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I'm in the mood for a little vivisection. [X-Com LP IV]

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Posts

  • RankenphileRankenphile Keep the change you filthy animalRegistered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Well, fingers crossed I get called up to Terra! Good luck with your special training, guys!

  • alternatingAberrationalternatingAberration All Are Free Within The BiomassRegistered User regular
    Agh, I kinda want to be on Team Terra and help out on the home-front. But...



    Yes sir, director, sir.

    alternatingAberration on
    VMICjI7.jpg?1
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Director, I would be honored to consult on the training program for Ultima and Ratio.

    We had a similar program for Aquatic when... well, you remember the details, and no-one else is allowed to know anything.

    I'll admit the survival rate could have been better, but under the circumstances, I think it was a remarkable success.

    2MyOx.png
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Please excuse me Director, but your comment on the research teams activities:

    "Xenologists are working to extract information from captured Alien Commanders that will give us the location of our target."

    has reminded me that we need to increase our cleaning supplies budget. Mops and buckets, in particular...

  • BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    Well, I have to say, there's mixed reaction among the ground troops here at Happenstance. Some are running around yelling "FUCK YEAH!", which, combined with how trigger happy they are, has resulted in the weapon storage being locked down for the time being, as well as the mess hall being closed for repairs. The less enthusiastic have taken to cowering and hiding wherever they can; I've already had to kick 2 of them out of my Interceptor.

    leonroughdividesig.jpg
    PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 XBL - BlitzAce1981
  • FishmanFishman scientia potentia est Robot ProvocateurRegistered User regular
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Director, I would be honored to consult on the training program for Ultima and Ratio.

    We had a similar program for Aquatic when... well, you remember the details, and no-one else is allowed to know anything.

    I'll admit the survival rate could have been better, but under the circumstances, I think it was a remarkable success.

    I must admit your communiqué has pre-empted my own, in which I was going to offer you something slightly more substantial then a simple consultation position.

    As you well know, the UN has specifically and legally barred you from holding any position through which you can exert any influence on the progress of Earth affairs. However, while I'm capable of continuing on managing X-Com operational capacity, I really need a specialist with the expertise and experience to manage Project "Get Your Ass To Mars". This person will need to co-ordinate and manage interactions between the Science Team, Manufacturing, Logistics, and the Contact Teams; streamlining the disparate units towards a cohesive goal.. As far as I'm concerned the target of Mars is well outside the jurisdiction of Earth, so I can think of no one better to manage this Herculean effort and give us the best set up to achieve our objective.

    I believe funding council shares in my opinion, as when I was having the heated debate with them outlining my disappointment in the loss of the United States and the new strategic direction for X-Com and plan to put a team directly on Mars, they vocally and emphatically suggested that "you'd have to be mentally unhinged to think this would work, or could make this work", which I felt immediately recommended and endorsed you for the role.

    The project would operate under the operational division, but you'd only report to me and you could take you pick of executive staff. So, what do you say? Want the role of Programme Director, Get-your-ass-to-Mars? Or Project Manager. Pick your title here, really.

    Adm. Fishman
    X-Com Director of Operations.

    Fishman on
    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
    AntimatteralternatingAberration
  • AntimatterAntimatter The First Mechanized Ninja Repent!Registered User regular
    YES I SUPPORT THIS

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  • LaringtonLarington Registered User
    Ouch, looks like some poor sods are going to be put in the furnace soon, can't say I envy them.
    The development of the new space-capable troop transport (and related training materials and simulator development) continues apace.

    Wish we had a weapon that could reliably knock out the Battleships without risking our assets though, long range missiles just get shot out of the sky and even the new ship design, though capable by current internal estimates, will likely struggle to compete with the sheer brute force firepower of the enemies largest vessel. Out of the frying pan...

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    I would be honored, sir.

    As for the official title, as good as get-your-ass-to-Mars sounds on internal documents (and I encourage it there), we will need something a little less... X-Com sounding for any external documentation. Project Ares seems simple to pass as one of our standard think tanks while paying tribute to those who came before us.

