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Fucking with your coworkers

CalliusCallius Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Social Entropy++
So, last night a coworker of mine didn't lock his computer or log off when he went home. And we all know what that means... time to fuck with him!

I screen shotted his desktop, hid his task bar, hid all of his icons, put the screen shot as the wallpaper and reversed his two mouse buttons. Lo and behold, he couldn't do shit.

Well, I got in to work this morning and he was fucking livid, all bein' aggressive and saying that if I did it again he'd beat me. Shit like that. Turns out he couldn't figure out a way to fix it so he completely reformatted his computer.


yes... he reformatted his computer instead of spending five minutes to "fix" it.

He is supposed to be tech support.


Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

and go.

Callius on
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Posts

  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    One time, I banged Pam Beasley

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Lord DaveLord Dave Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    Lord Dave wrote: »
    One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

    I put various items from my one coworker's desk in Jello.

    Then when I changed offices, I started sending him faxes as himself from the future.

    One time I moved my coworker's desk into the bathroom.

    It didn't seem to bother him that much, though. Maybe he's a pervert.

    Denny's is for winners.
    mkc.pngmkc.pngmkc.pngmontykevin.png
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

    Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

    FOR MONTHS.


    To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



    This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.

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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I met my wife to be at work so I fuck my coworker all the time.

  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I wrote JESSICA SHERMAN WAS HERE SLUTS inside the elevator with a Sharpie

    guess what it worked

  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

    Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

    FOR MONTHS.


    To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



    This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.
    Stale, you're just fucking evil sometimes.

    Let's make love.

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  • LarlarLarlar Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

    So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

    He bought me donuts for that one.

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  • Lord DaveLord Dave Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I started calling my coworker Big Tuna because he ate a tuna sandwich on his first day, and now I'm really hungry and wish I had a tuna sandwich.

    Denny's is for winners.
    mkc.pngmkc.pngmkc.pngmontykevin.png
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

    Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I fingerbanged an admin assistant in the elevator once.

  • AslanAslan Registered User
    edited September 2007
    I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

    Captain_Renault.gif I'm shocked...shocked, to find faggotry in this thread.
  • LarlarLarlar Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Aslan wrote: »
    I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

    That's awesome.

    iwantanswers3.png
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

    So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

    He bought me donuts for that one.

    That's brilliant.

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I've only had sex at the workplace with my girlfriend after hours so it really doesn't count.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    the trick is to do that whole screenshot and hiding icons thing, but do it on 2 neighboring monitors
    place each wallpaper on the opposite computer, and switch the cables

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • snapsnap Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    snap wrote: »
    i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

    haha

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    harsh

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  • RageRage Registered User
    edited September 2007
    - Officemate went on vacation for two weeks, so I brought in a Costco-sized roll of plastic wrap. Even our director was in his cube, wrapping everything that wasn't attached to his desk. Once that job was completed, we walled in and roofed the cube with the remaining plastic wrap, afterwhich I cut a rectangular window out, taped a cardboard "door" labeled "Recycling".

    For the next two weeks, our entire building of 200+ devs, QA and tech support staff filled Josh's cube up with empty pop cans and cardboard. His cube never smelled quite right ever again after that.


    - My first gig at MS years ago. One of the PMs went on maternity leave for a month after his daughter was born. Our old building had a massive freight elevator around the back side of the regular elevator area, and one of the other managers decided it would make an absolutely perfect office for Terry, since Terry was an incredible dick about people fucking with his stuff.

    So, we had Facilities close down the elevator for 2 days - took reference photos of Terry's office, and 10 of us proceeded to systematically take apart and re-build his entire office IN the freight elevator; desk, computers, haggard-ass futon couch thing...everything was removed and relocated into his new "office" and our boss's boss had MSIT change his office location in the GAL to "B25-Freight01" to make it official.

    He was actually a really good sport about it when he came back, and even worked out of the elevator for a couple of days to keep the joke rolling.

  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • LarlarLarlar Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

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  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

    Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.
    It's a known fact that leaving one's computer unlocked is an open invite.

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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

    Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

    Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

    It's my mom that's messing with them for not just paying for all my stuff.

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

    Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


    "It follows me..... it follows me."


    Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

    easysig2.jpg
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    harsh

    yeah well

    I was hungry and had six hours before I got off

    I just got more and more pissed

    plus she was fat and seemed to really relish her food

    so it was extra infuriating

    and she used to sing radio edits of shit songs; that is, she would sing the songs loudly and go "hmm" over any swears

  • DajianDajian Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Whenever someone does not lock thier system at my work we "pony" them.

