Hello everyone, I am in a dire economic situation. It all started a year and some odd months ago (fall of 2008) when I was beginning my first semester of college. Now, my family has never been too wealthy, so even going to college was very exciting for me. How did I make it, you ask? Well, I'm a little fuzzy on the specifics, but basically my grandfather had this life insurance policy hanging around since the early nineties and was looking to sell it. That being said, the money received from this life insurance policy would go to his three daughters: my mom and my two aunts. So we end up receiving a good amount of money to cover my first semester of college and to get us out of debt (at least that was the idea, at the time.) So...I end up going to college for a semester, hated my major, and wanted to change it next semester. However, come next semester (spring of 2009), I realize that all that money we got from the life insurance policy is, well, gone. Between "getting us out of debt", getting new floors, a new TV, xmas, etc etc, the money was all gone. So, freaking out about money as I usually do, I end up taking out a $15,000 student loan to cover for the next few semesters, plus an unnamed amount my dad said he wanted to use from it, too (more on that later). Funny thing about my dad is that he's kind of going through a huge midlife crisis. Ever since he was laid off a year or so ago, he's been completely and totally apathetic. He refuses to get a job, and relies on my mother's salary to get us from paycheck to paycheck. He also believes there are magical links on the internet that can lead his son to free, magical sources of money for school. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to death, but sometimes I just don't understand him. My dad has also been telling me since February of this year that he has some sort of "plan" that has to do with money. He's very secretive about it, and spends about 2-3 hrs on his computer every morning possibly working on this "project". Maybe it's from the crisis. I don't know. This past summer (after my second semester) my dad tells me that I need to get another student loan to not only cover for the next semester but to cover for the student loan I just took out to start payments on it. Now, let's think about how that totally doesn't work: you're basically paying off fake money with more fake money. No go. So I try explaining this to him, and he ends up freaking out and tells me that he'll just "do it himself" (he didn't). I come to find out that I have absolutely nothing left from my student loan. The other $11,000 went to CONTINUING to pay off debt that was supposed to already be paid off. So, naturally, I flip my shit and have this huge meltdown. My dad approaches me one day and tells me to just take a semester off to help rethink my life (because, on top of this, I have no idea what I want to study). So I do. And it's now November 7th during my semester of do nothingness. Problem with that is November is my sixth month out of school (because my last registered class day was last May). What does that mean? Loan repayments start. So, because my dad has not got another job yet, we're running off my mother's rather horrid Texas teacher salary, barely scraping by from paycheck to paycheck, and now there's a loan to be paid because I've been out of school for too long. Now I've been trying to land a job at a local best buy since the end of summer, and have been rather unsuccessful. So I've got no income to speak of for now. If I jump back into school next semester (which is what I've been planning), the repayments stop, and I'll have another sixth month grace period after I get out of school again. However, because my loan money is all gone, this means I have to go through the process of getting an entirely new loan again to cover for the following semesters in college. Luckily, because I'm a commuter, the tuition bill isn't as high as it could be, but I was still hoping to have plenty of money left over to last me at least another year or so. Between having all of my loan money sapped away for unknown reasons and my family still being in debt to this day, I typically revolve my life around escaping from it. I typically use and abuse all sorts of substances on the weekends, ranging from alcohol to various drugs, just to cope with this severely fucked up situation. It's probably not healthy. But whatever. So what do I do? Help appreciated.

Stop doing drugs and booze. Never mind your health, you can't afford it financially. Separate your finances from your parents. How the hell did your dad even get his hands on your student loan? Develop a sane plan to get yourself out of debt and advise your dad that he pull his shit together and does the same, reminding him that on top of everything else he owes you $11,000 + whatever interest you accrue on that loan.

Yea, the first thing I would do is try to get a new loan in your name that you dad CANNOT touch at all. Use this for school etc. Now how did your dad actually take $11,000 off of you? Did he have access to the account? It sounds like he is in some sort of trouble. The fact that the life insurance money was completely burned through so quickly as well as another $11,000 on top of it makes it even more suspicious. You may want to do some investigating. From what I've heard he may have a bag gambling addiction where he just keeps betting to try and win it all back. These people dont understand that they won't and they just keep trying. They need help. Another possibility is that he is addicted to some type of illegal drugs. They can really rack up the costs. A bad heroin addiction can cost up to $1,000 a day. I'm not saying that any of these are true but they could be possibilities. Hope everything works out for you.

Hopefully he's not involved in some Nigerion 911 scam... You should maybe press him for details.

