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Depressing truths no. 9874:

ben0207ben0207 Registered User regular
edited September 2008 in Games and Technology
Ubisoft's Wii / DS lineup:
http://www.cubed3.com/news/10670
  • Imagine Fashion Model (DS) - 19/09/08
  • My Secret World by Imagine (DS) - 19/09/08
  • Imagine Modern Dancer (DS) - 19/09/08
  • Imagine Baby Clube (DS) - 19/09/08
  • Brothers in Arms Double Time (Wii) - 26/09/08
  • Hell's Kitchen (DS) - 26/09/08
  • Puzzler Collection (Wii) - 31/10/08
  • Imagine Figure Skating (DS) - October 2008
  • Imagine Champion Rider (DS) - October 2008
  • Imagine Champion Rider (Wii) - October 2008
  • Planet Rescue: Wildlife Vet (Wii) - November 2008
  • Planet Rescue: Animal Emergency (DS) - November 2008
  • Planet Rescue: Endangered Island (DS) - November 2008
  • Planet Rescue: Ocean Patrol (DS) - November 2008
  • Sam Power: Fire Fighter (DS) - November 2008
  • Sam Power: Policeman (DS) - November 2008
  • Sam Power: Handy Man (DS) - November 2008
  • Imagine Gymnast (DS) - November 2008
  • Imagine Interior Designer (DS) - November 2008
  • Petz: Monkey Madness (Wii) - November 2008
  • Hell's Kitchen (Wii) - November 2008
  • Dinosaurz: Combat of Giants (DS) - Autumn 2008
  • Babies Party (Wii) - Autumn 2008
  • Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking (DS) - Autumn 2008
  • Petz Sports: Dog Playground (Wii) - Autumn 2008
  • Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party (DS) - Autumn 2008
  • Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party (Wii) - Autumn 2008
  • Shaun White Snowboarding (Wii) - Autumn 2008
  • Prince of Persia: The Fallen King (DS) - Q3 2008

ben0207 on
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Posts

  • DusdaDusda is ashamed of this post Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
  • PeewiPeewi Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Ubisoft. Because someone gotta make all that shovelware.

    Wii U: Peevvi || 3DS code: 3480-2527-9521
    steam_sig.png
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    ''Dinosaurz: Combat of Giants (DS) - Autumn 2008''? Hellz yeahz!

    Will the wii version of Hell's Kitchen feature waggle for maximum skillet control?

    This post was sponsored by LG.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
  • StopAndSwishStopAndSwish Registered User
    edited September 2008
    Sam Power - A retired Serious Sam?

  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Oh God. That was actually painful to read.

    Is Hell's Kitchen going to be the assumed reality TV tie-in or a gangster (or city) management sim based on the eponymous area of NYC?

  • DusdaDusda is ashamed of this post Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
  • DusdaDusda is ashamed of this post Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yea, that about sums it up.

    and this sig. and this blog..
  • DusT_HounDDusT_HounD Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    question:
    who buys this shit?
    can we find them?
    will we be able to convince them to stop?

  • DyvionDyvion Glorious Okinawa, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dusda wrote: »
    Yea, that about sums it up.

    Steam: No Safety In Life -- League of Legends: Dyvion -- PSN: Dyvion -- Gamecenter on ithingers: Dyvion
    Mechwarrior Online: Dyvion -- Hearthstone: Dyvion#1716 -- Hex: FortyTwo
    "XBLIG: It's like the video game equivalent of a candy bar." -Hatedinamerica
  • VeegeezeeVeegeezee Registered User
    edited September 2008
  • major_tommajor_tom Registered User
    edited September 2008
    Normally, when faced with lists like this, I try to be all laissez-faire about it, and just calmly inform people that they're under no obligation to buy these games, so why the hell should they care?

    Then I remember that these things clutter up the fucking DS and Wii sections in shops so badly (especially the preowned, oh god) that I often literally cannot find the game I wanted beneath the mountains of crap. I mean, these games pose a serious logistical problem to me. Especially when shops insist on putting all the stuff I might actually want right at the back.

