A few weeks ago, my cohort Adam "Murder O'clock" Bloom told me about his idea to create a Let's Play video for a game that is truly a timeless classic: System Shock. I had heard of the successful and popular Bioshock, but hadn't until that point put much thought into its pixelated predecessors. Not to imply that BioShock is without pixels, however, I am merely observing their then-voluptuous sizes. I tried to procrastinate and postpone this project as long as possible, as if it were originally conceived by frat boys planning ill-fated t-shirt slogans and flavors for piss-cheap beers. The more Adam nagged me the more I did things such as ignoring phone calls, surfing the Internets in offline mode, and fleeing the country. My attempts to evade him ultimately failed when I discovered he had moved into my house. When Episode 01 was recorded, I was but a mewing babe, as some would say. Completely alien and estranged in my WASD-less environment. Adam had already completed the first level for "testing purposes" only, but we all know he has difficulty dealing with anticipation. After performing the usual intense physical regimen (if you could see me typing you'd notice my rippling, awe-inspiring muscles), I sat down in my executive chair, the daunting tasks at hand fully rehearsed and premeditated. Little did I know, System Shock was not merely one of those old games where it's like, "The wind is blowing [e]ast. There is a cabin to your [n]orth." The game had tricked me into believing the name entry screen was the pinnacle of graphics for the game's time (est. 1974, I believe). I had been lulled into a false sense of security by a malevolent artificial intelligence. The game itself was already trying to kill me. So I hesitantly drudged through a nightmarish world filled with dart-resistant killer robots and low-budget voice acting, clutching my phallic lead pipe for comfort, oblivious to the pixelated perils ahead. Episode List | Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler Episode 01: The First Level Episode 02: Dopey Guy & Puzzles Episode 03: Wall-hacking Episode 04: Cyber Space Area Episode 05: Shimmy Up Episodes can also be painfully experienced in playlist format on the Let's Play System Shock project page on our website, the StassiNet. We will continue episodic updates at least once every week. In the meantime please be sure to stay physically fit and eat a balanced and nutritious diet.

