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How much to spend on an engagement ring?
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But what my parent's did anyway, (and this is the ring my mom has worn every-day since) is they talked about what she wanted (she honestly found diamonds boring, so they got a nice sapphire set off by some small/tiny diamonds around it) and in their case, went out and picked out rings together. It was not "her telling him what she wanted." They both had opinions, and brought how they felt about each other into the process and discussed symbolism in the ring. To ME at least this sounds quite sweet.
Maybe my mom was a real exception, I don't know. Verrrry traditional couple otherwise. Dad as breadwinner, mom as stay at home (even past me going to college etc.)
I'd also say, that so long as you pick out what you feel to be "the right ring" in whatever a reasonable budget is for you, it will be great. It is not as though you leave the receipt in the box. Unless she wants that, in which case I think you'd have been out of there by this time anyway.
I wont argue with Priest that DeBeers is very good at what they do, but I have found in my age group at least, there is a strong correlation with education/liberalism and decreasing demand for a diamond ring. So perhaps things are shifting, or this just says more about my peers than women at large.
I'm sorry if I said "average cost." What I meant is "The average customer at my store pays"
Although!
This group says $3000 for the Engagement Alone.
ABC quotes $4750 on average for an Engagement Ring.
This site says $5200 for just the Engagement
JCK & The Knot (The most industry respected, but, again, salespeople) say $5200 for just the Engagement
Of those, ABC and JCK being the most respected.
I am skeptical of this, because I have noticed as a slightly aged, educated liberal that the girls that were all "OMG I WOULD NEEEEEEVVVVEEERRRR WEAR A DIAMOND" in college wound up rocking blinged out engagement rings when their time came.
Similarly, a former anti-chocolate campus crusader served a fucking fondue fountain at her last party. I guess what I'm saying is outrage is tiring and for many decreases somewhat with age.
#FreeScheck#FreeSKFM
I agree with you heartily. Moreso today than at any point in the last 40 years, women are seeking alternative rings: Rings with no gems, ring with Sapphries/Rubies/Tanzanite/ and even rarer ones like Briolite, Kunzite, Rhodolite Garnets. I hope this trend continues, for my own part, I think it is healthy, adds to the uniqueness of rings, and reduces cost for those that want to get married but are of less means. (EVERYONE deserves to have a wedding ring they enjoy, everyone. Whether it's a plain gold band or a yellow gaudy thing riddle with Emeralds.)
For my own part, My mother has a Rose Gold Ring with Diamonds, my Father a Titanium&Yellow Gold ring, my Brother's Wife Diamond and Sapphires in White gold, him with White Gold carved, my other brother's wife with Platinum and Diamond, him in platinum, my Grandfather (Native American), in Turquoise and Silver, and my best girl-friend has carved Mokume in Yellow Gold. (Petrified, carved, Wood set between Yellow Gold, no diamonds, she's a nurse.)
Personally, I'm the same way. I really don't believe in spending that much money on something I can't drive &/or live inside of. That said, you can get pretty stellar rings for 4-5k these days, even with the gold hike. I plan on spending about 6500 myself, and of all of my friends, I know I will be on the low end. (Although, thanks to being in industry, my fantastic boss will probably discount me to 4000)
I originally wanted to do an emerald or another pretty colored stone. We have a jewler as a family friend who we approached to custom make the ring. Me and the fiancé, headed over to his studio and she explained what she liked and we ended up picking white gold for the metal and then he showed us his collections of gems. Two big tackleboxes filled with precious and semi precious stones of every color you can imagine (a hot pink sapphire? ) we ended up finding a nice dark blue sapphire that she really liked and that was that. Gold at the time had jumped significantly but he gave us a deal on the metal as he bought a bunch right before it jumped up (from what I understand Gold is still stupid right now)
After it was all said and done the ring cost me under 1000cdn and she has a lovely custom made ring .
Anyways, talk to your GF about what she likes and go from there.
I've actually heard and experienced quite the opposite from Blue Nile. Maybe they've been slipping in recent years.
If you're referring to the quality of the diamond, they all have at least one certification - though I understand some are more preferred over others; GIA vs AGS, etc.
