Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

1282931333462

Posts

  • ShinyoShinyo Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    So this one time I was over at Lake Tahoe on a road trip, eating at a diner there. There was this large group of stereotypical hippy's sitting behind me, but I didn't think much of it. Also, I was wearing a shirt kinda like this one.
    shirt.jpg

    Anyway, the whole place is pretty crowded, and I'm digging into my food when I notice my sister trying not to laugh. I look up and ask her, "What is it?"
    She shook her head and said, "Nothing."

    When we left she burst out laughing, and I asked her what it was. Apparently while I was eating, those hippy's were admiring of all things my shirt. Saying things like,
    "Man, that is a nice shirt. That is a really nice shirt. If I saw that shirt in a store, I would like, buy it."

  • precisionkprecisionk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Shinyo wrote: »
    So this one time I was over at Lake Tahoe on a road trip, eating at a diner there. There was this large group of stereotypical hippy's sitting behind me, but I didn't think much of it. Also, I was wearing a shirt kinda like this one.
    shirt.jpg

    Anyway, the whole place is pretty crowded, and I'm digging into my food when I notice my sister trying not to laugh. I look up and ask her, "What is it?"
    She shook her head and said, "Nothing."

    When we left she burst out laughing, and I asked her what it was. Apparently while I was eating, those hippy's were admiring of all things my shirt. Saying things like,
    "Man, that is a nice shirt. That is a really nice shirt. If I saw that shirt in a store, I would like, buy it."

    They were gay for you.

  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    precisionk wrote: »
    Shinyo wrote: »
    So this one time I was over at Lake Tahoe on a road trip, eating at a diner there. There was this large group of stereotypical hippy's sitting behind me, but I didn't think much of it. Also, I was wearing a shirt kinda like this one.
    shirt.jpg

    Anyway, the whole place is pretty crowded, and I'm digging into my food when I notice my sister trying not to laugh. I look up and ask her, "What is it?"
    She shook her head and said, "Nothing."

    When we left she burst out laughing, and I asked her what it was. Apparently while I was eating, those hippy's were admiring of all things my shirt. Saying things like,
    "Man, that is a nice shirt. That is a really nice shirt. If I saw that shirt in a store, I would like, buy it."

    They were gay for you.

    My advice, don't wear that shirt in a public bathroom.

    steam_sig.png
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Or hell go for it shinyo, just make sure to tap your foot right for mansex.

  • stiliststilist Registered User
    edited October 2007
    I could’ve sworn I was in the fashion thread for a moment.

    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • SnorkSnork Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Me too. I also wanted to post the Spider-Man/Mysterio comic 'Spider-Man? I am gay! For YOU!'

  • IShallRiseAgainIShallRiseAgain Registered User
    edited October 2007
    ugh about that birthing thing, I was once shown a video that showed it in school....without warning. Ugh, it took me a long time to get that disgusting image out of my head.

    Alador239.png
  • ShinyoShinyo Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I hate you guys. XD

  • GrinninBarrettGrinninBarrett Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Snork wrote: »
    Me too. I also wanted to post the Spider-Man/Mysterio comic 'Spider-Man? I am gay! For YOU!'

    You didn't, but I will!

    spidey-745883.jpg

    EDIT: Don't search for "gay Mysterio" in GIS without safe search on, it was horrifying

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Here's one for the ages-

    So, just now, I was fucking my girlfriend in her car in some parking lot. It's like 11:30, nobody was around, and things just sort of progressed in that direction without us thinking about.

    So mid-the nasty, we see a cop car roll up behind us and we start panicking. We stash anything illicit and my girlfriend wraps a blanket around her naughty bits, and the cop walks up the car. By some incredible feat of luck, we got the best cops ever.

    They were fantastic. He asked for I.D., wrote down our shit, then started talking to us. He was like, "I don't care, some bitch who lives around here saw you bouncing up and down and called us. If you guys want to fuck, I can give you directions to a better place. (Proceeds to explain to us, street by street, a good place where we can park to fuck in the city) After that, his female partner walks up and starts talking to us.

    Fucking hilarious. First thing she said to me was, "I hope you at least got to finish up." I responded with, "Nope, officer, it's a real bummer" and she laughed, remarking "that car is foggy as hell, you damn kids".

    They let us go after telling us to be slightly more stealthy next time. Didn't even try to call our parents or anything (both of us being minors). They didn't even say shit about the packs of cigarettes and shit around despite our being seventeen.

