I never really payed attention... but not only are we stealing the giant materia from the most annoying train mini-game ever... but we're trying to stop the world from being saved. yay us
Another update already? It is true! This may be because I have no idea how long the next one is going to take me, so enjoy this one for now.
Part 24: Flight of the Condors
We arrive at the Corel reactor in time to murder a couple of soldiers minding their own business and watch a train leave. Hey… that had Huge Materia on it. Shit! What are we gonna do now?
Oh, we just steal our own train. How convenient of them to leave one for us. The timer begins as this is apparently how long we have before the train reaches Corel. Banana then proves he must be some sort of goddamn superhero because not only did he chase after an airplane on foot, he now makes this 50 foot jump like it was nothing.
Hopping across the cars, we fight various enemies until we come to what appears to be the White Ranger’s Falconzord. It’s easily dispatched with a few Bolt 3’s.
At the very end, we make the brilliant move of killing the guy driving the train. Banana isn’t quite sure how to slow it down. So glad we decided to think before acting. At least Jailbait has her priorities straight.
It should? How do you know? Is this really how trains work? Nonetheless, this “game” is ridiculous. For some reason I couldn’t get the controls working right on my keyboard, so I pretty much just flailed on the keys like an idiot. Spoiler: I still won.
No matter what I do, the train just keeps speeding up. Despite this, at the very last second, Banana ducks and hits down on both the levers.
And the train eases to a stop. Hooray, we saved… uh, what did we save exactly?
Oh, these fuckers. It seems as if the whole intent here was to stop the train from plowing through the village. They all act like Shinra are monsters for considering this, but I think maybe next time you shouldn’t build your village on fucking train tracks, morons.
So we successfully retrieved the Huge Materia despite my principles telling me not to. The player in me knows what they’re used for later (not a whole lot).
With people like this, I’m beginning to think that I’m collecting the Huge Materia because I want Shinra to fail and for this planet to die.
Fuck off. I don’t want something from some stupi-
Sweet Jesus! This kid just casually handed me the strongest magic materia in the world. First one from a goddamn chicken, now this? Where’s all this conveniently strong materia before?
Alright, I guess that made all this marginally productive. Next we’re off to Fort Condor.
You’ll see in a few moments what he’s talking about, but this Fort Condor place is pretty weird. It’s built on top of a really unrealistic geographic terrain.
For some reason this includes a reactor. Another example of Shinra just building reactors wherever the fuck they feel like. Oh, and also a big condor. I uh… yep.
Thanks for the info. Can we have it, please?
Is that really their plan? I think Shinra would probably just leave if you gave them the Huge Materia. No reason to be so overdramatic…
Okay, let them? Shit, I don’t get you people at all.
And we would like you to fuck off and die. I’m not paying to help you. That is retarded.
There’s the top of the reactor with the condor. It looks like a statue but apparently it’s alive.
The object of this minigame is to buy units and place them on the field. It has sort of a Wacraft Tower Defense thing going on. I probably should have done it just to show you, but honestly I was just way too lazy. The event is 100x faster if you do nothing and let the enemies get to the top. I like to imagine the observing man’s face in total despair as he watches me scratch my ass and do absolutely nothing to stop the incoming onslaught.
As soon as one enemy reaches the top, you just fight a boss battle with Grand Horn. An easy as shit boss battle. An easy as shit boss battle that you don’t even get a game over for even if you DO lose. So basically the easiest event in the entire game. Obviously I kill it, nonetheless, and you win the whole event without even having done the defense portion.
Then suddenly…
Ooo, pretty.
Holy hellmuffins!
Well this seems… unfortunate. All our “work” to protect the condor and that weird egg it was protecting explodes and kills it anyway…
‘D’awww, lookit the birdy… Oh god, stay away from my face! Fucking hell!’
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Please tell me you just handed me your abnormal, fused rock collection…
‘Alright, that’s it. Prepare to feel the fury of a thousand cock-slaps. Jailbait, undo my pants.’
Because we are Teh Heroz! Or some bullshit like that…
‘…I really hate this job. I hate you. I hate your face. I hate your fucking condors and when Meteor hits, I’ll at least have the satisfaction of knowing you’re dead, and probably burning in hell.’
Yeah!...
I don’t know… Is it?
‘Then I can make my move on her, because her one love is stupefied in a wheelchair while crapping all over himself. If that’s not a turnoff, then I give up and I’m going gay.
You guys didn’t hear any of that because it wasn’t said. I didn’t say anything.’
‘At the very least, seeing Squall drool and mumble like an idiot is pretty hilarious.’
Yeah gee, that’s a real bummer. Hey, what’s up with that eye exam back there? How do you even take that? Uh, first line… backwards C. E. C that is turned… upward. Second line… A in a green box… C turned downward in a red box… Just a normal C in a yellow box… Ridiculous. (I've since been informed that it's a standard Japanese eye exam. Damn crazy Japanese.)
‘Welcome to my world. Anyways, how goes the diaper changing and drool wiping? You know, there are alternatives… You know why I made the Tiny Bronco? I had to reverse compensate for my… mega bronco. If you catch my drift.
Oh, the Airship? Well, I made that because it is the essence of manliness. A woman wouldn’t understand.’
Suddenly, the ground begins to quake.
To take me away, ha ha!
'Oookay, fuck this noise.'
‘Goddamn it, now I’m tripping.’
For some reason I got really bad screenshots of him, but here we are facing Ultimate Weapon. Though he’s hardly Ultimate at all. While he does do some attacks like Quake that aren’t exactly weak, he’s more bark than bite. Regardless, this is a fight you don’t win in a normal sense because after a certain amount of damage, he flies off and you get no experience or AP. Pussy.
Banana actually tells the others to take care of themselves first. Maybe he is cut out to be our leader.
Okay, we’re ready to roll out!
Woah god! Oh well. Good riddance Dr. Idiot.
‘Don’t worry, Squall… Just a little bit further and… Oh crap!’
‘Mffuuuuuuuuu….woooooaaaa….?’
‘Aaaahhhhhhh!’
‘Deerrrrrrrrrrrp’
Sploosh!
Cue Blue Danube.
Lockheart awakens in a black void.
Some trippy noises are heard in the background, including the cries of the planet which we heard at Bugenhagen’s observatory.
We progress to a bunch of random lines by Lockheart. Answering questions that you never saw asked to begin with.
Special guest director Hidaeki Anno (of Neon Genesis Evangelion fame) says it just isn’t a complete story without a mind fuck!
Is your mind fucked yet? No?! Well… We’ll see what we can do about that!
Try and analyze this!
Hooookay… What?
Squall’s subconscious… How the hell do you just end up in someone else’s mind? I sort of fear what we may find here. Thoughts of Jailbait doing things that are illegal in all… uh, well… everywhere.
I dunno… That depends on what the real Squall is like. The one we had was kinda growing on me.
Anyhow, we’ve arrived at a major point in the game for storyline exposition. It’s also pretty long, boring and wordy much like Squall’s story early on if you know what it’s all about. Honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to summarize it, or make it entertaining at all, but I’ll try.
Next time on Final Fantasy VII:
Time to descend…
Into the thoughts of our hero…
What lurks in that troubled mind…?
What are the true desires that are hidden deep in those glowing eyes…?
Not that any of them knew it would, though, so Barret's still a moron who may as well just go around shouting "I'm Barret fucking Wallace of AVALANCHE. Don't believe ShinRa's lies!"
EDIT - Fuck, wasn't expecting you to carry on past the Ultimate WEAPON fight... since it means the following tip will be completely useless to you now; Elemental materia linked with something with no element (not all of them work, but stuff like HP Plus and MP Plus do for certain), shove them in your armor, then laugh at how ineffective Ultima Beam is...
Basically, it turns out there's a lot more than 9 elements, as there's also Non-Elemental, 5 more solely for physicals (Cut, Shot, Hit, Shout... and I forget the other), and Hidden. Ultima Beam is the only attack in the game that has Hidden (at a point where you have Elemental materia, at least - I've read that Reno's EMR is Hidden element when you fight him in Sector 7), and somewhat bizarrely, linking various non-elemental materia with Elemental actually gives protection against Hidden. As a result, you could potentially use Ultima Beam as a party heal.
BlitzAce1981 on
PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
That's pretty interesting. I had no idea. See, another reason why I might not be the best person to LP this is I pretty much don't know any tricks like that, or trivia, or well, much of anything apart from having played the game like 10 times over more than 8 years ago! Oh well, at least the thread allows people like you who do know those things to still make them known.
But to be honest, it still wouldn't have helped me for that particular battle because he never even used Ultima Beam on me. He got one Quake 2 off before flying away. I honestly think I'm leveled up enough to beat the game already.
Or at least, I thought it was... what, five years ago?
It is until you're OCD and keep going back to try to win every single one of those through the course of the game.
I don't recommend that.
Really? I never had a problem with it as a kid. In fact, after every single story event I would head all the way back to Condor and see if there was a new battle yet.
