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Terribly Sad Stories

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Posts

  • MeisterMeister Registered User regular
    Stale wrote: »
    Meister wrote: »
    Man Stale your life is so harsh. How did you end up so awesome? Don't you have like tons of women lining up for you to give them oral sex? And you're paralyzed but your wife is still really hot? Are you just like the funniest motherfucker alive or something?

    I have many many close female friends yes. I am quite renowned for my oral capabilities.

    My wife's body is indeed, smokin.

    I don't find myself all that hilarious, just brutally honest.

    Are you like that blind kid who developed echolocation to overcome his blindness, except with developing godlike oral skills to overcome your nonfunctioning penis? Or were you good before your paralysis?

    brawl friend code: MEIST: 4811-6835-0918
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate Registered User regular
    Look, if you got hit by lightning four times and then died of cancer, I don't think you've got grounds to complain to God.

    Unless you got hit while you had cancer. That'd be salt in the wound.

    originalleague222.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    what is the survival rate for getting struck by lightning

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User
    <HappyDude> ARGH, I think the definition of 'bad timing' happened to me today
    <HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid
    <HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa
    <HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time....
    <HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere
    <HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in
    <HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge cock.
    That's really fucking sad.

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    it's the damndest thing

    we figure that God couldn't kill him with lightning, so he had to resort to cancer

    tricky bastard

    xutFvZ4.gif
  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    FreddyD wrote: »
    <HappyDude> ARGH, I think the definition of 'bad timing' happened to me today
    <HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid
    <HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa
    <HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time....
    <HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere
    <HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in
    <HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge cock.
    That's really fucking sad.

    :lol:

    gameintownk.png
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    On September 28, 1983, Roy Sullivan died at age 71, of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, reportedly distraught over an unrequited love.

    okay so what is with people who are struck by lightning lots of times and them not dying from being struck by lightning

    xutFvZ4.gif
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Meister wrote: »
    Stale wrote: »
    Meister wrote: »
    Man Stale your life is so harsh. How did you end up so awesome? Don't you have like tons of women lining up for you to give them oral sex? And you're paralyzed but your wife is still really hot? Are you just like the funniest motherfucker alive or something?

    I have many many close female friends yes. I am quite renowned for my oral capabilities.

    My wife's body is indeed, smokin.

    I don't find myself all that hilarious, just brutally honest.

    Are you like that blind kid who developed echolocation to overcome his blindness, except with developing godlike oral skills to overcome your nonfunctioning penis? Or were you good before your paralysis?

    I was still cock-strong until about early 2004. My physical therapist then had me join a support group for paras and quads about sexual life after paralysis. It's taught by both male and female instructors on how best to perform working with your limitations. Actually quite fun and informative.

    Also, I'm not paralyized. I just have muscle disfunction. I can walk with cripple-sticks, or even a cane over short distances. I use the chair on exceptionally bad days, or when I'll be moving long distances. I've spent the past year in rehab and training to be able to walk down the beach on my honeymoon. So after 4 years of effort, I can finally take Summer on the honeymoon I couldn't take her on when we got married.

  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    something tells me if stale ever gets struck by lightning it's going to look like this

    687px-Lightning_21_Feb_2007.jpg

    16kakxt.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    Stale, I'm going to fly to the US just to hug you.

    You have to pay for the tickets.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User
    FreddyD wrote: »
    <HappyDude> ARGH, I think the definition of 'bad timing' happened to me today
    <HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid
    <HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa
    <HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time....
    <HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere
    <HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in
    <HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge cock.
    That's really fucking sad.

    Ahahahahaha.



    Heart-rending stuff.

    thrownroomsigss2.png
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    who the fuck doesn't lock their door GOD

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    Zephyr wrote: »
    something tells me if stale ever gets struck by lightning it's going to look like this

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=kLJ6oqToKrc

  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    man that reminds me of a story...

    ...this story i shall not share

    gameintownk.png
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS
    Stale's the first dude to get a prosthetic body when the world goes all Ghost in the Shell-like

    lost_sig2.png
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    PotU wrote: »
    Stale, I'm going to fly to the US just to hug you.

    You have to pay for the tickets.

    no can do

    I just paid for THIS PIMP ASS SHIT

  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    t stale
    dayum

    and also i wanted to share something with you guys

    well

    i have a penis
    a penis

    gameintownk.png
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    thanks for sharing cunty

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    Well, I personally didn't know until now.

    2mong9u.jpg
  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    always welcome

    gameintownk.png
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    that website reminds me of that episode of the office

    with michael and jan

    and the picture

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    my name is sometimes misleading

    gameintownk.png
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    They pick us up at the airport in a Rolls-Royce.

    In-room butler.

    24-hour room service.


    I want filet-mignon at 4am? It's there.

    rock-star shit allupins.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus The machine is broken. The universe is broken.Registered User regular
    Stale wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Stale, I'm going to fly to the US just to hug you.

    You have to pay for the tickets.

    no can do

    I just paid for THIS PIMP ASS SHIT

    Haha, that is the place that Michael Scott went to on the Office.

    That place sounds pretty awesome.

  • SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    Stale wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Stale, I'm going to fly to the US just to hug you.

    You have to pay for the tickets.

    no can do

    I just paid for THIS PIMP ASS SHIT

    Take me with you.

    twispandcatsbysigsmall.jpg
  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    fuck stale do you know how many kinds of jealous i am

    well i don't even know, but it is a high number

    gameintownk.png
  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    stale wanna be my sugar daddy

    except without the love

    16kakxt.jpg
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    when Stale dies it will be as if a million debt collectors cried out in agony...and were silenced

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Stale wrote: »
    PotU wrote: »
    Stale, I'm going to fly to the US just to hug you.

    You have to pay for the tickets.

    no can do

    I just paid for THIS PIMP ASS SHIT

    Haha, that is the place that Michael Scott went to on the Office.

    That place sounds pretty awesome.

    I have never watched the office.

    But this place is awesome.

    and the best part? The very best fucking part?


    no children allowed

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    dudeokay wrote: »
    when Stale dies it will be as if a million debt collectors cried out in agony...and were silenced

    not for this

    paid in cash up front

    you know how I roll


    all around town in a big-body benz with two dollars in gas

    shit... wut wut

  • ZephyrZephyr Registered User
    what

    16kakxt.jpg
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    That is so sad.

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • CuntyCunty Registered User
    cash?

    you are a mad man

    gameintownk.png
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    nice

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Graves wrote: »
    That is so sad.

    I know right?

    I was trying to remember the whole line but couldn't.



    very white

  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    Stale is hood rich

    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User
    bling and so on and so forth

    All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate Registered User regular
    Stale isn't hood rich. I am pretty sure he has a job.

    originalleague222.jpg
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