Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it,
follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given
their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
Strange & Embarassing Moments: The Finer Points of Cunnilingus on a Chalkboard
Posts
"What do you mean you don't speak Sanskrit? Worst tattoo artist ever!"
I don't get the awkward part.
He had just gotten his penis back from the cleaners.
It's kind of like when you wash your car, and inevitably it rains. Clean your penis? "Please put it in my butt!"
Bitches love Sanskrit.
anyway, on to a moment that's more...strange than anything.
I go to a computer... nerdery... type technical college thing. Anyway, I bought a lab coat for part of a halloween costume, and I've been wearing it around ever since, as it is comfortable as shit. I also work as a bank teller, so I'm supposed to wear professional-ish clothes (collared button-down shirt, tie, dress pants, etc.) This, combined with the lab coat, I guess makes me look like some kinda scientist to some people.
Anyway, last night was the first night of classes for the new semester. Our instructor was running a bit late, and as I was walking to the classroom, the dean of the college stopped me in the hall, asked me what class I was in, and then led me to it. Apparently, my teacher is new to the college this semester, so he wouldn't know his way around the campus or whatever.
We get to the class, he tells everyone to quiet down, and then proceeds to tell the class that I am the new teacher. Everyone stares at me, and I don't know what the fuck. So we all sit there for a few moments, I tell him I'm a student. He asks me if I'm sure, I say yes, and then he leaves.
Then everyone continues to stare for a while, the real teacher walks in a few minutes later, and we all have a good laugh. Also we got free pizza, so hooray.
Amazon Wishlist for any secret santa hintings
Ashe Swiftclaw in Jdarksun's World's Largest Dungeon 4e Campaign
People respect a man who might do science at any moment.
Steam XBL PSN twitter Pokemon White: 1635-6745-4744 3DS 3437-3224-1694
Wow. I have never used IPA to describe anything other than the beer.
oh i do. sometimes. Subway gives you the BEST service if you're dressed like a scientist of some sort. Guy gave me a discount and shit. Was pretty sweet.
Also people get out of your way if you walk with a sorta speed walk. Man on a mission in a lab coat has the right of way
Amazon Wishlist for any secret santa hintings
Ashe Swiftclaw in Jdarksun's World's Largest Dungeon 4e Campaign
I was thinking "dude #1 what the fuck were you doing with a beer in the bathroom at work and #2 why did you pour it all over your pants?"
See how many books I've read so far in 2010
Um, something embarrassing...okay, my bed is a loft bed, and I managed to fall off it this morning at 7:30 AM while trying to retrieve my cell phone from the desk adjacent to the bed. I fail...and have a huge bruise on my leg where I hit my computer tower. Have no fear, the tower is okay. It was just one of those WTF?! moments.
Met a close friend of mine's extended family over Christmas break a few years ago. His step sister was really cool. Lots of similar interests. Books, music, movies, and she was well grounded.
Went and hung out with them on a Friday night. Got to know her pretty well. We chatted to ourselves pretty much the whole night. When I left she said, "Catch up with us later". I took that to mean, "Catch up with _me_ later". I mean, why not?
So, Saturday night and I'm hanging with my friend and we head to his parents house for a Christmas party. She's there, I say hello, and me, her, her step brother, and a few other people take the party out to the gazebo to get away from the parents and their friends.
In front of everyone I tell her she's really cool, and ask her for her number. Everyone falls silent.
"I'm married. There's my husband."
You know how it is. You try to play this stuff off. My friend's a little bastard. He knew I was keen on her and didn't pipe up. I apologized. Hell, didn't know. She appreciated the "compliment", and her husband didn't get jealous.
Regardless, epic fail. In front of at least a dozen people.
I've made a point of closing my curtains ever since.
dream a little dream or you could live a little dream
sleep forever if you wish to be a dreamer
lol. Awesome.
He must have thought that it would be artistic. Or that you were hot.
Are you hot?
One of my friends in college is from a far away land and lived a pretty sheltered life before coming to the US for school. During Christmas break freshman year he stays at my house for a few nights. Me, him, and a bunch of my back home friends go and take him around to different parts of town. We eventually get bored and wind up at a strip club. We watch a few girls dance and I notice my foreign friend kinda looking around nervously. He leans over and asks me "So when am I supposed to masturbate?"
My jaw drops. This kid thinks that not only is he allowed to do that in a strip club, but that he is supposed to. He might whip it out at any moment. I'm lucky he hasn't done it yet. I grab him and leave the club to explain to him that he is not allowed to do that ever, even in a strip club. Not a conversation I ever imagined having. We still give him shit for it to this day.
"masturbate? nooooo. get on stage fool! They'll do it for you!"
That sort of reminds me of an exchange I had with my Scandinavian History lecturer.
I'd just given my part of a brief presentation on the archaeological history of the conversion period in Scandinavia, and the lecturer was thanking the two people who had presented work. She thanked my co-presenter as her first name, and then proceeded to ask me whether I preferred to be called by my first name , a common contraction of my first name, or "Mr. [Second Name]".
I almost asked to be called "Mr. [Second Name]", but the bizarre nature of the request shook me - I think that it was my first real experience of being treated like an adult rather than as a student.
I'm getting old
I'm doing Movember for Men's Health! Donate if you can - thanks.
and they'll be bluer then the gum chewing girl from willy wonka
Gamertag - Mightyvvhitey
I've heard some people don't even orgasm until marriage, :shock:
Bullshit, that's why God made nocturnal emissions. To fuck with his own fanatics.
