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Best Worst Movies

HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
So the other day I was watching John Carpenter's masterwork of auteurism entitled "Big Trouble in Little China" and it got to thinking: What is it that I'm enjoying so much about watching this ludicrous film?

Perhaps the fact that I can turn my brain completely off, consuming the McDonald's of visual media. Equally possible is my desire to massage my own ego, making fun of the campy, bad (whether intentional or not) writing and acting. Maybe I was reliving a childhood fantasy, where bad guys didn't need proper reasons for existing and the good guy always won.

Whatever the reason, it was a very satisfying experience.

So, D&D, what are some of your favorite bad films or B movies? What attracts you to them? Do you find yourself watching them often? And finally, is there an art to them? I know I've often found that Sci-fi's attempt at creating B movie greatness every weekend fails miserably.

My initial list includes the following in addition to Big Trouble in Little China:

Army of Darkness
Starship Troopers
David Lynch's (or Alan Smithee's :P ) DUNE
There are probably more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

Heartlash on
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Posts

  • JohannenJohannen Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Cherrn..... that was fucking insane.

  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? peach treesRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Rocky IV and Rambo (the new one)

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  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Heartlash wrote: »
    Podly wrote: »
    oh shit the rock is a pretty damn good movie

    "Winners go home and f*** the prom queen"

    Must watch again.

    Great stuff so far guys.

    Dude...you can say fuck here. :P


    And yes, The Rock was my absolute first thought upon reading the thread title. It's horrible, yet fantastic at the same time. You've got a fantastic actor in Sean Connery, maybe in Cage as well (definitely debatable), doing an utterly atrocious over-the-top action wankfest...and it works. One-liners, bullets, explosions, car chases that had to be shoehorned in but dammit, they're there, everything.

    Awesome.

    Same goes for Con-Air, only replace Connery with Malkovich (and Buscemi).

    Hell, you can even go for the Nicholas Cage "what the fuck why are these movies on Starz 24 hours a day" trifecta, and throw in Gone in 60 Seconds. But that one's probably pretty controversial....I think a lot of people hated it, and not in a good "love to hate it" way.



    Bloodsport is a great one too, though really both Van Damme and Steven Seagal put out some pretty good bad movies back in the day.

    Spoiler:
  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Me and some friends had hilarious fun when we watched "War Inc.". Every minute of it was so god-awfully bad that it became very fun to dissect it.

  • Element BrianElement Brian Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm not sure how bad it is, but being an 80's flick, I guess its debatable. Rad has always had a special place in my heart, especially for this scene

    School Dance...on bikes!

    I like the idea of the carbonation in your pop being too much for your mormon body

    too worldly nooooo
  • SithDrummerSithDrummer Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm Gonna Git You Sucka is a pretty damn fine comedy

    It's an easy game to hate
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I submit Beastmaster and Red Sojna to the record.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb5zm3FV47E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7EvEV4jtmY



    And no hating on Tank Girl. Seriously, that movie is awesome.

    The list never changes: http://www.infinitebacklog.com
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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Gymkata - when you're a willowy badass who beats up bad guys with your gymnastic prowess, it's amazing how often you can find a pommel horse just where you need it.

    I'd also say, 'Best Guy,' but I'm the only one on this board who's seen it. :P

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  • Johnny ChopsockyJohnny Chopsocky Scootaloo! We have to cook! Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
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  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm Gonna Git You Sucka is a pretty damn fine comedy

    All I remember from that movie is the dude with the goldfish in his platform shoes.

    And I submit one (1) The Toxic Avenger.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Starcrash.

    David Hasselhoff in a Star Wars ripoff? Yes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC-dwjrinK0

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  • PodunkPodunk Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Airborne, from 1993. I have no idea why I love this movie. Teenager from California (loves surfing and rollerblading) moves to his relatives place in Cincinatti for 6 months. It ends with a 20 minute downhill rollerblading race (Devil's Backbone!) to determine which neighborhood is superior. Also has Jack Black and Seth Green.

    Also, Demolition Man.

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  • BarcardiBarcardi All the Wizards Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Point Break.... hands down Point Break

  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Barcardi wrote: »
    Point Break.... hands down Point Break

    First: Fuck you.