I do and I basically did the same as Adus did - just flailed on the controller until something happened. :P It was a really stupid, annoying and utterly pointless minigame which just served to hinder the main plot.
Also amongst all the "?????" moments of FF7 (which are really intensely being highlighted for me thanks to Adus) one of the bigger ones was...well, good GOD the people at Corel are stupid. Why the hell would you build your town in the middle of a functional railway???? Also, I still don't understand why our heroes decided to stop Shinra when they both had the same goal.
"Deeeeeerrrrrrp....." is also my favourite line of this update.
There are little reasons here and there but none of them are very convincing. They're all like "If we didn't stop Shinra, they would have plowed through Corel." or "If we didn't stop Shinra, they would have killed the people and the condor at Ft. Condor." The first is stupid because the people at Corel should have known better than building their village on active railway (you get the impression they had no choice, at times, but honestly there's a lot of room in that area if you look around). The second you're just taking the word of some guy you don't know and if they had just handed over the materia that they had no need for, there's no reason Shinra would have stayed and just killed them needlessly. They're also both stupid because neither really requires you to get the Huge Materia in the first place (and technically you don't if you fail).
I actually never paid attention to how silly it was (and many other things), so my reaction in the update was pretty much my actual reaction while playing this current playthrough (and most of the other reactions. Albeit they're exaggerated for humor purposes). Though after all of it, I'm still enjoying playing again. The LP would have been painful had playing been a chore, but I look forward to it each time (except this next one. Stupid Lifestream), so obviously I still really enjoy the game. I hope reading this doesn't straight up ruin it for anyone because even after finding out these things, it's still a favorite of mine. At the core, the story is still interesting and who knows how many of these flubs are just due to poor translation and the like? All the more reason why we need a remake.
KorKnown to detonate from time to timeRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
I have to say Barrett and/or Cid's ideas to save Fort Condor and Corel aren't entirely retarded. Since some people here haven't actually played thru the game and are reading these to see it for the first time, I'll spoiler the net bit:
When cloud rejoins the team, IIRC his idea is that Huge materia is very precious, its like overflowing with the knowledge of the ancients. Then he theorizes that gong after Seph with make Meteor just dissappear. So he wants to save the precious knowledge of the ancients so that he can use them against sephiroth.
In regards to Corel being retarded... I dunno. I remember the first time I walked those tracks, and I never thought they were functional. They had holes in them everywhere. I always thought it was supposed to be a surprise, like, holy shit shinra is actually using these tracks? Are they (still) retarded!?
Ft. Condor is most certainly the most retarded of the bunch. For some reason, a group of people that hate shinra decided to live inside of one of their reactors... yeah... that makes sense.
Well you make a good point in using the tracks that are falling apart. You could chalk that up to another one of Shinra's retarded moves. Maybe they decided to risk it because they need to get the Huge Materia now and time is of the essence. Since we know they sort of suck at having flying modes of transportation. It's all rather vague.
I still think they could have built the village like at least a few yards away from the tracks. It's not like they had some expert design plan going on that required what they created.
Regarding what you said about the Huge Materia:
I honestly don't remember that. I know the basic story but a lot of details like that, I'm relearning right now as I'm playing. Even things I do know about the future, such as how the Huge Materia rocket doesn't work whether or not they have it, I act as if I don't know because the characters don't know. The characters really have no idea what the Huge Materia is other than it's just very powerful materia. You could argue that they don't want something like that in the hands of Shinra, but Rufus himself stated it was their goal to stop Meteor. What else would they do with it? Try and take over the world themselves (which they essentially have done already) when a huge flaming rock of death is heading toward the planet? It's pretty easy to assume ramming Meteor with the Huge Materia will destroy the materia as well, so there's not exactly any fear that they'd suddenly be able to use it for their own good afterward.
No one has yet made any revelation about the Huge Materia, so right now it literally is our team just deciding to stop Shinra for the sake of stopping Shinra, despite the fact that this plan is currently their only hope.
Besides, that theory of Cloud's ends up being wrong anyways. Meteor doesn't get stopped even by Sephiroth's defeat. Nor does the Huge Materia have any effect on Holy+Lifestream stopping it since the ending is the same whether it blew up in the rocket or not. But this is moot since they're not psychic and them not being psychic is my point as to why them trying to stop Shinra here is dumb.
All this is assuming ShinRa is a standup corporate citizen though.
Is FFVII spoiler proof now? Awe, whatever.
They crushed a whole sector in midgar just to get at a handful of terrorists. With Corel the first time around, they blamed them for a problem at the reactor and torched the town. Then there's Nibelheim being setup/bought out to cover up.. something or other.
Whether ShinRa's plan to bust up meteor was in line with the party's, I wouldn't trust them not to kill anyone who happened to be around regardless of if those people were in their way.
OTOH, what use is saving a couple towns when the whole world is fucked.
Oh, and since I'm here, thanks Adus for an awesome thread. First LP I've read and its always entertaining.
It pretty much is spoiler proof though the nature of this thread has attracted some people who haven't played the game, and you can assume they don't really know anything other than "Aeris dies." So I just spoiler since it's easy to do. I won't get on anyone's case for not doing it, though. The game is like 11 years old now.
You're right though. There are reasons to assume Shinra is evil enough to just fuck up some towns even if they did hand over the Materia, but these reasons are Sector 7 and Corel mainly. Sector 7 you could make arguments about. AVALANCHE wasn't totally innocent themselves, as a few lines of dialogue make mention how their bombs kill a lot of people, too. They consider it for the greater good. Shinra breaks the pillar over Sector 7 to get back at them, probably using the same logic that any casualties were for the greater good.
Corel is a strange one. You never really figure out what causes the explosion in the reactor that results in the town being burnt down. The reason Corel may have hated Loaf was because Shinra told them all he did it, since he wasn't in town he was the scapegoat. It simply brings up another line of stupidity in the citizens as to why they'd believe the company that burnt down their town over a guy who lived there with his wife. Regardless, I'm getting a bit off track. The point is, it's possible they really believed the reactor explosion was caused by someone there. Hell, maybe Dyne did it since he hated them for being there. So that was their payback. Not that it was the right way to do it, but it would at least suggest they don't just kill people for absolutely no reason. Hence my assumption that if Ft. Condor handed over the materia, they might not have done anything.
Still, like it was stated above, it is rather stupid of the people to just build their home around a reactor anyways. The whole condor stuff is incredibly vague. Maybe you learn more going there at earlier points in the game, but I didn't particularly care to waste my time.
And once again thanks to everyone that supports this. It would have been easy to get discouraged and quit if no one had posted. I was even hesitant to promise I'd finish at first, but I can pretty much assure you I will now assuming my computer doesn't explode.
KorKnown to detonate from time to timeRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
You actually can find out what caused the whole corel thing sorta:
These spoilers are actually relevant to other FF games though:
In Before Crisis, which I'll avoid bitching about for now, you learn that the original AVALANCE caused the destruction, and ShinRa believe that the town of Corel was actually hiding them, and thus destroyed them.
To be honest, its one of the better explanations I've seen. Of course, then you have to wonder how Barret came to respect them... but whatever.
What always bothered me about Corel though, is you've got North Corel and regular Corel. North Corel being the idiots living at the end of the train tracks, and regular Corel being that town in the middle of the desert below Gold Saucer. When Barret has his flash back, it shows regular Corel going up in flames. So what the hell happened to N. Corel? Don't tell me that town originally stretched that whole span, because that'd make it bigger than midgar. :P
So the entire Gold Saucer desert was once a forest?
Apparently rain was sparse in those parts.
If North Corel is a refuge camp why would the city be so far away from the reactor in the first place? Not only does the rail road track run for miles (I mean, you get 10 minutes to stop it, right?), but then the city isn't even by the train tracks, it's in the middle of a forest long walk away from the train station. They must have been mining coal from the mountains 500km away. The logistics of that city make absolutely no sense.
I had assumed the city had developed around there due to the Gold Saucer tramway thing. And that still doesn't make any sense.
UltimaGecko on
The facehuggers want to play with you in the AvP LP. Facehuggers also want you to check out the TF2 cards here. View the in-progress RE mansion recreation for L4D here.
People respect a man who might do science at any moment.
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KorKnown to detonate from time to timeRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
You can't really argue the 10 minutes thing though. Or use it to argue with. Considering you can alter you train and their train to go faster and slower, and it makes no impact on the time remaining at all.
All right. This is the Lifestream sequence. Those of you who have played already know what it's all about. If you don't, it's basically a big, wordy section searching Squall's memories to try and find the truth about his past. A fair amount is revealed here, and it was hard to summarize, so I kept all the dialogue in tact and put them in spoiler boxes. I did my best to sum them up afterward and if you just read those summaries you may be able to figure out what's going on.
If you don't really care, or know about it already, then it'll be a pretty quick skim. I didn't try too hard to make a lot of jokes because I just wanted to move past this and get on with the game.
