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Brother Dating Problems

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Posts

  • BlazeFireBlazeFire Registered User regular
    Do you have any uncles or family friends who would be good male role models?

  • Reverend_ChaosReverend_Chaos Suit Up! Spokane WARegistered User regular
    You might want to look into some programs, like Big Brothers that would perhaps give him a positive male role model.

    “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro—I'm Broda!”
  • StasisStasis Registered User regular
    I'll hold back on my judgment of your parents, but suffice it to say that I'm confident they've contributed to his behavior.

    If he listens to and respects you, though, I'd just be as honest as you can in telling him why what he's doing is harmful and give him advice on what he should be doing instead. He needs to understand, not be faced with anger, threats, and punishment, and anything you can do to make him feel like you're on his side is better. The angle needs to be helping him be a better person, rather than making him stop what he's doing.

    I would start with the fact that he should ignore anybody pressuring him to get a girlfriend or have sex, if either is the case. Tell him he shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone, and anybody who would have him believe that is being foolish. He doesn't need them. Second, tell him from your own perspective why no girl should be comfortable with him being so aggressive with them. He needs to slow down and realize that girls are equals, and he should reconsider spending any time with whoever's got him believing he should be demanding nude pictures from girls, because those people are harmful to him.

    As for your personal situation, it's up to you whether you're even going to get involved, considering you're busy with college. But it seems you care about him, so if I were in your shoes I would definitely call or Skype or whatever you can do and talk to him about it. This really only needs to be a 30 minute conversation to start with, maybe an hour depending on how open he is with you, and I know for me, it would weigh on my mind far more if I did nothing than if I were to call him and talk to him about it. Check back with him and with your parents after a few days or however long it has normally been between these incidents and see how things are going, and, if you're up to it, let your brother know that he can come to you and you'll help him, not get mad or yell at him.

  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    I remember being the little brother and doing stupid shit. Nothing of this nature, but equally delinquent. THE ONLY THING THAT HELPED was when my big sister talked to me eye-to-eye.

    Specifically, I remember she started the conversation by acknowledging the shitty house dynamic and how it's probably leading me to do dumb shit. I also particularly remember feeling oh-so-mature that we were able to discuss "adult" issues together.

    Just be really candid and don't try to talk down or sugarcoat anything. You'd be surprised what kids at that age can understand.

  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    A lot of people have said that its not your job to parent your brother, but as an older sister myself I completely understand wanting to be there and to help him out any way you can. As an older sibling, especially with a big age gap, we're in a pretty unique position cuz we're still young enough to see all these issues and remember our own experiences, but we're old enough that younger siblings look up to us. Not every sibling relationship is like that, but it sounds like your brother wants your attention and your advice

    Talk to your brother and let him know that the same things that he's doing to girls is something you go through even now and that its hurtful and uncomfortable and not the kind of man you want him to become. Talk to him about peer pressure at school and about girls. This is a rough age and middle school kids can be really cruel. Statis's post is awesome, you don't want to beat him down, you want to let him know that you care about him and that you want things to be right in his life.

    It might not be your JOB to keep him out of trouble but it is your responsibility to stay connected with him. It seems like he needs someone in his life and even though you're not a parent you're still an important person in his life. A lot of people don't feel that way about family but I bet money that he really looks up to you. Also gnometank is on the money, I guarantee your college offers counseling and I guarantee its free. From your posts it seems like there's a lot going on that we don't know about but a counselor can help you work through all that, which will 100% make it easier to talk your brother in a constructive way.

  • bean23bean23 Registered User regular
    Your brother could be in a lot of trouble from this, so I'm going to give brief/direct advice.

    1. As many people have pointed out, you can communicate to your brother how his behavior is seen by others.
    2. Show him examples of negative results. There are news stories about kids who have had legal problems due to sexting out there. Show those to him and tell him that he needs to stop or he will have those problems. Your brother does not want to have to register as a sex offender for his entire life as even young offenders have far more difficulty finding jobs and places to live. Currently, most state's laws make this permanent regardless of the sex offender's age at the time of their crime.
    3. Since he is a child, there is the option to take away his ability to do these things. Take his phone and computer away and make him write a letter to your parents that admits everything he has done so that he takes responsibility for it, and then have him write about the possible repercussions of his actions and why he won't do those things again. Until he does this satisfactorily, he cannot have a phone or use the PC. If he fails to do this within a week, you can destroy his Facebook account. If you can't do this because you are a big sister, then you need to show the potential results to your parents and explain that this is important because he could be placed on probation, be sent to a juvenile detention center, and worst of all could be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.
    4. Whatever else you do, you should immediately format his PC hard drive and telephone so that you know it no longer contains anything illegal.

