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[Phalla] WWI - Pointy Hat Guys Win!
PsychoLarry1
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Welcome to my World War I - A West Side Story Musical by Steven Sondheim and produced by Mel Brooks, critically acclaimed actor, producer and director Phalla.
"Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.
GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori."
-Wilfred Owen
Basic Plot
What is a Phalla?
Map!
I also drew up a text based version with the grid designations added. It's rough, but it should give you the general idea.
----A--B--C--D--E--F--G--H--I--J--K
0
L--1--1--1--1--2--1--2--1--1--1--1
M--1--1--1--1--2--1--2--1--1--1--1
N--4--4--3--3--5--5--4--5--3--4--4
O--6--6--4--4--4--8--8--4--9--9--4
P--6--6--7--7--7--8--8--4--9--9--4
Q--5--5--3--3--4--4--4--4--3--3--3
R--1--1--1--1--1--2--1--1--1--1--1
S--1--1--1--1--1--2--1--1--1--1--1
0
0 = Command Bunker - No casualties may be taken by artillery attacks here, and players may only be attacked by other units in the bunker. Only the General Staff and Majors are allowed to enter the Command Bunker, though enemy units may force their way in.
1 = Trench - 75% protection from units attempting to fire into the trenches, no protection from artillery. Adds 10% to kills for units firing out of the trenches.
2 = Trench w/ Machine Gun - Machine gun may fire up to 2 squares in front of it or one square to the diagonal left or right. Fire focused on one player will deal out 600 kills, indiscriminate fire at a zone will deal out 30% casualties to anyone in the area. Players may declare to use the machine gun along with a back up action, one declaring player will be selected randomly from this group.
3 = Barbed wire - Movement through barbed wire requires a full turn.
4 = No Man's Land - No bonuses or negatives.
5 = Minefield - Players moving through a minefield suffer 100 casualties. Players sprinting through a mine field suffer 200 casualties
6 = Crashed Plane - Wreckage of a plane, may hold useful intelligence or equipment
7 = Crash Trench - Shallow ditch dug by crashing plane, provides a 10% protection for units inside the trench
8 = Hill 382 - Large hill in the middle of no man's land. Units on one side may not shoot at units on the other side. Units moving across the hill suffer 10% more casualties
9 = Bombed out Church - Provides view of 2 squares in every direction. Bonus to sharpshooters.
Bonus Blarney version!
Actions
Attacks
Equipment
Regiments
Deaths
I will accept as many people as are willing to play the game, though it is designed for around 60 players. The game will begin on monday, and will last 10 days or fewer.
Players
1. B:L
2. Telcus
3. Obbi - Wiped Out
4. Ultarune - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
5. Nion - Wiped Out
6. Mr. Embarkation
7. Typhus733 - Wiped Out
8. Romantic Undead - Wiped Out
9. Frost Mist
10. Oatway - Wiped Out
11. Saburbia - Hahahahaha Wipe Out (Drum Solo)
12. DasUberEdwards
13. Jdarksun
14. Precisionk
15. Quoth
16. Whod - Wiped Out by Loony Larry Ford's Crazy Savings!
17. Squashua
18. Mrpaku
19. Thorgot
20. James - Wiped Out
21. Gumpy - wiped out
22. Maximus - Trench Foot (Withdrew)
23. Varcayn - Wiped Out
24. Inglorious Coyote - Trench Foot (Inactivity removal)
25. El Skid
26. Corp. Shepard
27. Burnage - Wiped Out
28. TheLawinator
29. Niceguy Myeye - Wiped Out
30. TehSpectre
31. FreeAgent - Wiped Out
32. Trust
34. Stew_Stick - Like a scribble on a white board, he is Wiped Out
35. Lovelyahava - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
36. Thorpe
37. Qorzm - Wiped Out
38. Zanmatto - Trench Foot (Removed for Inactivity)
39. iamtheaznman - Wiped Out
40. delroland
41. Frosteey
42. Savant - Wiped Out
43. Cheez - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
44. PsychoCucumber
45. Seriously - 3 Strikes, You're Wiped out!
46. Koan - Wiped Out
47. Meister - Wiped Out
48. Pretentious
49. Aegis
50. Grundlterror - Wiped Out
51. Aldo
52. MrBlarney - Wiped Out
Round 0 Narration
Narration 2 and results for turns 1 and 2
Narration 3
Narration 4
Narration 5
Results Turn 6
Narration 7
"Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.
GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori."
