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Terrible Sex

1246764

Posts

  • JoonJoon Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Are most of the people doing it outside doing it there for fun or because they don't have a suitable bed to do it in?

    Joon on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I was there 'cus we had nowhere else to go.

    Fandyien on
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  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    Well the thing is, I am starting to think that maybe I'm not a nice girl
    cause the nice ones are all weepy and mushy and want to hold hands and cuddle
    and I just wanna fucking play my video games and not be touched unless it's to have sex when I fucking feel like it so get away from me you whiny douches.

    do you see what I mean?
    I'm not a nice girl :( :(
    how do I remedy this?
    first thing I should do is stop hanging around the internet so much.
    maaaaaan
    don't worry about being a "nice" girl

    Druhim on
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  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I've only ever liked girls who veiled their attraction to me with contempt

    Skull Man on
  • StoverStover Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    I've only ever liked girls who veiled their attraction to me with contempt

    Hillary Clinton.

    Stover on
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  • ComahawkComahawk Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Joon wrote: »
    Are most of the people doing it outside doing it there for fun or because they don't have a suitable bed to do it in?

    I'd say it is probably 50/50... Some people like the rush and others are high school kids I guess.

    Comahawk on
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  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Comahawk wrote: »
    Joon wrote: »
    Are most of the people doing it outside doing it there for fun or because they don't have a suitable bed to do it in?

    I'd say it is probably 50/50... Some people like the rush and others are high school kids I guess.

    it's a thrill
    good way to spice it up if it's getting stale

    beavotron on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Waka Laka wrote: »
    Seriously embarrasing.

    Ouch Waka, that sucks. I would feel horrible if I accidentally mentally-scarred a couple of toddlers.
    To be fair though, the older gentleman probably should not have left a 5 and 7 year-old unattended just because he was having a nic-fit. At the very least he should have let you know the kids were there. That's just bad roommate etiquette, really.

    TankHammer on
    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | 2zivq6q.jpg
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  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    one time i was having sex and her husband walked in lol awkward ...

    Bibble on
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  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    one time i was having sex and her husband walked in lol awkward ...

    hahah oh bibble you are such a card.

    beavotron on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    Well the thing is, I am starting to think that maybe I'm not a nice girl
    cause the nice ones are all weepy and mushy and want to hold hands and cuddle
    and I just wanna fucking play my video games and not be touched unless it's to have sex when I fucking feel like it so get away from me you whiny douches.

    do you see what I mean?
    I'm not a nice girl :( :(
    how do I remedy this?
    first thing I should do is stop hanging around the internet so much.
    maaaaaan
    don't worry about being a "nice" girl

    Sarah's old roommate allegedly used to bring guys home all the time for one-night stands. After sex she'd go "high five!" and proceed to high-five them. After which she'd say "Now get out of here!"
    "No I'm serious, I'm gonna get some sleep. I'll lock the door behind you on your way out."


    She was hilarious. She once brought this poor doe-eyed sailor boy home. He couldn't have been more than 18 or 19. For reference she's 23. She commented that he wasn't great but he made up for it with enthusiasm. Her bed was a good foot or two from the wall the next morning. She tried to keep his sailor hat by hiding it in the freezer but he found it before leaving.

    TankHammer on
    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | 2zivq6q.jpg
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    one time i was having sex and her wife walked in lol awkward ...

    Metzger Meister on
  • Skull ManSkull Man Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    one time i was having sex and her husband walked in lol awkward ...

    Skull Man on
  • Jukebox HeroJukebox Hero Registered User
    edited August 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    Well the thing is, I am starting to think that maybe I'm not a nice girl
    cause the nice ones are all weepy and mushy and want to hold hands and cuddle
    and I just wanna fucking play my video games and not be touched unless it's to have sex when I fucking feel like it so get away from me you whiny douches.

    do you see what I mean?
    I'm not a nice girl :( :(
    how do I remedy this?
    first thing I should do is stop hanging around the internet so much.

    I want to impregnate you and give birth to little devil children who have anger/anxiety issues and waste their life on the video games that raised me.

    x3643.jpg

    Jukebox Hero on
  • ZombotZombot Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Worst scan ever.

    Zombot on
    Zombot wrote: »
    I once went down on a girl who had a bit of smeckle on her tuckus hole.
    It was kinda hard telling her she needs to wipe better.
    Don't worry, you were doing her a mitzvah. Oy, I could just kvetch thinking about it.
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    scarlet st. on
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  • Jukebox HeroJukebox Hero Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Zombot wrote: »
    Worst scan ever.

    Looked better where I found it, but the messaeg is conveyed.

    Jukebox Hero on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    crwth on
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  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    scarlet st. on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    isn't that fairly common? someone else on the forums who lived or was in japan for a while said that it's not uncommon for them to say "no" while not meaning it, which tends to throw off foreigners.

    Metzger Meister on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My most-outrageous sex-story (that I'm willing to tell anywhere people I know might read it) is the time Sarah and I were at her parent's cabin, swimming in their pool at night. We got frisky and decided to try having sex int he pool. I had her against the wall and was kissing her when I noticed her parents come to the livingroom window. I played it off like they just caught us making out, going so far as to wave to them. Sarah, facing the other way and unaware of what was going on until I told her once the parents had walked away.

    TankHammer on
    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | 2zivq6q.jpg
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  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    isn't that fairly common? someone else on the forums who lived or was in japan for a while said that it's not uncommon for them to say "no" while not meaning it, which tends to throw off foreigners.