  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    I did many stupid things when I was a kid, I remember vividly how my mother punished me, or ordered me to sit down, and then proceed to give me a short sermon, opening my eyes to what was right or wrong. I underwent physical punishment twice before reaching 16 years of age, and that was a blessing.

    The key word for the problem with your brother is discipline, I am afraid that just talking to him won't do much. I really like bean23 advice.

    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • zagdrobzagdrob Registered User regular
    I've read through this thread and have a lot of thoughts. I was a 12 year old once and know the pressures / feelings / confusion that go with it, and realize how hard it is going to be to actually make a change in his behavior. That sort of behavior is the norm in groups of boys between about ten and...let's say twenties, but it goes on longer. Just most of the time, the behavior is talking within the group, not externalized and actually turned into action.

    So, he's probably on Xbox Live or one of the chans and thinks the things people say they do is true, not just BS posturing.

    So anyway...my thoughts. Counseling is going to come up a lot because it really helps.

    First and foremost is dealing with your parents. This shouldn't be your problem - it's your parent's job to be parents. Since it's being made your problem, and it sounds like you are accepting it, you need to draw clear lines with your parents about what you will and won't do, and what they need to do before he gets in real trouble for harassment - expelled or arrested. Real parenting and punishments, like taking away his phone / texting privileges, reduced internet privileges, some sort of internet monitoring / filtering, etc.

    I'd also say family counseling would be good, but it sounds like it's a no-starter with your dad.

    Second, you need to get some help yourself. Talk to someone who knows your situation better, a close friend or even a counselor yourself. See if your college provides counseling services, or if your parent's insurance covers some sort of counseling / help. Sitting down and discussing everything with your counselor will help you sort out what you want / need to do.

    Third, is dealing with your brother. Again, counseling would be very good for him...as I'm getting older, I'm beginning to think that every kid should be seeing a psychologist or counselor regularly as they try and navigate puberty / teen years.

    I'd recommend taking a more passive stance with your brother himself. Tell him what he's doing is creepy, it's not how you should act towards women, it's going to get him in trouble, and if he gets a reputation as a creep girls aren't going to want to have anything to do with him. That reputation is going to stick with him all the way through high school.

    Put it into perspective by asking him how he would feel if someone was saying / doing those things to you. Try to get him to realize the girls he's harassing are someone else's sister, etc and what he's doing isn't cool.

    Most of the other stuff - the plenty of fish in the sea, you'll find someone type of stuff - isn't going to resonate. A 12 year old doesn't have the perspective to think that they will eventually meet someone, somewhere. But they do have the perspective to understand that if you get branded as a creep, you will become a social pariah. If your buddies girlfriends think you are a creep, you won't have buddies except for other creepy outcasts. Does he want to sit at the loser table in the lunchroom for four years?

  • StasisStasis Registered User regular
    Punishment needs to be reserved for when more civil options are exhausted, if used at all. Words like "punishment" and "discipline" always leave a sour taste in my mouth, because they're just different words to mean forcibly getting your way. (Not necessarily physical force, mind you, but still force.) Making a kid upset with you is the quickest way to make him rebel, not to mention that taking away his phone or his internet access turns this into a transaction rather than a lesson: "Stop doing what you're doing and you'll get your phone back." He doesn't learn anything about ethics or right and wrong that way, and he either goes back to it when he gets the phone back or finds another way around it.

    I know no one's saying that punishment alone would solve the problem, but any talking, teaching, or counseling is going to be hindered, not helped, by punishment. He's probably just going to get mad at you and not want to listen to what you have to say. Strike the base of the problem rather than the result.

    If anything is taken away from him, it needs to be to protect him from the dangers he's bringing upon himself, not as a way to teach him a lesson.

  • bean23bean23 Registered User regular
    It's my belief that when someone is doing something dangerous like asking underage girls for nude photos, parents should immediately control the situation. If your kid was using heroin, would you not take it away and simply hope that he learned to ethically not use it? I'm not saying that this is a sufficient replacement for talking to him about his actions. Ideally, if my directions were followed, he would write a paper, gain more understanding of the issue, and also protect himself and his family from potential legal issues.