    Best. Cops. Ever.

    reposig.jpg
  • ShinyoShinyo Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Best. Cops. Ever.

  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I have this sort of hunch that most cops are pretty cool people (especially the old ones), but the ones who are real cockbites are the ones who wind up pushing to get assigned to bust parties and respond to noise complaints and things of that nature.

    gkcmatch_zps97480250.jpg
    remember pluto? Once a planet but now a pseudo
    funny how information changes the facts that you know
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Cops where I live are dicks. I mean that universally; I've had to deal with dozens of them in my time here (my friends and I hang out in parks, but teenagers aren't allowed in parks after 10:00...also, there are always two squad cars on the plaza). It's pretty understandable, as they must up with a LOT of shit, but they're still incredible asses. I don't mean that in the "damn these coppers won't catch me a break", I mean it seems to be out of the realm of possibility to have anything approaching an informal or conversation tone, and when I got a speeding ticket the cop asked me three times what I would have done if he had been an old lady crossing the street. I was mildly amused considering that the question was posed by a man who had moments before walked in front of a car going 40 MPH (5 miles over the speed limit) and held his hand up. We're talking, if I had just dropped a cigarette or gotten an itch or something that man would be dead.

    I dunno.

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • HacksawHacksaw J Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Shinyo wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Best. Cops. Ever.
    Seriously.

    You got mega-lucky, man. I know areas in this state where shit like that would be punishable by full-body cavity searches with unlubricated nightsticks.

  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Shinyo wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Best. Cops. Ever.
    Seriously.

    You got mega-lucky, man. I know areas in this state where shit like that would be punishable by full-body cavity searches with unlubricated nightsticks.

    I'm actually sorta shocked. There was open alchohol in the back from awhile ago I'm almost positive the cop saw when flashlighting, and I had some weed and a very dirty bowl on me. Not hidden, either, but sitting in my pockets in my pants around my ankles.

    Which is another reason I'm glad they didn't decide to search us. I think lucking out is an understatement.

    reposig.jpg
  • LoathingLoathing Registered User
    edited October 2007
    So while eating my chicken teriyaki and managing to get it all over my goddamn room somehow I managed to remember a few more sort of interesting stories.

    Back in highschool, don't remember which grade, we used to piss each other off by putting those little brace/retainer elastic bands underneath each others combo locks. Pretty much it gets under the part that you turn to open the lock, and has the effect of fucking super glue. A friend of mine got the lockers mixed up and put it onto my lock, and when I found out about this after not being able to open my lock I proceeded to curse him out by screaming "You fucking chink!" as loud as I could in the nearly empty halls. (he was an immigrant from china)

    Notice I say nearly empty.

    To the right of me I hear someone go "Um, excuse me?" and after turning around I notice two Asian girls eating their lunch in the hallway, not more then ten meters from me.

    Awkward.

    This one is from last year when my platoon was on a training exercise for two weeks in the winter. Middle of January, with beautiful -45C weather, us living in a makeshift camp that consisted of sex or seven 25 man tents, surround by barbed wire with a lookout outpost in the middle. Pretty much a forward observation post. With five, solidly frozen port-a-pottyies.

    Did I mention the weather?

    At the end of the two weeks we finally arrived back to civilization and our first order of business was to mob the goddamn bathroom. So there im sitting, enjoying myself immensely, I hear a stall a few down from mine get kicked open, then the sound of a thousand dying cows is unleashed, then the water flushes, and then silence. All in a space of five to ten seconds. Kind of dumb struck after that.

    Lastly, a few friends and I were in Montreal, Quebec just out seeing the city, and on our way back we had to wait for about an hour for our bus to arrive. After a bit one of us needs to take a leak, so for some odd reason we all decide to go. We get into the bathroom and theres only three urinals, and four of us, so logically one person goes to the stalls.

    My buddy opens the stall door, and just stands there. So apparently there was a dude in there, just whacking away and having a grand old time, with two grocery bags beside him.

    Who the fuck goes to get groceries, then jacks off in a bus/train station bathroom with the door unlocked.

    Yea, it was a bit of a weird trip.

    gnodab wrote: »
    There is nothing quite like smashing a bullhorn so hard in the ass with a supersledge that its head explodes.
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Loathing wrote: »
    ...us living in a makeshift camp that consisted of sex or seven 25 man tents...

    :winky:

    DogSig.gif
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Loathing wrote: »
    ...us living in a makeshift camp that consisted of sex or seven 25 man tents...

    :winky:

    Freudian slip!