    We compose an email to the entire office saying how much they love ponies and usually include several "my little pony" images then send it from thier outlook.

  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Hunter wrote: »
    I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

    Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

    I read that as microphones first, and I was trying to figure out what kind of microphone has an eye piece.

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    I work at a television station. For a week me and a buddy saved every script we could get our hands on. When we figured we had enough, we nabbed a guys a guys car keys and threw all the paper inside. It filled his entire Chevy Blazer up to the steering wheel.

    Also, when it snows, we peons in Production sometimes have to go clear the parking lot so the news vans can get out. we usually just pick some one's car and pile all the snow up on it.

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • AslanAslan Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Skull Man wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

    she got paid more for a week, then fired

    that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

    harsh

    yeah well

    I was hungry and had six hours before I got off

    I just got more and more pissed

    plus she was fat and seemed to really relish her food

    so it was extra infuriating

    and she used to sing radio edits of shit songs; that is, she would sing the songs loudly and go "hmm" over any swears

    Is her name Jean Teasedale and does she write for the Onion?

    Captain_Renault.gif I'm shocked...shocked, to find faggotry in this thread.
  • LarlarLarlar Super Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2007
    A coworker left his computer unlocked once and I changed around all the dates and times so I could send him an e-mail that looked like it was from himself from the future (I also had to delete the trail it left, like in the "sent messages" folder, etc.), warning him not to eat his lunch. He asked me and a few other people about it and I just played dumb.

    He actually threw out the lunch he brought and bought a new one at the caf that day.

    iwantanswers3.png
  • redimpulseredimpulse Registered User
    edited September 2007
    I've:

    Stuck card stock in between the lever and the button for raising/lowering the seat height. In all the chairs in the office. That's simple and produces a decent laugh.
    Reversed the receiver/microphone part in the phones.
    Scotch taped the phones so it's incredibly hard to hear and/or be heard.
    Pulled the one in the OP with the background stuff.
    Filled an entire cube with packing peanuts.
    Swapped a QWERTY keyboard with a Dvorak but switched the keys around to resemble QWERTY

    Probably other things too

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  • RageRage Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Oh, for those that love to leave their workstations unlocked: CTRL+ALT+ Down arrow will flip their screen upside down (works for WinXP Home & Pro)

    always a quick and dirty office warfare tactic.


    Also: Play "Hide the Sushi" with your most hated officemate. The betting pools can reach incredible proportions.

  • DajianDajian Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    We also hooked up a usb hub to one guys system after he left for the day and added an extra keyboard and mouse to his system.

    The guy sitting across from him was able to randomly caps lock, sticky key, and right click while he was in the middle of coding. The hub stayed attached for 4 months all the while the guy got more and more convenced his system was screwed.

    We tried to keep it subtle so we could drag it out but we were moving desks soon so we just started randomly locking his computer or doing [windows key + R] opening notepad and typing wierd messages to him.

    He was pissed for about 5 minutes then laughed his ass off.

  • LardalishLardalish Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Stale wrote: »
    The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

    Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


    "It follows me..... it follows me."


    Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

    God damnit, you glorious bastard.

    I want to be this awesome.

  • AretèAretè infiltrating neo zeed compoundRegistered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Pstools.

    Oh my god the fun with Pstools.

    Bluescreen/Lock/Reboot/ is just the tip of the iceberg.

    Infact...think I'll fuck with someone right now.

    pasig.jpg
    Steam | Fitocracy | XBL|PSN|WiiU|ninjafrizz 3DS FC - 5472-7018-3542
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    Our boss went out of town visiting a sister station one time. We came in with 2x4s, drywall and paint. In one night we made his office into a broom closet. because he was gone so long, the cleaning people actually started using it as a place to store all of their shit!!

    He was pissed when he got back

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2007
    when I volunteered at the library I came in during this one asshole's shift and reshelved the encyclopedias to spell FUCK MR WITHOS

    who was of course our boss

    fired

  • redimpulseredimpulse Registered User
    edited September 2007
    Dajian wrote: »
    We also hooked up a usb hub to one guys system after he left for the day and added an extra keyboard and mouse to his system.

    The guy sitting across from him was able to randomly caps lock, sticky key, and right click while he was in the middle of coding. The hub stayed attached for 4 months all the while the guy got more and more convenced his system was screwed.

    We tried to keep it subtle so we could drag it out but we were moving desks soon so we just started randomly locking his computer or doing [windows key + R] opening notepad and typing wierd messages to him.

    He was pissed for about 5 minutes then laughed his ass off.

    This is good!

    Also we would send random shutdown commands to each others computers. Great fun until you figure out who's doing it.

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