  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited January 2013
    He's testing boundaries. Like all teenagers he's learned that he can get a reaction by saying shit, but doesn't completely understand the difference between a good reaction and a bad reaction yet.

    The role of the parent (or in this case you, I guess? That's kind of a whole nother problem) is to clarify "hey this is the kind of reaction you're not trying to be getting in life." If he doesn't fairly immediately respond to a "hey you're being a creep and no girl you want to get with is going to respond well to this" kind of talk, then just take his phone. He's 12, you're bigger than him, just take it. You don't need to hit him or anything, but some dudes seem to need a bit more of the stick end of the spectrum to get the empathy thing down.

    ed:
    Making a kid upset with you is the quickest way to make him rebel, not to mention that taking away his phone or his internet access turns this into a transaction rather than a lesson: "Stop doing what you're doing and you'll get your phone back." He doesn't learn anything about ethics or right and wrong that way, and he either goes back to it when he gets the phone back or finds another way around it.

    there's more things to consider here than just his personal development. Random girls getting creepy texts from him is something that needs to stop immediately, for their benefit, for his, and to prevent this thing from escalating into a situation that leads to somebody getting sued or charged with a sex crime. There's nothing necessarily wrong with turning discipline into a transaction, as long as that's not all it is.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    it was the smallest on the list but
    Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
  • EriosErios Registered User regular
    You should probably let him know that asking for nudes of girls his age is a great way to (possibly) gain possession of something VERY illegal and/or end up on the wrong side of an angry dad with a shotgun.

    Steam: erios23, Live: Coconut Flavor, Origin: erios2386.
  • heybabykannibalheybabykannibal Registered User regular
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

  • GonmunGonmun He keeps kickin' me in the dickRegistered User regular
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's still time to try and turn him around rather then letting him get the label of a sex offender.

    desc wrote: »
    ~ * swole patrol flying roundhouse kick top performer recognition: April 2014 * ~
    If you have a sec, check out my podcast: War and Beast Twitter Facebook
  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    He refuses to listen. His parents refuse to listen. I'm not exactly sure I see other options here.

  • GonmunGonmun He keeps kickin' me in the dickRegistered User regular
    Esh wrote: »
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    He refuses to listen. His parents refuse to listen. I'm not exactly sure I see other options here.

    Child protective services perhaps?

    desc wrote: »
    ~ * swole patrol flying roundhouse kick top performer recognition: April 2014 * ~
    If you have a sec, check out my podcast: War and Beast Twitter Facebook
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    it sucks being the older sister and being away at school and not being able to help. It sucks a lot. There are only 4 years between my brother and I, so when I went off to Uni, he was going into High School. But at that point I'd been almost his sole source of stability for about six years, with our parents both working late nights and going back to school. I went away to school and my brother's world crumbled around him, essentially. My father never learned how to talk to my brother and my mother felt guilty for having not been around for him during his middle school years, so she spoiled him.

    I was the only one who would offer him any sort of personal discipline and the only one that he would talk to about things. Until he became a resentful little shit who blamed all his problems in life on me going away to uni and abandoning him.

    The best thing for you as his older sister is to tell him that you are there for him to talk to, and to try and help him figure out why what he's doing is wrong. I'm going to echo everybody else who are telling you that you're not his parent and there's only so much you should be expected to do. But I'm going to understand that as his big sister, it sometimes hurts to see your baby brother in trouble and not sure of himself. My advice here, don't push it too much. Seriously. You can only lay out the different options in front of him, but you cannot make him choose. Doing this will lead to serious resentment and probably worse relations with your brother. I say this form personal experience.


    Counseling is a great idea, both for your brother and for you. You're under a ton of stress with Uni, to have this added onto you is just crazy. Keep your head on straight, do your best to look after yourself while still being there for your brother as best you can.


    People have made mention of taking away his phone, and my immediate reaction to that was "but then how can he call his sister if he needs to talk to her, which might be vitally important". I'm not very technologically advanced, I don't have a smart phone or anything approaching similar to one. So yeah, if he has a phone that does anything more than send texts and make phone calls, I'd take it away or suggest it being taken away from him. But I'd still make sure to suggest giving him an easy option for calling you when he needs to talk.

    Best of luck on this one.

  • JohnnyCacheJohnnyCache Starting Defense Place at the tableRegistered User regular
    Gonmun wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues beor a cause no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    He refuses to listen. His parents refuse to listen. I'm not exactly sure I see other options here.