    75trafim7bi2.png
  • LoathingLoathing Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Whoops.

    Fuck it, its staying.

    gnodab wrote: »
    There is nothing quite like smashing a bullhorn so hard in the ass with a supersledge that its head explodes.
  • WashWash Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Shinyo wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Best. Cops. Ever.

    Superbad really raised the bar high.

    u5mv3v50fyfj.png
  • Not SarastroNot Sarastro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Managed to coin the concept of diarrhea diplomacy many years back.

    Was tasking with taking a patrol to a village on the edge of our area of ops, to try & garner support among the local populace, mostly farmers. Unfortunately, not having been in country very long, had a bad case of the shits. Got there and was talking to the village headman via our interpreter, when a particularly sudden attack hit. I told the interpreter to excuse me, and could only take a few paces before I had to drop my kecks and pretty much spray the ground. Once finished, did them up again and tried to look as professional as possible. Headman was talking loudly to the interpreter.

    Interpreter: "He says you just shat in his vegetable garden".

    Me: "Bollocks. Please offer my sincere apologies"

    Interpreter relays this, and headman says something back.

    Interpreter: "No it's ok. He said he just seeded it, you just fertilized it, and that means you're more use than all the other soldiers who come through here".

    They ended up letting us establish a presence. So next time you need to make friends with a farmer, just go shit in his garden.

  • noobertnoobert Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Most embarrassing moment would have had to have been at a friends 18th birthday bash. So it's late and people are heading to bed/home, this guy was a very good mate of mine, so my girl and i managed to score a double bed. Being the teen horndogs we where (me 18, her 16) we decided we should go for it before bed.

    Awesome idea rite? Drunk sex in a good mates parents spare room...

    So shes going cowgirl (but like, facing away from me) when BAM door busts open and light goes on. It's my mates drunken dad, he stands and stares for what seems like forever (most probably getting a good eyefull), congratulates me with "good work son" and walks off.

    The next morning he greets me with a pat on the back and a wink...

  • SirUltimosSirUltimos Don't talk, Rusty. Just paint. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Here's one for the ages-

    So, just now, I was fucking my girlfriend in her car in some parking lot. It's like 11:30, nobody was around, and things just sort of progressed in that direction without us thinking about.

    So mid-the nasty, we see a cop car roll up behind us and we start panicking. We stash anything illicit and my girlfriend wraps a blanket around her naughty bits, and the cop walks up the car. By some incredible feat of luck, we got the best cops ever.

    They were fantastic. He asked for I.D., wrote down our shit, then started talking to us. He was like, "I don't care, some bitch who lives around here saw you bouncing up and down and called us. If you guys want to fuck, I can give you directions to a better place. (Proceeds to explain to us, street by street, a good place where we can park to fuck in the city) After that, his female partner walks up and starts talking to us.

    Fucking hilarious. First thing she said to me was, "I hope you at least got to finish up." I responded with, "Nope, officer, it's a real bummer" and she laughed, remarking "that car is foggy as hell, you damn kids".

    They let us go after telling us to be slightly more stealthy next time. Didn't even try to call our parents or anything (both of us being minors). They didn't even say shit about the packs of cigarettes and shit around despite our being seventeen.

    Best. Cops. Ever.

    I'm picturing the cops from Superbad, here.

  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    SirUltimos wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Here's one for the ages-

    So, just now, I was fucking my girlfriend in her car in some parking lot. It's like 11:30, nobody was around, and things just sort of progressed in that direction without us thinking about.

    So mid-the nasty, we see a cop car roll up behind us and we start panicking. We stash anything illicit and my girlfriend wraps a blanket around her naughty bits, and the cop walks up the car. By some incredible feat of luck, we got the best cops ever.

    They were fantastic. He asked for I.D., wrote down our shit, then started talking to us. He was like, "I don't care, some bitch who lives around here saw you bouncing up and down and called us. If you guys want to fuck, I can give you directions to a better place. (Proceeds to explain to us, street by street, a good place where we can park to fuck in the city) After that, his female partner walks up and starts talking to us.

    Fucking hilarious. First thing she said to me was, "I hope you at least got to finish up." I responded with, "Nope, officer, it's a real bummer" and she laughed, remarking "that car is foggy as hell, you damn kids".

    They let us go after telling us to be slightly more stealthy next time. Didn't even try to call our parents or anything (both of us being minors). They didn't even say shit about the packs of cigarettes and shit around despite our being seventeen.

    Best. Cops. Ever.

