A friend of mine recently went to Ihop in celebration of the new movie based on Dr. Seuss' story "Horton Hears a Who."
This is his story:
"Me and my friends decided that we had to try this stuff at ihop ( www.ihop.com
to see the Dr. Seuss items.)
There are three items for this "Horton Hears a Who" movie.
Green Eggs and Ham
On our way in, my friend Alex commented, "God, I can already feel my tear ducts salivating." Little did we realize he would be completely correct.
We sat, and when the waitress approached and asked what we wanted, the four of us sang, "Candy paaancaaakes!" (see: Candy Mountain), and she gave us the most pitied look.
Green Eggs and Ham is pretty normal.
The jello soda, was actually pretty damn good, for jello cubes in soda.
Then, candy pancakes. We were so excited. These are pancakes with chocolate and candy pieces inside, impaled on a lollipop, and drizzled with opaque blueberry and boisenberry syrup.
Somewhere, Alex has a photo of Larry's last moment of happiness -- the moment before he ate the first pancake.
It was terrible. It's like sugar cane kicked me in the balls, burned my house down, and raped my dog. We were gagging and screaming bloody murder in the restaurant, but nobody seemed to mind... we were heroes, fighting a war of pancakes. But we had to continue. Larry started crying, and every time Louis looked at his face, he began to dry heave. I had to run to the bathroom at one point because I was laughing so hard, and I couldn't swallow the pancake, so it began to moisten in the back of my gullet, intensifying in taste.
As I sat back down at the table, Larry, desperately reached for the jello soda which had once been so good to us, and took a large gulp. Then he screamed, "OH GOD, CANDY PANCAKES, IT'S LIKE YOU FOLLOWED ME HOME." Me, being stupid, and desperately wanting the taste of candy pancakes gone, also took a swig. It was like sugar cane had barred me from leaving my burning house, and had raped me up the butt in my final moments. I ran to the bathroom and puked in a toilet. Halfway through throwing up, Louis ran into the bathroom and shouted after me, "CANDY PAAANCAAAKES, MIKE! CANDY PAAANCAAAKES!"
The restaurant at this point was in riot because of us, mostly in laughter. Larry was still crying somewhere between sugar cane rape and laughter when I got back out. We paid for our meal, left a thirty dollar tip for the waitress and retreated."
so, SE++, what kind of horrible experiences have you had with disgusting food?