What type of loans did you get? Actual student loans or that stuff they peddle to you on the TV? because some of them are easier to consolidate or work out an easier repayment plan. Proper student loans tend to have rather low interest rates, so there's at least that going for you. Returning to school just to get out of paying off debt is not a good idea because you'll likely incur more debt than before. You may need to get a job, if you haven't already gotten one. Does your mom know that your dad spent your student loan money? Since she's the one bringing in the money, if your dad is pissing it away on some get rich quick scheme she needs to know and you guys need to reign him in because that's the kind of stuff that sinks entire families. If nothing else get your finances separated from your parents. Help your mom if you want but be sure she knows what the deal is with your dad. 1. Contact your loan holders and let them know you're having difficulty making payments. (stuff about this varies from lender to lender and loan type to loan type) 2. Get your finances in order and away from your parents' influence (especially your dad). 3. Get a job if one hasn't already been gotten. 4. Go back to school ONLY if you know what it is you want to do and it will help lead to employment (sorry, no English or Theatre degrees). 5. Good Luck.

Hopefully he's not involved in some Nigerion 911 scam... You should maybe press him for details. Oh shi... My dad has also been telling me since February of this year that he has some sort of "plan" that has to do with money. He's very secretive about it, and spends about 2-3 hrs on his computer every morning possibly working on this "project". At first I thought maybe online gambling as well, but actually the ol' Nigerian scam sounds very, very plausible. Frankly, whatever his plan is, if he's been using your money, you should demand to know what the hell he's been doing with it. And if it's something epically stupid, slap him. Hard.

Its a bit sneaky/underhand but you could probably just log onto his machine and see what sites he's been visiting. If they're gambling sites, well you know the problem.

1: Are the loans in your name? If not, then I hate to be a dick but then it's your dad's problem and not yours. If they are in your name then he has essentially been stealing from you so there are legal remedies which might be your only option. 2: Why in the hell are you not working every moment you can to help pay for school? I hate hearing there's nothing because there's always something if you look hard enough. 3: Stop bitching about how bad it is and do something constructive. I had to pay for college through hard work and loans, it's hardly impossible to do. Going in benders every weekend is just stupid. You're pissing away money that could be used for far more necessary things.

Apart from the substance abuse and not knowing where the money is going...are you me? Seriously, right down to the commuting and father on the computer.

Have you filled out a FAFSA? My family was in similar dire straits due to the housing market collapse and I basically went to school for free. I mean, not entirely for free, but government grants and loans are a lot better than bank loans.

Do you even know what you want to do at university? I mean returning there just to offset some loan repayments when you don't have any idea what you want to study is a really bad idea. Could you go to a community college or something instead?

I suppose in theory he could focus solely on the core curriculum of his college/university of choice until he figures out what he wants to specialize in...but it still seems like a really bad idea. Community college would almost certainly be a better option in that case.

I never really understood how people "scraping paycheck to paycheck" get high/drunk so often. I don't think they're particularly cheap habits. Your dad is an idiot. Love him all you want, but he is going to tear your family in half and ruin everyone's life. Barring some kind of drastic life-changing event, he's not going to change, come to his senses, and get a job back. Instead, he's going to bankrupt your mother via gambling/scam/pyramid-scheme, and she's going to cry herself to sleep in a cardboard box because he made her sell the house. I don't think you can stop that. You can avoid sharing real-estate in this cardboard box though by distancing yourself from the fail-boat XY component of your family (father). Get your ass back in college, get yourself more loans and explain to your father that you will take a giant shit on his head while he's asleep if he ever again mentions using your money in any way whatsoever. Know what to major in college? Something useful. Don't go literature, history, or any of that other bullshit. I can do that kind of bullshit because I didn't take loans in college and now I can take out tons of graduate loans to go to graduate school to make one of the bullshit-majors semi-profitable. You can't. So take something you can actually do. A hard science if you have any brains whatsoever. Otherwise, business if you're sleazy, ahem, "charismatic". Or accounting if you're neither particularly smart nor charismatic. Cut that shit out of with drugs. You don't have the time nor money for it. With your economic situation, you better pull out of college with a 4.0. If you're not leaving with a 4.0 from a non-prestigious school, it's not because a lack of inborn intelligence, it's because you're lazy and want to follow in the footsteps of your father. Seriously, this is a fucked up life/family situation, but you need to take yourself out of this cycle-of-fail. Quit fucking up college. Quit letting your dad fuck you up.

Fill out the FAFSA.. As a commuter you should get enough $$$ to cover your tuition without having your parents take a loan out. As long as you are a full time student you will not have to repay that loan off. As for your studying dilemma, just take the liberal studies classes required for all majors and in that time you should be able to pick something. Don't let your dad touch any of your money; he has already shown that he is irresponsible with it.

