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History Lesson: The Civil War

StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy!And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
edited November 2008 in Singularity Engine++
Today I am going to teach you uneducated bastards about the Civil War of the United States of America. As I'm sure you know, the United States was split in twain, with the Union States of the North fighting against the Confederate States of the South. While the main reason behind the war cited is the fight over slavery, there were several other factors in play as well, and in fact in many cases slavery could be considered just an excuse to get a good fight in.

The war began in 1861, and while there were numerous combats up until then, the war came upon a decisive change in 1863, when a group of paleontologists discovered a lost valley of the dinosaurs in Virginia. The Union forces harnessed the power of these primeval beasts and used them as their secret weapon against the South, a move that proved disastrous, as nobody is truly capable of controlling a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Tyrannosaurus_v_Union.jpg

Over_the_Maw.jpg

Raptor_Attack.jpg

Tricerotops_Tree.jpg

http://io9.com/5084491/the-alternate-history-theme-park-where-dinosaurs-fought-the-civil-war

Straightzi on
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Posts

  • SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    this topic made me smile

    Seph on
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  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    oh hey I actually care about the civil war now.

    Mysst on
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  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    They should have focused their efforts on plant eaters and have them stomp and trample the south.

    M.D. on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Don't forget about Skeletor leading the forces of the Dark Lord Sauron against Tony Stark at the battle of Gettysburg.

    Hunter on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I was ready to jump in and throw down some LEARNING.


    Instead, I found this thread to be full of fact and perfection.

    NotASenator on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    holy crap, those pictures are awesome. it just made my friday.

    i was all ready to talk about Colonel Angus too

    lostwords on
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    holy crap, those pictures are awesome. it just made my friday.

    i was all ready to talk about Colonel Angus too

    Colonel Angus also was a promoter for Dicken's Cider.

    He always said no woman should go to bed without a hot Dicken's Cider, and he was right.

    Hunter on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    Oh my god I want to see Dino Civil War: The Movie

    Me Too! on
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I like the camouflaged raptor.

    He's sneaky!

    Langly on
  • ascotascot Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Langly wrote: »
    I like the camouflaged raptor.

    He's sneaky!

    She's a...

    ...a...

    ...a..

    ...clever girl.

    ascot on
  • EinEin New Jersey, USARegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Hunter wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    holy crap, those pictures are awesome. it just made my friday.

    i was all ready to talk about Colonel Angus too

    Colonel Angus also was a promoter for Dicken's Cider.

    He always said no woman should go to bed without a hot Dicken's Cider, and he was right.

    I don't usually actually laugh out loud at things people post, but this got me.

    Ein on
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  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    young earth museum thread?

    ThatDudeOverThere on
  • Burden of ProofBurden of Proof You three boys picked a beautiful hill to die on. Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    they made a clone thor?!?

    Burden of Proof on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    You know, here in the former capitol of the confederacy we still use dinosaurs for everything

    Fandyien on
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  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? peach treesRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    they made a clone thor?!?

    God damn it I was going to make a comic joke

    Way to ruin it Burden

    Olivaw on
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  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I was ready to jump in and throw down some LEARNING.


    Instead, I found this thread to be full of fact and perfection.

    you and i were gonna break bad on these fools

    CrackedLens on
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  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I like how the second picture has a line-dancing olympic gymnast and a transvestite hula dancer

    gotta be inclusive

    ThatDudeOverThere on
  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Amazing

    Ringo on
    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    And of course, who could forget John Wilkes Booth fleeing the Ford's Theater on the back of a Velociraptor?

    DarkPrimus on
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  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    whoaaaaaaa

    Futore on
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  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    And of course, who could forget John Wilkes Booth fleeing the Ford's Theater on the back of a Velociraptor?

    Psshhhhhh no, there is only one true historical retelling of what happened to Wilkes Booth.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassins_(musical)

    Khavall on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus GRAND ATTACK!Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    the Gettysburg address was delivered from atop an armored Iguanadon

    Centipede Damascus on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Khavall wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    And of course, who could forget John Wilkes Booth fleeing the Ford's Theater on the back of a Velociraptor?