    Second: That movie is a classic, it launched Kianu Reeve's career and won like 10 Oscars.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive Damn these electric sex pants! Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars. Working out the many layers of flashbacks is entertainment in itself.

    Another successful post, thanks to the power of Spacestar Ordering™!
  • BarcardiBarcardi All the Wizards Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Barcardi wrote: »
    Point Break.... hands down Point Break

    First: Fuck you.

    Second: That movie is a classic, it launched Kianu Reeve's career and won like 10 Oscars.

    Your response only further funds my endless summer.

  • Knuckle DraggerKnuckle Dragger Explosive Ovine Disposal Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    There is no earthly reason I should've watched Standing Tall the entire way through since it stars The Rock, and Johnny Knoxville. But I dug it. A lot.

    The Rock actually has made some entertaining movies. The Rundown was by no means a good movie, but it definately had its moments, especially Walken's monologues..."Do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth fairy?"

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
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    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I watched Home Alone 3 once, in its entirety. It's banal unoriginality gave me a stiffy. It was a beautiful thing (the movie was).

    Barcardi wrote: »
    Your response only proves me right and further funds my endless summer.

    I don't know what you just said.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • TavTav Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I saw The Spirit when it was in the cinema? Samuel L Jackson as a black Nazi who gets crushed by a giant stone eagle? Yes please.

  • toolberttoolbert Registered User
    edited February 2009
    I can't believe that no one's said They Live yet. Rodey (sp?) Piper and Keith Davidson's epic fight over wearing sunglasses always make my day.

    Spoiler:
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  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Erchamion wrote: »

    Hah Liam Nesson is one of the bandits!

    I think I should watch this movie.

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  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    tsmvengy wrote: »
    Starcrash.

    David Hasselhoff in a Star Wars ripoff? Yes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC-dwjrinK0[url]

    Reminds me of Ice Pirates

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-YZ8WOU1-w

    The list never changes: http://www.infinitebacklog.com
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  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    toolbert wrote: »
    I can't believe that no one's said They Live yet. Rodey (sp?) Piper and Keith Davidson's epic fight over wearing sunglasses always make my day.

    That is so not a bad awesome movie. It's fucking awesome awesome.

    Now, if you'd have said Piper's film Hell Comes to Frogtown, then I would have kissed you.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • toolberttoolbert Registered User
    edited February 2009
    I almost forgot about Bubba Hotep as well. Bruce Campbell has to be my favorite best worst movie actor of all time. I still need to see My Name is Bruce even if its horrible as well as Bubba Nosferatu if it comes out.

    Spoiler:
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  • ThemindtakerThemindtaker Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    There is no earthly reason I should've watched Standing Tall the entire way through since it stars The Rock, and Johnny Knoxville. But I dug it. A lot.

    The Rock actually has made some entertaining movies. The Rundown was by no means a good movie, but it definately had its moments, especially Walken's monologues..."Do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth fairy?"

    First of all, it's "Walking Tall," it's a remake, and it was decent.

    The Rundown is by my means a good movie. I love everything about it.

    Penis amputation jokes, sean william scott getting punched in the face, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson going giant-jackie-chan on thugs and then sniping with a shotgun, followed by a jumping over an alley to deliver a flying punch that knocks out a support column.
    Oh, and a cameo by the Ahnold, plus Keno (pizza delivery boy from TMNT II: SOTO) as a rebel fighter.
    "Ged owda 'ere, monkey" is fantastic, also.

    And just to share a movie I think actually belongs in this thread: Pootie Tang is wad-a-tay, my biddies.

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  • Brian888Brian888 Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Erchamion wrote: »

    Hah Liam Nesson is one of the bandits!

    I think I should watch this movie.



    Yes, yes you should. Krull is a damn fine movie.


    Anyway, back on topic.

    Deep Rising. Pure B-movie greatness. The hero is square-jawed, the woman is Famke Janssen, the monster is suitably horrible, the science obligatorily makes no sense, and everyone is having a great time making it. They even wind up on Monster Island at the end. Classic fun.

