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Let's Play Warhammer 40k DoW: Dark Crusade::: KRONUS TOTAL WAR BABY!

StormwatcherStormwatcher Uee Citizen Record #2051Über Star CitizenRegistered User regular
edited September 2007 in Games and Technology
So you wanna know all about the Dark Crusade, but you're too lazy or too cheap to actually play the god damned game?

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Fret not! For I, Storm the Watcher am gonna play it for ya. Again. That's how awesome this game is.

I'm not DoW or DC expert, but I know a few things. Oh, I'm gonna let you guys make a few decisions along the playthrough.

First one: I need a name for the Commander guy.

Now, Onward with the LP:

THE GAEM!

DoW: Dark Crusade is the latest expansion for the award winning... Aw, crap, screw the back-of-the-box blurb.

DC is a great RTS from Relic, the guys who made Homeworld before and Company of Heroes later. So they're guys who KNOW how to make the best RTS.

DC, like DoW and CoH, focus on the tactical squad level of war, and resources are gathered by capturing Strategical points and making Power Buildings. No peons, mines or harvesters. Depending on the race you're playing, you might even depend on your fontline soldiers to establish and mantain the supply line. It's really very tactical.

The major difference from vanilla DoW to DC, aside from the two new races (Tau and Necron), is that it offers a new campaign mode very similar to Risk or Rise of Nations, a big world map with territories you can conquer in whatever order you want. The strategical map play takes place in turns where you can move OR attack and/or buy more troops for your territories. You have ONE mobile army, led by your commander, but he doesn't need to be there on defense missions. The SEVEN races fight a bloody war to conquer the entire planet of Kronus. Who will win??????!!!!

Here's the map:
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Each conquered territory offers some kind of benefit. The "normal" territories unlocks a new elite troop squad to your Honor Guard roster. The honor guard is important because whenever you attack a new territory, you already start with them on the mission map, so it's a free, instantaneous army. That can help you rush on of the enemy bases in some territories, but more about this later.

The special territories give you an extra perk or power, like Fury (attack twice per turn), Spaceport (attack almost any territory FROM any territory), so on.

And then there are the home bases for each faction. The home base combat takes happens through a scripted mission, much like regular Campaign missions in DoW and Winter Assault. Regular territories play like computer skimishes, and special territories have specific win-conditions. The home base missions are not REALLY hard, but they're really, really long.

But enough talking.

THE CONTESTANTS!

The original 4 races from DoW

Imperial Space Marines

Marine Intro of awesomeness. 200k people died in the making of it. Just because.
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Mostly every race in this game is a bunch of fucking fanatics, but I'd say that these super genetic enhanced cyborgized warriors take the Zeallot of the Year prize in the Fundamentalist Illustrated Magazine. They're like an order of monks that were custom made to slaughter shit like there's no tomorrow, and carry forward the will of the Immortal Emperor. They usually wipe entire planets just because someone made a joke about the big bloke. And they're supposed to be the GOOD GUYS.

Marine Bad Motherfucker Commander
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Game-wise, the Space Marines are the ultimate generalists. The have the most "standard" game flow, and their basic infantry squad, the vanilla space marines, can kick the hell out off mostly anything. Vehicles, infantry, buildings, be it in melee or long range, they can kill it all. Space Marines don't rely much on vehicles, although they have a few remarkable ones, like the whirlwind and the walkers. I really like playing them.

Marine Death-dealing Machines
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Chaos Marines

Chaos Intro. Oooo, scary.
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These guys are Space marines that were corrupted by the demonic forces of Chaos during the Horus Heresy. They look like, guess what, demonic space marines. They're VERY EVIL! I don't know much about how they play, but they have more specialized units.

Chaos Commander needs to see a dentist, like, right now
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Chaos Units. Very Chaotic, don't you think?
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Orkz

Ork WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
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The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped english lower-class cockney football fans, and not like jamaicans at all, no sir, and shout a lot. They're usually stronger at melee than ranged, and can field ridiculous numbers of troops. The big difference is that they need to build WAAAAGH towers and earn WAAAGH points in order to build more guyz, on top of earning requisition points and power. They're pretty funny to play with. Especially when they chant "orkz orkz orkz orkz".

Ork 'Ead'Unter WARBOSS
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Ork Unitz (sorry)
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Eldar

Eldar Intro zzzzzzzzzzzzz
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The eldar are an Elf rip off. The very old race, humankind was still pooping their diapers when the Eldar were colonizing the galaxy (and fucking it up too, by creating the Chaos Gods because all the eldars were fornicating drug addicts). They have extremely specialized troops, each kind of squad or vehicle is good at ONE thing and completely suck at anything else. They can teleport around and look really weird, sorry, original. They have lots of vehicles. They're supposed to be good guys too, but meh, I find them to be a boring lot. The Eldar do have some very cool units, anyway.