    I'm picturing the cops from Superbad, here.

    Two stories related to this.

    First one happened just the other day. The GF and I had just gotten back from Wichita, and were sitting in my driveway. No one was around, things started to get a little friendly. I had just started to undo my belt, when my roommate and his GF leave the house and stand on the front porch. Staring at the car. They were debating whether it meant I was home or not, and if we were in the car or not. So they come up to the car and tap on the window. This is most awkward as he, despite being the very liberal and irreverent son of a liberal and irreverent pastor is a no-sex before marriage guy, and she while a very liberal Christian who puts up with and even sometimes participates in our wierdnesses (such as founding a cult) is pretty straight laced when it comes to sex stuff. So there was kind of an awkward conversation. Fortunately, no one was naked yet or anything.

    Cop related story.
    Same roommate, plus a bunch of his roommates from that year, had all recently found their various stashes of fireworks and in one case, homemade gunpowder. So they figured they should have some fun and burn it all. They go out to the little firepit meeting ground area of our college, and start a fire, and just start throwing crap in it. All of a sudden they see a cop car coming. They debated quickly whether or not to run for it, but decide against it as one of them didn't want to run through the woods in borrowed slippers. So they all just sort of impromptu decide to stare down at the fire, as though they were having a prayer meeting or something. The cop walks up, stands in their circle and looks at the fire (which clearly has bits of contraband explosive in it) for a bit, then says "You boys go to Bethel?" They all nod and mutter yeses. He stares for a few moments more, then says "These are the best years of your life." and walks back to his car. He is now forever known as the Philosopher Cop.

    steam_sig.png
  • ScumdoggScumdogg Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Just post high school, friends and i are all still living with parents. I walk into a friend's house via the back door, which passes through the kitchen and into the living room.

    His younger brother, kind of an irritating douche at the time, is taking some sort of vocational classes and trying to tell me about them as soon as i get in the house. He's sitting at the kitchen table and says "Hey, come over here and check out how much this tool belt weighs!".

    Ever the classy gentleman, i reply, "No, YOU come over HERE and see how much my dick weighs".

    As i'm finishing the sentence, i walk through the archway into the living room, turn right, and bump straight into his mom, who had to have heard the whole thing.

    She stopped inviting me over for dinner. :(

  • stiliststilist Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Scumdogg wrote: »
    Just post high school, friends and i are all still living with parents. I walk into a friend's house via the back door, which passes through the kitchen and into the living room.

    His younger brother, kind of an irritating douche at the time, is taking some sort of vocational classes and trying to tell me about them as soon as i get in the house. He's sitting at the kitchen table and says "Hey, come over here and check out how much this tool belt weighs!".

    Ever the classy gentleman, i reply, "No, YOU come over HERE and see how much my dick weighs".

    As i'm finishing the sentence, i walk through the archway into the living room, turn right, and bump straight into his mom, who had to have heard the whole thing.

    She stopped inviting me over for dinner. :(
    Maybe she was afraid she couldn’t hold it up.

    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • YodaTunaYodaTuna Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Loathing wrote: »
    Who the fuck goes to get groceries, then jacks off in a bus/train station bathroom with the door unlocked.

    Yea, it was a bit of a weird trip.

    When I was like 12, we were road trippin it to New Mexico for my aunt's wedding, we stopped at McDonald's somewhere in NM and I had to shit. So I got to the bathroom, turn to go in the first stall, whose door is wide open.

    What do I see? I see a mexican dude taking a shit while smiling and waving at me.

    I was taking a crap at a store I worked at once. It was just a bathroom, no stalls. Sometimes it was difficult to get locked properly. Of course, this time it doesn't lock and some dude just walks in on me. He made a hasty retreat and I was wondering if he had seen my dong as I was just standing up.

    The worst part was, I was on register and I had to ring him out like 5 minutes later.

  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Everyone at work is looking at me funny because I've spent the majority of today laughing at my monitor.



    And now I've turned the computer on and come here, so its only going to get worse.

    Tube-san wrote:
    I apologise for my rudeness desu.
  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Veevee wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    The women that you marry will thank you for that attribute, but I see where it hurts a 17 year olds chances.

    On a semi-related note... I used to have a problem (ok, ok, I still do sometimes) where my foreskin is all scrunched up and I fail to notice it when I go for a pee. Result: random spraying instead of well-aimed streams. After one very messy incident, which happened at home thankfully, my mother was asked in to help me clean up the mess. I was having trouble explaining to her exactly what the problem was, and in frustration she said "Well just point it at the water! How hard can it be?"