Yeah I honestly don't see the appeal.
I'm not disparagin porn here, but have you ever seen a real mostly-naked girl up close? How 'bout a bunch of them?
There's some extra benefit to seeing them real and up close.
Was she wearing a ring? Then you're a dumbass. If she didn't have one on, you were perfectly in the clear. If you don't remember, then you need to start looking for one.
Unrelated to the story above, here's one of mine. Now, I've said before that I really don't get embarrassed. I tend to do things that one would consider embarrassing (this story will be one of those) but they generally don't bother me. This story is more of me embarrassing my rather new girlfriend.
It's around Halloween this year, so about 1 1/2 months ago. We've been dating since July 7th, so about 3 months. My girlfriend is very shy. She rarely talks to people because she just lacks the social skills to do so. I love her to death, but the girl just doesn't know what to say to people in certain situations. She overthinks things and when it comes time to think of something to say, her mind goes blank.
So, we get to the party and there aren't many people there, and I'm confused. Apparently it wasn't really a party, but a gathering of friends. I'm sure you know the type, but in any case, the few people there are already pretty fucking wasted. So, I grab about 3 beers and chug them in about 1 1/2 minutes so I can catch up. No way I'm gonna be sober around these assholes. So about 20 minutes after we've been to the party, I'm about 7 beers deep, cause I'm a champion. And the genius idea of "never have I ever" has just been brought up. Brittany doesn't want to play, for reasons stated above. She said she's never played before and after I explain the rules, she's nervous and scared that everyone will laugh at her if she can't come up with something or something good enough. I'm trying my hardest to break her of this, because I'm not like this. I've already got beers ready and my fingers up ready to do battle. Suffice it to say, I lost. We actually had a girl there that's never kissed a guy before. She's my age, 23. Wow... Ok, so she ended up winning.
The way we played is you hold up 10 fingers, if you've done something that's been said, put a finger down and drink (for the people that were drinking). I went out pretty fast, but even if there are people out, they could still say "never have I ever" to try to get people out. So it's down to the girl that won, who has 1 finger (we had to resort to saying stuff specific to her to get it to at least be close such as never have I ever been to spain) and this one other guy, who also has 1 finger. It's on me to end this game. I'm gonna go out with a bang. But... what am I gonna say? Then it hits me. "Never have I ever fucked a girl while she's on her period." I stare at the last guy standing and his finger goes down, and he goes, "What the fuck made you say that?" 9 beers deep I say, "Did it this morning!" Everyone starts laughing. Brittany just stares me down. I'm surprised she didn't leap at me and start strangling me like Homer does Bart.
We're still together and we were talking about that last night, and she now thinks it's hilarious. She just can't believe I said I did it this morning.
hanging at a friends house, about 12 of us or so. playing never have i ever. Sitting with my current girlfriend beside me, and an ex girlfriend is across the table from me. Longtime ex girlfriend, i should add.
My buddy paul decides he's going to say "never have i ever given or received anal"
ex girlfriend turns bright fucking red. puts a finger down.
I turn green. put a finger down.
current girlfriend also turns red, but not from embarrasment.
awesomely fun night ensues. seriously though it was fun, current girlfriend storms out and i have the rest of the night with buddies to drink and be merry.
Should be noted i ended up back with the ex girlfriend not 3 weeks later. we had been broken up for a year. ah, anal stories bringing couples back together.
*edit* totp...hahaha
That's silly. You're supposed to say stuff that you didn't do.
[Edit] No wait, I forgot the rules for a second there. What can I say, never have I ever been a fan of drunken party games.
My friends got me a bumper harvest of 2nd hand gay porn for my 18th. I stuffed it under my bed and did my best to forget about it. I forgot about my exploratory mother.
"I noticed you had some... magazines... and some videos... of a certain... nature."
"Those aren't mine. I mean, they are. But I didn't buy them. I'm not-"
"Just don't let your little brother in on what you do, huh? You do what you want but you keep it to yourself."
"Uh..."
Oh gods, accidentally convincing your parents that you're gay.
I've always been a fairly femmy guy, and never did much dating in high school (at least not that my parents knew about). I went to art school for a year afterward, and at some point later when I was living back at home I mentioned that a neighbor blasting loud techno music made me feel "like I'm back in Sergio's room".
"...In my room, next to Sergio's room! He always played loud techno and I heard it through my wall!"
Well, shit. No amount of back-pedaling could get me out of it. I've since dated (and brought over to their place) several women, but I still get the feeling that they're waiting for me to just come out already. It doesn't help that, still, pretty much everyone I meet assumes I'm gay. Curse my gaydar-jamming equipment!
Did your girlfriend break up with you because of something you did before you were even together?
naaaah, that moment had nothing to do with the break up. But the fact that she got visibly flustered/upset by being around myself and my ex at the same time...that'll do it.
A few years ago I (male) went with a friend (male) to Brighton (gay hotspot of the south coast) to meet up with some friends he met online. When I told my mum this, I'm fairly sure that she thought that it was my way of coming out, as when I told her that the people we were meeting were female, she acted very relieved.
I'm doing Movember for Men's Health! Donate if you can - thanks.
Maybe you should stop jamming gay things with your equipment.
I've never played with the finger thing, but often people will say something they know they have done if only to see who else has done the same thing.