On Monday, I knocked on a ladies door to let her know that we'd be in her yard trimming trees. She was fat and only wearing a blanket. My coworkers were telling me I should have hit, then she came outside and asked if any of us were hungry because she just made breakfast.
I shudder at the thought that one of my coworkers went in and did not come back for a half hour.
You know it was you who fucked her, don't try to act like it was your coworker.
I used to work at a Cleaners. This was a place that had industrial orders from Oil Refineries. They would clean overalls. They also did Dry Cleaning. I was the guy they hired to clean the sludge out of the machines. I would pack it into a barrel and roll it outside until it could be picked up and taken to one of those plants that dealt with toxic materials.
On Monday, I knocked on a ladies door to let her know that we'd be in her yard trimming trees. She was fat and only wearing a blanket. My coworkers were telling me I should have hit, then she came outside and asked if any of us were hungry because she just made breakfast.
I shudder at the thought that one of my coworkers went in and did not come back for a half hour.
You know it was you who fucked her, don't try to act like it was your coworker.
The only reason Shibby didn't hit it was because she wasn't standing on a toilet at the time.
On Monday, I knocked on a ladies door to let her know that we'd be in her yard trimming trees. She was fat and only wearing a blanket. My coworkers were telling me I should have hit, then she came outside and asked if any of us were hungry because she just made breakfast.
I shudder at the thought that one of my coworkers went in and did not come back for a half hour.
You know it was you who fucked her, don't try to act like it was your coworker.
The only reason Shibby didn't hit it was because she wasn't standing on a toilet at the time.
I am sure he hit it, even if he won't admit to it. Doesn't he tap anything with a hole?
It was actually just a reference to Shibby posting a picture of a large girl standing on a toilet a while back and saying that he found that attractive
I worked at a place that rented out and serviced porta-potties for a summer
fucking terrible.
At the park, the natives here will practically live in them for a few days - no joke. One time there was even a little shelf built inside one.
We would use a giant hose to suck out all the crap and pee and stuff, but it would get clogged with:
panties
diapers
bottles
a sweater
dead cat
and we'd have to kick out the natives sleeping in them and they'd get pissed like we were foreclosing on their home or something.
Bearstranaut on
You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Let me tell you about the time I worked at Marshalls department store.
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
I'm a waiter, so dealing with silverware that people have slobbered all over and half eaten food and other nastiness.
I work in a seafood restaurant too, and some guy had a bad reaction to his meal somehow and proceded to hurl more than I have ever seen. It was pretty nasty but hell if I was gonna clean it up.
There used to be a little kid that used to always come in to a small family restaurant I worked at a few years ago, and when he decided he didn't like his food, he'd spit entire MOUTHFULS out under the table. Unfortunately, I was the one who had to clean it up. And spend a summer washing dishes and you'll never think about shoving your hand into nasty food ever again.
Look at it this way: At least you don't have to blow the bull.
i do not envy people who collect semen from farm animals for breeding purposes
ugh
(god that reminds me of an old episode of the daily show where beth littleford basically jerked off a pig as part of reporting about artificial insemination of farm animals)
Let me tell you about the time I worked at Marshalls department store.
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
I would have handed that bitch a box of tissues and said,
"Looks like you've got some shit to do. Go tie up that disgusting little parasite outside - here is a bowl to put some water in for him."
Bearstranaut on
You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Let me tell you about the time I worked at Marshalls department store.
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
I would have handed that bitch a box of tissues and said,
"Looks like you've got some shit to do. Go tie up that disgusting little parasite outside - here is a bowl to put some water in for him."
What sucked even more was that she was really nice and kind of a MILF. I couldn't look at the kid, though, it made me want to retch.
Xhaztol on
0
marty_0001I am a fileand you put documents in meRegistered Userregular
Whenever I go into the bathroom at work, I always wind up in a stall next to a guy trying to pass a two ton boulder from his ass. Every time the dude is all HRRRRRRRNNNNGG HRUUUUUUUGGGGH and then the greasiest sounding dump ever explodes out of him and the entire bathroom immediately smells like burnt mayonnaise.
I think everyone in the entire building needs to eat more fiber.
as well as that Yahoo Answers thread is extremely difficult at times. My coworkers probably wonder what it is I get up to in my office that's so funny.
Let me tell you about the time I worked at Marshalls department store.
