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this morning can kiss my ass
KnobTURN THE BEAT BACKInternetSuper Moderator, Moderatormod
so i'm laying in bed last night, not sleeping well because it's hot as hell and i'm grouchy because i have to work at 5am
i look at the clock and it's a quarter after 2. i'm thirsty. so i grab the bottle of water i keep on my nightstand and start chugging
it isn't until i've got half of it put away that i realize it tastes funny. kinda like cologne. smells strange, too
so i wake up the girlfriend and ask, 'what the hell is this?'
and she says 'smells like the all-purpose cleaner. i was cleaning in here earlier'
so i sprint to the bathroom and forcibly eject everything i've eaten in the last four years, then call poison control. they immediately tell me that puking was a terrible idea, because if the shit causes chemical burns in my throat, i just exposed it twice
the nice lady tells me not to worry, to drink a glass of milk and stay up for a few hours and call back if my throat starts burning or i start puking involuntarily
so i been sitting here for the last 4 hours, exhausted as hell, feeling like shit, but apparently i'm not going to die, so that's a plus
bonus: calling into work. 'yeah, i'm not going to be in today. i don't feel well, i been drinking cleaning products all night.'