So take something you can actually do. A hard science if you have any brains whatsoever. Otherwise, business if you're sleazy, ahem, "charismatic". Or accounting if you're neither particularly smart nor charismatic. I just wanted to point out the neither "smart nor charismatic" people do management or marketing. In 49 / 50 states you need a graduate degree to become a CPA. Without one you'll never make any career progress in accounting after the first few years. Keep that in mind.

my dad tells me that I need to get another student loan to not only cover for the next semester but to cover for the student loan I just took out to start payments on it. Now, let's think about how that totally doesn't work: you're basically paying off fake money with more fake money. Please don't take out another loan/credit card, you'll only dig yourself deeper in debt. I'd suggest getting a job and fewer college credits and creating a budget with which to manage your life. Also, using drugs to escape your problems is no different from paying a loan with another loan.

With your economic situation, you better pull out of college with a 4.0. If you're not leaving with a 4.0 from a non-prestigious school, it's not because a lack of inborn intelligence, it's because you're lazy and want to follow in the footsteps of your father.. A bit off topic but what is up with this? Is it easy to get high marks at university over there? Here we have a 7 point system with 1 - 3 being a failure and 4 - 7 being a pass. If you get a 6/7 youre going pretty damn good but there is nothing wring with getting a 4/5. Whenever I here about people at uni over there, its like if they dont ahve a gpa of 3.5+ they are a failure and will never get a job. My brother recently started going t a college over there somewhere and he wasn't the smartest kid or the most enthusiastic towards schoolwork but he has a 3.7. I don't know, maybe they are just easy markers over there.

Well, it depends on the school. This is the first time I've personally heard anyone claim anything less than 3.5/3.7/4.0 is "worthless" however. I've always been told 3.0+ is perfectly fine (although obviously a higher GPA is better). Besides, it's been my experience that not a single employer cared about GPA at all. But that's just my experience, so take it as the anecdote that it is.

So let me get this straight. You had a windfall (life insurance policy) in the family. This windfall allowed you to go to a pricey(?) college. But only for one semester because you hadn't done any planning on how to afford the next seven semesters. That was really, really dumb. I don't want to rake you over the coals too much because what's done is done and I'm sure you're stressed out enough, but . . . really . . . try to plan better in the future. Would you take an expensive apartment if you could afford one month's rent but not the rest of the year? Okay, moving on. Whatever you do, do NOT give your father money (or let him have access to your money.) Do not buy alcohol/drugs/paint to huff. You're desperate to find a job and trying to pay off student loans? Yeah, you can't afford that stuff. Especially avoid any drug that could be detected in a drug test since some employers will require said tests before hiring you. Keep pounding the pavement looking for a job, any job. Sell plasma. If you can't find anything else to do, help your mom out around the house. She's probably super stressed too. Also, look around for volunteer opportunities. It will look good on resumes/college apps (proves you aren't just sitting on your ass) and you can do some networking. Figure out what you want to major in. I did the whole "aimless wandering from major to major" thing too. It was a waste of time and money. If you do go back to school, advice in three parts: 1. Fill out the FAFSA, fill out the FAFSA, fill out the FAFSA. It's an annual form, so you'll need to fill out one every year. Fill it out ASAP and be ready to fill it out again when the date of the NEXT FAFSA rolls around (which is around January 1st, I believe) and submit it the first moment you can. The reason for this? A lot of financial aid is doled out on a first-come, first serve basis. I sent in my FAFSA in early January this year and got thousands more than I got the previous years when I lazily submitted it in late spring. (My financial situation has not changed.) You will need your parents' tax info, make sure they know this and complete their next set of taxes AS SOON AS THEY CAN BE SENT IN. You do not want them waiting till April to submit them. 2. Go to a community college if there is one near you. Get the "core courses" out of the way, then transfer to a four-year college. 3. Whether you go to a community college or a four-year, check what scholarships they have and apply for anything you might remotely qualify for. (Yes, some community colleges give scholarships.) Be sure to include, on the app, that you are a first generation college student.