After I had someone tell me in a store that, "This diamond has a GIA certification, so you knows it's good," I knew on-line was for me. Just to add some advice so this isn't too negative, having a certificate doesn't mean it's any good , it just means it's been rated - so it could be shit, it's just 'officially' shit.
If buying the wrong ring is going to be a dealbreaker, you are marrying the wrong woman.
Those sources all seem to rely on respondent surveys from people that follow/subscribe to MEGABRIDE websites/magazines. Having a knot.com account, I can't imagine very many people scoping that site out on the regular if they intend to go a very simple route. As such, I imagine the results will skew pretty high.
#FreeScheck#FreeSKFM
"If you don't know who Kendra is, I'm officially not speaking to you."
Didn't go with a diamond, because she doesn't like them (too plain). In the end, tanzanite+ custom ring was around $2k.
Yeah, it destroyed the surprise of what the ring will look like. Still managed to surprise her with the actual engagement proposal though.
As far as actual use goes: she wears the wedding band or engagement ring alternatingly, depending on mood or classiness of wherever she plans on being that day.
I think it's less, "Will she freak out" and more, "I would like to spend money on things that she'll like."
It's something worth putting lots of thought and research into.
What she appreciated was not how much it cost, but the effort I put into finding something she'd really like.
Also any % of your income or # months salary is bull. The dollar value thing doesn't matter. Spend the time and effort to get her something with meaning/suited to her and she won't care if you got it out of a cracker jack box.
I asked her about the kind of rings she liked and used that as a guideline.
I think I'm going to have to do more investigation with her family to find out what kind of rings are preferred (after asking for their blessing, of course), and then we'll leap into the actual purchasing.
For the record, right now my hard limit is $5,000.
I think this can be locked unless there is anything pressing someone would like to add.
Moissanite is brittle? The articles I was reading about it said that it's used as a cover for industrial equipment as a replacement for diamonds? I can't imagine Moissanite is brittle when it's used as a covering for anvils?
Hardness and brittleness have high correlation in minerals (not talking about alloys). Moissanite is similar to diamond (both in hardness and brittleness); it's the $-size-hardness value proposition that might make someone want to use a moissanite anvil vs a diamond one.
Regardless of this though, theknot.com is the website in the Bridal business. No self-respecting jeweler that wants bridal business does not advertise with them and buy customer information from them. When we began dealing with them, our business jumped an insane amount.
You may, as a guy, think it's crazy, but far too many women have bridal books even before they start dating. It is something bred into Western Culture. I agree that it is batshit crazy, but again, as I have said, DeBeers is very good at what they do. There is a reason everyone knows "What Diamonds Are:" Just because a survey is taken from a group of people doesn't mean it's false. Survey samples are always important, but I only listed four websites, I'm sure if I felt like spending the time, I could find another 50. Demographics are very important. I suppose my challenge to you is to find a statistic post-2000 that labels any "average engagement ring cost" at less than $2250.
Again, I'm not saying it's a good thing, but you should never try and buck the bridal trend/stereotype without knowing that your future fiance is kosher with it first, because it is a real quick way to hurt her feelings if you're not sensitive to her dreams of marriage.
Also, I have seen several people recommending colored gems, a couple of thoughts:
Also, there are two terms to be wary of (Salesman Doubletalk)
A Lab Ruby is simply a Ruby Grown in a Lab
A Simulated Ruby is simply Red Glass.
It is far easier to lab create colored gems of quality than it is to create lab diamond of quality because far less pressure is needed, and as a result, it is infinitely easier to guide and adjust the crystal direction along the process. Lab Colored gems are inexpensive and look fantastic. There are a great many gems (Tanzanite included) that cannot be created in a Lab as of current date.
In regards to the Diamond & Moissanite Discussion:
Mohs Hardness Scale
It is true: Diamonds are the Hardest thing known to man. But you have to think about this like an Engineer. What hardness means is that when you apply pressure between a Diamond and any other physical Material Known to Man, the Diamond will not be scratched, the other material will be. If you are interested more in this, look up the Rockwell Hardness Test. Moissanite is a 9.25 on the Hardness Scale, Diamond is a 10. Moissanite is the hardest material besides Diamond. The scale is logarithmic - so a Diamond is 10 times harder than a Corundum, 100 times harder than Topaz, and 10000 times harder than glass.