    Haha what

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    isn't that fairly common? someone else on the forums who lived or was in japan for a while said that it's not uncommon for them to say "no" while not meaning it, which tends to throw off foreigners.

    Oh, that was the story I told, but this was different. She cried silently and it took me a little bit to realize it.

    scarlet st. on
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  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My most-outrageous sex-story (that I'm willing to tell anywhere people I know might read it) is the time Sarah and I were at her parent's cabin, swimming in their pool at night. We got frisky and decided to try having sex int he pool. I had her against the wall and was kissing her when I noticed her parents come to the livingroom window. I played it off like they just caught us making out, going so far as to wave to them. Sarah, facing the other way and unaware of what was going on until I told her once the parents had walked away.

    Yes I remember you telling us about this one once hahaha top job :^:

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    isn't that fairly common? someone else on the forums who lived or was in japan for a while said that it's not uncommon for them to say "no" while not meaning it, which tends to throw off foreigners.

    Haha what

    As the story goes, Japan has a pretty weird rapeculture.

    My buddy was studying abroad the summer before I went to Japan and when he got back he was telling me about this girl he slept with who, sometime during sex, cried out "yamete" which means "stop it".
    So he stops and asks if she's alright or if she's hurt or something, and she looks at him all confused and says "why'd you stop?"

    scarlet st. on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My most-outrageous sex-story (that I'm willing to tell anywhere people I know might read it) is the time Sarah and I were at her parent's cabin, swimming in their pool at night. We got frisky and decided to try having sex int he pool. I had her against the wall and was kissing her when I noticed her parents come to the livingroom window. I played it off like they just caught us making out, going so far as to wave to them. Sarah, facing the other way and unaware of what was going on until I told her once the parents had walked away.

    Yes I remember you telling us about this one once hahaha top job :^:

    "Oh, hey Ted. Nope, just parting your daughter's flappy meat-curtains with my throbbing jizz-rocket. Yup... Yup, plowing her clam-field. Yeah, tee time is at 8 tomorrow. Yeah, we'll see! You'll be in the bunker so long you might as well bring a beach towel! Aaahaha... anyway... unf unf unf."

    Metzger Meister on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    crwth wrote: »
    This girl in Japan started crying towards the end. It was really unsettling.

    maybe she was just really happy

    It really threw me off and I couldn't finish.

    isn't that fairly common? someone else on the forums who lived or was in japan for a while said that it's not uncommon for them to say "no" while not meaning it, which tends to throw off foreigners.

    Haha what

    As the story goes, Japan has a pretty weird rapeculture.

    My buddy was studying abroad the summer before I went to Japan and when he got back he was telling me about this girl he slept with who, sometime during sex, cried out "yamete" which means "stop it".
    So he stops and asks if she's alright or if she's hurt or something, and she looks at him all confused and says "why'd you stop?"

    Yeah I've heard vague stories about this, but I never paid it much attention, seemed too far-fetched.

    Geez what the hell. So they get off over rape fantasies basically? So how does real rape go down there?

    "oh no your honour, I didn't know I was raping her, I thought it was just the sounds she usually makes"

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The guy who rapes the most women in a year gets a special medal.

    Metzger Meister on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The guy who rapes the most women in a year gets a special medal.

    i am going to become the michael phelps of rape

    crwth on
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  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    It is a rape-medal, which entitles him to a certain amount of free rapings thereafter.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    It is a rape-medal, which entitles him to a certain amount of free rapings thereafter.

    It's like a gift certificate to Red Lobster.


    But with rape.

    And no delicious Bisquick biscuits.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    But in all seriousness, wouldn't such a culture seriously promote the idea that rape is not just sexually arousing, but a good thing?

    To make a sweeping generalisation here, Japanese are pretty dirty perverts.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    But in all seriousness, wouldn't such a culture seriously promote the idea that rape is not just sexually arousing, but a good thing?

    To make a sweeping generalisation here, Japanese are pretty dirty perverts.

    if this is the incident that caused you to make this realization, you clearly have not seen what we like to call the internet.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Jukebox HeroJukebox Hero Registered User
    edited August 2008
    I was personally devistated by the 1993 banning of selling teenage girls panties in vending machines. Since that time I've amassed literally thousands of dollars worth of loose change.

    And this would be true if I were Japanese.

    Jukebox Hero on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I think a girl once slipped me roofies

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    But in all seriousness, wouldn't such a culture seriously promote the idea that rape is not just sexually arousing, but a good thing?

    To make a sweeping generalisation here, Japanese are pretty dirty perverts.

    if this is the incident that caused you to make this realization, you clearly have not seen what we like to call the internet.

    No, but this has definitely helped me confirm that opinion.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My sex cannot be good or bad until I actually have some and the wave function collapses
    Or rather, it is both good and bad until that time
    It's like Schrodinger's Cat, but with the other kind of pussy

    Grey Ghost on
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    PSN: GrahamCR | NNID: ProjectGR | 3DS Friend Code: 4399-2068-5090 | Twitter
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I have actually forgotten how it was to be a virgin

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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  • CasperCasper __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    I have not had sex since Feb 07.

    I think this makes me a born again virgin.

    Casper on
  • zimfanzimfan Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Casper wrote: »
    I have not had sex since Feb 07.

    I think this makes me a born again virgin.

    nah, just lame

    zimfan on
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This discussion has been closed.