-Wilfred Owen
Basic Plot
1915-16. The country is divided by trenches that stretch from the Baltic to the Mediterranean. While artillery blasts the country side to dust and mud, machine guns sit, waiting to gun down anyone foolish enough to cross No Man's Land. The Central Powers (Germany, Austria-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire) have cut a bloody swath into France, and have now been forced to a stand still. Here in the countryside around the small town of Phallouis, Field Marshall Phallouis' ancestral home, the Allied forces make their stand. Unfortunately for the dough boys, it isn't as simple as charging one line.
Outnumbered and low on supplies, the Central powers have utilized the chaos caused by constant bombardment and troop losses to infiltrate a number of their own men into the Allied chain of command. It isn't known how many battalions are loyal to the Kaiser, but Allied command has issued orders to all officers to beware and watch their fellow men for signs of treason. Despite this treachery, the Allies must win out. In ten days the Central lines will be reinforced, creating a stalemate that may last for years. By blood and valour the Hun must be driven out, and Phallouis must be retaken!
Outnumbered and low on supplies, the Central powers have utilized the chaos caused by constant bombardment and troop losses to infiltrate a number of their own men into the Allied chain of command. It isn't known how many battalions are loyal to the Kaiser, but Allied command has issued orders to all officers to beware and watch their fellow men for signs of treason. Despite this treachery, the Allies must win out. In ten days the Central lines will be reinforced, creating a stalemate that may last for years. By blood and valour the Hun must be driven out, and Phallouis must be retaken!
What is a Phalla?
Phalla Master Thread
That link leads to the best basic description of the game. As this game follows many of the basic ideas as Phalla Royalle, it may also be helpful to read up on the two iterations of that game as well. The first version of the game can be found Here.
A few basic rules: Do not contact any player anonymously. This has been an issue recently so let me clarify. If you are discussing the game with another player, and either one of you is unable to determine the other's identity, then you are breaking the rules.
Do not share role PMs. I have no problem with any player stating what their role is, but I do not want people posting verbatim what their role PM stated, or using screen caps or anything of that sort.
Participate. I have little tolerance for deadbeats, as it steals the fun for me and everyone else playing. I'm not going to set any posting quota, but if you are not sending in your actions each turn, you are going to be killed or replaced by someone who will.
Voting: Every turn the players will vote for the person they believe to be the traitorous dog in their midst. Command will send the person with the most votes charging at the enemy machine guns to use up their ammo. This will deal out 80% casualties of a units initial strength, and leave them stranded on the far side of the map. All votes should be bolded and in red like this !vote Robothero. Voting closes at 11PM EST, and vote deaths occur before all other actions.
Questions should be either PM'd to me, or asked in the game bolded and in orange like this Is it safe?
That link leads to the best basic description of the game. As this game follows many of the basic ideas as Phalla Royalle, it may also be helpful to read up on the two iterations of that game as well. The first version of the game can be found Here.
A few basic rules: Do not contact any player anonymously. This has been an issue recently so let me clarify. If you are discussing the game with another player, and either one of you is unable to determine the other's identity, then you are breaking the rules.
Do not share role PMs. I have no problem with any player stating what their role is, but I do not want people posting verbatim what their role PM stated, or using screen caps or anything of that sort.
Participate. I have little tolerance for deadbeats, as it steals the fun for me and everyone else playing. I'm not going to set any posting quota, but if you are not sending in your actions each turn, you are going to be killed or replaced by someone who will.
Voting: Every turn the players will vote for the person they believe to be the traitorous dog in their midst. Command will send the person with the most votes charging at the enemy machine guns to use up their ammo. This will deal out 80% casualties of a units initial strength, and leave them stranded on the far side of the map. All votes should be bolded and in red like this !vote Robothero. Voting closes at 11PM EST, and vote deaths occur before all other actions.
Questions should be either PM'd to me, or asked in the game bolded and in orange like this Is it safe?
Map!
I also drew up a text based version with the grid designations added. It's rough, but it should give you the general idea.
----A--B--C--D--E--F--G--H--I--J--K
0
L--1--1--1--1--2--1--2--1--1--1--1
M--1--1--1--1--2--1--2--1--1--1--1
N--4--4--3--3--5--5--4--5--3--4--4
O--6--6--4--4--4--8--8--4--9--9--4
P--6--6--7--7--7--8--8--4--9--9--4
Q--5--5--3--3--4--4--4--4--3--3--3
R--1--1--1--1--1--2--1--1--1--1--1
S--1--1--1--1--1--2--1--1--1--1--1
0
0 = Command Bunker - No casualties may be taken by artillery attacks here, and players may only be attacked by other units in the bunker. Only the General Staff and Majors are allowed to enter the Command Bunker, though enemy units may force their way in.