    Child protective services perhaps?

    For a nonviolent nuclear family? You'll get the eyeroll of all times

    OP, I don't have a lot of experience with this age group of kid (except for being one), but what I do have leads me to believe you'll have better luck reaching through his thick skull if he's around you by himself for a while. Can you take him for a day trip some place? Incorporate a long drive? See if you can get him to be a little more open. Maybe with an auto-reflexive frame..."When I was your age I really couldn't talk to dad" will lead to "He's a fucker" to which you can reply, "He tries, but he hasn't been young in a long time" and you might reach on through that way.

    Your parents sound like real prizes to me, the notion that they're dangling financial support in college on your involvement with a sibling irritated me just reading it...but it sort of implies your parents know there's some issues.

    I have a question...does your DAD use the internet much? If not, maybe you could have a talk with them about how this is not an issue of having a birds/bees talk at 15 like it was even ten years ago.

    If your parents are a void, there's ultimately not much you can do here - the three of you collectively won't have a united front.

  • The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    OP: Are you able to go to your brother's school?

    If you are, see if you can schedule a meeting with the principal (and maybe one or two of your brother's teachers). If they're half decent at all, they'll care about this issue. Are the sports programs he's involved with run through the school?

    With Love and Courage
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    The Ender wrote: »
    OP: Are you able to go to your brother's school?

    If you are, see if you can schedule a meeting with the principal (and maybe one or two of your brother's teachers). If they're half decent at all, they'll care about this issue. Are the sports programs he's involved with run through the school?

    I think the idea is to deal with the problem before it becomes something the principal or teachers find out about, since at that point there may be a requirement for them to get the police involved. Don't forget that while some people may be effective at getting a behaviour to stop their method may adversely affect your brother in a permanent way (i.e. child pornography charges, suspensions, expulsions, all sorts of other things that would be on permanent record.)

    Personally I think it is something that will drop off as he matures or realises that it is not effective. I don't want to condone showing a minor pornography because that can be a dangerous path in and of itself (especially if he starts moving towards younger girls so they have more resemblance to the girls he is accosting) but there is some kind of logic to it in that if he finds an easier way to get nude pictures then he may stop. Again, do not do this because there are problems with it and laws against it but I'm sure he's not too far off from discovering pornography himself and it may resolve this problem. Then again, if nobody has had a good conversation with him about why the girls in pornography are not like the girls in his class then it may just make him think 'well look these girls do it why don't they'

    Ideally you (or your parents) should explain that how he sees girls act in movies is not how they act in real life. In real life offering naked photos to someone has consequences in the social, occupational and educational spheres. Try to ask him how he thinks his friends would react if naked pictures of him were sent around to everyone at school, how his interviewers would react at job interviews if they saw them and how he'd feel if your parents saw them. Explain that this is what girls are worried about too and it treats them as though he doesn't care about them. This gives a real strong answer to the question 'why' when someone refuses. Explain to him that it is child pornography and that both he and the girl could be in serious legal trouble if anyone ever does send him a picture.

    Failing that put some kind of nanny system on the computer, block Facebook/MSN/whatever else (I'm pretty sure most of those sites have an age requirement of 13 anyway, so he probably had to lie about his age to set them up.) Take away his phone (a 12 year old has no need for a cell phone anyway and any parent who says its for 'emergencies' is paranoid and just looking for an excuse to justify giving their child a new toy.)

  • GonmunGonmun He keeps kickin' me in the dickRegistered User regular
    Gonmun wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues beor a cause no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    He refuses to listen. His parents refuse to listen. I'm not exactly sure I see other options here.

    Child protective services perhaps?

    For a nonviolent nuclear family? You'll get the eyeroll of all times

    OP, I don't have a lot of experience with this age group of kid (except for being one), but what I do have leads me to believe you'll have better luck reaching through his thick skull if he's around you by himself for a while. Can you take him for a day trip some place? Incorporate a long drive? See if you can get him to be a little more open. Maybe with an auto-reflexive frame..."When I was your age I really couldn't talk to dad" will lead to "He's a fucker" to which you can reply, "He tries, but he hasn't been young in a long time" and you might reach on through that way.

    Your parents sound like real prizes to me, the notion that they're dangling financial support in college on your involvement with a sibling irritated me just reading it...but it sort of implies your parents know there's some issues.