  • Richard_DastardlyRichard_Dastardly Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Penis amputation jokes...

    Reminded me of Street Trash.

    ಠ_ರೃ wrote: »
    cats are douches
  • HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Brian888 wrote: »
    Deep Rising. Pure B-movie greatness. The hero is square-jawed, the woman is Famke Janssen, the monster is suitably horrible, the science obligatorily makes no sense, and everyone is having a great time making it. They even wind up on Monster Island at the end. Classic fun.

    It also had that guy who played Sagat in the Street Fighter movie (speaking of which, add that to the list).

    He also played Magua in the Last of the Mohicans... Ha.

    TiSBcast.com - Home of This is Serious Business, a weekly roundtable podcast involving media, beer, and general merriment.
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited February 2009

    You know those Hulu commercials, where they talk about how television softens your brain into a delicious mush?

    I think this video actually did that.

    Spoiler:
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt Damn you, eidetic memory! Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I don't even need to watch that clip to be sure that it's the one with bikes on a train.

    I watched the Japanese release of Snakes on a Plane, except that it was called Snake Flight. I think that made the experience better.

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  • GaddezGaddez Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Uwe boll's alone in the dark.

    Spoiler:
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I don't even need to watch that clip to be sure that it's the one with bikes on a train.

    I watched the Japanese release of Snakes on a Plane, except that it was called Snake Flight. I think that made the experience better.

    Oh, it's not just the train scene.

    Spoiler:
  • Brian888Brian888 Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Heartlash wrote: »
    Brian888 wrote: »
    Deep Rising. Pure B-movie greatness. The hero is square-jawed, the woman is Famke Janssen, the monster is suitably horrible, the science obligatorily makes no sense, and everyone is having a great time making it. They even wind up on Monster Island at the end. Classic fun.

    It also had that guy who played Sagat in the Street Fighter movie (speaking of which, add that to the list).

    He also played Magua in the Last of the Mohicans... Ha.


    Wes Studi? Total badass. You know you're in good hands when he's in the movie.

  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    Excuse me. 3 pages in and no mention of the most ridiculously bad but awesome movie ever?

    Commando

    "Don't wake my friend, he's dead tired."
    "Hey Sully, remember when I said I'd kill you last?" "Yeah yeah! You did say that!" "I lied."
    "What happened to Sully?" "I had to let him go *Flips a Porsche back over onto it's wheels."

  • toolberttoolbert Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Brian888 wrote: »
    Heartlash wrote: »
    Brian888 wrote: »
    Deep Rising. Pure B-movie greatness. The hero is square-jawed, the woman is Famke Janssen, the monster is suitably horrible, the science obligatorily makes no sense, and everyone is having a great time making it. They even wind up on Monster Island at the end. Classic fun.

    It also had that guy who played Sagat in the Street Fighter movie (speaking of which, add that to the list).

    He also played Magua in the Last of the Mohicans... Ha.


    Wes Studi? Total badass. You know you're in good hands when he's in the movie.

    I also believe that when Danny Trejo is in a film, he's going to be pretty bad ass and bad at the same time like in From Dusk till Dawn (also a great bad movie)

    Spoiler:
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  • HedgethornHedgethorn Associate Professor of Historical Hobby Horses In the Lions' DenRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Lot's of awesomeness in this thread. Here are a few of mine:

    Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
    Only The Strong
    The Rock
    Point Break
    Biodome


    But my all time favorite "This movie is shit, but I can't stop watching it" is Drive-Thru. Any movie with a killer clown that's called "Horny the Clown" is fucking gold. Plus the main chick is hot as fuck.

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  • JohannenJohannen Registered User
    edited February 2009
    Legend.

    Tom Cruise when he wasn't crazy.

  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Oh man, I have so many of these. Bunch of stuff's already been mentioned.

    The One (love Jet Li, love Statham, you do the math.)
    Sahara (quietly a really fun, if cornball, action/adventure movie.)
    The animated Transformers movie
    Basically any nick cage movie when he plays that same burned out mid-life crisis character

    any number of others, probably.

    edit: oh man, Torque! Truly one of the all time bad movies. I have that burned on a CD around here somewhere.

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