I am wondering if we should take our kids to a therapist or something for like 1 session? Like, I know what they are doing is p normal for their age but it would still be good to see if there was a more optimal way to approach our parenting or get some new strategies or something. idk.
If there is dysfunction in the household, a family therapist may not be a bad idea.
I would avoid thinking that "the kids may need to see someone" in this context - think more like you said in the last sentence about seeking a better approach towards parenting and be open to them maybe saying the problem isn't 100% the kids.
There is value in getting outside opinions and observations on the family dynamic, if you are open to hearing things you may not like and are willing to work at it.
There's not really dysfunction, and like I said previously I know what they are doing is fairly normal so it would be more for us to improve as parents. I just don't know much about whether such a consult would be beneficial or if they only want to see you if there's a real issue going on.
several of you asked what the specific issues were so I added them here. thanks everyone for your thoughts so far!
minishark #1 is generally OK but occasionally struggles with sharing. apparently in preschool he has additional issues that don't really manifest at home (acting out by intentionally overturning toy bins, trying to push a kid out of his chair, etc.).
minishark #2 has issues with hitting and also during meal time he can be really stubborn about exactly how he wants his food fed to him and if we don't understand or cooperate he melts down quickly. we are currently correcting the hitting with immediate time outs and are trying to work on communication (he is 21 months) to alleviate some of his frustrations but when the melt downs happen we usually recourse to time outs until he calms down.
Have you tried sign language to help with communication? We used it with our youngest and it really really helped.
Well, to address the things with mini-shark #1 I would suggest keep on course with regards to trying to reinforce how it is good to share. Maybe try and do something with the little one where he the opportunity presents itself. Maybe colouring or drawing and sharing crayons and really reinforcing the whole politeness of sharing and such. That's one thing that comes to mind for me with that anyway.
As for minishark #2 we had similar issues with my son when he was young, especially when it came to food. Time outs are a definite good thing with regards to hitting. Nip that one in the bud asap and impress upon them that hitting is a bad thing and shouldn't be done. Though I will make an observation. Mini-Shark #2 is coming up on 2 years old and as cliché as it sounds, there is a reason they call it the "terrible two's". Sometimes kids don't have a problem but from what I understand this is a point where they are starting to become more inquisitive and observing and looking for reactions. I'd definitely look into maybe checking into parental help sites/books with relation to that age as I think it would really address some of that for you. As well, if you have an opportunity maybe ask a therapist about it. Don't necessarily make it an appointment for the little one to see them but maybe bring up the issue and see if they have some suggestions.
Main key for all this is to try and do as much positive reinforcement as you can. Accentuate the good while trying to still dealing with the bad stuff appropriately.
Yeah, the thing that sucks with #1 is most of the behavior happens when we are not around. I had a talk with him today about how just because Mom and Dad aren't there doesn't mean it is OK to stop sharing or be mean to other kids. I dunno. He has a stress ball at home that he likes to squeeze when he gets upset so we are going to let him bring it to preschool and see if that helps. We will definitely keep working on it at home though!
Re: #2 yeah I get that it's a normal phase, we just never had to really deal with it with #1 and I want to make sure we are doing everything we can to work through it. I will try and look into some websites/books, I'm just nervous about credibility on the internet, yknow?
Thanks for the advice!