    I now have this mental image of myself, crushed under a mountain of imagine(tm) games, completely buried, with only my right arm emerging from the pile, with the copy of Rocket Slime I was after clutched in my outstretched, twitching hand.

    I think i'm going to invest in an actual shovel.

    This is what i get for caring about gamercards...
  • LewiePLewieP Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    We need an "Imagine" photoshop thread.

  • ben0207ben0207 Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    LewieP wrote: »
    We need an "Imagine" photoshop thread.
    I second this idea.

  • MorninglordMorninglord Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    major_tom wrote: »
    Normally, when faced with lists like this, I try to be all laissez-faire about it, and just calmly inform people that they're under no obligation to buy these games, so why the hell should they care?

    Then I remember that these things clutter up the fucking DS and Wii sections in shops so badly (especially the preowned, oh god) that I often literally cannot find the game I wanted beneath the mountains of crap. I mean, these games pose a serious logistical problem to me. Especially when shops insist on putting all the stuff I might actually want right at the back.

    I now have this mental image of myself, crushed under a mountain of imagine(tm) games, completely buried, with only my right arm emerging from the pile, with the copy of Rocket Slime I was after clutched in my outstretched, twitching hand.

    I think i'm going to invest in an imagine!(tm) shovel.

    Location: Sydney, Australia
    My Dark Souls 2 Diary Day 6 and 7 Updated
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
  • freelancepolicefreelancepolice Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Oh God. That was actually painful to read.

    Is Hell's Kitchen going to be the assumed reality TV tie-in or a gangster (or city) management sim based on the eponymous area of NYC?

    Pretty sure it's a diner dash clone

    steam_sig.png
  • AntihippyAntihippy Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    LewieP wrote: »
    We need an "Imagine" photoshop thread.

    Oh man, I though there for a minute that you were talking about an Imagine Photoshop game.

    I would actually buy that. :(

    10454_nujabes2.pngPSN: Antiwhippy
  • DyvionDyvion Glorious Okinawa, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Antihippy wrote: »
    LewieP wrote: »
    We need an "Imagine" photoshop thread.

    Oh man, I though there for a minute that you were talking about an Imagine Photoshop game.

    I would actually buy that. :(

    20070822.jpg

    Steam: No Safety In Life -- League of Legends: Dyvion -- PSN: Dyvion -- Gamecenter on ithingers: Dyvion
    Mechwarrior Online: Dyvion -- Hearthstone: Dyvion#1716 -- Hex: FortyTwo
    "XBLIG: It's like the video game equivalent of a candy bar." -Hatedinamerica
  • Metal Gear Solid 2 DemoMetal Gear Solid 2 Demo Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    To sum up the DS

    12729.jpg

    Spoiler:
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    ben0207 wrote: »
    LewieP wrote: »
    We need an "Imagine" photoshop thread.
    I second this idea.

    I like how they're called Imagine but then all their titles are fairly mundane affairs. Imagine Walk to the Shops, Imagine Watching TV, Imagine Toast and Margarine for Breakfast.

  • Nihilistic LemonNihilistic Lemon Registered User
    edited September 2008
    If this means Ubisoft makes more money, I am all for it. Let the poor suckers/casual gamers(joking) pay for more AAA games from Ubi.

  • SeolSeol Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    If this means Ubisoft makes more money, I am all for it. Let the poor suckers/casual gamers(joking) pay for more AAA games from Ubi.
    Why make AAA games, which are risky and expensive to develop, when you can sell plenty with games that cost next to zero to develop?

  • DyvionDyvion Glorious Okinawa, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Seol wrote: »
    If this means Ubisoft makes more money, I am all for it. Let the poor suckers/casual gamers(joking) pay for more AAA games from Ubi.
    Why make AAA games, which are risky and expensive to develop, when you can sell plenty with games that cost childrens souls to develop?

    Fixed.

    Steam: No Safety In Life -- League of Legends: Dyvion -- PSN: Dyvion -- Gamecenter on ithingers: Dyvion
    Mechwarrior Online: Dyvion -- Hearthstone: Dyvion#1716 -- Hex: FortyTwo
    "XBLIG: It's like the video game equivalent of a candy bar." -Hatedinamerica
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.