    And, if I may be so bold, Chief of Martian Operations would look very good on a resume, sir, but project manager would also be fine. If you'd prefer.

    This is, of course, a million-to-one longshot. But we'll at least die defiant.

    2MyOx.png
  • alternatingAberrationalternatingAberration All Are Free Within The BiomassRegistered User regular
    Project Get-Your-Ares-To-Mars

    VMICjI7.jpg?1
  • AntimatterAntimatter The First Mechanized Ninja Repent!Registered User regular
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Shit still wounded.

    Patch me up Doc.

    Spoiler:
  • FishmanFishman scientia potentia est Robot ProvocateurRegistered User regular
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    I would be honored, sir.

    As for the official title, as good as get-your-ass-to-Mars sounds on internal documents (and I encourage it there), we will need something a little less... X-Com sounding for any external documentation. Project Ares seems simple to pass as one of our standard think tanks while paying tribute to those who came before us.

    And, if I may be so bold, Chief of Martian Operations would look very good on a resume, sir, but project manager would also be fine. If you'd prefer.

    This is, of course, a million-to-one longshot. But we'll at least die defiant.

    Excellent; Chief of Martian Operations, Project Ares it is. I'll probably cop some flak from the oversight committee, but I figure if we succeed, we'll be able to dictate our own retirement packages, and if we fail, we'll probably all be dead anyway.

    Get Lt. Iolo to set up with whatever you need and take the Heinlein Conference Room as project control centre.

    Oh, and try not to get unnecessarily shot until this is all over.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Dear Director,
    I'm aware there have been situations where I've been a liability to X-COM due to my questionable psychic defenses.

    In the event I'm found unsuitable for the Mars Mission, I'd like to volunteer to take command of Contact Team Terra.

    Someone has to keep Earth from turning into a complete catastrophic clusterfuck, whilst the rest of X-COM go to Mars and finish this.

    Might as well be me.

    Kind regards

    Captain Karl

    Spoiler:
  • smofsmof The meanest dinosaur Registered User regular
    Karl's just worried they won't have room on the ship to Mars for his extensive collection of fine whiskeys

  • FishmanFishman scientia potentia est Robot ProvocateurRegistered User regular
    Candidate Recipients,

    Many of these contact details are somewhat dated and I have little guarantee that any of you are still monitoring these channels, but for those of you that are, please review the following list.
    Spoiler:

    Did you find your name above?

    Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?

    We're looking to include an additional 10-20 Soldiers in the X-Com program. We can't brief you on the nature of the threat we're dealing with, the equipment you'll be using, or the theatre of operations, but rest assured that you'll be part of the most elite fighting force on the face of the planet. No, better than them. Yes, better than them, too.

    We only have room for a third of the names in the list above, so preference will be given to those who respond swiftly and have been waiting longest. If you are still interested in joining an active multinational strike force and making a real difference to future global advancement, please !confirm your interest back through secure channels. This offer will expire at some arbitrary point in the few days.

    Certainty of death, *small* chance of success... What are you waiting for?

    Fishman on
    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
    Larington
  • DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    !confirm Sweet jumping Jesus !confirm! Put me in coach, I'm ready to die horribly in a hail of plasma play!

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, I feel I should warn you: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    !confirm This is it ma. They're sending me to war.

    I'm gonna be a hero.

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  • ASimPersonASimPerson And they will tremble again at the sound of our silence.Registered User regular
    !confirm

    Ready to report, sir.

    ASimPerson on
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    SE++ Forum Battle Archive | PST = Pacific Standard Time | DRUNKSTUCK: A Homestuck recap
  • FlayFlay Registered User regular
    !confirm

    I'm ready to die for my planet.

    Flay on
  • SupraluminalSupraluminal Registered User regular
    !confirm that I'm ready for the meatgrinder! My limbs and organs (and bones, etc., whatever's necessary really) for Earth!

  • Indie WinterIndie Winter passive-aggressive raven Registered User regular
    funny

    I always wanted to die in space

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    !confirming my interest!

    Gimme a gun and put me in front, sir! If I'm gonna die, I wanna die awesome


  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    !Confirm. Give me a laser pistol and send me to the next underwater alien mall we can find. Maybe this time I'll taste a tiny bit of glory before I die as an embarrassment to the X-com program.