Part 25: Stream of Consciousness
I have discovered that when in doubt on titles, turn to Dream Theater songs.
Lockheart
"It connects...... to Nibelheim......?"
"That's right... It's probably best to start from there......"
(Squall stands up. Lockheart comes forward, toward the gates.)
Lockheart
"Let's go have a look, Squall. I know it's not easy...... But I'll
be right with you......"
(FMV sequence. The camera floats past Lockheart and Squall to the gates of
Nibelheim. Lockheart arrives there.)
Lockheart
"Squall... look."
(She runs into the town, nodding in the direction of the courtyard.)
Lockheart
"Here's the well..."
(She turns another direction.)
Lockheart
"And that's Gramps' Inn, too."
(She runs back through the gates, stopping by a rusted old truck reposing
there.)
Lockheart
"The only truck in town. It's been here since we were little
kids, right?"
(She faces back toward Squall's mind.)
Lockheart
"This is the Nibelheim you remember, right?"
(She nods.)
Lockheart
"It's the same as my Nibelheim That's why this place is... our
Nibelheim."
(Squall materializes from thin air, seated restfully on the ground. He
stands, looking at his feet as Lockheart comes over to him.)
Lockheart
"Five years ago... two men from SOLDIER came..."
(She turns toward the town.)
Lockheart
"Sephiroth and...... a young and vibrant soldier."
(She turns back.)
Lockheart
"Can you tell me again what happened?"
(Squall blinks out of existence, then reappears behind Lockheart, still staring
at his feet. She moves aside as Sephiroth comes into the town. He stands
in the gates a moment, then turns back. He takes no notice of Squall and
Lockheart as this movie of Squall's memories plays out.)
Sephiroth
"So how does it feel?"
Lockheart
"Five years ago... I saw the real Sephiroth for the very first
time."
Sephiroth
"It's your first time back to your hometown in a long time,
right?"
"So how does it feel?"
"I wouldn't know because I don't have a hometown..."
Squall
"Ummm... how 'bout your parents?"
Lockheart
"So this is... the Great Sephiroth."
Sephiroth
"My mother is Jenova. She died right after she gave birth to me.
My father..."
(He laughs.)
Lockheart
"But to tell you the truth, I thought he was very cold."
Sephiroth
"What does it matter...?"
"All right, let's go."
(He turns and takes a few steps into the town.)
Lockheart
"I remember, I felt a foreboding about him."
(She turns to watch as the Squall of five years ago, flanked by two
soldiers, enters. The soldier on the right stops to occupy the same space
as the present Squall. He walks through the soldier, to the other Squall,
turns, and seems to meld with him as they both occupy the same space. The
present and past Squalls flash subtly. Lockheart shakes her head.)
Lockheart
"No, Squall."
(She turns away.)
Lockheart
"I've been hiding it for some time, afraid that if I told you...
something terrible might happen."
"But, I'm not going to hide anything anymore."
(With a white flash, Sephiroth, the guards, and the past Squall disappear,
leaving only Squall and Lockheart.)
Lockheart
"You weren't here. Squall did not come to Nibelheim five years
ago."
(She turns away. Squall looks at the ground. With a white flash, the Lockheart
of then, in her kawaii cowboy hat, appears, sitting on the ground. She is
slumped over, staring at the ground, perhaps playing with a pebble or a
blade of grass.)
Lockheart
"I... waited. But, Squall... never came."
(The Lockheart of then stands up.)
Lockheart
"The two that were ordered here were Sephiroth and another
person..."
(The Lockheart of then stands up and dashes off into the town, not headed
anywhere in particular. Sephiroth appears before Lockheart once more.)
Sephiroth
"All right, let's go."
(He turns and walks into Nibelheim. As the screen fades to white, we catch
a glimpse of the two soldiers and the young man with black hair, in
Squall's place, follow him.)
Lockheart finally reveals the truth, which she had been afraid of for all this time. Sephiroth’s illusion back on the crater was actually true. Squall wasn’t the one who came to Nibelheim. It was the SOLDIER with black hair. This is the real problem in Squall’s memories.
If only we were so lucky…
(FMV sequence. Squall and Lockheart float up into space as the camera flybys to
the well at Nibelheim , ending focused on the starry night sky. The scene
fades to black.)
Lockheart
"From the beginning... OK?"
(The scene fades in to the well, that night when Lockheart and Squall were just
children. They stand on the well, Squall staring at the ground.)
Lockheart
"Try and remember, Squall."
(Squall, a child, materializes. He is sitting on the edge of the well,
dangling his feet. Then Lockheart, also a child, is there too, sitting across
from him, exactly as on that night long ago.)
**Good call on remembering her wearing clothes. Because we all know what you were really thinking then.**
"That's you, too. You were so small then......"
(She sits down next to her childhood counterpart, who doesn't see her.)
Lockheart
"...and cute."
(She and her younger self both look at their respective versions of Squall,
in perfect sync.)
Lockheart
"Sephiroth once said..."
(The present Lockheart looks down again.)
Lockheart
"Squall made up his memories by listening to my stories...."
(Young Lockheart looks back down. She swings her feet.)
Lockheart
"Did you imagine this sky? No, you remembered it."
(Young Squall shakes his head.)
Lockheart
"That night the stars were gorgeous. It was just Squall and I. We
talked at the well..."
"That's why I continued to believe that you were the real
Squall."
(She looks down. She swings her own feet.)
Lockheart
"I still believe you're the Squall from Nibelheim..."
(In a flash, Young Squall disappears and reappears at the highest structure
of the well, silhouetted against the night sky.)
Lockheart
"But you don't believe in yourself..."
(Lockheart and her child self both cross their legs in perfect sync, as if they
were the same being. The present Lockheart leans back to look up at young
Squall. The screen pans up and fades to white.)
Lockheart
"These memories aren't enough."
The memory of the promise is the first clue toward Squall’s identity. It was seven years ago, earlier than when it was claimed he was created. He and Lockheart recalled it at the same time back in the bar, meaning he couldn’t have just made it up right then or by listening to any stories. This memory was the main reason Lockheart held out hope that he was real.
Lockheart
"No, not memories."
"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled,
right?"
"That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different
thing......"
(She looks down, into the endless green space.)
Lockheart
"But it's different from a memory locked deep within your
heart......"
"That's why it must be a fake. If he could recall up that
memory......"
"That's it! What about some memory that has to do with me?"
(She turns to the Squall of the well.)
Lockheart
"I say something and you don't remember it......"
"But you say something, and I remember it, too... Then we'll know
that's our memory......"
(She nods)
Lockheart
"Talk to me. About anything, some important memory to you..."
"Now that you mention it, why did you want to join SOLDIER in the
first place?"
"I always thought it was a sudden decision you made......"
(Suddenly, the transparent Squall high above speaks. Lockheart doesn't hear.)
"......I was devastated. ......I wanted to be noticed."
(The Squall of the well echoes these same words.)
"......I was devastated. ......I wanted to be noticed."
(The next words come only from the Squall of the well.)
"I thought if I got stronger I could get someone to
notice........."
(Lockheart nods.)
Lockheart
"Someone has to notice you...? ......who?"
"Lockheart...... did you forget...... about those days?"
(She turns away)
Lockheart
"Look...... I......"
(She shakes her head)
Lockheart
"I'm sorry...... But what are you talking about?"
(For the first time, we see Squall, as a teenager, leap down from a high
stone column near the place where Nibelheim once could be seen.)
"No...... it's all right. You were having a hard time back then."
(Teenage Squall looks down.)
"You were so busy with your own things, it's only natural you
don't remember me back then."
(Lockheart walks over to him.)
Lockheart
"'Back then'?"
"It's important to me...... I hate to say it but...... It's a
very important memory......"
"Do you want to see it?"
Lockheart feels that Squall should try and recall a more specific memory. One she’ll know is true. That she’ll remember after he says it. That’ll be a bigger clue. This discussion here gives some insight as to why Squall left Nibelheim to begin with. He wanted to be noticed, more specifically by Lockheart. D’awww. So, what is the important memory that he doesn’t wish to recall?
Squall has a window to Lockheart’s room in his mind. Creepy.
Squall
"It was my first time there."
Lockheart
"Was... it?"
Squall
"I only used to look up at it from outside."
(The screen flashes white. A teenage Lockheart is now sitting on the floor at
the foot of her bed, her head bowed on her knees.. Three boys are standing
around her.)
"Hey, look!"
(The camera moves to show Lockheart's window. One of the boys looks out of it.)
"Squall's coming!"
(Through the window, we see Young Squall come running up the path. The boy
turns to Lockheart.)
"You think he wants to come in?"
(Lockheart looks up a moment, then puts her head back down on her knees. The
present Lockheart speaks.)
Lockheart
"Was that the first day you came into my room?"
(Another boy walks up to Lockheart.)
Lockheart
"...that's right."
"We lived next to each other."
"But I really didn't know you that well."
(The third boy comes up.)
Lockheart
"I've known you since we were children and I always thought we
were close..."