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
I would have handed that bitch a box of tissues and said,
"Looks like you've got some shit to do."
worst I've had to do is probably cleaning out the fermentation rooms at a meat factory
No part of that sentence is not disgusting.
it was not a fun day
but hey, aged salami gotta come from somewhere
the best part was when the guy who told us to go do it got in trouble. Apparently he had been tasked with the job specifically, as some kind of punishment, and was trying to get out of it.
Let me tell you about the time I worked at Marshalls department store.
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
I would have handed that bitch a box of tissues and said,
"Looks like you've got some shit to do."
On Monday, I knocked on a ladies door to let her know that we'd be in her yard trimming trees. She was fat and only wearing a blanket. My coworkers were telling me I should have hit, then she came outside and asked if any of us were hungry because she just made breakfast.
I shudder at the thought that one of my coworkers went in and did not come back for a half hour.
You know it was you who fucked her, don't try to act like it was your coworker.
Posts
i successfully saved every marshmallow in my lucky charms for the very end without ever breaking down and eating one
his "job" sucks
You know it was you who fucked her, don't try to act like it was your coworker.
That job is not as dirty as you would think.
you're hired!
I get the marshmallows.
I do this with cookie dough ice cream. I save all the chunks of cookie dough for the end.
i guess it's not really dirty
then again it involves handling bovine bozacks for a few hours so
yeah, that's kinda dirty
The only reason Shibby didn't hit it was because she wasn't standing on a toilet at the time.
just because your thoughts are dirty doesn't mean the job is
whatever blows your hair back man
Is it really more sweat and bacteria than any other part of the cow?
I am sure he hit it, even if he won't admit to it. Doesn't he tap anything with a hole?
I, too, would fuck that guy.
it's just the toilet thing that I found funny
fucking terrible.
At the park, the natives here will practically live in them for a few days - no joke. One time there was even a little shelf built inside one.
We would use a giant hose to suck out all the crap and pee and stuff, but it would get clogged with:
panties
diapers
bottles
a sweater
dead cat
and we'd have to kick out the natives sleeping in them and they'd get pissed like we were foreclosing on their home or something.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I was head cashier for a couple years, and I've seen some weird shit.
But I never thought I would see actual SHIT.
This woman was holding what seemed to have been a 3 year old or something by doing the one-arm, have-the-kid-straddle-your-waist method. She was about three people back in the line, and I see her shift the kid to look over something in the endcap.
A turd just drops out of this kid's shorts and falls onto the floor.
Sits there for like...thirty minutes. I couldn't do anything really because it was holiday rush, and I couldn't exactly put a customer on hold in line and call the front to be like "Can I have someone come clean up a piece of shit?" and I sure as hell for some reason had a problem with going "Ma'am, your kid just fucking pooped in the store."
One of the stock room women came and wiped it up and we took a mop to it. The people standing in line that figured it out looked really grossed out.
actually cows only sweat through their noses... i spaced on that one
it's just that you have to use bare hands or you can't tell if you've severed the vas deferens and blood supply
mostly it'd be proximity to it's butt. if the calf has diarrhea that is also very unpleasant
Let me guess, you made the dishwasher do it?
i hate servers.
fair enough
I've never had to deal with cattle when they were still alive.
i do not envy people who collect semen from farm animals for breeding purposes
ugh
(god that reminds me of an old episode of the daily show where beth littleford basically jerked off a pig as part of reporting about artificial insemination of farm animals)
I would have handed that bitch a box of tissues and said,
"Looks like you've got some shit to do. Go tie up that disgusting little parasite outside - here is a bowl to put some water in for him."
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
What sucked even more was that she was really nice and kind of a MILF. I couldn't look at the kid, though, it made me want to retch.
I am doing this also. Stifling my laughter at stories like this:
as well as that Yahoo Answers thread is extremely difficult at times. My coworkers probably wonder what it is I get up to in my office that's so funny.
"Meat fermentation room" might be the most disgusting-sounding phrase I've ever heard.
And why do you need to ferment meat?
hahahahaalittlecreepy
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
it was not a fun day
but hey, aged salami gotta come from somewhere
the best part was when the guy who told us to go do it got in trouble. Apparently he had been tasked with the job specifically, as some kind of punishment, and was trying to get out of it.
someone report this for Awesome
Yeah man, what the hell. I'm gonna go outside
My dirtiest job so far has been helping a dude dig a trench in his yard and burying some pipe in the trench.