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
why would you have to make friends
surely they are already made you just have to find them
second soy is 2.5 and we def still struggle with hitting/biting occasionally
from what I understand this is fairly typical because kids dont have the tools to a) express themselves wthe way theyd like and b) theyre. still learning to deal with emotions
so absolutely curb the behavior with an immediate time out if they hit, and if they seem to be getting frustrated try to help them either talk about it or redirect them to something else
but also dont feel like youre raising a little sociopath
but if you are make sure its the good kind like the supernatural brothers or sherlock holmes
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
desc I spoke with Shivahn and she is 100% behind you roleplaying a teenage Monsterfart
prepare your poetry journal
I dunno if it's because i never watched Buffy or what but monster hearts seems fundamentally hard to imagine playing
Oof
Monsterhearts is less Buffy (that'd be Monster of the Week) and more, uh, Twilight? Jennifer's Body? There's definitely some Buffy elements in there but I think the main idea is that you're all just gross teenagers who are manifesting their teen issues through the lens of being shitlord monsters who turn into werewolves and seals and shit
The alternative is to play the Dark Ages playtest, as matriarchal horse-lords
as Shivahn put it, "SEX RIDERS OF SOUTHERN FRANCE"
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Sir Landsharkresting shark faceRegistered Userregular
second soy is 2.5 and we def still struggle with hitting/biting occasionally
from what I understand this is fairly typical because kids dont have the tools to a) express themselves wthe way theyd like and b) theyre. still learning to deal with emotions
so absolutely curb the behavior with an immediate time out if they hit, and if they seem to be getting frustrated try to help them either talk about it or redirect them to something else
but also dont feel like youre raising a little sociopath
NO FUCK YOU YOU DIDN'T @ ME ON THE NEW MOBA GAME
YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT?
A SHARK NEVER FORGETS
also ps thanks for the advice
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
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VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
chu mention how convenient it would be to have each other's numbers for work related reasons
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
yes it's p normal to be like
hey you wanna grab drinks/other social activity after work?
ok cool lemme get your number
at least that's how ive done it with my work mates
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
chu mention how convenient it would be to have each other's numbers for work related reasons
then sneak in the ol 'hey' text.
SINGLE Y CHU! THIS IS KEY!
heyyyyy
*block contact*
Allegedly a voice of reason.
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ThomamelasOnly one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered Userregular
I have a date Friday. So I ordered some condoms and they arrived. Felt weird buying them because it's a first date so that seems a little presumptuous but at the same time, it would be horrifying to not be prepared.
+7
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
this
like, asking for numbers without a reason is weird
just like, try and find something they are doing or put something together and invite people
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
Eddy this kind of thinking is why we had that rape culture seminar
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VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
I have a married friend, one of few female friends (the rest are pretty much her friends or my friends girlfriends) and she always says 'heyy' and I go UMMM for a split second before I remember it's only 2 y's, nothing crazy.
she's away, and I reasonably should have asked her friends for their numbers since we hang at her house and are welcome to while she's gone but it felt too awkward! because I am awkward.
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
as an adult I do not ever ask for random contact info without having a task/meeting set up
I also don't have facebook but I understand from sarah that it is perf acceptable to like, friend people and then hit them up on there
I have a married friend, one of few female friends (the rest are pretty much her friends or my friends girlfriends) and she always says 'heyy' and I go UMMM for a split second before I remember it's only 2 y's, nothing crazy.
she's away, and I reasonably should have asked her friends for their numbers since we hang at her house and are welcome to while she's gone but it felt too awkward! because I am awkward.
2 ys is like if we had been drinking and you put your arm around me and let the hands rest on my boobs for a bit too long i wouldn't really say anything about it
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GonmunHe keeps kickin' me inthe dickRegistered Userregular
I am wondering if we should take our kids to a therapist or something for like 1 session? Like, I know what they are doing is p normal for their age but it would still be good to see if there was a more optimal way to approach our parenting or get some new strategies or something. idk.
If there is dysfunction in the household, a family therapist may not be a bad idea.
I would avoid thinking that "the kids may need to see someone" in this context - think more like you said in the last sentence about seeking a better approach towards parenting and be open to them maybe saying the problem isn't 100% the kids.
There is value in getting outside opinions and observations on the family dynamic, if you are open to hearing things you may not like and are willing to work at it.
There's not really dysfunction, and like I said previously I know what they are doing is fairly normal so it would be more for us to improve as parents. I just don't know much about whether such a consult would be beneficial or if they only want to see you if there's a real issue going on.
spool32 Belasco32 riemannlives gonmun other parents
your thoughts please
assume that money doesn't really factor in here
several of you asked what the specific issues were so I added them here. thanks everyone for your thoughts so far!
minishark #1 is generally OK but occasionally struggles with sharing. apparently in preschool he has additional issues that don't really manifest at home (acting out by intentionally overturning toy bins, trying to push a kid out of his chair, etc.).
minishark #2 has issues with hitting and also during meal time he can be really stubborn about exactly how he wants his food fed to him and if we don't understand or cooperate he melts down quickly. we are currently correcting the hitting with immediate time outs and are trying to work on communication (he is 21 months) to alleviate some of his frustrations but when the melt downs happen we usually recourse to time outs until he calms down.