    Please excuse me Director, but your comment on the research teams activities:
    "Xenologists are working to extract information from captured Alien Commanders that will give us the location of our target."
    has reminded me that we need to increase our cleaning supplies budget. Mops and buckets, in particular...
    With America dropping their funding, it may be time to break open the "In Case of Rankenphile" closet.
    You'll want to ignore the smaller bottles, the vials, the syringes, the baggies, the body bags, the impromptu burial kits, the DIY cremation kits, the beakers, the test tubes, the rubber hoses, anything inflatable and pretty much anything that looks like it may have been designed to drug a horse.

    You're just there for the mops and the buckets.
    Oh, and the thick rubber gloves. You'll probably be able to use them as well.
    Maybe take the filter masks.

    Edit: And for god's sake, don't make eye contact. No matter what you hear or see, remember that. No eye contact.

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • GrimmyTOAGrimmyTOA Registered User regular
    I've been cooling my heels at Glossolalia base forever. Although I didn't make the list of potentials, I've got what it takes and hereby formally !request reassignment to Happenstance.

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  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    Get my ass outta this hospital bed. The food sucks and the nurses are ugly.

    Get me in my armor and on some red, dusty soil. Mars is going to get fucked.

  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    I've been dreaming of going to Mars.

    (where mutants drive plastic cars)

    Ivar on
  • El GuacoEl Guaco Registered User regular
    !confirm

    I need to spill some Martian blood.




  • ImperfectImperfect Registered User regular
    !confirm

    I never made it onto the Aquatic team before it was uh... Shut down, let's say.

    Hopefully I get a chance to do some good up earthside!

  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    I will continue to shoot down all the things.

    That is what I am particularly good at, after all.

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  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 Registered User regular
    I feel the Need.

    The Need to make martians bleed on they own soil.

  • KainyKainy Registered User regular
    !Confirm that I'd like to throw my meat into the grinder of protecting our home turf! It'd be a shame if Rank got done fucking every non-human thing on Mars and came back to an Earth without hookers and blow.

    Kainy on
    Thanks to anyone who voted for my friend's shield in the Dark Souls 2 contest! He made it in to the top 30, so he's got a chance to be chosen!
  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    !Confirm

    Heard a lot of talk about this Ranky fella. Y'all ain't seen nothing yet!

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  • RankenphileRankenphile Keep the change you filthy animalRegistered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    Kainy wrote: »
    !Confirm that I'd like to throw my meat into the grinder of protecting our home turf! It'd be a shame if Rank got done fucking every non-human thing on Mars and came back to an Earth without hookers and blow.
    If it won't hurt his chances, I'd like to endorse this volunteer. He has a good sense of priorities.

  • Nova_CNova_C Sniff Sniff Snorf Yellowknife, NTRegistered User regular
    !Confirm

    Ready and able, sir. It's a privilege to finally be considered. I can assure you that these few years on the waiting list have not been spent idle and I have continued honing my skills to a razor's edge.

    Nova_C on
  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Awwww son of a biiiiitch I'm probably too late. !Confirm

    I've been dying to get out there and avenge some of Earth's finest since I first saw these threads! Let me at 'em!

  • ForceVoidForceVoid Registered User regular
    !Confirm

    Yep, ready to see my guts be seared out. Well...someone's guts anyway.

    3DS Friend Code: 1547-5213-0970
    PM if you add me!
  • ImperfectImperfect Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Awwww son of a biiiiitch I'm probably too late. !Confirm

    I've been dying to get out there and avenge some of Earth's finest since I first saw these threads! Let me at 'em!

    Even if we're too late, this is shaping up to be a bit of a meat-grinder operation anyhow. Expect the first suckersrecruits to need replacement quickly.
    Spoiler:

  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Yeah, my stint on the Aquatic Division was entirely too short. At least medical recovery took long enough that Director Fishman is willing to call me in!

    I bagged one of those motherfuckers, and I'm hoping to score a lot more on the surface.

This discussion has been closed.