(The teenage Lockheart looks up, shakes her head, then bows it back down. The
camera switches back to the overhead view of Lockheart's room.)
Lockheart
"Now that you mention it... I don't recall you ever being in my
room..."
(Young Squall nods.)
"Lockheart always used to be with this three-some."
Lockheart
"...That's right."
(Young Squall turns away.)
"I used to think... they were all stupid."
(Lockheart spins to face him.)
Lockheart
"What?"
(He turns back to face Lockheart.)
"You were all childish, laughing at every little stupid thing."
(She turns to look at her former self and friends, then back to Young
Squall.)
Lockheart
"But we were children, back then."
(He turns away slowly.)
"...I know. I'm the one that was stupid."
"I really wanted to play with everyone, but I was never allowed
into the group."
(He turns to face Lockheart dead-on.)
"Then later... I began to think I was different..."
"That I was different from those immature kids."
(He turns away.)
"That then... maybe..."
(A double of the adult Squall, motionless up to this point, materializes.
It stands, flashing in and out of existence. Then it speaks. Young Squall
doesn't seem to notice.)
"Just maybe, they would invite me in."
(Lockheart spins to face the double.)
"I thought that might happen, so I hung around..."
(Young Squall speaks.)
"I was so prejudiced. And... weak."
(The double speaks again.)
"That night I called Lockheart out to the well..."
"I thought to myself Lockheart would never come, that she hated me."
(Lockheart nods.)
Lockheart
"Yeah... it was so sudden. I was... a bit surprised."
(She turns to face Young Squall.)
Lockheart
"But..."
"It's true that we weren't THAT close, but..."
(She turns to face her young self.)
Lockheart
"After you left town, I really thought about you a lot."
(She holds her face in her hands.)
"I used to wonder how Squall was doing."
"I wonder if Squall was able to get into SOLDIER?"
(She spins back to face Young Squall.)
Lockheart
"I started reading the newspapers, thinking that there might be an
article about you."
(Young Squall looks down.)
"Thanks, Lockheart."
"Tell him what you told me, later. He'll probably be so happy."
(Lockheart nods)
Lockheart
"OK!"
"Huh?"
(She looks at the double, then the original adult Squall, then back to
Young Squall.)
Lockheart
"What happened on this day? Was it a special day?"
(Young Squall does a little hop)
"This was the day..."
(After a long pause, the double speaks.)
"Lockheart's mother..."
(The screen fades to white.)
It seems Squall and Lockheart knew each other as kids, but weren’t friends per se. Mainly because Squall was a little bitch and thought her friends were dumb little kids. Which they were. Secretly, he wanted to be a part of their group. He decided he’d leave to join SOLDIER. Maybe then, she’d notice him. It seems like it half worked. After he left, she thought about him all the time, even checking the papers. But the day he was remembering had something different about it. Something that made Lockheart just sit and sulk in the corner of her room.
After running out of her room stating she wants to see her mother, we come to a familiar path toward Mt. Nibel.
Fucking candy canes and gumdrops. What the fuck does it look like? Concentrated death, I say.
(The camera pans down to show Lockheart, surrounded by her three friends, on
the mountain path. One looks ahead at the mountain, then back to Lockheart.)
"Mt. Nibel is scary. Many people have died there."
"No one crosses that mountain alive..."
(Lockheart turns to face the boy. She spreads her arms skyward.)
Lockheart
"How 'bout those that died?"
(She turns.)
Lockheart
"Did mama pass through the mountains?"
(Lockheart walks a little way along the path, then turns back.)
Lockheart
"I'm going!"
(She spins on her heel and heads down the path. Her friends follow. Two
of them pause, consult with each other, then one of the them turns and
goes running home. He bumps into Squall, who had been following, on the
way. Squall runs along the path, pauses to look ahead at Lockheart and her two
remaining friends continuing, then keeps following, out of sight. The
scene fades to the bridge across the deep gorge. Lockheart walks resolutely
across it. Her two friends look at each other, then turn tail and run
home, again brushing past Squall. Apprehensively, he takes a step onto the
bridge, then, without looking back, goes sprinting across it. The screen
fades to black. When it fades in again, we see young Lockheart and young Squall
lying crumpled on a white screen. Lockheart and Squall look on. A black
silhouette of an adult Squall stands in the center. Lockheart goes up to the
dark Squall.)
"I don't remember what path I walked."
"Lockheart missed her step. I ran to her... but didn't make it in
time."
"Both of us fell off the cliff."
"Back then, I only scarred my knees, but......"
(Lockheart's father and another man from the village come running onscreen,
shocked. Lockheart's father picks her up in his arms, while the other screams
at young Squall.)
"Squall! Why'd you bring Lockheart to a place like this!"
(Squall pulls himself up on one elbow.)
"What the hell's the matter with you!?"
(Lockheart's father carries her off.)
"What if she dies!?"
(He walks after Lockheart's father, leaving Squall sitting on the ground. The
dark Squall speaks again.)
"Lockheart was in a coma for seven days."
"We all thought she wouldn't make it."
"If only I could've saved her..."
"I was so angry... Angry at myself for my weakness."
"Ever since then, I felt Lockheart blamed me..."
"I got out of control... I'd get into fights not even caring who
it was."
(The screen fades to black.)
"That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth."
"If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might..."
Lockheart was a pretty stupid kid. She ventured into the mountains with her friends, who quickly abandon her. Nice friends. Squall goes after her, only for them to fall off part of the mountain. Squall manages to only skin his knees, but Lockheart goes into a coma for a week. Lockheart’s father blames it on Squall for taking her up there, which is pretty fucking retarded. You’re the one who never properly taught your daughter not to go wandering in ominous mountains alone.
I have to wonder why they didn’t get attacked by monsters while out there, but there seems to be a suggestion that mako reactors create monsters, and if the reactor wasn’t there yet, maybe none existed yet either.
Anyways, this event turned Squall kind of emo, making him get into fights and hate himself, even though he didn’t even do anything wrong. He decided he’d be strong like Sephiroth, then like, he’d be able to stop people from dying. Typical childish dreams.
You should be, bitch. You let him take the heat for your retardation. And don’t use your coma as an excuse! With any luck, Squall made good use of that coma as payment.
(The adult Squall shakes his head.)
"It's not your fault, Lockheart."
(She turns away.)
Lockheart
"But, I remember back when we were eight!"
(She nods)
Lockheart
"That's it! Now I know!"
(She turns back to him)
Lockheart
"You weren't created five years ago."
"My childhood memories weren't all made up!"
(She turns to the dark Squall, then to the other.)
Lockheart
"Hang in there Squall! Just a little longer! You've almost found
the real you!"
(Both Squalls nod, then touch their faces, in perfect sync, as the same
being.)
Lockheart
"Let's go back to Nibelheim again......!"
Lockheart remembers that, too. This proving that he couldn’t have been created five years ago. But there are still a few holes in the story left. We go back to fucking Nibelheim a-fucking-gain. My god, I want to burn it down, now.
A familiar scene which we all hate Sephiroth for. You never take a sword to such delicious funbags. I don’t care how insane you are.
Ah it’s this fashion disaster again. It’s finally revealed. He’s Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class and Mary Sue’s old boyfriend. The loose ends are being connected. It explains why Mary was infatuated with Squall so quickly.
If he’s smart, enjoying a nice soda pop somewhere away from all the crazy.
But we all know Squall and smart go together like chocolate cake and wasabi. The shots didn’t come out well, but after running in after Sephiroth, Zack gets flung back out like a ragdoll two seconds later. The shadowy figure takes his sword and dashes in. Gee I wonder who it could be? I’m guessing… Idiot Bowling Savant? He’s my hero so it certainly would be fitting for him to be the hero of the world, too.
For being basically a superhuman, Sephiroth just allows himself to be run in the back by this pansy grunt. Pay attention, fucker!
‘I was going to grow up and destroy all bridges for YOU. BECAUSE I KNEW HOW MUCH YOU HATE BRIDGES.
…BUT NOT JEFF BRIDGES BECAUSE HE’S THE DUDE.’
Haha, you look like such a douche.
Chekin’ that ass the whole time.
‘Listen, don’t ever tell me to take off my Bob Dole mask. I don’t tell you to stop doing the things you enjoy. You know, like square dancing.’
"I... never made it as a member of SOLDIER."
(The carsick Squall slumps down as Zack walks energetically around the back
of the truck, doing squat thrusts and the like.)
Squall
"I even left my hometown telling everyone I was going to join,
but..."
"I was so embarrassed...... I didn't want to see anybody."
(The scene fades to the gates of Nibeheim. Sephiroth enters the town,
followed by Zack, flanked by two guards. One guard is Squall; he has
forgotten his helmet. He runs offscreen, then returns, masked.)
Sephiroth
"How does it feel?"
"It's your first time back to your hometown in a long time,
right?"
(The scene fades to the Nibelheim courtyard. Every building is in flames.
The guard that was lying outside of Squall's house moves a little.)