1 = Trench - 75% protection from units attempting to fire into the trenches, no protection from artillery. Adds 10% to kills for units firing out of the trenches.
2 = Trench w/ Machine Gun - Machine gun may fire up to 2 squares in front of it or one square to the diagonal left or right. Fire focused on one player will deal out 600 kills, indiscriminate fire at a zone will deal out 30% casualties to anyone in the area. Players may declare to use the machine gun along with a back up action, one declaring player will be selected randomly from this group.
3 = Barbed wire - Movement through barbed wire requires a full turn.
4 = No Man's Land - No bonuses or negatives.
5 = Minefield - Players moving through a minefield suffer 100 casualties. Players sprinting through a mine field suffer 200 casualties
6 = Crashed Plane - Wreckage of a plane, may hold useful intelligence or equipment
7 = Crash Trench - Shallow ditch dug by crashing plane, provides a 10% protection for units inside the trench
8 = Hill 382 - Large hill in the middle of no man's land. Units on one side may not shoot at units on the other side. Units moving across the hill suffer 10% more casualties
9 = Bombed out Church - Provides view of 2 squares in every direction. Bonus to sharpshooters.
Bonus Blarney version!
Actions
Every turn, each player may perform one of the following actions.
1. Aimed shot - By standing still and taking careful aim, the battalion is able to hit with great effect. Your unit remains stationary and may fire at any unit in the same area or any adjacent area. Your aiming grants you an additional 10% kill rate.
2. Fire and Move - Mobility is just as important as lethality. Your unit may fire at any unit in the same area or adjacent area, then move one square in any direction. Diagonal movement is not allowed. Normal kill rate applies.
3. Sprint - Better to get to cover before you start shooting. Your unit does not fire, but is able to move 4 squares. Diagonal movement is not allowed. Units firing at your men will deal an additional 10% casualties. You may not perform this action on consecutive turns.
4. Foxholes - Even a shallow pit it preferable to open ground. Your unit does not move and instead digs some temporary cover. This cover grants you a 15% reduction in losses for the turn. It does not protect you from artillery attacks.
5. March - You're not exhausting your men, but you are getting them to where they need to go. You may move 2 squares this turn, but you cannot attack anyone else.
All attacks occur at the same time unless otherwise stated. Movement always occurs after attacks. Abilities granted by gear may or may not require a full action, depending on the choice. PM me with your action every turn, or PM Ardor or Robothero if my inbox is full.
1. Aimed shot - By standing still and taking careful aim, the battalion is able to hit with great effect. Your unit remains stationary and may fire at any unit in the same area or any adjacent area. Your aiming grants you an additional 10% kill rate.
2. Fire and Move - Mobility is just as important as lethality. Your unit may fire at any unit in the same area or adjacent area, then move one square in any direction. Diagonal movement is not allowed. Normal kill rate applies.
3. Sprint - Better to get to cover before you start shooting. Your unit does not fire, but is able to move 4 squares. Diagonal movement is not allowed. Units firing at your men will deal an additional 10% casualties. You may not perform this action on consecutive turns.
4. Foxholes - Even a shallow pit it preferable to open ground. Your unit does not move and instead digs some temporary cover. This cover grants you a 15% reduction in losses for the turn. It does not protect you from artillery attacks.
5. March - You're not exhausting your men, but you are getting them to where they need to go. You may move 2 squares this turn, but you cannot attack anyone else.
All attacks occur at the same time unless otherwise stated. Movement always occurs after attacks. Abilities granted by gear may or may not require a full action, depending on the choice. PM me with your action every turn, or PM Ardor or Robothero if my inbox is full.
Attacks
Any player may attack any other within range without restrictions, unless terrain or an action prevents it. It stands to reason that 500 men cannot kill as well as 1000. Thus, when your unit has suffered 50% total losses, you will only be able to deal 50% of your initial combat effectiveness. To make things simple (ha!) I will only make the one reduction in kills. So if your 1000 men can deal out 400 kills per turn, when you have 500 or fewer men, you may only deal out 200.
Equipment
The majority of the players will be given a choice of equipment. All players will have the option to choose from the universal equipment list (bayonets, grenades, smoke bombs, and gas masks), along with one additional choice based on your nationality. These choices will be listed in your role PM. If you don't receive a list of choices, you don't get one, so don't ask. Select one of the options and PM me with this selection, and the region of the trenches that you would like to begin at. The equipment selection will give you an additional ability, and may alter the number of men under your command.