Right, well. What my partner told you in 336 words, I can tell you in four: HE LOVES THE COCK. I jest. But after reading his post you were probably thinking, "What the hell is this guy on about?" Or you were thinking about naked ladies. I can't blame you for that. Carry on. I am Adam Bloom, and I will be the (better) half that guides you through this game. Before that, let's see if I can't answer some questions. What the hell is System Shock? System Shock is a first-person shooter released in 1994, published by Origin Systems. It was produced by Warren Spector (Ultima, Ultima Underworld, Deus Ex, Thief) and a team at Looking Glass Studios. System Shock is a game that emphasizes exploration and smart play over fast reflexes. It also had a good story, immersive environments (despite the pixelated 2D graphics), and a truly creepy villain. For all or some of the above, it was praised by critics, and never sold well. But it went on to spawn a sequel, System Shock 2 (which also never sold well) and a spiritual sequel, Bioshock (which you may have heard of). What's the story of System Shock? Right. Here's the back-story pulled directly from the manual. (Warning: tl;dr) Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler Letter to Rebecca Lansing, TriOptimum Anti-Terrorism Consultant From James Chaskes, Director of Internal Security, TriOptimum Corporation Date: 4.nov.2072 Ms. Lansing: Your plan sounds like the best we can hope for. However, I am uncomfortable with the odds. “Employee 2-4601” must reach the command centre bridge (eight floors above the Healing Suite) and move past armies of security robots and mutants to get to the master cyberspace terminal. Furthermore, SHODAN (the Sentient Hyper-Optimised Data Access Network) is able to restrict security access to elevators, doors and controls. Some of these locks can be broken in cyberspace or by rewiring lock mechanisms. There might even be some benefit to destroying computer nodes and security cameras. However, this employee may simply not have enough time. In the worst-case scenario, we estimate that SHODAN will capture the patient in little more than 7 hours. SHODAN is moving swiftly on the offensive. We are dealing with an intelligence stripped of ethical limitations, which has the potential to invoke massive destruction. In a transmission received today, SHODAN promised to “raze the cities of Earth and reform life in my image.” If we fail to check the progress of this malignancy, there’s liable to be much more at stake than a public relations embarrassment for our company. We may, quite possibly, be placing the fate of our civilisation in the hands of a person whose name we don’t even know. James Chaskes Letter to Rebecca Lansing, TriOptimum Anti-Terrorism Consultant From James Chaskes, Director of Internal Security, TriOptimum Corporation Date: 5.nov.2072 Ms. Lansing: The Citadel station incident is potentially a devastating embarrassment to our company, but with your record in quelling terrorist problems in the past, the Board believes you are eminently capable of bringing a tidy end to this situation. I have placed my staff entirely at your disposal to provide you with all the materials necessary for your work. We are grateful for your expert assistance and we trust that this can be resolved as quietly and swiftly as possible. Since our last communication, I have collected all available information in a report for you, which includes the following: 3.0 Incident Report 3.1 Chronology of Events 3.2 Survivors 3.3 E-mail memo from Tina Lewis (TriOptimum Cyberspace Operations) I pray that you find the attached report useful. Best of luck, Rebecca. James Chaskes Encl: Incident Report 3.0 INCIDENT REPORT Date: 2.nov.2072 SECURITY REPORT: James Chaskes, Director of Internal Security, TriOptimum Corporation **THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS CONFIDENTIAL. DO NOT RELEASE TO UNAUTHORISED PARTIES WITHOUT PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT.** [size=3]3.1 CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS 2.jan.2071. SHODAN, designed as a fully self-sufficient artificial intelligence, is installed to regulate Citadel station security and operations. 9.sep.2072. Reports of aberrant behaviour with the computer network onboard Citadel station accumulate. The computer system administrator files a request to replace the SHODAN security system. 10.sep.2072. The computer system administrator is transferred off-station and the replacement order is rescinded. 26.sep.2072. An experiment in the biolabs involving a viral mutation agent displays unfortunate side effects. Flawed control software appears to be at fault. The science computer system is scheduled to go down for inspection. 27.sep.2072. Researchers, complaining of a strange illness, are found to be contaminated with the experimental virus mutagen. 30.sep.2072. Maintenance is flooded with repair orders for defective robots and systems station-wide. Technicians cannot explain the speed loss in computer systems. 2.oct.2072. Security detains crewmembers as the number of violent incidents aboard the station begins to rise. Psychological evaluations report mental derangement in the mutagen-contaminated researchers. 6.oct.2072. Other crew members complain of an inexplicable illness. The mutagen-contaminated researchers are listed in critical condition. Medical imposes quarantine measures. 7.oct.2072. Mutagen-contaminated experimenters are missing. Five medical staff are found mutilated. Security reports that the armoury has been ransacked. 9.oct.2072. A riot erupts in Research. Some members of the crew barricade themselves in a laboratory. TriOptimum sends a military transport. Reports are hushed to prevent public embarrassment. 10.oct.2072. The transport is shot and destroyed by station defenses due to a bizarre software malfunction. No shuttles are allowed to enter or leave the flight deck pending software diagnostics and hardware inspections. 13.oct.2072. SHODAN announces its intention to control all life aboard the station. Communications from Citadel are cut off. 1.nov.2072. A brief transmission is received from survivors aboard the station, describing a massacre by SHODAN-controlled robot forces, and warning of danger to Earth populations. 3.2 SURVIVORS The sole transmission that we received from survivors on 1.nov reports that SHODAN is using the station’s security and defence systems for human eradication. It is doubtful that whoever sent the transmission is still alive. We know that security robots are sweeping the corridors to exterminate any remaining crew. However, there is one crew member they won’t find. I found the following medical report on a surviving patient now in healing-suspension in the medical department. This “Employee 2-4601” received a surgical implant several months ago and is scheduled to be revived in just a few days. I can find no other information on this employee, except that the operation was authorised by Vice President Edward Diego. (Diego was implicated in a computer security cover-up a month ago but no arrest was made due to a lack of hard evidence.) Our mystery patient may have been working undercover for Diego without authorisation. We believe that SHODAN has no knowledge of the patient’s revival and is not likely to perceive it as a threat. This person may be our key to defeating SHODAN. What makes Employee 2-4601 so special? In the operation, a neural-enhancement device was implanted, giving our friend many advantages in exploring the station and discovering what happened there. Getting in contact with 2-4601 through the communications jamming will be a challenge, but a limited one-way correspondence may still be feasible. I’ll get our team working on it right away. Medical Record XS-567 Surgery Report Form [i]“Fixing you better than you were before.” Surgery performed on: Unidentified TriOptimum employee (#2-4601) Date of operation: 6.May.2072 Procedure: Neural implant, computer network interface. Will allow patient to plug into cyberspace and receive data from cybernetic devices and hardware attachments. Results: Successful installation, patient placed in healing coma after neural grafting. Scheduled to be awakened in 6 months (16.nov.2072). Current location: Hospital level, floor 1, quadrant gamma, healing pod two. Authorised by: Edward Diego, VP Marketing 3.3 E-MAIL MEMO Memo to Rebecca Lansing From Tina Lewis, TriOptimum Cyberspace Operations Ms. Lansing: We can manage a very quick connection with Citadel station’s cyberspace, perhaps long enough to plant several files or programs. Beyond that, we risk SHODAN detecting our presence and jamming communication. We are preparing a window for you to install about a dozen messages which will, I hope, prepare our “sleeping friend” against SHODAN. Frankly, it makes me nervous that you are putting so much faith in this unregistered employee, who was probably in on the scandal with Diego. Still, I can’t suggest anything better. Let us wish our sleeping friend the best of luck, and hope that the neural implant is as impressive as you make it sound. Jesus, I don't want read all that Basically, you're a hacker hired by the VP of the president that owns the station. He gave you an expensive neural implant so you could break into and take over SHODAN, the station's AI. But after you were put into a coma after the surgery, shit hit the fan. People started mutating, getting killed, and finally SHODAN took over the whole station and announced her intention to blow up earth. You wake up as the only surviving human on the station, and the only chance in the universe to save the human race. All that stands in your way is an army of mutants, cyborgs, security bots, and an insane genius AI. So what the hell is this project? Me and Stassi will be playing through System Shock as a team. At every recording one of us will be playing and the other will be watching. We'll both be commenting as we go. We'll be alternating who plays each session, but since the episodes will be a consistent 8-10 minutes and the sessions will be between 20 and 50, it could be either of us at any time. In the first few episodes it should be obvious (I'm the one that knows what I'm doing, he's the one that's playing), but as it goes along it may be less obvious. Guess who's playing! Make a game out of it! As mentioned, each episode will be approximately 10 minutes long, and will be assembled from footage and an editing session. We'll be adding cool shit while editing, and also removing boring stuff. We'll also be cutting out some stuff, but the videos will still represent an almost start-to-finish play through, with only saving and us running around like idiots trying to figure out what to do missing. Is this going to be funny? Hopefully. There will be three possible ways it could be funny: 1. Stupid shit we say. 2. Stupid shit we do. 3. Stupid shit we add. Even if all those fail, you'll still be watching a nicely-cut play through of a seminal game that you'd probably never play, so where can you go wrong? Are you going to be mocking the game as you play it? In a word, no. Even if we occasionally make a comment about the low resolution or voice acting, we are quite impressed by what we've played so far. This is not Let's Make Fun Of System Shock. We will, however, be mocking each other. How often will videos be released? The advantage of releasing in 10-minute segments is that we can plan to have a regular schedule. However, the schedule itself may vary. Initially it will be slow -- the second episode will be released a week from now, but it should soon move up to twice or three times a week. I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter You're going to get enough stupid memes from the videos. Be careful that you don't overdose.