Squall
"I'm..."
(The scene fades to the pod room at the Nibel reactor. Squall, his helmet
off, exits Jenova's room.)
Lockheart
"...You came. ...You kept your promise."
(Squall comes down the stairs and lifts Lockheart's broken body. He gently
lays her down against one of the pods.)
Lockheart
"So you really did come when I was in trouble!"
Squall
"Sorry... I didn't get there... fast enough..."
Lockheart
"It's all right... Squall."
So, Squall really was at Nibelheim five years ago, just as one of those expendable grunts we’ve been slaughtering all game. I find something a bit curious here. In the earlier shot, as Squall is stabbing Sephiroth, Sephiroth asks who it is, but here above, he’s specifically speaking to Squall with that “It’s your first time back in your hometown” talk. So uh, he must know something about who it is. Maybe since Squall still had the mask on during the stabbing, but it still seems odd to me. Anyways, hey look at this, despite his memories being somewhat of a fabrication, a lot of his story was still true in a sense. Especially the part about keeping that goddamn promise Lockheart kept going on about. Maybe now that’ll be the end of hearing about it.
That’s Jenova’s head he’s carrying there. So, he was the one who decapitated her. If this doesn’t prove he’s a fucking nutcase, I don’t know what does. I’m not sure what he thought to accomplish by just… taking her head…
‘’kay’
‘I’ve come… to bill you.
Wait wait… Shit, I always mess up under pressure!’
‘Agh, this is completely not the ideal situation I wish to be in!’
Wow, that looks… uncomfortable.
Squall is impaled and lifted into the air on a sword, only to push himself back down and grab the blade with his hands…
Then… picks Sephiroth with it…
And tosses him into the sea of Mako below… Alright, I’m not gonna joke here, that’s actually pretty badass of him (though you’d think Sephiroth could have just uh, let go of the sword). Completely implausible given their differences in strength, but I guess adrenaline does some crazy shit to you when you want to avenge your town, family and friends.
So, this is where Sephiroth dies. It could be considered his true death, because whatever he comes back as in the Northern Crater isn’t quite him any longer. Corrupted by Jenova. I think the explanation is he gets submerged into the Lifestream and carried to the Northern Crater with Jenova’s head, allowing her to “revive” him and why they’re sort of merged. I guess. Someone else might be able to explain it better.
Back in the marshmallow room…
Lockheart
"Squall......"
(Young Squall turns to her.)
"Then... this is goodbye, Lockheart. Until we meet again......"
(He stands straight. The three Squalls guarding Nibelheim, the well, and
the window, translucent, all stand in unison.)
Lockheart
"............!?"
(The three Squalls turn and walk forward, forming a triangle around Young
Squall. One by one, each steps forward, fusing with his body with a small
metallic sound. The camera pans up, and the writhing, transparent Squall
high above, floats back down to earth with a hig-pitched whine. He lands
crumpled before Lockheart. She kneels next to him.)
Lockheart
"Squall!!"
(He tries to stand.)
Squall
"Uh...... Ah, Uh......!"
(He flashes brightly, then loses the transparency in his body. He sits up.)
Squall
"Yeah...... Lockheart...... We finally...... meet again......"
(He stands.)
Lockheart
"You stupid jerk!! You had us all worried sick!!"
(He crumples to the ground.)
Squall
"Krgh......!"
(She kneels down.)
Lockheart
"Squall!? Are you all right!?"
(We hear the cry of the planet.
Squall
"V, voice...... Their......"
(She shakes her head.)
Lockheart
"I see. We're... in the Lifestream aren't we?"
"Everyone's waiting."
"Let's go back, Squall. Back to everyone......"
Squall
"Yeah, I guess so... Come on, Lockheart. Let's go home......"
(He stands. The screen fades to black. When it fades in again, we see
Squall and Lockheart float upwards through the green of the Lifestream. The
screen fades to white.)
The memories of Squall reform. Looks like we’ve seen the last of Fredrick Picklemier, and we’ve got our now ex-junkie, Jailbait loving, buddy back! Huzzah! The pair just casually float out of the Lifestream like it’s no big.
‘Well yea. You had some of our materia…’
Then just what good are you?
Indeed. Mostly regarding underage, tomboy ninjas.
Woah hold on, are we already on step 9? Have you been using the Cliff Notes version of the 12 step process? Or is it only for alcoholics?
FIRE DOG
"Don't say anything, Squall. All you've been doing is apologizing."
(He nods to FIRE DOG, then looks down at his feet.)
Squall
"I never was in SOLDIER."
"I made up the stories about what happened to me five years ago,
about being in SOLDIER."
"I left my village looking for glory, but never made it in to
SOLDIER......"
"I was so ashamed of being so weak; then I heard this story from
my friend Zack..."
"And I greated an illusion of myself made up of what I had seen
in my life....."
"And I continued to play the charade as if it were true."
(He straightens and nods.)
Loaf
"Illusion, huh...? Pretty damn strong for a 'lusion, I'd say."
(He nods to Loaf.)
Squall
"I'm physically built like someone on SOLDIER."
"Hojo's plan to clone Sephiroth wasn't that difficult."
"It was just the same procedure they use when creating members of
SOLDIER."
(He shrugs)
Squall
"You see, someone in SOLDIER isn't simply exposed to Mako energy."
"Their bodies are actually injected with Jenova cells......"
"For better or for worse, only the strong can enter SOLDIER."
"It has nothing to do with the Jenova Reunion."
"But weak people...... like me, get lost in the whole thing."
(He looks up.)
Squall
"The combination of Jenova cells, Sephiroth's strong will, and my
own weaknesses are what created me."
"Everyone knew that. I'm...... Squall."
(He shakes his head sadly.)
Squall
"......the master of my own illusionary world."
"But I can't remain trapped in an illusion any more......"
"I'm going to live my life without pretending."
Lockheart
"You're sure messed up, Squall!"
Loaf
"That means there ain't no difference from before!"
(Squall rubs his head.)
Not A Spy
"By the way, Squall. What are you going to do now?"
"Don't tell me you're going to leave the ship?"
Squall
"......I'm the reason why Meteor is falling towards us."
(He nods)
Squall
"That's why I have to do everything in my power to fight this
thing."
Loaf
"Good!! Then you're gonna keep fightin' to save the planet!?"
The truth comes out. Squall was never in SOLDIER. He hid it because he was ashamed. Manufactured a story from things he heard from Zack combined with his own experiences. He wasn’t created five years ago, but he was a part of the Sephiroth clone project, injected with Jenova cells. This is why he still has the glowing Mako eyes that members of SOLDIER have. His weakness couldn’t handle it well, however, and that’s why Sephiroth had partial control over him.
But he’s sober now. We’re back on track. He’s not giving up because he feels like it’s his fault, which it kinda is.
No. No no no. Stop.
SHUT UP, YOU WORTHLESS FLAMING QUADRUPED.
I HATE ALL OF YOU.
By the way, one of you fucked up (Probably Loaf. It would be like him to mess up his own saying). Nice work.
God, all we need is a freeze-frame cheer with bloom and brush strokes going on and we’ve fulfilled a whole set of cheesy clichés.
I'd argue that it wasn't just adrenaline... at least, not in the Last Order OVA, since Cloud's eyes turn the same green as those with Jenova cells... which is highly possible, since Sephiroth just stabbed him with the same sword he used to decapitate Jenova, and given that he currently has a gaping chest wound, I somehow doubt he would've thought to clean his blade. But whatever...
I bet Barret was the one who fucked up the whole 'train' thing... "Huh? What did I say? Oh, right! The train we on do-... wait, the hell are you guys saying sumthin differe-... Shi't, you busted up my rhythm!"
...At which point Adus runs him over with the train from Corel.
BlitzAce1981 on
PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
That right there is the only really good bit of storytelling the game has, luckily it is a doozy. It's all down hill from here.
Yeah, your theory on Sephiroth is basically the one most people stick to. He died, fell into the lifestream, and the Jenova cells in him or in the head started this crazy plan. Could be just the head for all we know. He more or less killed the real Sephiroth, making him the new Big Boss.
It makes Squall a pretty likeable fellow in the end.
According to the script I use to fill in long dialogue portions it IS Loaf who messes it up, but there's no indication. Maybe the dialogue boxes go by character placement and it's pretty obvious the other two people saying it are Lockheart and Squall who are at the top. So that's pretty amusing that he doesn't even get his own saying right.
I also need to remember to turn Match Case on my replacement tool in Word, because everytime I change Cid to Banana, every instance of the word "decided" suddenly gets changed to "deBananaed" though it is a pretty awesome word.
And yeah, tossing Sephiroth into the Mako with his own sword was always awesome, and the music really works wonders. Wish that wasn't lost in the translation to screenshot but oh well. It's a bit saddening that this is all in the past and before Squall decides to dress up like a woman to avoid a little commotion... And yeah I haven't seen Last Order. The only FF7 thing I've seen outside the game is Advent Children. It might have been better if I had played/seen everything in order to perhaps clear up plot holes, but honestly I think leaving them in and realizing that for a long time there was no clarification is amusing on its own.
