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How to Host a Phalla (mechanics & balance discussion)
Posts
I think you can just announce and start one as long as another isn't running. I think it's really up to the ODAM crew to be motivated enough to run them.
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LAST DAY TO SIGN-UP: OCT. 31
The rules and a link to the proboard in the spoiler.
[size=+3]What is this?[/size]
This year, the PA Forumers received a gigantic waste of time via the ever-running Phalla games. If you don't know what a Phalla is, then you can't even qualify for this. Get out.
With many of the PA Community having rallied around their Phallas, we've (Visiblehowl and Squashua) decided to host the first ever Secret Phalla for the holiday season.
No, it's not a game. It's a Secret Santa for Phalla participants. You get assigned a target and as their Secret Phallus, you send them a gift, and hope they aren't guarded. Then you wait for your own Secret Phallus to seer you with a gift.
Unfortunately, the mods have informed us that they've decided only one Secret Santa/Satan per sub-forum, so we've taken this offboard: http://secretphalla07.proboards104.com/
Please register using your PA username so we know who you are.
[size=+3]RULES[/size]
1. You need to have participated in (and by participate, I mean signed up and actually played through a round in which you participated - you know who you are) at least one Phalla on PA, be it in Of Dice and Men / Critical Failures, Debate and Discourse, or even on SE++. Yes, those are valid.
2. Your must have registered your username at Penny Arcade by October 1, 2007, the latest.
3. You must send an e-mail to: secretphalla@gmail.com by October 31st (no exceptions) with the following:
- Your PA username as the subject or included in the text
- The name of at least one PA Phalla in which you can prove you actively participated.
- Your full name
- Your e-mail address
- Your full shipping mailing address where you can receive this.
- Whether or not you can acccept not-safe-for-work gifts.
- Whether you can handle international targets (see rule 8 below before answering!)
4. There is no spending limit, up or down. Spend as much as you want, but don't complain if you do not get a gift of equal value. You can make something homemade. Preferably the gift will be Phalla/Mafia/Werewolf-oriented.
5. Don't complain about your gift; you're taking a chance here.
6. Do not complain about your Secret Phalla target. It's 100% random and you cannot request someone. If you want an address to send them something on your own time outside of the Phalla, it will be provided.
7. If you really get someone you dislike, suck it up. Taking advice from another PA Secret Santa going on, nothing says "backhanded gift" like a donation to charity in someone's name - www.childsplaycharity.org
8. If you do not send a gift, we will request that every Phalla Game Master restrict you from any further games; or if not you will be guaranteed to be a permanent day one bandwagon target.
9. NOTICE There will be people of different countries participating. If you get someone foreign, try to locate the Amazon for their country, or a similar website, and order them something with a credit card. This should minimize your shipping cost to local. If there is no way you can handle an international target, please let us known in the e-mail you send.
[size=+3]HOW IT WORKS[/size]
We will randomly assign targets on November 2nd and send e-mails to everyone with their targets. You must send your target a gift postmarked by December 15th, preferably earlier.
[size=+3]SPREAD THE WORD![/size]
This is a non-PA Forum sponsored Secret Santa. Help spread the word.
Quote the following and stick it in your signature!
Phalla Player Secret Santa Link
[size=+3]PARTICIPANTS[/size] (Alphabetical order with apologies to B:L)
Updates are based on edit time of this post.
Ardor
B:L
Buzz buzz
cj iwakura
DevoutlyApathetic
FreeAgent
grundlterror
HylianBunny
Infidel
Plutonium
precisionk
Psycholarry1
Qorzm
Raakam
Rend
Shamus
Squashua
Unearthly Stew
Visiblehowl
Xevo
Zot
I certainly can use help spreading the word to our SE++, D&D and ODAM Phalla player bretheren.
Quote the following and stick it in your signature!
Phalla Player Secret Santa Link
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Eh, I didn't exactly have a driving need. My original idea didn't pan out, so I was just going to think up something if my turn came around.
I still have a backup idea, but nothing that I'm ready to just up and start a signup for without getting an okay and/or doing a good amount of planning.
Welcome to the world on this side.
Ad Astra Per Phalla.
