach. In short, he was doing what he wanted to do. Now the two of them just sleep all day and drink all night. She's so bad for him, it's painful to see what 11 months has done. We didn't speak up earlier because we didn't think he'd possibly be able to stand her for this long. Now it looks like he's just accepted that this is the way life is going to be and I don't know if he'll ever snap out of it. How do you tell someone that his girlfriend is crazy and his friends are avoiding him because of it?
(This is a short overview of the situation, there is more crazy to be had but I had to pick a few key things. All names changed to protect the innocent, guilty, and insane alike. If ages matter, Ben is 23 and Julie is 24.)