Though you have to admit for all the little things the game does a pretty decent job of tying everything together here. Clues that had been dropped since the very first hour of the game.
Isn't "deBananaed" what happened to Reno after he jumped off of the pillar? It would certainly explain why Rude didn't ask him who he liked, since it wouldn't really matter at that point...
Despite Last Order being awesome, it's the only instance where Sephiroth isn't flung into the mako; he jumps in of his own free will. This got re-retconned in Crisis Core back to what we know, only with Genesis being retconned in when Zack and Sephiroth first investigate the reactor.
BlitzAce1981 on
PSN ID - BlitzAce1981 FFXIV - Raiden Solitaire (Sargatanas)
I thought Crisis Core for the most part was pretty good. I thought the ending was done really well, especially considering everyone knows what was going to happen.
Fighting off the endless (not sure if there was a point where it stopped or you had to die) was awesome in my opinion, and a great way for Zack to go
I liked Zack more as a character after playing it.
KorKnown to detonate from time to timeRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
I know they hint at the Cloud/Jenova/Zack stuff since the very beginning, mostly with the flashes of white here and there, but one thing has never been explained to me, and I can't figure it out for the life of me.
Its in the first 10 minutes of the game.
Approaching the first reactor, Cloud stand upright and you hear that humming noise, and then a narrator voice says, "Watch out, this isn't just a reactor"
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it trying to say its a path of things to come? Is it just lost in translation from the moon speak?
Seriously, I'm utterly confused who says that line in the first reactor... Is it the "true" Cloud, who's warning him of getting involved? Is it Jenova/Sephiroth for whatever reason? I have no idea. Oh well. It was probably just some scene to establish that something's wrong with our spikey-haired psycho.
By the way- although it really IS an awesome scene, that sword-lifting completely broke immersion for me. The set-up, the music, all perfect... But this silly move... I mean, com'on, the sword moves like a fucking seasaw. The only explanation for why Cloud's little trick works is that he was pumped up with adrenaline like crazy, and Sephiroth was frozen with shock. So frozen, actually, that he holds on to the blade and musters up the strength to keep himself up.
Seriously- imagine that scene in more realistic cutscenes. It's downright impossible, and silly at the least...
I guess that makes me one of the unwashed videogame heavens, he.
Yeah I wasn't sure about the line either. An Advent Children FAQ has something about it:
*Q: Just what DID that "Watch out! This isn't just a reactor!" line early in
the game mean?
*A: Translated literally from Japanese, the line would be "Eye increase as for
this there is no simply a power plant!" Obviously, "Eye increase" became
"Watch out!" and "...as for this there is no simply a power plant!" became
"This isn't just a reactor!" As far as the context of the situation goes,
"Open your eyes!" or "Take notice!" would work better in English than "Watch
out!", as this was the first of many attempts by Cloud's subconscious to get
him to remember the truth of his past (for more on that, refer to the "The
Identity of the Voice in Cloud's Head" article in the "Theories and In-Depth
Analysis" section of this document). Note that the next time Cloud is in that
same area of a Mako Reactor, he has a flashback (the first of several) to Tifa
cradling her father's dead body in Nibelheim's Mako Reactor.
To clarify, the voice is telling Cloud that as far as the Reactor's personal
significance to him goes, it is more than just a place that supplies
electricity ("This isn't just a reactor!").
Yeah, but it looks like the Nibelheim reactor, which wasn't just a reactor.
That's basically the explanation, s'far as I can tell, since [strike]Cloud[/strike] Squall has his second "Shit is going down" moment way back in the second reactor they hit it right after the first. That they're all identical at that point, pretty much, is probably enough.
Yeah, even though it's a side bit, I hope you do the mansion part that explains Zack and Cloud's relationship/experimentation story... there may be some here who never did that part.
That's pretty interesting. I had no idea. See, another reason why I might not be the best person to LP this is I pretty much don't know any tricks like that, or trivia, or well, much of anything apart from having played the game like 10 times over more than 8 years ago! Oh well, at least the thread allows people like you who do know those things to still make them known.
But to be honest, it still wouldn't have helped me for that particular battle because he never even used Ultima Beam on me. He got one Quake 2 off before flying away. I honestly think I'm leveled up enough to beat the game already.
Dragged out from two pages ago, because filthy, dirty lies like this need to be called out.
This LP is the best thing ever. That is all.
Also, seconded on the part in the mansion. It really adds to the Cloud/ Zack stuff.
a penguin on
This space eventually to be filled with excitement
Posts
Part 24: Flight of the Condors
We arrive at the Corel reactor in time to murder a couple of soldiers minding their own business and watch a train leave. Hey… that had Huge Materia on it. Shit! What are we gonna do now?
Oh, we just steal our own train. How convenient of them to leave one for us. The timer begins as this is apparently how long we have before the train reaches Corel. Banana then proves he must be some sort of goddamn superhero because not only did he chase after an airplane on foot, he now makes this 50 foot jump like it was nothing.
Hopping across the cars, we fight various enemies until we come to what appears to be the White Ranger’s Falconzord. It’s easily dispatched with a few Bolt 3’s.
At the very end, we make the brilliant move of killing the guy driving the train. Banana isn’t quite sure how to slow it down. So glad we decided to think before acting. At least Jailbait has her priorities straight.
It should? How do you know? Is this really how trains work? Nonetheless, this “game” is ridiculous. For some reason I couldn’t get the controls working right on my keyboard, so I pretty much just flailed on the keys like an idiot. Spoiler: I still won.
No matter what I do, the train just keeps speeding up. Despite this, at the very last second, Banana ducks and hits down on both the levers.
And the train eases to a stop. Hooray, we saved… uh, what did we save exactly?
Oh, these fuckers. It seems as if the whole intent here was to stop the train from plowing through the village. They all act like Shinra are monsters for considering this, but I think maybe next time you shouldn’t build your village on fucking train tracks, morons.
So we successfully retrieved the Huge Materia despite my principles telling me not to. The player in me knows what they’re used for later (not a whole lot).
With people like this, I’m beginning to think that I’m collecting the Huge Materia because I want Shinra to fail and for this planet to die.
Fuck off. I don’t want something from some stupi-
Sweet Jesus! This kid just casually handed me the strongest magic materia in the world. First one from a goddamn chicken, now this? Where’s all this conveniently strong materia before?
Alright, I guess that made all this marginally productive. Next we’re off to Fort Condor.
You’ll see in a few moments what he’s talking about, but this Fort Condor place is pretty weird. It’s built on top of a really unrealistic geographic terrain.
For some reason this includes a reactor. Another example of Shinra just building reactors wherever the fuck they feel like. Oh, and also a big condor. I uh… yep.
Thanks for the info. Can we have it, please?
Is that really their plan? I think Shinra would probably just leave if you gave them the Huge Materia. No reason to be so overdramatic…
Okay, let them? Shit, I don’t get you people at all.
And we would like you to fuck off and die. I’m not paying to help you. That is retarded.
There’s the top of the reactor with the condor. It looks like a statue but apparently it’s alive.
The object of this minigame is to buy units and place them on the field. It has sort of a Wacraft Tower Defense thing going on. I probably should have done it just to show you, but honestly I was just way too lazy. The event is 100x faster if you do nothing and let the enemies get to the top. I like to imagine the observing man’s face in total despair as he watches me scratch my ass and do absolutely nothing to stop the incoming onslaught.
As soon as one enemy reaches the top, you just fight a boss battle with Grand Horn. An easy as shit boss battle. An easy as shit boss battle that you don’t even get a game over for even if you DO lose. So basically the easiest event in the entire game. Obviously I kill it, nonetheless, and you win the whole event without even having done the defense portion.
Then suddenly…
Ooo, pretty.
Holy hellmuffins!
Well this seems… unfortunate. All our “work” to protect the condor and that weird egg it was protecting explodes and kills it anyway…
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Please tell me you just handed me your abnormal, fused rock collection…
Because we are Teh Heroz! Or some bullshit like that…
Yeah!...
I don’t know… Is it?
You guys didn’t hear any of that because it wasn’t said. I didn’t say anything.’
Yeah gee, that’s a real bummer. Hey, what’s up with that eye exam back there? How do you even take that? Uh, first line… backwards C. E. C that is turned… upward. Second line… A in a green box… C turned downward in a red box… Just a normal C in a yellow box… Ridiculous. (I've since been informed that it's a standard Japanese eye exam. Damn crazy Japanese.)
Oh, the Airship? Well, I made that because it is the essence of manliness. A woman wouldn’t understand.’
Suddenly, the ground begins to quake.
To take me away, ha ha!
For some reason I got really bad screenshots of him, but here we are facing Ultimate Weapon. Though he’s hardly Ultimate at all. While he does do some attacks like Quake that aren’t exactly weak, he’s more bark than bite. Regardless, this is a fight you don’t win in a normal sense because after a certain amount of damage, he flies off and you get no experience or AP. Pussy.