1. If the loans you took out are of the Stafford (or other federally recognized variety) you are entitled to an economic hardship deferral or forbearance. Which means you will not need to make payments (or possibly will be able to make tiny token payments), and your interest may or may not be subsidized in the meantime. If they are of the private variety (completely outside the "real" student aid system) then you need to call your lenders and ask about the same...but they may tell you to go fuck yourself. I'm guessing since you mention a grace period they are of the federal variety though, which is good. 2. You will not get another grace period. I know this because apparently I used up the grace period on some of my loans while on train-up for deployment with the reserves to Iraq, which was spiffy (and which the law has since changed, but not for me). I got out of school, and it was straight to repayment on those. Though again, you can generally get a deferral or forbearance if necessary. I think you're entitled to up to like three years of unemployment deferral, for instance. 3. Fill out a FAFSA. Then ask your school if they have any additional forms you can use if your economic circumstances have changed, assuming you might still be on some sort of lag time since your father's downfall (since FAFSAs go off prior year taxes). Either way, you need to hit up the federal system for as much money as you can, and get back in school. You should pretty easily be able to get enough to pay for all your expenses as a commuter. 4. Separate your finances, NOW. The fact that you dad had any access to this money is a big no-no. You're an adult now, you need to take care of your own finances, because from now on this stuff "matters." There may not be any real "permanent record" in high school, regardless of how much they threaten you with it, but there is one in real life...your credit report. It sounds like your dad is doing his damndest to ruin yours right out of the gate. Cut that shit off now. Well, it depends on the school. This is the first time I've personally heard anyone claim anything less than 3.5/3.7/4.0 is "worthless" however. I've always been told 3.0+ is perfectly fine (although obviously a higher GPA is better). Besides, it's been my experience that not a single employer cared about GPA at all. But that's just my experience, so take it as the anecdote that it is. I had a job offer that was contingent on my graduating with a 3.0+. Or maybe that was just that they pay they offered me was contingent on a 3.0+. But yeah, while you should try to do your best GPA really is not that important as long as you're over a certain threshold. At least not for jobs (grad school is another story). EDIT: And seriously, I know he's your dad and all but you might consider whether you have any legal recourse to recover the gigantic amount of your money that he squandered. Dude needs to wake the fuck up and realize he's still in the "real world," and that he is in fact making your chances of making it in the real world harder.

Well, it depends on the school. This is the first time I've personally heard anyone claim anything less than 3.5/3.7/4.0 is "worthless" however. I've always been told 3.0+ is perfectly fine (although obviously a higher GPA is better). Besides, it's been my experience that not a single employer cared about GPA at all. But that's just my experience, so take it as the anecdote that it is. Yeah. 3.0 is fine. Fuck, Im doing fine for myself and I graduated with a 2.2 in Political Science. Of course, once I got out of school I worked my ass off and put 3 companies between myself and my GPA.

1. If the loans you took out are of the Stafford (or other federally recognized variety) you are entitled to an economic hardship deferral or forbearance. Which means you will not need to make payments (or possibly will be able to make tiny token payments), and your interest may or may not be subsidized in the meantime. If they are of the private variety (completely outside the "real" student aid system) then you need to call your lenders and ask about the same...but they may tell you to go fuck yourself. I'm guessing since you mention a grace period they are of the federal variety though, which is good. Also, if you've got a federal student loan, even if you can't get more of a grace period you can choose what your repayment method is--if times are hard, which it sounds like they are, you can set your payment plan to be a percentage of your income until you can stabilize. So if you're only able to find a job at McDonald's, they're willing to drop the payments to X% of your income because they'd rather that you pay it back eventually than that you go bankrupt.

1. If the loans you took out are of the Stafford (or other federally recognized variety) you are entitled to an economic hardship deferral or forbearance. Which means you will not need to make payments (or possibly will be able to make tiny token payments), and your interest may or may not be subsidized in the meantime. If they are of the private variety (completely outside the "real" student aid system) then you need to call your lenders and ask about the same...but they may tell you to go fuck yourself. I'm guessing since you mention a grace period they are of the federal variety though, which is good. Also, if you've got a federal student loan, even if you can't get more of a grace period you can choose what your repayment method is--if times are hard, which it sounds like they are, you can set your payment plan to be a percentage of your income until you can stabilize. So if you're only able to find a job at McDonald's, they're willing to drop the payments to X% of your income because they'd rather that you pay it back eventually than that you go bankrupt. Was just about to mention this, though the way the OP worded the bit about his loans, I have a feeling they're private loans. Just got out of college, last year I didn't make that much (FAFSA asks for last years W-2 info) and I did the percentage income plan, since I had moved to a new city, and had gotten a job that although paid me decently, I wasn't sure if I would be able to make my loan payments consistently. My payments are now $0 for a month, which is way less than I was expecting. I'm naturally making payments anyways, but it's nice to know that if something happens in a month I don't have to stress out about making my previous higher payment.

I second the ethicly stick situation of checking out the dad's computer to see what he's doing with your money. Sounds really, really bad. Internet scams will hoover up your cash like nothing else, and it sounds like he's caught one bad (not working, confident in a free ride, etc).