Have you tried sign language to help with communication? We used it with our youngest and it really really helped.
Well, to address the things with mini-shark #1 I would suggest keep on course with regards to trying to reinforce how it is good to share. Maybe try and do something with the little one where he the opportunity presents itself. Maybe colouring or drawing and sharing crayons and really reinforcing the whole politeness of sharing and such. That's one thing that comes to mind for me with that anyway.
As for minishark #2 we had similar issues with my son when he was young, especially when it came to food. Time outs are a definite good thing with regards to hitting. Nip that one in the bud asap and impress upon them that hitting is a bad thing and shouldn't be done. Though I will make an observation. Mini-Shark #2 is coming up on 2 years old and as cliché as it sounds, there is a reason they call it the "terrible two's". Sometimes kids don't have a problem but from what I understand this is a point where they are starting to become more inquisitive and observing and looking for reactions. I'd definitely look into maybe checking into parental help sites/books with relation to that age as I think it would really address some of that for you. As well, if you have an opportunity maybe ask a therapist about it. Don't necessarily make it an appointment for the little one to see them but maybe bring up the issue and see if they have some suggestions.
Main key for all this is to try and do as much positive reinforcement as you can. Accentuate the good while trying to still dealing with the bad stuff appropriately.
Yeah, the thing that sucks with #1 is most of the behavior happens when we are not around. I had a talk with him today about how just because Mom and Dad aren't there doesn't mean it is OK to stop sharing or be mean to other kids. I dunno. He has a stress ball at home that he likes to squeeze when he gets upset so we are going to let him bring it to preschool and see if that helps. We will definitely keep working on it at home though!
Re: #2 yeah I get that it's a normal phase, we just never had to really deal with it with #1 and I want to make sure we are doing everything we can to work through it. I will try and look into some websites/books, I'm just nervous about credibility on the internet, yknow?
Thanks for the advice!
I think that would be a good idea with taking the stress ball for sure.
And I can totally see the issue of credibility. I'll take a look on my end as well with regards to things and see if I can find something that would be good for you that is from a reputable source. I'll shoot you a pm in a day or so if I come across anything.
surrealitychecklonely, but not unloveddreaming of faulty keys and latchesRegistered Userregular
landshark ive had a lot of children and my advice would be make sure you adjust the cam shaft correctly, this is the most common source of problems for most first time toddler operators
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
landshark ive had a lot of children and my advice would be make sure you adjust the cam shaft correctly, this is the most common source of problems for most first time toddler operators
ugh the fucking operating manual is in goddam chinese i swear to god
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
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ThomamelasOnly one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered Userregular
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
Bust out that tiny dick and be like
"I don't know how to use this thing, but I got no expectations of you"
Then prepare for the panties to drop
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it." - Oscar Wilde
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Sir Landsharkresting shark faceRegistered Userregular
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
+2
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spacekungfumanPoor and minority-filledRegistered User, __BANNED USERSregular
@Harry Dresden @y2jake215@other people that are not heartless I was thinking that T Swizzle's new video looked awfully familiar, then I realized it was filmed at a place near me (Oheka Castle). I've hung out in the rooms in the video. It's like me and T Swizzle are BFFs.
+5
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
NEXUS OPS!
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Apothe0sisHave you ever questioned the nature of your reality?Registered Userregular
i'm not ashamed of trying to bone i am ashamed of not having the social grace to go from 'these people at work seem to think i'm cool and vice versa, don't young kids text each other and shit' and not being able to gracefully ask for contact info
or do we have to plan to do a social thing outside work and when that's over that is when you ask for numbers
idk making friends is hard
Just be all: YO, have you seen this crazy video? Give me your faceyb deets and I'll send it to you <- insert whatever social media platform is appropriate
I'm pretty sure it's also understood as an overture for friendship.