Banana actually tells the others to take care of themselves first. Maybe he is cut out to be our leader.
Okay, we’re ready to roll out!
Woah god! Oh well. Good riddance Dr. Idiot.
Sploosh!
Cue Blue Danube.
Lockheart awakens in a black void.
Some trippy noises are heard in the background, including the cries of the planet which we heard at Bugenhagen’s observatory.
We progress to a bunch of random lines by Lockheart. Answering questions that you never saw asked to begin with.
Special guest director Hidaeki Anno (of Neon Genesis Evangelion fame) says it just isn’t a complete story without a mind fuck!
Is your mind fucked yet? No?! Well… We’ll see what we can do about that!
Try and analyze this!
Hooookay… What?
Squall’s subconscious… How the hell do you just end up in someone else’s mind? I sort of fear what we may find here. Thoughts of Jailbait doing things that are illegal in all… uh, well… everywhere.
I dunno… That depends on what the real Squall is like. The one we had was kinda growing on me.
Anyhow, we’ve arrived at a major point in the game for storyline exposition. It’s also pretty long, boring and wordy much like Squall’s story early on if you know what it’s all about. Honestly, I have no idea how I’m going to summarize it, or make it entertaining at all, but I’ll try.
Next time on Final Fantasy VII:
Time to descend…
Into the thoughts of our hero…
What lurks in that troubled mind…?
What are the true desires that are hidden deep in those glowing eyes…?
Not that any of them knew it would, though, so Barret's still a moron who may as well just go around shouting "I'm Barret fucking Wallace of AVALANCHE. Don't believe ShinRa's lies!"
EDIT - Fuck, wasn't expecting you to carry on past the Ultimate WEAPON fight... since it means the following tip will be completely useless to you now; Elemental materia linked with something with no element (not all of them work, but stuff like HP Plus and MP Plus do for certain), shove them in your armor, then laugh at how ineffective Ultima Beam is...
But to be honest, it still wouldn't have helped me for that particular battle because he never even used Ultima Beam on me. He got one Quake 2 off before flying away. I honestly think I'm leveled up enough to beat the game already.
Or at least, I thought it was... what, five years ago?
It is until you're OCD and keep going back to try to win every single one of those through the course of the game.
I don't recommend that.
Really? I never had a problem with it as a kid. In fact, after every single story event I would head all the way back to Condor and see if there was a new battle yet.
Also amongst all the "?????" moments of FF7 (which are really intensely being highlighted for me thanks to Adus) one of the bigger ones was...well, good GOD the people at Corel are stupid. Why the hell would you build your town in the middle of a functional railway???? Also, I still don't understand why our heroes decided to stop Shinra when they both had the same goal.
"Deeeeeerrrrrrp....." is also my favourite line of this update.
I actually never paid attention to how silly it was (and many other things), so my reaction in the update was pretty much my actual reaction while playing this current playthrough (and most of the other reactions. Albeit they're exaggerated for humor purposes). Though after all of it, I'm still enjoying playing again. The LP would have been painful had playing been a chore, but I look forward to it each time (except this next one. Stupid Lifestream), so obviously I still really enjoy the game. I hope reading this doesn't straight up ruin it for anyone because even after finding out these things, it's still a favorite of mine. At the core, the story is still interesting and who knows how many of these flubs are just due to poor translation and the like? All the more reason why we need a remake.
In regards to Corel being retarded... I dunno. I remember the first time I walked those tracks, and I never thought they were functional. They had holes in them everywhere. I always thought it was supposed to be a surprise, like, holy shit shinra is actually using these tracks? Are they (still) retarded!?
Ft. Condor is most certainly the most retarded of the bunch. For some reason, a group of people that hate shinra decided to live inside of one of their reactors... yeah... that makes sense.
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
I still think they could have built the village like at least a few yards away from the tracks. It's not like they had some expert design plan going on that required what they created.
Regarding what you said about the Huge Materia:
No one has yet made any revelation about the Huge Materia, so right now it literally is our team just deciding to stop Shinra for the sake of stopping Shinra, despite the fact that this plan is currently their only hope.
Besides, that theory of Cloud's ends up being wrong anyways. Meteor doesn't get stopped even by Sephiroth's defeat. Nor does the Huge Materia have any effect on Holy+Lifestream stopping it since the ending is the same whether it blew up in the rocket or not. But this is moot since they're not psychic and them not being psychic is my point as to why them trying to stop Shinra here is dumb.
But that's not really a story part of the huge materia
Is FFVII spoiler proof now? Awe, whatever.
Whether ShinRa's plan to bust up meteor was in line with the party's, I wouldn't trust them not to kill anyone who happened to be around regardless of if those people were in their way.
OTOH, what use is saving a couple towns when the whole world is fucked.
Oh, and since I'm here, thanks Adus for an awesome thread. First LP I've read and its always entertaining.
You're right though. There are reasons to assume Shinra is evil enough to just fuck up some towns even if they did hand over the Materia, but these reasons are Sector 7 and Corel mainly. Sector 7 you could make arguments about. AVALANCHE wasn't totally innocent themselves, as a few lines of dialogue make mention how their bombs kill a lot of people, too. They consider it for the greater good. Shinra breaks the pillar over Sector 7 to get back at them, probably using the same logic that any casualties were for the greater good.
Corel is a strange one. You never really figure out what causes the explosion in the reactor that results in the town being burnt down. The reason Corel may have hated Loaf was because Shinra told them all he did it, since he wasn't in town he was the scapegoat. It simply brings up another line of stupidity in the citizens as to why they'd believe the company that burnt down their town over a guy who lived there with his wife. Regardless, I'm getting a bit off track. The point is, it's possible they really believed the reactor explosion was caused by someone there. Hell, maybe Dyne did it since he hated them for being there. So that was their payback. Not that it was the right way to do it, but it would at least suggest they don't just kill people for absolutely no reason. Hence my assumption that if Ft. Condor handed over the materia, they might not have done anything.
Still, like it was stated above, it is rather stupid of the people to just build their home around a reactor anyways. The whole condor stuff is incredibly vague. Maybe you learn more going there at earlier points in the game, but I didn't particularly care to waste my time.
And once again thanks to everyone that supports this. It would have been easy to get discouraged and quit if no one had posted. I was even hesitant to promise I'd finish at first, but I can pretty much assure you I will now assuming my computer doesn't explode.
These spoilers are actually relevant to other FF games though:
To be honest, its one of the better explanations I've seen. Of course, then you have to wonder how Barret came to respect them... but whatever.
What always bothered me about Corel though, is you've got North Corel and regular Corel. North Corel being the idiots living at the end of the train tracks, and regular Corel being that town in the middle of the desert below Gold Saucer. When Barret has his flash back, it shows regular Corel going up in flames. So what the hell happened to N. Corel? Don't tell me that town originally stretched that whole span, because that'd make it bigger than midgar. :P
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
Apparently rain was sparse in those parts.
If North Corel is a refuge camp why would the city be so far away from the reactor in the first place? Not only does the rail road track run for miles (I mean, you get 10 minutes to stop it, right?), but then the city isn't even by the train tracks, it's in the middle of a forest long walk away from the train station. They must have been mining coal from the mountains 500km away. The logistics of that city make absolutely no sense.
I had assumed the city had developed around there due to the Gold Saucer tramway thing. And that still doesn't make any sense.
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
If you don't really care, or know about it already, then it'll be a pretty quick skim. I didn't try too hard to make a lot of jokes because I just wanted to move past this and get on with the game.
Part 25: Stream of Consciousness
I have discovered that when in doubt on titles, turn to Dream Theater songs.
Lockheart finally reveals the truth, which she had been afraid of for all this time. Sephiroth’s illusion back on the crater was actually true. Squall wasn’t the one who came to Nibelheim. It was the SOLDIER with black hair. This is the real problem in Squall’s memories.
If only we were so lucky…
The memory of the promise is the first clue toward Squall’s identity. It was seven years ago, earlier than when it was claimed he was created. He and Lockheart recalled it at the same time back in the bar, meaning he couldn’t have just made it up right then or by listening to any stories. This memory was the main reason Lockheart held out hope that he was real.
Lockheart feels that Squall should try and recall a more specific memory. One she’ll know is true. That she’ll remember after he says it. That’ll be a bigger clue. This discussion here gives some insight as to why Squall left Nibelheim to begin with. He wanted to be noticed, more specifically by Lockheart. D’awww. So, what is the important memory that he doesn’t wish to recall?
Squall has a window to Lockheart’s room in his mind. Creepy.
It seems Squall and Lockheart knew each other as kids, but weren’t friends per se. Mainly because Squall was a little bitch and thought her friends were dumb little kids. Which they were. Secretly, he wanted to be a part of their group. He decided he’d leave to join SOLDIER. Maybe then, she’d notice him. It seems like it half worked. After he left, she thought about him all the time, even checking the papers. But the day he was remembering had something different about it. Something that made Lockheart just sit and sulk in the corner of her room.