    My reply?

    "I can't! It's uncontrollable!"

    Ten years later and she still laughs about it.

    And that, that story right there, is the very reason I sit when I use the toilet.


    Except in the morning.

    Don't ever try to sit down on the toilet in the morning.

    Not even after reading my post and thinking "hey, I'll give it a go".

    It might work fine the first time. it may even work fine the second, or third, or subsequent times.

    But eventually, while holding your morning glory down with your hand, you will slip and piss on your own face.

    AND IT IS NOT NICE.

    Tube-san wrote:
    I apologise for my rudeness desu.
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Dhalphir wrote: »
    Veevee wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    The women that you marry will thank you for that attribute, but I see where it hurts a 17 year olds chances.

    On a semi-related note... I used to have a problem (ok, ok, I still do sometimes) where my foreskin is all scrunched up and I fail to notice it when I go for a pee. Result: random spraying instead of well-aimed streams. After one very messy incident, which happened at home thankfully, my mother was asked in to help me clean up the mess. I was having trouble explaining to her exactly what the problem was, and in frustration she said "Well just point it at the water! How hard can it be?"

    My reply?

    "I can't! It's uncontrollable!"

    Ten years later and she still laughs about it.

    And that, that story right there, is the very reason I sit when I use the toilet.


    Except in the morning.

    Don't ever try to sit down on the toilet in the morning.

    Not even after reading my post and thinking "hey, I'll give it a go".

    It might work fine the first time. it may even work fine the second, or third, or subsequent times.

    But eventually, while holding your morning glory down with your hand, you will slip and piss on your own face.

    AND IT IS NOT NICE.

    I once sat down for a dump... somehow the damn thing got aimed exactly towards the small gap between the seat and the bowl. Cue frantic scramble trying to stop the stream of urine unleashing itself upon my innocent pants and underwear. Thankfully I was alone at home and I managed to change pants without any humiliating explanations.

    Hisao? What's the word for when it feels in your heart that everything in the world is alright?
    .

    STEAM
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Oh fuck, I hate when that happens.

    FmyY1Op.png
  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited October 2007
    God.

    We're such 'tards as guys. We basically have the world's original point and shoot interface, yet still fuck it up :p

  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    True :)

    My uncle peed in his own face once... tried to pee over the six-foot fence. My grandpa apparently couldn't stop laughing for hours.

    Hisao? What's the word for when it feels in your heart that everything in the world is alright?
    .

    STEAM
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Oh dear god. All these stories about pissing...so close to home and all so hilarious. I can't hardly contain my hysterical laughter. My co-workers have to wonder what that dry heaving sound coming from my desk is...

    Spoiler:
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    EMBARRASSMENT

    1. My brother was putting a DVD into my laptop for my 11 y/o sister to watch and it started playing, from Media Centre, some naaaaasty porn that he had downloaded while I was out of town and left it unlocked.

    2. I walked in on one of my friends masturbating when we were like 9. We still pretend we've forgotten about it.

    3.One of my best friends is transsexual (male to female) but still has a wispy beard. I get embarrassed FOR him when he has to say his new girl name in a public place (but I guess that's because I'm still dealing with it).

    4. A few years ago, a girl I liked who liked me back decided to go camping in the hills above my house. One thing led to another, and pretty soon she was giving me a hand job while I fingered her (no johnnies). At the point of no return, we both kind of spasmed and I came in my eye. THE most painful experience of my life, and we both had conflicting explanations for my red-eye the next day, leading ALL of our mutual friends to find out :oops:

    /EMBARRASSMENT

  • stiliststilist Registered User
    edited October 2007
    That is why you always work out the details of a multi-person lie before telling it.

    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My excuse was far more elaborate (and yet believable): I slipped in my living room and spiked my eye on the standard bearer in my freshly painted Chaos Space Marine squad (40k FTW).

    Her excuse was that some random on the streets while we were out threw some chilli powder in my eye. Seriously, what the fuck.

  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited October 2007
    "Got some soap in my eye" never occurred to either of you?

    Spoiler:
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Or maybe even allergies?

    Allergies makes one of my eyes red and itchy rather frequently.

    75trafim7bi2.png
  • stiliststilist Registered User
    edited October 2007
    Or maybe even allergies?

    Allergies makes one of my eyes red and itchy rather frequently.
    I’m sure.

    I poop things on my site and twitter
This discussion has been closed.