I KNEW IT! Also, rewatching Reno 911: The Movie while I wait for the narration. It hurts so good.

So about that not going to do a cliche reveal today...I lied! Morsmorde! I am...Draco Malfoy, pure of blood, noble of family, chosen of the House of Slytherin, and faithful Death Eater to our Dark Lord! Though I die tonight through the foolishness of these blood-traitors and mudbloods, I may yet fulfill a final service to his Dark Majesty. To any still loyal to His Lordship, please contact me so that our forces may be joined. We have about half an hour or so before the narrative is posted so timing is critical. PM me as quickly as you can, you will need to be verified. Hail to The Dark Lord!

Way to suck, Bogey!

Hey, you bet! Man, I bet neville's going to kill me off by having me rectally impaled by my own broomstick...

Man, this is so inconsistent with the books! Hermione's dead, Moody is killing students left and right, and now Draco Malfoy has balls.

oh man draco is going to get the shit beat out of him. finally, what I wanted to see since the very beginning of the series.

Man, this is so inconsistent with the books! Hermione's dead, Moody is killing students left and right, and now Draco Malfoy has balls.

What the hell? I come back from dinner and I see the goddamn dark mark? Now I wish I had voted for Bogey.

Day 4: Harry and Ron stood side by side in their formal dress robes. Professor McGonagall was stumbling through the last rites for Hermione and the other students who had recently been lost, trying as best she could to hold back her tears. Harry was not crying, but his eyes blazed with anger. He would have revenge for this. Or he really wanted some chocolate frogs RIGHT THEN. It is hard to tell… but probably the former. Ron wasn’t even trying to hold back the tears and was openly bawling. The service was moving, but felt unfulfilling. Hermione’s death had come at such a price… what did they have to show for it? So much death lately, yet Voldemort and his Death Eaters seemed to be growing stronger by the night. A few students got up to say a few words to remember those who had left. Before Harry or Ron could get up, Draco Malfoy jumped up and ran ahead of the others to the podium. “I would like to say a few words!” he said. Everyone looked uneasy. Professor McGonagall and Mad Eye Moody exchanged a glance, while Professor Snape seemed to simply be trying to keep himself awake. “What can you say about Hermione Granger,” Draco began. “I mean, besides the fact she was a filthy mudblood…” Harry and Ron leapt to their feet “WHAT?!” “Oh stow it, Potter. You too, you pathetic Weasley. I’m glad she and the rest of the mudbloods are gone. And I’m gladder still that I helped kill them.” With that, he leapt from the podium shouting “Avada Kedavra” at Moody, clearly intending to continue his reign of death. His first cast bounced harmlessly off Moody, thanks to Harry’s ready Protego. Unfortunately for Draco, another student hit him first. Well, more specifically, about 40 students. Previously the effects of more than a few spells at once were not known. Two or three Stupefy spells have been documented to physically knock a wizard back several feet. The same goes for Expelliarmus. The tomes in history would reflect that being hit by about 40 mixed Stupefy, Expelliarmus, and various other spells has an effect much like a Muggle blender does on some chips of ice. There was a great boom and then a red, Malfoy scented mist that floated about the area. At this point, so many spells started flying, it is hard to say exactly who started what. I haven’t seen this many hands on wood since… nevermind, this is not the place for such tales. In any case, all bets for safety were off. Moody let fly a vicious Avada Kedavra, hitting Wormtail – who had just arrived with his entourage of a dementor and Lord Voldemort himself – in the chest. Wormtail had already been confounded by Ron, but in death, the spell did little more than make the body twitch a little. The sole dementor managed to sneak up on ramenxnoodles and sucked the warmth, and the life, right out of him. Hagrid had brought Buckbeak along with him, having seen fit to bring some reinforcements just in case. Buckbeak, frightened or angered at the magic flying everywhere, managed to pull free of Hagrid and took a little bite out of Speedyswaf, before Hagrid managed to get him under control. By “little bite,” of course I mean, he ate him. Voldemort clearly intended revenge for this. He fired green bolts of magical doom from his wand faster than you could blink. In fact, Green and Fizban both were so surprised by it, they had time to look at each other and shrug before both falling to the ground, dead. To celebrate, he used the Imperius Curse on World as Myth and had her dance around like a puppet. Meanwhile, the Death Eaters had managed to kill grundlterror and the wook, before running away, leaving Draco’s mist behind. As Lord Voldemort followed behind the Death Eaters, it was clear the slaughter tonight was only the beginning... Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler Bogey – Draco Malfoy (Death Eater): killed by the Mob Squashua – Wormtail: killed by Mad Eye Moody Ramenxnoodles – Hufflepuff student: killed by the Dementors Green – Slytherin student: killed by Voldemort Fizban – Ravenclaw student/hussy: killed by Voldemort Grundlterror – Slytherin student: killed by Death Eaters The wook – Ravenclaw student: killed by Death Eaters Speedyswaf – Ravenclaw student: killed by Hagrid The Dark Lord Voldemort’s powers have fully returned and he has been reunited with his followers. The seer has become focused.

I made a mistake forgetting one of Wormtail's abilities. The Dark Side will be compensated for this; my apologies.

<_<

There can't be that many left, right?

well that bites

Nooooooooo So much needless death

dear harry potterians I am drunk (again) what up

So Grundle is a fibbing sack of crap

fizban got owned. Bogey betrayal :|

Noooo But I was right about Squashua!

so grundlterror was lying his ass off about being special? what a jerk

OoooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo Damn you muggle-loving blood-traitors! The Dark Lord will avenge me. OoooooooOOOOOOOooooooooo PS. Thanks, neville, this was excellent!

also: why the FUCK would he do that? man I hope we get a post-game

So Grundle is a fibbing sack of crap Come to think of it, it doesn't suprise me that much. He hadn't been giving very useful seer results. Oh well, still managed to waste what, 5 kills? before he died.

Hmm, so if there is a draco does that mean crabbe and goyle are the other death eaters? Well that is two more bad guys down which is good. We are losing students left and right though.

Goddammit. We need to find V-man, pronto.

also: why the FUCK would he do that? man I hope we get a post-game Probably to stay alive?