    Psshhhhhh no, there is only one true historical retelling of what happened to Wilkes Booth.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassins_(musical)

    this is my second favorite musical

    PiptheFair on
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  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Poor South will do anything to try and imagine the North lost.

    The Otaku Suppository on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Khavall wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    And of course, who could forget John Wilkes Booth fleeing the Ford's Theater on the back of a Velociraptor?

    Psshhhhhh no, there is only one true historical retelling of what happened to Wilkes Booth.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassins_(musical)

    I don't see anything in the synopsis contradicting what I said.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Khavall wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    And of course, who could forget John Wilkes Booth fleeing the Ford's Theater on the back of a Velociraptor?

    Psshhhhhh no, there is only one true historical retelling of what happened to Wilkes Booth.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassins_(musical)

    I don't see anything in the synopsis contradicting what I said.

    After Booth shot Lincoln there was a scene change and Booth sang an inspiring song about why he killed Lincoln while the Balladeer sung on about how he inspired a history of violence.

    Khavall on
  • FishmanFishman I'm Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Of course, the dino-valley would come in immensely useful again at the outbreak of The Great War of 1914, when German sympathisers managed to smuggle several eggs out of the United States, thus establishing their presence in the European Military establishment.

    They proved perhaps less effective during Hitler's lebensraum expansion, with the Polish 2nd mounted dino brigade being decimated in the face of advancing German armour, hopelessly outdated for the the rigours of modern warfare.

    Fishman on
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  • StraightziStraightzi I love thee, I'm charm'd by thy beauty, dear boy! And if thou'rt unwilling, then force I'll employ.Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    I was ready to jump in and throw down some LEARNING.


    Instead, I found this thread to be full of fact and perfection.

    you and i were gonna break bad on these fools

    I'm kinda disappointed that you guys were not assured of my history prowess

    It is my major

    Mostly English and European history, but still

    Straightzi on
  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme Shoes for industry! Shoes for the dead! Shoes for industry! Hi, I'm Joe BeatsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I am enthralled Straightzi, teach me more of the instance with dino-cloning.

    For with this knowledge, I will bring my own dinosaur army to life, and with it I will rule the galaxy!

    My plan is infallible!

    Jacques L'Homme on
  • JarofmoldymayoJarofmoldymayo __BANNED USERS
    edited November 2008
    Dinosaurs can't fly space ships.

    Jarofmoldymayo on
  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme Shoes for industry! Shoes for the dead! Shoes for industry! Hi, I'm Joe BeatsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I won't need dinosaurs to fly space ships.

    I will have enslaved all of you by this time.

    Jacques L'Homme on
  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    man you are really setting yourself up to be a tragic victim of your own hubris

    just sayin' man

    ThatDudeOverThere on
  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme Shoes for industry! Shoes for the dead! Shoes for industry! Hi, I'm Joe BeatsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    This is true.

    Upon reflection, no matter how much land I conquer, losing a series of appendages training an army of elite raptor commandoes still leaves me short.

    I'd best stop while I'm ahead.

    Jacques L'Homme on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus GRAND ATTACK!Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Dinosaurs can't fly space ships.

    rexinjetsxh2.jpg

    Centipede Damascus on
  • FishmanFishman I'm Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Yes, but unless I've been misinformed, F-14s aren't space-capable.

    Fishman on
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  • Meta T. DustMeta T. Dust Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Fishman wrote: »
    Yes, but unless I've been misinformed, F-14s aren't space-capable.

    BLAMTOWN

    Meta T. Dust on
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  • Agent CooperAgent Cooper Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    This is true.

    Upon reflection, no matter how much land I conquer, losing a series of appendages training an army of elite raptor commandoes still leaves me short.

    I'd best stop while I'm ahead.

    People will be prepared to deal with dinosaur commandos after Jurassic Park IV comes out anyway.

    Agent Cooper on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus GRAND ATTACK!Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fishman wrote: »
    Yes, but unless I've been misinformed, F-14s aren't space-capable.

    1198361101_target_Starscream.JPG

    Centipede Damascus on
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Dinosaurs in transformers. It's like the opposite of Power Rangers.

    Seriously on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    where the hell is this attraction

    I must know.

    Muggins on
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