Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
Social Entropy++: AWESOME POST in "guys guys guys", by Darth Waiter
A few years back, I worked at an Italian four star that had a small pond right next to a balcony patio and the east wall of the entire restaurant overlooked this tiny aquatic reservoir. We had all kinds of wildlife in there; we had a crane that would swoop in and eat water moccasins, a kingfisher that dove in with the sun behind him like a Japanese Zero to scoop tiny fish, and then we had the family of ducks that lived in the flower box.
And then there was the turtle.
No shit, this thing had a neck as long as my arm and a shell as big around as my torso. It was the king of all fresh water turtles and he loved to eat ducklings and their parents with indiscriminate savagery.
One fine Easter, the place is packed and the ducklings were swimming along behind their mother with innocence and joyful glee when the one in last place suddenly disappeared, pulled under by Jaws himself. Children started screaming all along the windows and parents started an uproar of epic proportions.
"CAN'T YOU PEOPLE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT?!? IT'S TERRIFYING MY CHILD! HE'LL BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!"
"Ma'am, I spent four years in the Marines as well as my entire civilian life in Texas; I have seen wildlife do terrible things and not batted an eye. There is not enough money in this entire state to pay me to get into the water with that bloodthirsty force of Nature."
And then the turtle slaughters the mother duck in front of everyone; all that's left is blood and a beak.