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I just threw up
Captain K
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I inhaled a piece of lint by accident, coughed and swallowed it involuntarily, and suddenly I was puking.
what bodily functions have caught you by surprise lately, SE++?
what bodily functions have caught you by surprise lately, SE++?
Captain K on
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closest i can come is the friend of a friend who shit himself with diarrhea on xmas day right as he got pulled over by a cop
this is legendary
That's one way to try and get out of a ticket.
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I think i would have burned that car, and called my insurance company.
you gross
haha what the fuck?
PSSSSSSSSHHHHHT!
when he rolled down the window the cop immediately started to wretch and motioned for him to just get out of there.
if i'd been the cop i probably would have shot him just on principle
After I was done, the bottle was at least a good 80% full of urine...which makes me really glad that we made sure to finish the soda before I started.
and what then?
as it stands now it's kind of sinister
I thought it was silent and was walking around all smug as fuck.
Turns out it was pretty loud, I hadn't realised but everyone else in the shop had and was blissfully unaware of their bewildered glances.
that did not stay down very long
yeah I'm gonna vote to agree on this one
just get all over with and let me pass out for like a day due to blood loss and then wake up and go about my life
We should get our hands on a video of a woman menstruating over time then speed it up super fast.
Well, I would still be relieved if I drained 20oz out of my bladder...stopping sucks, but it's better than holding everything in. I was mostly worried because it was dark and I couldn't see how full it was. But damn, 16+ oz is still a decent bottle of pee.
There's a variably large amount of men who cannot stop pissing once they start. So yes, you can be relieved it's not in you anymore, but would you be relieved that it's all over your pants, feet, car?
like, i can stop, but only for a short period of time and it really hurts like hell
shit just happens, sometimes
Any time I enter a wooded area I immediately feel the need to shit.
I was about a half a mile away from home. I have never run so fast in my life, with cheeks clenched. When I got home, I ran to the bathroom and just did a superman with my clothes, and spun around while spraying shit everywhere and finally landing on the toilet with nothing left to give.
To this day my mom still thinks my dad did it.
Like I said, I can stop but it's not that pleasant. I feel like it would still be more pleasant than leaving it all in there though. Of course, if you absolutely can't stop then I wouldn't recommend it. It was pretty difficult as it was (the angle was a bit tough), and my fiancee had to do most of the "handling" of things.
and she's like 'why? did you poop yourself? it's ok you can tell me'
and im like 'no man i just want some different pants, i dunno why, im a kid'
to this day she still thinks i pooped myself and was too afraid to admit it. just wanted different pants, thats all
What we should do is install a sac that would allow pressure to build. Maybe the sac has anti congealants?
that was two words and a comma bigger than it needed to be
Grandma knows.
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The bolded portion pushes the post two points up the hilarity scale.
like women need to be MORE bloated during that time.
once in a while shit is a thing that will just occur occasionally
maybe it's just the hormones telling me that I'm untouchable, but also I break out and pooping gets extremely gross and soft too even though it's bad enough that it's mixing with the blood which is possibly the worst thing ever
luckily I only get my period like three times a year! hooray!