    I have a question...does your DAD use the internet much? If not, maybe you could have a talk with them about how this is not an issue of having a birds/bees talk at 15 like it was even ten years ago.

    If your parents are a void, there's ultimately not much you can do here - the three of you collectively won't have a united front.

    Pretty sure that even if they didn't do anything themselves they could at least suggest counselling or some sort of a service to help. It certainly beats just letting it continue and having him "learn his lesson" by getting charged.

    desc wrote: »
    ~ * swole patrol flying roundhouse kick top performer recognition: April 2014 * ~
    If you have a sec, check out my podcast: War and Beast Twitter Facebook
  • SiskaSiska Shorty Registered User regular
    Is he allowed to roam the internet freely without supervision? If that is the case he might be getting the wrong idea about how to interact with girls and people in general from chat rooms, porn sites and the like. Because over sharing or even being an attention whoring perv often gets a positive response on the internet, which does not translate well into real life. Plus you know, there is the risk of him becoming a target for a sexual predator himself (if he hasn't already). If it's the case, have a talk with him about it. And also explain how sharing pictures or giving out personal info is a bad idea because everyone on the internet is a potential total liar about everything and anything and being trusting can cause harm.

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2013
    Coming from the younger sister standpoint, I do remember my older sister having some parental level conversations with me when I was a kid. We were only 4 years apart, and I generally didn't take them well on the face of it, but that doesn't mean I didn't listen at all.

    At 12 I had full access to the internet. I viewed porn by downloading jpgs 1 at a time to a folder buried on my PC. There was no facebook, but I was in chat rooms I certainly shouldn't have been, and the only thing that kept me from being some sort of victim was my parents/sister's advice always in the back of my head, keeping me from being excessively dumb.

    Personally I would keep talking to your brother, even if hes being a little shit about it. I've mentally blocked out any "the talks" I got from my parents or sister because gross, I don't want to talk to them about it and I will pretend they never did, but I did listen to them. Sexual education is really important, and there are plenty of books and resources to help guide your brother along if your parents cant step up to the plate and you don't feel like its up to you.

    Making sure your brother gets how much trouble he will be in is important, but also making sure he has the resources for knowledge that is healthy, safe, and sex positive will better prepare him for life. At 12, In my progressive school system, I'd already gotten a pretty heavy sex ED course. If hes lacking in sexual education, just telling him that hes gross and creepy is probably going to do nothing for his self worth and confidence. It also wont help if he doesn't understand why. Put the right resources in his hands that validate his sexuality while also explaining that he has to have respect for the girls around him and not get into deep shit.

    Unfortunately the book I'd recommend is for highschoolers, but it may still be appropriate:
    http://www.amazon.com/X-All-You-Need-Know-Progressive-Sexuality/dp/1600940102

    Not everyone will agree with my advice, but I know that when I was twelve and getting into deep shit on the internet, Sexual education was a huge part of the equation, not how involved my parents were with my internet usage.

    Iruka on
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    Something else you can get him to read: http://jezebel.com/5972788/no-one-is-entitled-to-sex-why-we-should-mock-the-nice-guys-of-okcupid

    His behavior sounds like the start of a life of woman-hating. Not acceptable.

    steam_sig.png
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    I actually think that's a really negative article to give him. Hes not a creep on Okcupid. Hes 12 and he probably really doesn't know anything about sex, not 40 and horribly sexist.

  • Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    in my experience, explaining potential legal repercussions to young kids gets you a pretty major eye roll. kids think they are invincible. i do however agree with talking to him like an adult (yes i'm aware he is not) and telling him how creepy that kind of behavior is. Sure it may work, and you get some pics of some sweet bewbs, but think of all the girls you've alienated in the process

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Esh wrote: »
    V1m wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    To update y'all on this issues, I have brought the fact that nudes is considered child porn to both my brother & my mother, but neither really responded to it. I'm sure that they were surprised by the reality of the issues because no one thought of it that way.
    Also, All other male figures in my brothers life have been cut off because of family feuds. Though, they weren't the best examples for him to be led by.

    If this is where it's at, forget about it. Let him learn his lesson the hard way.

    Mate. A 12 year old kid, remember.

    He refuses to listen. His parents refuse to listen. I'm not exactly sure I see other options here.

    There's always the local shelter. Try to make sure it's no kill though.

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Annnd with that I think we've done all we can here.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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