  • GraviijaGraviija Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    rvcontre78 wrote:
    This game is all about the racism. I hate to think about all the backlash that will be involved but the truth must be told. The truth about a man who kills people by dropping them from his crane. Political correctness be damned. Damned to the max.
  • ArminasArminas Student of Life Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Man, screw you guys, I'm EXCITED for Planet Rescue: Animal Emergency (DS) - November 2008


    Wait wait, maybe Brothers in Arms Double Time (Wii) - 26/09/08 will be good?

  • DyvionDyvion Glorious Okinawa, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    I was under the impression AAA titles fund AAA titles. Mostly because anything that is a AAA title anymore is a sequal to something that ended up being a AAA title.

    There are very few AAA titles coming out soon that are not sequals... only things I can think of off the top of my head are Mirror's Edge and...

    e: Spore doesn't count because it didn't cost a bajillion dollars to make.

    Steam: No Safety In Life -- League of Legends: Dyvion -- PSN: Dyvion -- Gamecenter on ithingers: Dyvion
    Mechwarrior Online: Dyvion -- Hearthstone: Dyvion#1716 -- Hex: FortyTwo
    "XBLIG: It's like the video game equivalent of a candy bar." -Hatedinamerica
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dyvion wrote: »
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    I was under the impression AAA titles fund AAA titles. Mostly because anything that is a AAA title anymore is a sequal to something that ended up being a AAA title.

    There are very few AAA titles coming out soon that are not sequals... only things I can think of off the top of my head are Mirror's Edge and...

    They sell more copies of this shovelware than they sell of AAA titles, and these games cost much less to create. So, obviously, they're making money with this. Money then re-invested somewhere else.

  • Nihilistic LemonNihilistic Lemon Registered User
    edited September 2008
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    Far Cry 2 is AAA and the PC version is likely to be a tad better.

    @Dyvion I think Spore must have cost EA quite a lot seeing it has been in development for ages.

  • LewiePLewieP Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Arminas wrote: »
    Wait wait, maybe Brothers in Arms Double Time (Wii) - 26/09/08 will be good?

    From my understanding, it's a waggleport of the first two games.

  • DyvionDyvion Glorious Okinawa, JapanRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    Far Cry 2 is AAA and the PC version is likely to be a tad better.

    @Dyvion I think Spore must have cost EA quite a lot seeing it has been in development for ages.

    I can't find any concrete numbers, but there's a vague reference on Wikipedia from '06 about it being projected to cost 20 million. Which, while very large, they've probably already made back just on pre-orders and the Creature Creator. I'm not speaking for everyone here by any means, but I pre-ordered my copy in June. And from what I understand, most AAA titles recently have been around 50 million.

    But please take all this with a grain of salt, as I've been unable to locate any actual numbers... my work filters are teh suck.

    Steam: No Safety In Life -- League of Legends: Dyvion -- PSN: Dyvion -- Gamecenter on ithingers: Dyvion
    Mechwarrior Online: Dyvion -- Hearthstone: Dyvion#1716 -- Hex: FortyTwo
    "XBLIG: It's like the video game equivalent of a candy bar." -Hatedinamerica
  • TheGueroTheGuero Registered User
    edited September 2008
    major_tom wrote: »
    Normally, when faced with lists like this, I try to be all laissez-faire about it, and just calmly inform people that they're under no obligation to buy these games, so why the hell should they care?

    Then I remember that these things clutter up the fucking DS and Wii sections in shops so badly (especially the preowned, oh god) that I often literally cannot find the game I wanted beneath the mountains of crap. I mean, these games pose a serious logistical problem to me. Especially when shops insist on putting all the stuff I might actually want right at the back.

    I now have this mental image of myself, crushed under a mountain of imagine(tm) games, completely buried, with only my right arm emerging from the pile, with the copy of Rocket Slime I was after clutched in my outstretched, twitching hand.

    I think i'm going to invest in an actual shovel.