On the subject of guardians, I don't think there should ever be a occasion where someone can become flat-out invincible for the remainder of the game. The badguys should always have some way of getting rid of them(aside from the vote, unless the badguys have a way to serious manipulate the vote).
Either from the guardian not being able to be guarded(thus killing the guardian stops the protection), or that a guardian only blocks X number of kills(where X is less than the total number that the badguys can bring to bear), or some other mechanic(The dead spy kills in Phalliad come to mind).
Will probably stay secret though, except to the guardians.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
The job was a decent enough one; the Phallus: IV was a salvage vessel, only around 8 years old. The crew, who seemed to be a mishmash of civilians, pirates, scientists, and military men were on route to the intergalactic spacestation Optimus I. The salvage ship was being used as a transport of sorts, due to them being docked on a planet as it chose to die....volcanoes erupting while the seas flooded...it was a horrible sight and the good captain Spectre had just enough time to overload the ship with fleeing people before the planet blew.
Man, was it a gorgeous sight, though. Dr. Green had never seen a planet explode before...well, that's what seemed to happen to it. A black hole slowly faded into existance a few thousand lightyears away from the planet...and it didn't so much explode as it was crushed. Have you ever seen a planet get sucked into a blackhole? It explodes...moments before all the pieces are sucked into itself and vanishes from sight within 10 seconds. It's breathtaking.
Dr. Green rubbed his eyes as he walked to the bridge. The captain had requested him, personally. This wasn't uncommon, as he was one of the few true members of the Phallus: IV; he was the Cheif Medical Officer on board, the one who was in charge of keeping the crew (and their newly aquired passengers) alive during their long missions. Green walked onto the bridge.
"Ah, Dr.Green, I am glad to see you are awake.", said the captain. "We have spotted a mysterious spot on our radar the past few hours...and it appears to be a ship. A quite large one at that."
"Hrmph.", Dr. Green responded. "What, do you really think we have enough time to salvage a ship while we have all these extra people on board? You're crazy!"
"I thought you may say that, Green. While we do not have the time, or the food to conduct such a time-intesive process such as a salvage...we do have enough fuel to perform a tug run."
"Ah. I don't see how, considering the amount of damage we sustained during the last pull we tried to do. I assume you are going to want me to tag along with the boarding party, then?" Green, rolled his eyes. He and Captain Spectre had never really gotten along, but the man was truely testing his nerves today.
"You got it, my boy! We are pulling up to the ship right now. It's called the Event Horizon. Kind of a weird name for a ship, isn't it? Going through my logs, I can't seem to find the registration for a vessel by this name; then again, we've only required them for the past 200 years. It could be a relic." Spectre grinned. "This kind of thing would end up in a museum. A museum that would pay a huge sum. Heh heh.
"Suit up doc, we're about to board." Thorgot chimed in, his scarred face and large arms made him seem brute-ish, though he was as tame as they come. Unless, he was drunk of course.
"Yeah, yeah." Green locked his helmet on with a twist and a click. He walked over to the bay doors next to Thorgot, Ardor, and Aldo; the "Wrecking Crew" they liked to call themselves. The bay doors opened and they stepped into the airlock.
"Ugh, I hate this part." Green winced. He liked the ship-life, but couldn't stand the thought of being sucked into deep space. Too big...too black...too cold.
Aldo put a hand on his shoulder. "No worries, mate. I gotcha."
The bay doors parted in a hiss and a burst of steam, while the 4 looked on into darkness. The Event Horizon's docking system had been of an archaeic design, probably made somewhere around the early 2000's and thus it didn't sync well with year 3000 technology.
Steam continued to hiss and pour out around the ring holding the ships together. Green was hesitant to step forward, through his load orifice...but as the team started to move, Aldo pulled him along with them.
"Alright folks," Spectre piped in though the team's headsets. "I'm going to have you split into groups. Aldo and Ardor, you two go to engineering and see if this heap has any more fuel left. If at all possible, get the engines back online; Thorgot and Green, I want you to go to the ship's bridge and see if you can't find the captain's manifest, also try and get the life support systems back online. Good luck."
Aldo and Ardor gave Green and his partner peace signs and walked off a dark corridor to the right, whereas Thorgot and he moved to the right. They passed many of the crew's quarters, the brig, and the kitchen as they made their way towards the bridge. The walls seemed blurry though Green's visor...it needed to be washed.
