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Social Entropy++: AWESOME POST in "guys guys guys", by Darth Waiter
Tox
I kill threadsLet Piggy Chimp decideRegistered User regular
I kill threadsLet Piggy Chimp decideRegistered User regular
Tox has reported a post.
Reason:
Post: guys guys guys
Posted by: Darth Waiter
Original Content:
Reason:
Forum: Social Entropy++Darth Waiter is afraid of a ninja turtle.
Post: guys guys guys
Posted by: Darth Waiter
Original Content:
A few years back, I worked at an Italian four star that had a small pond right next to a balcony patio and the east wall of the entire restaurant overlooked this tiny aquatic reservoir. We had all kinds of wildlife in there; we had a crane that would swoop in and eat water moccasins, a kingfisher that dove in with the sun behind him like a Japanese Zero to scoop tiny fish, and then we had the family of ducks that lived in the flower box.
And then there was the turtle.
No shit, this thing had a neck as long as my arm and a shell as big around as my torso. It was the king of all fresh water turtles and he loved to eat ducklings and their parents with indiscriminate savagery.
One fine Easter, the place is packed and the ducklings were swimming along behind their mother with innocence and joyful glee when the one in last place suddenly disappeared, pulled under by Jaws himself. Children started screaming all along the windows and parents started an uproar of epic proportions.
"CAN'T YOU PEOPLE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT?!? IT'S TERRIFYING MY CHILD! HE'LL BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!"
"Ma'am, I spent four years in the Marines as well as my entire civilian life in Texas; I have seen wildlife do terrible things and not batted an eye. There is not enough money in this entire state to pay me to get into the water with that bloodthirsty force of Nature."
And then the turtle slaughters the mother duck in front of everyone; all that's left is blood and a beak.
"Would you care for the bolgonese?"
Tox on
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I would dine the fuck out of this restaurant.
Also, what restaurant is this they're talking about?
The image of bloody carnage going on in the pond, feathers flying everywhere, everyone staring in horror, and the waiter just standin' there all stone faced
"Would you care for the bolognese"
Very nice, five star post
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | SCREENED | STEAM ID | BUY SOME STUFF!
I believe it, partly because I've seen a evil sumbitch turtle grab a bird out of the fucking air because it flew too low.
Never doubt the speed and ferocity of a hungry turtle.
I saw a video on YouTube about the Holocaust.
Then I read this book by Elie Wiesel.
I think he made it up after seeing that video.
"What do you recommend?"
"I hear the duck is excellent tonight."
Snapping Turtles, totally badass. Five stars.
But I'll 5-star this.
"There is not enough money in this entire state to pay me to get into the water with that bloodthirsty force of Nature" sold me on it.
Yeah, I took some time to look this up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
Jesus fucking christ. It has been known to eat alligators.
But seriously, snapping turtles. We trapped one with concrete blocks on all sides and one on top of its shell and it pushed them all off.
Nintendo Network ID: unclesporky
This is how I first read this, and I was rather surprised.
I think your insane key got stuck while you were typing awesome.