Eldar Commander (wooo hot)
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Eldar Units. So sleek.
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The NEW race from Winter Assault

Imperial Guard

IG Intro. They're all gonna die, even if they win.
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While the Space Marines are the nearly immortal, elite, dedicated warrior monks of the Empire, the IG is composed of individually weak and cowardly conscripts. The basic squads suck at melee but have decent guns a LOTS of soldiers. They also have kickass vehicles, including the biggest motherfuking tank in the game. The IG have some cool squad upgrades and a few strong heavy infantry types. They can be pretty annoying as enemies in skirmish game.

IG Commander. Thinks he's Wolverine.
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IG cannon fodder. I mean, troops. Meh, who am I fooling.
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Challengers approaching!

Tau

Pew pew pew Intro. Erm, PEW PEW PEW PEW
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The Tau are the Mecha Anime "inspired" communist aliens. They're the closest you can get to a really GOOD side. They have awesome troops with awesome suits and really cool vehicles. The strange thing about the Tau is that they're the only race who can't fucking build turrets. They have just the Strategic Point Listening Posts and their units as a defense force. I'm going to play with them, because they're fun to play.

The actual Tau guys can't really fight melee at all, but they have lots of friends, like the Vespid, who're the insectal flying DEATH, and the Kroot, who're tribal crazy killer hippies. They jump like crazy, and beat people up with huge Sand People 18th Century rifles. The Tau Commander has ZERO melee damage, but rains deathly lazoers over his poor enemies.

Neon Genesis Commander O'Kais (he's Irish!)
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Gundam troops. oops.
tauwalji3.jpg


Necrons

Necron Intro. Introducing you to the damned darkness.
darkcrusade200708301225ar2.png

The Necros are the coolest and weirdest race in the game. They're a bunch of egyptian-inspired psycho skeleton shaped robots who just wanna wipe all life from the galaxy. They actually managed to do it once, and have been sleeping underground since them. The sad thing for us, the living, is that they've awoken. And they wanna do it again. They might well succeed.


Necron Commander. He just wanna bring you peace. The peace of eternal slumber. That's DEATH, stupid.
darkcrusade200708301226aj4.png

The Necron are also weird gameplay-wise. They don't use the precious Req. Points for much. Instead, they rely solely on Power Generators... They do need to build Listening Posts on captured RPs, in order to reach 100% build speed. At first, they build shit veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly, but after capping and LPing 5 points, they get back to full speed. Other weird things include: Their soldiers CANNOT cap points, only their worker units can. So you actually have to build lots of them cute beetles. Oh, their infantry squads get NO weapon upgrades, the fallen soldiers can resurrect, all units are built at the HQ building which is also their Über-unit (and it kicks a LOT of ass), they have units who collect dead necrons and spawn new squads from their innards.... They're all around fucking awesome.

Necron army. They're like MEANER cousins to the T-800 Terminator.
necronwallip3.jpg


This is it for the first post, but I already have more than enough stuff for two more updates. Than that OTHER GUY will take over for a bit. A tiny itty bitty bit.

I promise more funny and more game info. Now you peeps need to help me chose the Commander's name, and a name for the first honor guard unit. NOW.

BTW, I'm sorry that the army pics are small, I couldn't find a bigger version. I'd be thankful to anyone who did find them.

I can make the game pics bigger too, what do you guys think?
Spoiler:

Stormwatcher on
Steam: Stormwatcher | XBL: Stormwatcher 21 | PSN: Stormwatcher33 | Gamecenter: Stormwatcher33 | 3DS: 0130-2805-2850
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Posts

  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Now this is what I'm talking about!

    I already own this game but your post still makes me want to go buy it on the way home.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • 4rch3nemy4rch3nemy Registered User
    edited August 2007
    You're making my wallet cry. Good OP.
    Too bad I'm too freaking broke for this, Metroid Prime 3, and others. :<

  • jonxpjonxp [E] Alumnus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hey! It's a game with a lot of pictures!


    I have now fulfilled my obligation to look at your post.

    Damn you for making me want to buy things.

    Every time you write parallel fifths, Bach kills a kitten.
    3DS Friend Code: 2707-1614-5576
    PAX Prime 2014 Buttoneering!
  • WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I will be watching this thread with interest. I'm especially curious as to how you're going to make what are essentially a bunch of skirmish maps look fascinating.