"So, what do you think of this thing? It gives me the creeps." said Thorgot, his voice ringing into Green's helmet. "I don't know where it came from. One moment we had free space ahead, and then this baby just...appeared. I don't know...the Phallus's new instruments were just installed. These were supposed to be top-of-the-line. Eh...I'm just getting a weird vibe...you know?"
"No. I don't know. It's just a dead ship. Ghost stories don't matter here, or anywhere. We're alone on this thing, quit whining." Green came off a bit harsh...due to the fact that he did have a feeling of unease. Hell, he normally didn't get the willies from this kind of thing....but he was getting them.
"Hold up a sec, would ya Thor?" Green spotted the med bay and motioned for Thorgot to check it out with him. "I want to see if they had laser-brand tools back when this was made. They seem to have been around forever."
"Eh, alright. We need to make it quick then. We have a bunch of people on board the Phallus who probably don't want to be stopping anywhere on the way to their families." Thorgot moved infront of Dr. Green's form, using his greater strength to pry open the now, defunct med bay doors.
Walking inside, Green thought he saw a shadow flash against the celing and gasped, only to have Thorgot turn to him and raise an eyebrow. "Ghost stories aint real, huh? Comeon, check your equipment man." Green shook his head as he reached towards one of the lighted cabinets that lined the side of the wall, next to the door.
The headlamps on their helmets dimmed...then went out. Green let out a squeak of discomfort. "Where the hell did our lights go. I hate the dark!" Thorgot's voice popped in, "That's strange...let me check t-" The voice was cut off by an ear piercing screech. Green yowled and put his golved hands up to the sides of his helmet in a vain attempt to cancel out the sound.
The sound stopped.
The overhead light slowly brightened as the ship regained power. Ardor's voice popping into Green's ears "Holeeeeey, Jesus. What was that there noise, boys? Green, did you see the boogey man or sumthun? I never heard a man scream like that."
Green blinked, looking around at the empty room he was standing in. Thorgot was gone; in his place was his space suit. Empty. Disgarded. On the floor.
Ardor spoke up again, in that annoying southern drawl, "Thorgot? Dr. Green? You there, fellas?" Green couldn't talk, his jaw wasn't able to move. The color drained from his face as he looked to the lighted cabinet in from of him, a small amount of blood dripping from the bottom of the right door frame.
His gloved hand reached out...slowly opening the door, a creeak echoing throughout the empty medical bay.
Green found Thorgot, or what was left of him.
Pieces of Thorgot were pinned up against the cabinet walls, the back lit lighting flowing out in a dim orange around his body parts. A foot here, and arm there....all seemed to have been surgically removed with the upmost precision...Thorgot's head was hanging from the celing on the cabinet, a look of horrible fright and pain frozen against the dead man's features....his balls, jutted out from his mouth.
Green felt something in his other hand and looked down, a gleaming bonesaw covered in blood, as well as the rest of his suit. It dripped down onto the floor...pooling below him.
"Green. Dr. Green. GREEN!"
Dr. Green awoke to the captain yelling his name into the comm that was situated in his room that was located on the Phallus: IV. Green had been crying in his sleep, his lower lip bleeding a bit from what had to have been a bitten lip.
"Dr Green, get up here. We've located a ship and we need you to go aboard with the "Wrecking Crew". It's amazing...it is just floating dead in space! We can't quite read the name from here...but it seems to be called the Event...something. Come to the bridge for your briefing."
There was a knock on his door while he still sat on the edge of his bed, unable to understand what had just happened. The door parted in a "swooosh" noise.
Thorgot popped his head in. "Doctor Green, are you doing alright man? The captain sent me to get you."
Doctor Green rubbed his mouth, a bit of blood smearing onto his hand. He looked at it as a child would look at an oncoming car.
Eyes open, mouth slightly agape...Dr. Green started screaming.
Looks fine to me.
Most likely, the goal wouldn't be so much to kill the bad element, but to reach the bottom of the fifth stratum; though there will be outside elements mixed in with the main 'party' set on preventing them from completing their goal.
Also, multiple job classes are a given, though they'll probably be predetermined as opposed to letting the players select their own(which would probably just result in an army of Landsknechts).