What this means for the end user is little. Hardness will make no practical difference in a person's life once they go above 9. For Colored gems however, it is very important. Sapphires and Rubies are pretty resilient, but after 20 years, they will need replaced if excessively banged around. Emeralds have a lifetime of about 15 years if not cared for well. Pearls and Opals last even less. Precious gems are exactly that: Precious. They are not to be trifled with. This is one of the advantages of Diamonds, they're nearly indestructible. (Nearly!)
Brittleness is the layman's term for Tensile Strength.
All gems of any make have low tensile strength. There are two predominant crystal structures when talking about Non-Metallic Crystals, and both of them have low Tensile Strength. What this means is that if you take a hammer to a diamond, it is not hard to shatter it. However, diamonds make great cutting tools due to their hardness and the fact that you don't need a perfect crystal to make a cut - in fact, it's more advantageous to have an irregular crystal doing the cutting than a faceted crystal. The only reason tool makers are trending towards Moissanite is that it is far cheaper to source Moissanite dust from labs than it is to get Diamond Dust, which has a great many more applications and is in heavy demand. There is also no appreciable loss of performance between using the two in tooling.
Brilliance: Moissanite *does* have a higher rated Brilliance than Diamonds. This is a scientific fact. Brilliance is not "How much the ring shines" however. That is strictly related to the ratio of the angles between each facet. Brilliance is the measurement of how much light entering through the culet is deflect up through the table of the gem. Moissanite has a higher amount of it. What this means for the end user is that a Moissanite and Diamond cut exactly the same, Moissanite will appear slightly brighter than the Diamond.
Color: Moissanite will have characteristic blue and purple tones to it. Many customers love these. I myself love the look of Moissanite. But I also love the look of Diamond. Both have their place. Diamonds will bring a far greater range of colors to the table, skewed slightly towards the end of Yellow and Red.
The fact that Moissanite is being used as a cover for anvils actually has almost nothing to do with it's physical properties. The major reason to use any coating on an anvil is to do two things: 1st: Reduce Resonance when hammering tools against the Anvil, thereby increasing Power Delivery, Safety, and Quality. 2nd: Reduce the chance that flecks of the Anvil will be scoured off and absorbed by the super-heated metal you are forming, thereby reducing the quality of alloy. A Moissanite coating is the cheapest, most resilient thing compared to Diamond, and far more effective than constantly having to reapply silicate coatings.
THIS THIS THIS!
Megaman: Don't set yourself to a limit. Really. Don't. I don't care whether it's a $1000 limit or a $30000 limit. Don't have money on your mind when you walk into the store. Have in mind a ring. An image in your mind of what you believe your future wife would like. Formulate that Ring with whatever associate, jeweler, or whatnot helps you. Only when you have found that perfect ring do you begin to talk turkey. If they can't meet your expectations, then move on to another place and try again. If you start with money, you go home with dissatisfaction. Start with what you want, and what you think she wants, and end with Money. You will be far happier.
Please take it from me as a guy who's been in the industry ten years, seen dozens of engagements, and a great many more returns from broken engagements: The one's who succeed are the couples that are sensitive to their wants and needs, and go in trying to meet them. Those that come into us with price in mind end up "settling" and being unhappy. I can very nearly guarantee this.
Love her. Don't buy her. Love her.
Not saying i disagree or anything, but i think its an important distinction of opinion.
I agree with you 100% here.
It doesn't necessarily mean that it's false, but I strongly suspect that there is a sampling bias baked in. In the knot's case, the type of people that are likely to register for a knot.com account, actually read the dozens of emails they forward a month, and respond to a survey about how much their engagement ring cost are not representative of the population at large. However, I don't find it terribly surprising that those type of people are the ones rocking $5,000+ wedding rings on average.
For what it's worth (not a whole lot), people magazine pulled $2100 seemingly out of their asses in 2007.
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20059251,00.html
Hell, a number of people in this thread have said they spent way less than $2000. Granted that's pure anecdotal non-scientific stuff, but I find it particularly hard to believe that the average dude getting married is financially unfucked enough to spend $5,000 on a ring.
I'm just skeptical of surveys run by the industry big shots of an industry designed to take as much of your money as possible.