Regiments
Each player commands a Battalion of men, with most consisting of 1000 men. All players will be grouped into 3 player Regiments. A regiment is not required to act as one, but they must remain within one map unit of each other, unless orders from the General Staff supersede this. This means that no regiment may be spread out over more then 3 connected units of the map. The central infiltrators may or may not follow the same restrictions, I'm not telling.
Deaths
As a successful attack may not mean that a player is completely out, I can't announce player identities when they suffer losses. Instead, each narration will have two lists. One list will show which players lost men, while the other will show which units lost men. Exact numbers will not be listed Here's an example:
Robothero has suffered losses
CJ Iwakura has suffered losses
Psycholarry1 has suffered losses
Members of the Royal Canadian Mounties were found dead
A number of Mexican Bandits were found dead
Members of the Rolling Stones were found dead
Robothero has suffered losses
CJ Iwakura has suffered losses
Psycholarry1 has suffered losses
Members of the Royal Canadian Mounties were found dead
A number of Mexican Bandits were found dead
Members of the Rolling Stones were found dead
I will accept as many people as are willing to play the game, though it is designed for around 60 players. The game will begin on monday, and will last 10 days or fewer.
Players
1. B:L
2. Telcus
3. Obbi - Wiped Out
4. Ultarune - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
5. Nion - Wiped Out
6. Mr. Embarkation
7. Typhus733 - Wiped Out
8. Romantic Undead - Wiped Out
9. Frost Mist
10. Oatway - Wiped Out
11. Saburbia - Hahahahaha Wipe Out (Drum Solo)
12. DasUberEdwards
13. Jdarksun
14. Precisionk
15. Quoth
16. Whod - Wiped Out by Loony Larry Ford's Crazy Savings!
17. Squashua
18. Mrpaku
19. Thorgot
20. James - Wiped Out
21. Gumpy - wiped out
22. Maximus - Trench Foot (Withdrew)
23. Varcayn - Wiped Out
24. Inglorious Coyote - Trench Foot (Inactivity removal)
25. El Skid
26. Corp. Shepard
27. Burnage - Wiped Out
28. TheLawinator
29. Niceguy Myeye - Wiped Out
30. TehSpectre
31. FreeAgent - Wiped Out
32. Trust
34. Stew_Stick - Like a scribble on a white board, he is Wiped Out
35. Lovelyahava - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
36. Thorpe
37. Qorzm - Wiped Out
38. Zanmatto - Trench Foot (Removed for Inactivity)
39. iamtheaznman - Wiped Out
40. delroland
41. Frosteey
42. Savant - Wiped Out
43. Cheez - Unknown Soldier (withdrew)
44. PsychoCucumber
45. Seriously - 3 Strikes, You're Wiped out!
46. Koan - Wiped Out
47. Meister - Wiped Out
48. Pretentious
49. Aegis
50. Grundlterror - Wiped Out
51. Aldo
52. MrBlarney - Wiped Out
Round 0 Narration
Narration 2 and results for turns 1 and 2
Narration 3
Narration 4
Narration 5
Results Turn 6
Narration 7
PsychoLarry1 on
0
Posts
(As DA showed, anyone wishing to play should sign up using a bold and lime message)
Steam
Can I play the part of the ambiguously gay soldier?
Fucking Home Test
You have combined some of my favorite things and that is my favorite poem.
NNID: Hakkekage
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
YEAH FUCK YEAH HIT THE TRENCHES BOYS WHOOO!
sign up
Edit - meant unit, and will we have choices. Obviously i'll find out when it's posted I am just being curious.
Steam
Death pursues the man who flees,
spares not the hamstrings or cowardly backs
Of battle-shy youths
I reluctantly sign up, I tend to spend too much time on phallas when I'm playing.
If you're taking reserves, could you please sign me up for that, instead?
!sign up
Let's kill some bitches.
Jdark, no trenchfoot mechanics, and you aren't able to be Gabriel Gates in this one. Sorry.
Let me get back to you on that.
(I wish to invite someone new, but I won't be able to contact them until tomorrow afternoon...)
This, but replace writing with cartographing. Beyond that, it's a mystery to me.
Durax: Game will begin on monday, so you've got a good amount of time before sign-ups close.
Edit: Can I be Winston Churchill? I'll brush up on my boozing and speech-making.
Edit 2: Oh, WWI... um, yeah.
Squashua's in Coral Springs too.
Florida's taking the Phalla community by storm.
Thanks, but I think I'll have more fun watching. I'm up for hire as a freelance strategist, though.