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ChanusHarbinger of the Spicy Rooster ApocalypseThe Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered Userregular
"Harry Dresden" y2jake215 @other people that are not heartless I was thinking that T Swizzle's new video looked awfully familiar, then I realized it was filmed at a place near me (Oheka Castle). I've hung out in the rooms in the video. It's like me and T Swizzle are BFFs.
omg you two should get one of those necklaces with the two half hearts
Allegedly a voice of reason.
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spacekungfumanPoor and minority-filledRegistered User, __BANNED USERSregular
Posts
Yeah, the thing that sucks with #1 is most of the behavior happens when we are not around. I had a talk with him today about how just because Mom and Dad aren't there doesn't mean it is OK to stop sharing or be mean to other kids. I dunno. He has a stress ball at home that he likes to squeeze when he gets upset so we are going to let him bring it to preschool and see if that helps. We will definitely keep working on it at home though!
Re: #2 yeah I get that it's a normal phase, we just never had to really deal with it with #1 and I want to make sure we are doing everything we can to work through it. I will try and look into some websites/books, I'm just nervous about credibility on the internet, yknow?
Thanks for the advice!
Adorbs.
why would you have to make friends
surely they are already made you just have to find them
Monsterhearts is less Buffy (that'd be Monster of the Week) and more, uh, Twilight? Jennifer's Body? There's definitely some Buffy elements in there but I think the main idea is that you're all just gross teenagers who are manifesting their teen issues through the lens of being shitlord monsters who turn into werewolves and seals and shit
The alternative is to play the Dark Ages playtest, as matriarchal horse-lords
as Shivahn put it, "SEX RIDERS OF SOUTHERN FRANCE"
NO FUCK YOU YOU DIDN'T @ ME ON THE NEW MOBA GAME
YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT?
A SHARK NEVER FORGETS
also ps thanks for the advice
then sneak in the ol 'hey' text.
SINGLE Y CHU! THIS IS KEY!
yes it's p normal to be like
hey you wanna grab drinks/other social activity after work?
ok cool lemme get your number
at least that's how ive done it with my work mates
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
heyyyyy
*block contact*
this
like, asking for numbers without a reason is weird
just like, try and find something they are doing or put something together and invite people
Eddy this kind of thinking is why we had that rape culture seminar
she's away, and I reasonably should have asked her friends for their numbers since we hang at her house and are welcome to while she's gone but it felt too awkward! because I am awkward.
as an adult I do not ever ask for random contact info without having a task/meeting set up
I also don't have facebook but I understand from sarah that it is perf acceptable to like, friend people and then hit them up on there
like, two coworkers see each other, oh shit did you see that thing i texted you?
I AM LEFT OUT AS FK
2 ys is like if we had been drinking and you put your arm around me and let the hands rest on my boobs for a bit too long i wouldn't really say anything about it
I think that would be a good idea with taking the stress ball for sure.
And I can totally see the issue of credibility. I'll take a look on my end as well with regards to things and see if I can find something that would be good for you that is from a reputable source. I'll shoot you a pm in a day or so if I come across anything.
also we talk to soy when he gets home like, did you go in time out today
and he is like, yeah
okay why did you go in time out
addison hit sawyer
YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT LIE TO ME *slams badge on table*
hey~
you have a waterboarding setup, right
HAY I LIKE CAT PICS TEXT ME
I am not sure if you've already been batsignalled on this but FFG is having a huge winter sale, quarters on the dollar kind of discounts
http://store.fantasyflightgames.com/client/client_pages/sale2014.cfm
maybe there is something there you can pick up for the holly-day saison
Doing mad chin crunches
Eating a beardogenic diet
Trying to get off these streets, man
ugh the fucking operating manual is in goddam chinese i swear to god
Not even +1 to tracking.
who even am i anymore
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
S-sempai...
Bust out that tiny dick and be like
"I don't know how to use this thing, but I got no expectations of you"
Then prepare for the panties to drop
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
not a successful doctor with a wife and family
I'm pretty sure it's also understood as an overture for friendship.
omg you two should get one of those necklaces with the two half hearts
I'd say the beard is going ok, but the unicorn horn you are growing is going very well.