Welcome to the world on this side.
...
How about a Deception phalla?
Much as I love that series to death, I'm not sure how I could apply Phalla mechanics to it offhand. It's usually one person against the world.
Besides, only a handful of people even know what it is.
Welcome to the world on this side.
Deception's usually about a good person corrupted by the forces of evil. The protagonist(female in every one but the first for some reason) has to keep intruders out of a mansion they're given control over by killing everyone who enters.
The series likes to force moral decisions on the player; like having to kill parents looking for medicine to cure their sick child.
The game involves trap mechanics; the character can't fight at all, but can plant wall/ceiling/floor traps in every section of the building.
One of the most fun games ever, but again, not sure how it'd work for a Phalla.
Welcome to the world on this side.
Still like the idea of having a phalla with an evil village. Everyone likes being either a bad guy or a hero, right?
I ran a small game on Dynagrip's board during the Great Forum Downtime, with that theme. The theme worked well enough.
Welcome to the world on this side.
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Holy god, yes
3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
Actually, it might be worth doing instead of Gods of Phalla... hmm.
thorgot and I put a good deal of effort building and balancing our game, and its painful to watch it get gutted and crushed by severe inactivity. This is not the first game that has happened to either.
It really, really, really irks me when people sign up and then either 1. blatantly don't participate, or 2. post like once a day and say nothing but "hai guys wuts the deel?" or something lame like that. If you can't dedicate the time, don't fuckin sign up.
I would have gladly waited another day or two to fill the game up if I knew that everyone was going to actually play. Oh, and big props to those of you who came to us and said "hey, thanks for the game, but I can't dedicate the time, can you replace me?" I am very thankful for you doing that.
Don't take it as a personal insult, I'd just think people might be out and about more or the weekend slowed things down as usual?
If it's voting you are having issues with, that's one thing. If it's post counts, perhaps there isn't much to add or people are working behind the scenes?
I've always been perfectly fine with this and I wish more people would do this. Real life is more important than online games but consideration for other people playing the game with you is fairly important as well.
I'm still looking for a solution for the edge-inactive bad guy issue. It's still too effective and it doesn't really make it a game so much as an elaborate statistical exercise. I'm considering a positive reinforcement mechanism but I'm not positive to make it free from abuse.
Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
The thing about replacing people, yeah we only have 5 reserves, but I could probably get another 10 or so people to step in and play if it came to it. I have no qualms with replacing someone for being inactive, but it's much better when they can take the initiative and say hey, I can't keep going.
If that's the way a person always acts though, it's nothing unusual at all. If some folks starting posting only 3 times a day, they would be called out quickly.
I personally favor team-based games myself, without looking for the bad guys, mostly because I enjoy strategy more myself. Plus I always enjoy working with people, even if it's a big risk. By removing the smaller bad guy function, you probably create more opportunities for people to work together and such, but you also move farther away from the more standard and traditional phalla.
That's sad. I was very much half-assing it.
Do not read if you're still alive over there.
Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
I don't think that banning phalla from D&D is a solution to the problem, it will only put more pressure on the phallas hosted here.
Does anyone know if there's a few big offenders? For as far as I am aware it's usually new people who just wanted to try it out, got a vanillager role and think "hey, I was promised epic-ness, instead I received a pitchfork and was told to join a bandwagon! Fuck this, I won't drop out, but it's not like I can do anything anyway"
Wrong mindset
Only got for 4 posts between 4 bad guys on day 1? 20% chance of success.
Something like this yes. I was thinking of involving stuff like Standard Deviations and total post volumes but I need to review some math I haven't used in ages to do it that way.
Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
This might work. Wait, is there a way to see how much posts people make /per day/?
Yea, this is one of my concerns at the moment (and Phalla Phalla was a bit of a test). I think I would have to make sure that as soon as vote closes to open the post count window and take a snap shot of it to work from. Once it's part of the logging spreadsheet it isn't too bad.
Borderlands 2 PA Xbox Metatag - Bazillion Guns
I did PhalLOST alone. That was a bear.
Of course, I didn't narrate half the nights. In fact, I still haven't posted the final narration.
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Just to tell the players of who died? I hope not, really.