After running out of her room stating she wants to see her mother, we come to a familiar path toward Mt. Nibel.
Fucking candy canes and gumdrops. What the fuck does it look like? Concentrated death, I say.
Lockheart was a pretty stupid kid. She ventured into the mountains with her friends, who quickly abandon her. Nice friends. Squall goes after her, only for them to fall off part of the mountain. Squall manages to only skin his knees, but Lockheart goes into a coma for a week. Lockheart’s father blames it on Squall for taking her up there, which is pretty fucking retarded. You’re the one who never properly taught your daughter not to go wandering in ominous mountains alone.
I have to wonder why they didn’t get attacked by monsters while out there, but there seems to be a suggestion that mako reactors create monsters, and if the reactor wasn’t there yet, maybe none existed yet either.
Anyways, this event turned Squall kind of emo, making him get into fights and hate himself, even though he didn’t even do anything wrong. He decided he’d be strong like Sephiroth, then like, he’d be able to stop people from dying. Typical childish dreams.
You should be, bitch. You let him take the heat for your retardation. And don’t use your coma as an excuse! With any luck, Squall made good use of that coma as payment.
Lockheart remembers that, too. This proving that he couldn’t have been created five years ago. But there are still a few holes in the story left. We go back to fucking Nibelheim a-fucking-gain. My god, I want to burn it down, now.
A familiar scene which we all hate Sephiroth for. You never take a sword to such delicious funbags. I don’t care how insane you are.
Ah it’s this fashion disaster again. It’s finally revealed. He’s Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class and Mary Sue’s old boyfriend. The loose ends are being connected. It explains why Mary was infatuated with Squall so quickly.
If he’s smart, enjoying a nice soda pop somewhere away from all the crazy.
But we all know Squall and smart go together like chocolate cake and wasabi. The shots didn’t come out well, but after running in after Sephiroth, Zack gets flung back out like a ragdoll two seconds later. The shadowy figure takes his sword and dashes in. Gee I wonder who it could be? I’m guessing… Idiot Bowling Savant? He’s my hero so it certainly would be fitting for him to be the hero of the world, too.
For being basically a superhuman, Sephiroth just allows himself to be run in the back by this pansy grunt. Pay attention, fucker!
…BUT NOT JEFF BRIDGES BECAUSE HE’S THE DUDE.’
Haha, you look like such a douche.
Chekin’ that ass the whole time.
So, Squall really was at Nibelheim five years ago, just as one of those expendable grunts we’ve been slaughtering all game. I find something a bit curious here. In the earlier shot, as Squall is stabbing Sephiroth, Sephiroth asks who it is, but here above, he’s specifically speaking to Squall with that “It’s your first time back in your hometown” talk. So uh, he must know something about who it is. Maybe since Squall still had the mask on during the stabbing, but it still seems odd to me. Anyways, hey look at this, despite his memories being somewhat of a fabrication, a lot of his story was still true in a sense. Especially the part about keeping that goddamn promise Lockheart kept going on about. Maybe now that’ll be the end of hearing about it.
That’s Jenova’s head he’s carrying there. So, he was the one who decapitated her. If this doesn’t prove he’s a fucking nutcase, I don’t know what does. I’m not sure what he thought to accomplish by just… taking her head…
Wait wait… Shit, I always mess up under pressure!’
Wow, that looks… uncomfortable.
Squall is impaled and lifted into the air on a sword, only to push himself back down and grab the blade with his hands…
Then… picks Sephiroth with it…
And tosses him into the sea of Mako below… Alright, I’m not gonna joke here, that’s actually pretty badass of him (though you’d think Sephiroth could have just uh, let go of the sword). Completely implausible given their differences in strength, but I guess adrenaline does some crazy shit to you when you want to avenge your town, family and friends.
So, this is where Sephiroth dies. It could be considered his true death, because whatever he comes back as in the Northern Crater isn’t quite him any longer. Corrupted by Jenova. I think the explanation is he gets submerged into the Lifestream and carried to the Northern Crater with Jenova’s head, allowing her to “revive” him and why they’re sort of merged. I guess. Someone else might be able to explain it better.
Back in the marshmallow room…
The memories of Squall reform. Looks like we’ve seen the last of Fredrick Picklemier, and we’ve got our now ex-junkie, Jailbait loving, buddy back! Huzzah! The pair just casually float out of the Lifestream like it’s no big.
Then just what good are you?
Indeed. Mostly regarding underage, tomboy ninjas.
Woah hold on, are we already on step 9? Have you been using the Cliff Notes version of the 12 step process? Or is it only for alcoholics?
The truth comes out. Squall was never in SOLDIER. He hid it because he was ashamed. Manufactured a story from things he heard from Zack combined with his own experiences. He wasn’t created five years ago, but he was a part of the Sephiroth clone project, injected with Jenova cells. This is why he still has the glowing Mako eyes that members of SOLDIER have. His weakness couldn’t handle it well, however, and that’s why Sephiroth had partial control over him.
But he’s sober now. We’re back on track. He’s not giving up because he feels like it’s his fault, which it kinda is.
No. No no no. Stop.
SHUT UP, YOU WORTHLESS FLAMING QUADRUPED.
I HATE ALL OF YOU.
By the way, one of you fucked up (Probably Loaf. It would be like him to mess up his own saying). Nice work.
God, all we need is a freeze-frame cheer with bloom and brush strokes going on and we’ve fulfilled a whole set of cheesy clichés.
[img]http://www.digitalbricabrac.com/gifs/Suicide Smiley.gif[/img]
Next time on Final Fantasy VII: There’s no escape from Underwater Reno.
It's great that the game starts up music at a specific time, and moves the dialogue boxes along by itself.
That way Cloud's Theme (the world map theme) kicks in with those awesome drums at just the right time.
It gives me goosebumps everytime I see that part.
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
I bet Barret was the one who fucked up the whole 'train' thing... "Huh? What did I say? Oh, right! The train we on do-... wait, the hell are you guys saying sumthin differe-... Shi't, you busted up my rhythm!"
...At which point Adus runs him over with the train from Corel.
Yeah, your theory on Sephiroth is basically the one most people stick to. He died, fell into the lifestream, and the Jenova cells in him or in the head started this crazy plan. Could be just the head for all we know. He more or less killed the real Sephiroth, making him the new Big Boss.
It makes Squall a pretty likeable fellow in the end.
I also need to remember to turn Match Case on my replacement tool in Word, because everytime I change Cid to Banana, every instance of the word "decided" suddenly gets changed to "deBananaed" though it is a pretty awesome word.
And yeah, tossing Sephiroth into the Mako with his own sword was always awesome, and the music really works wonders. Wish that wasn't lost in the translation to screenshot but oh well. It's a bit saddening that this is all in the past and before Squall decides to dress up like a woman to avoid a little commotion... And yeah I haven't seen Last Order. The only FF7 thing I've seen outside the game is Advent Children. It might have been better if I had played/seen everything in order to perhaps clear up plot holes, but honestly I think leaving them in and realizing that for a long time there was no clarification is amusing on its own.
Though you have to admit for all the little things the game does a pretty decent job of tying everything together here. Clues that had been dropped since the very first hour of the game.
Last Order is easily the best thing to come out of the Compilation of FF7.
Despite Last Order being awesome, it's the only instance where Sephiroth isn't flung into the mako; he jumps in of his own free will. This got re-retconned in Crisis Core back to what we know, only with Genesis being retconned in when Zack and Sephiroth first investigate the reactor.
I liked Zack more as a character after playing it.
Its in the first 10 minutes of the game.
Approaching the first reactor, Cloud stand upright and you hear that humming noise, and then a narrator voice says, "Watch out, this isn't just a reactor"
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it trying to say its a path of things to come? Is it just lost in translation from the moon speak?
Pokemon Safari - Sneasel, Pawniard, ????
By the way- although it really IS an awesome scene, that sword-lifting completely broke immersion for me. The set-up, the music, all perfect... But this silly move... I mean, com'on, the sword moves like a fucking seasaw. The only explanation for why Cloud's little trick works is that he was pumped up with adrenaline like crazy, and Sephiroth was frozen with shock. So frozen, actually, that he holds on to the blade and musters up the strength to keep himself up.
Seriously- imagine that scene in more realistic cutscenes. It's downright impossible, and silly at the least...
I guess that makes me one of the unwashed videogame heavens, he.
And really, that scene follows the best guidelines of all; 'does it look cool?'
I always thought it was a warning about the guardian robot thing.
Good update.
That's basically the explanation, s'far as I can tell, since [strike]Cloud[/strike] Squall has his second "Shit is going down" moment way back in the second reactor they hit it right after the first. That they're all identical at that point, pretty much, is probably enough.
Dragged out from two pages ago, because filthy, dirty lies like this need to be called out.
This LP is the best thing ever. That is all.
Also, seconded on the part in the mansion. It really adds to the Cloud/ Zack stuff.