    Pity you're playing the Tau, though. I prefer Eldar, myself, though I don't think I'm a good enough player to really be able to pull off the 'quick and stealthy' style. :P

  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    4rch3nemy wrote: »
    You're making my wallet cry. Good OP.
    Too bad I'm too freaking broke for this, Metroid Prime 3, and others. :<

    This game is mad cheap nowadays. You can buy the Platinum whatever for $30. It includes all three releases. Which is exactly how many I had when I saw how cheap it is now.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Zetetic ElenchZetetic Elench Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    nemosig.png
  • 4rch3nemy4rch3nemy Registered User
    edited August 2007
    If this thread picks up STEAM (see what I did tharrr?) I might just use my credit card and download it for later tonight.

    Damn you to hell Krentz and Stormwatcher. Damn you.

    A few questions though: Will I get absolutely effing stomped by the vets or is the learning curve kind of gentle enough that I won't want to put my fist through my monitor after my 100th loss in a row? How many games are going on at any one time? Are there all sorts of newbs like me still playing, or just the dedicated pros?

  • StormwatcherStormwatcher Uee Citizen Record #2051 Über Star CitizenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    Well, I didn't know exactly what stereotype they use. What should I say, then? :)

    Steam: Stormwatcher | XBL: Stormwatcher 21 | PSN: Stormwatcher33 | Gamecenter: Stormwatcher33 | 3DS: 0130-2805-2850
    steam_sig.png
  • KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    He must be referring to when they say "Green is the best." >.>
    4rch3nemy wrote: »
    A few questions though: Will I get absolutely effing stomped by the vets or is the learning curve kind of gentle enough that I won't want to put my fist through my monitor after my 100th loss in a row? How many games are going on at any one time? Are there all sorts of newbs like me still playing, or just the dedicated pros?

    You probably will get stomped until you stop trying to play it like starcraft. If you sit back and turtle your enemy WILL steal your strategic points (they give you resources over time) and generally harass you and keep you from doing anything. You'll start to have fun when you just start sending your troops off to fight right in the beginning and realize that you will actually be fighting the whole match.

    There are lots of 2v2 NOOBS ONLY games up. Whether you want to trust those or not is up to you. Getting into a match with a parter is a good idea because you can watch what he does and he can cover for you. He might cuss you out for being a noob but we've all been there.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ErgandarErgandar Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    You will enjoy yourself, and manage decently, yet inevitably you would be annihilated by vets.

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  • thorpethorpe Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    Well, I didn't know exactly what stereotype they use. What should I say, then? :)

    They're based off of British soccer hooligans.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Krentz wrote: »
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    He must be referring to when they say "Green is the best." >.>

    ICEBURN



    But seriously, Orks are cockney.

    scarab you have mental problems
  • WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Awesome! Tau! My favourite. DRONE SPAM.

    That said...
    The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped jamaicans and shout a lot.

    Jamaicans? Are you serious?

    Well, I didn't know exactly what stereotype they use. What should I say, then? :)
    They always struck me as lower-class Brits. Or, for that matter, Discworld trolls when they've come down the mountain.

    I could be wrong though.

    Oh, and, why not just stick with Shass'o Kais as the name for your commander?

  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Shasta Case?

    shastalogos.jpg

    Just need an all rush mix tape.

    scarab you have mental problems
  • Zetetic ElenchZetetic Elench Registered User
    edited August 2007
    Yeah, they're based on cockney football hooligans. Been that way since the beginning, really.

    nemosig.png
  • One Thousand DicksOne Thousand Dicks :D! Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I bought the Dawn of War platinum edition a while back, and while I planned to play it online, I've been hesitant to do so because I know I'll get owned.

    Edit: Name the commander Mc'Lovin

  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    So, we having a joint campaign or what?


    It would be especially hilarious if we did a joint campaign with the Space Marines. Because then he'd be wanted by the Inquisitors for being Chaos-tainted.

    Split personality and all.



    EDIT: Name should remain the same because of cinematic confusion.

    Honor guard unit's name should be "Titties".


    Just because.

    UA1OmVB.png
  • DondumsDondums Registered User
    edited August 2007
    I already own this.
    I had to format my HDD a few weeks back though and have yet to reinstall.
    PERHAPS?

    internet
  • CarnarvonCarnarvon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Nice OP. I love this game, but haven't played in forever. Who wants to try to kill each other online?

  • StormwatcherStormwatcher Uee Citizen Record #2051 Über Star CitizenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    MechMantis wrote: »
    So, we having a joint campaign or what?


    It would be especially hilarious if we did a joint campaign with the Space Marines. Because then he'd be wanted by the Inquisitors for being Chaos-tainted.

    Split personality and all.



    EDIT: Name should remain the same because of cinematic confusion.

    Honor guard unit's name should be "Titties".


    Just because.


    I'll call him Paddy O'Kais, then. A compromise.

