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"Updating" classics, or: How to spin corpses in graves.
YaYa
......wanna fight?Registered User regular
......wanna fight?Registered User regular
So, I'm in a production of Anything Goes right now, a musical written around the 30's. It's held up surprisingly well. But the director has seen it fit to update it for a modern audience. An example.
Original
Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
Erma: The Yellow Pages.
It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.
Updated
Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!
That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.
So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
Original
Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he find a name like that?
Erma: The Yellow Pages.
It's not great, but it's okay. Might get a chuckle or two.
Updated
Billy: Murray Hill Flowers? Where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?
Erma: No, the internet of course, he Googled it!
That may be the most awkward attempt at humour I've ever heard.
So post about shitty updates/remakes in here.
YaYa on
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But generally any remake except for those that aren't awful.
Dont mess with perfection. The film is still great.
Battlestar Galactica classic was terrible.
Battlestar Galactica updated is incredible.
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fucking sticking Google in it to make it contemporary, grahhhh
I know, right?
I literally took the assistant director aside and said to her "If you get that line cut out of the script, I will give you 100 dollars right now.
This second one has sucked ass.
I hope they don't to a prequel.
Did she go for it?
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She said she couldn't do anything about it.
Edit: Oh God, guys, it gets so much worse.
They throw out all these famous names, but of course they needed to be updated too.
So now instead of...I think it was Greta Garbo? Not being able to sail on the ship, it's now Britney Spears.
There's not even a punchline, they've just changed a lot of names.
all through the night
The Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers
Horton Hears a Who starring the Boss from the Office
What is Dr. Suess's estate not filthily rich enough?
On the other hand the recent Rambo and Die Hard sequels were pretty good.
cause puff daddy does not need to be doing things
horton hears a who isn't even out yet
That doesn't stop it from being shitty.
maybe he's a google shill
all of the voice actors are good
i don't see why you're hating on it sight unseen
Then replace it with "Google"
I don't think it's so much the guy's a google shill as it's that he's such a shitty writer that he can't even rewrite something somebody else already wrote.
Not only that, half the cast facepalm's whenever that line comes up and he is either completely oblivious or convinced that we're in the wrong.
School production, dude.
If you don't know, directors of those things think they are Gods of the theater, and dissent in the ranks shall not be tolerated. I'd really love to, but...
I think the line would work better "where'd he get a name like that, the Yellow Pages?" "Google'd it." Not that it helps that much.
I don't think your director has any idea what s/he's doing. You should stage an intervention, with the whole cast. Like get together with some pizza and sit in a circle. Either that or get out while you still can.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_%282008_film%29
then i saw who was going to be in it
then i cried
but
klaatu fuck
It'd be even better if he answered with "There's no time for your asinine curiosities, I have SARS. And it just might make me late for work."
well jennifer connely and kathy bates are both excellent
but goddamn keanu
goddamnit hollywood
or worse, go totally overboard on the political commentary over iraq.
I know the first one did that but it did it with subtlety and style. i can see this one being annoyingly patriotic and superficial.
like the scene in fucking volcano. 'they all look the same daddy' oh my god.
So instead of a brief, minorly amusing joke, he put in a long awkward unfunny one, and made the setup line more unwieldy. Aces.
If you think there is there something wrong with Jennifer Connelly we will need to have words together, friend
GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT
SCREW YOU, KEANU REEVES! FUCK YOU!