#FreeScheck#FreeSKFM
.6 carat diamond white gold. Plus an extra 300 on the engagement ring that fit into the wedding band, like a puzzle almost. I thought it was cool.
There is no way I would have spent more than like 2500. It's a sparkly rock. My wife would've flipped if I'd spent more than that as well. She works in non-profit and I'm a teacher, so five grand is a ridiculous thought for us.
Plus I think gaudy rings look silly.
e: These are my opinions, and the opinions of my wife. I understand many women are "diamonds only." I was just adding what I paid for mine, and anecdotally saying that we are both completely satisfied with our purchases.
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I've heard it bandied about around H/A that the plural of anecdote isn't data though.
None of the friends I have that are married spent less than $7500. So, you know, it happens a lot.\
I spent about $2500 for a .33 carat center stone with 6 (i think?) stones in the band. 19K White Gold. Wish I wouldn't have caved to their "19K" upsell, but whatever. Another $1000 for the band, which is white gold, 19K, with 8 stones to match the engagement band, sans the center stone.
The .33 stone isn't huge at all, but it's noticeably more brilliant than any of the rings her friends have, that cost 3-4 times to price. Size ain't everything.
For funsies I just played with Blue Nile's Recently Purchased Engagement ring section.
http://www.bluenile.com/engagement-rings/recently-purchased-engagement-rings?track=ta
Now assuming this displays all purchases in a set range (I have no idea if this is the case or not), it actually does show the median to be around $5300, which is honestly higher than I was expecting and supports your claim.
The sub-1500 ones don't look that terrible. Yeah, most of them are 14k and the stones are on the small side, but you know $1500 is a lot of scratch for a lot of people.
Also, this only shows the diamond+gold rings, and there is a population out there that is apparently fine with less bloody stones.
#FreeScheck#FreeSKFM
It is possible to post in a thread about engagement rings without injecting a passive aggressive attitude, I think. Some people like diamonds. You do not. The OP is asking about how much people spend. He's not asking about your moral standpoint on the diamond industry.
This is a cool thing to do, right here. For many people, it creates more of a memory and makes the ring, and the idea it represents, more significant.
That said, I'll let it be known that I picked out my wife's engagement ring based on ring designs she liked. She loves her ring, and only takes it off to cook or put on lotion or such. I payed about $400 I believe? Why did I pay only $400 you may ask? Do I just not lover her enough? Nope. She told me she'd punch me in the throat if I spent more than that.
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For me (as a girl) this was a big problem. I don't trust any diamond company, but I really preferred a diamond. So I told my husband to look for an heirloom diamond from his mother. He did, spent very little, proposed, and all is well!
I guess I just don't understand this mantra.
People trust banks (well, sometimes.)
People trust many online institutions with extremely sensitive data.
People trust hospitals.
But for fucks sake, don't go to a diamond company... noooooo, we're the bogey man. I swear.
/sarcasm.
There are far more things to be afraid of in this world. There are rather easy ways of assuring that your chosen jeweler won't sheister you. If you don't trust them, I hope to god you buy all of your cars brand new direct from the manufacturer, not off the lot. Your house better be brand new, built yourself so that you know it's quality. Keep your money in a safe and never, ever use the internet, because people might be sniffing the packets to get your private information.
In the 21st century, you have only two options: Tin-Foil-Hat-Living-In-The-Mountains or accepting that life is life and there are some things you can't fight.
I think a great target price is under a grand. Then take all the money you just saved by buying a ring that had some thought put into it but isn't an overpriced hunk of crap (seriously, diamonds are 100% hype and gold is stupidly overpriced) and go somewhere really cool for your honeymoon.
EDIT: For instance, if I were to ask my gf to marry me, this is the sort of ring I'd prolly get her:
She's a engineer like me, loves steampunky things, etc.
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However, I think this thread has ran it's course. This was never an issue of my girlfriend being a money grubbing hussy who wouldn't love me or say yes without a huge ring, it was a question of me wanting to sidestep a potential social faux pas for not making whatever investment most people did. This also was never a moral issue of hating on diamond companies or an effort to stage a revolt against the status quo of using diamonds - again, just looking for some more information on people's experiences.