    And I'll send you the save soon, just wanna maek the second post, before.

    Steam: Stormwatcher | XBL: Stormwatcher 21 | PSN: Stormwatcher33 | Gamecenter: Stormwatcher33 | 3DS: 0130-2805-2850
    steam_sig.png
  • warder808warder808 Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Me and 2 friends have been playing this lately. One of them just recently got Dark Crusade. Maybe I can wrangle them all together.

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  • A-PuckA-Puck Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    This is and the Game On thread convinces me that this must be installed. Perhaps Sunday during the day I shall have time. No, I will make time, because the Emperor commands you to die!

    Soon... soon I will install you, my precious.
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    posting about goomba before goomba can

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • StormwatcherStormwatcher Uee Citizen Record #2051 Über Star CitizenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Yeah, they're based on cockney football hooligans. Been that way since the beginning, really.

    *snickers*, I fixed that part. :D

    Steam: Stormwatcher | XBL: Stormwatcher 21 | PSN: Stormwatcher33 | Gamecenter: Stormwatcher33 | 3DS: 0130-2805-2850
    steam_sig.png
  • SilpheedSilpheed Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I'll be following this LP closely since I love DC but never took the time to play Tau since I'm an IG lover at heart. Although Tau isn't exactly what I'd call good guys, considering that their invitation to the "Greater Good" is usually made by gunpoint.

  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Compared to the Space Marines, the other "good guys", who slaughter everything and anything? Without asking questions?


    I think the Tau are a little more on the "good" side.



    And it's page 2! UPDATE!

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  • StormwatcherStormwatcher Uee Citizen Record #2051 Über Star CitizenRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Silpheed wrote: »
    I'll be following this LP closely since I love DC but never took the time to play Tau since I'm an IG lover at heart. Although Tau isn't exactly what I'd call good guys, considering that their invitation to the "Greater Good" is usually made by gunpoint.

    Well, that's what I meant.
    I mean, the IG dudes don't really care, the Eldar are a bunch of losers and has-beens who made the chaos gods by boozing and fucking around, and the Space Marines are like Torquemada with lasers and powerswords...

    The Tau are a bunch of angels in comparison :)

    Anyway, new post tomorrow.

    Oh, BTW, anyone knows where I can make a batch upload of the pics? Imaageshack is killing me.

    Steam: Stormwatcher | XBL: Stormwatcher 21 | PSN: Stormwatcher33 | Gamecenter: Stormwatcher33 | 3DS: 0130-2805-2850
    steam_sig.png
  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I'm up for this, if any noob would like to join me for some compstomp action.

    I'm not a noob myself, but I'm incredibly rusty. Just remade PADC on Hamachi, usual password.

  • ToyDToyD Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Oh dear. I may have to hop in on this action. Recently renewed interest in BF 2142 and a revisit to Homeworld may suffer. Oh dear LORD.

    Orks is da biggest and da strongest!

    Love me the green machine.

    WAAAGH!

    steam_sig.png
  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    You know what? I'd almost consider the Necrons the good guys of 40k...

    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    You know what? I'd almost consider the Necrons the good guys of 40k...

    that'd be because you're retarded and apparently don't understand their back story or the fact that the entire 40k universe is morally ambiguous

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Newsflash: There are no "good" guys in 40k.

    The only thing that even comes remotely close are 'nids, and that's only because they are insects with no concept of morality.

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • thorpethorpe Registered User
    edited September 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Newsflash: There are no "good" guys in 40k.

    The only thing that even comes remotely close are 'nids, and that's only because they are insects with no concept of morality.

    Newflash: Jesus fuck calm the hell down.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    nerdrage

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    dang that was pretty angry

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • claxtonclaxton ClubPA
    edited September 2007
    Ya see us Orkz neva lose,
    If we'r dead, we'r dead so nobody cares,
    If'n we win we'v won, so's only we cares
    If'n we run away we always come back later
    so Orkz neva lose ya see.

    Its not enough to win. You want nothing left of your enemy but a skull nailed to a fence post so everybody understands the cost of crossing you. -Durga
  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    You know what? I'd almost consider the Necrons the good guys of 40k...

    that'd be because you're retarded and apparently don't understand their back story or the fact that the entire 40k universe is morally ambiguous

    No, the reason I say it was besides being a joke, killing off all the rest of those races would be a generally good thing for the universe, as they are all a bunch of fanatic psychos.

    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • warder808warder808 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Is there a game now? How do i get on PA Hamachi again, I forget. I do know the password though.

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  • LibrarianThorneLibrarianThorne Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Anyone? Hamachi's still up...

  • warder808warder808 Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Im up for a game but you stopped typing to me. Still up for one?

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