    Dramatic much? I understand where your coming from. But honestly, the clutter is not so bad that you cannot find your games. As a matter of fact, the only places that would honestly have that problem at all are places that you should not be buying games at anyway. Yeah, there's a bunch of shovelware. Alot of little girls and boys are going to buy these games and Ubisoft is going to make money. Also, Prince of Persia was on that list.

    To the guy that asked about Hell's Kitchen, I'm assuming that it will be a cooking game and not a gangster urban crime romp.

  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    TheGuero wrote: »
    To the guy that asked about Hell's Kitchen, I'm assuming that it will be a yelling at people and destroying every sense of self-worth they have game and not a gangster urban crime romp.

  • SeolSeol Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Djiem wrote: »
    Dyvion wrote: »
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.
    I was under the impression AAA titles fund AAA titles. Mostly because anything that is a AAA title anymore is a sequal to something that ended up being a AAA title.

    There are very few AAA titles coming out soon that are not sequals... only things I can think of off the top of my head are Mirror's Edge and...
    They sell more copies of this shovelware than they sell of AAA titles, and these games cost much less to create. So, obviously, they're making money with this. Money then re-invested somewhere else.
    Presumably, more likely to be reinvested in their most profitable lines of business.

  • GyralGyral Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    The truly depressing truth is that some of these games will probably sell better than your favorite niche game because they're on the two most popular platforms this generation.

    scornsig.jpg
  • major_tommajor_tom Registered User
    edited September 2008
    TheGuero wrote: »
    major_tom wrote: »
    Normally, when faced with lists like this, I try to be all laissez-faire about it, and just calmly inform people that they're under no obligation to buy these games, so why the hell should they care?

    Then I remember that these things clutter up the fucking DS and Wii sections in shops so badly (especially the preowned, oh god) that I often literally cannot find the game I wanted beneath the mountains of crap. I mean, these games pose a serious logistical problem to me. Especially when shops insist on putting all the stuff I might actually want right at the back.

    I now have this mental image of myself, crushed under a mountain of imagine(tm) games, completely buried, with only my right arm emerging from the pile, with the copy of Rocket Slime I was after clutched in my outstretched, twitching hand.

    I think i'm going to invest in an actual shovel.

    Dramatic much? I understand where your coming from. But honestly, the clutter is not so bad that you cannot find your games. As a matter of fact, the only places that would honestly have that problem at all are places that you should not be buying games at anyway. Yeah, there's a bunch of shovelware. Alot of little girls and boys are going to buy these games and Ubisoft is going to make money. Also, Prince of Persia was on that list.

    To the guy that asked about Hell's Kitchen, I'm assuming that it will be a cooking game and not a gangster urban crime romp.

    I won't lie, I may have been exaggerating a tiny bit. Just for larks, y'know.

    I don't know about where you are, but even the 'specialist' game stores do let the shelves get filled with this kind of junk. Especially the preowned section, as they're obliged to take any crap that comes in, and children not being the most discerning of consumers, love to trade in the games their parents bought them last week for peanuts.

    This is what i get for caring about gamercards...
  • Indica1Indica1 Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graviija wrote: »
    Djiem wrote: »
    This shovelware helps fund AAA titles.
    ...for the PS3 and 360.

    So in the end, we win!

    Or, at least, I win.

    Which, when you think about it, is what really matters.


    If the president had any real power, he'd be able to live wherever the fuck he wanted.
  • DaedalusDaedalus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I must be getting used to this, because I scanned that list and just mentally filtered out almost everything immediately.

    So, hey, what do we know about Prince of Persia: The Fallen King? Side-scrolling PoP for the DS? I could go for that.

    vvvvvv-dithw.png
  • -SPI--SPI- Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    The PoP ds game confuses me. Prince of persia started as a sidescroller, so one would assume the new ds game would resemble classic PoP except with a more acrobatic prince with a claw and a cool artstyle right? WRONG, it's a super cartoony platformer starring a hideous looking SD chibi abomination version of the new prince and gameplay that reminds me of every shitty mascot platformer of the snes era.

    8t2qhu8l050f.jpg
  • DaedalusDaedalus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    wait, chibi emo-Prince? That's hilarious.

    vvvvvv-dithw.png
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