The OP really makes it sound like you're making fun of one of the best games of all time. You weren't near around when this came out, were you? Edit: Are all Let's Play! videos this obnoxious? If I wanted to hear a couple teenagers giggling, snorting, and swearing I'd go hang out in the mall. Edit 2: What's up with adding the awful music when you're fighting things?

The OP really makes it sound like you're making fun of one of the best games of all time. You weren't near around when this came out, were you? Edit: Are all Let's Play! videos this obnoxious? If I wanted to hear a couple teenagers giggling, snorting, and swearing I'd go hang out in the mall. Edit 2: What's up with adding the awful music when you're fighting things? Sorry that you're unimpressed, but thank you for reminding me to add a comment to my post stating that we have no intention of mocking this game. Even with the little we've played so far we're quite impressed. Also, neither of us are teenagers.

Also, neither of us are teenagers. However, only one of us has reached puberty. You can tell which if you judge by his feeble size.

The OP really makes it sound like you're making fun of one of the best games of all time. You weren't near around when this came out, were you? Edit: Are all Let's Play! videos this obnoxious? If I wanted to hear a couple teenagers giggling, snorting, and swearing I'd go hang out in the mall. Edit 2: What's up with adding the awful music when you're fighting things? You're cool.

I think this is all right. Beats reading through pages and pages of screenshots.

The OP really makes it sound like you're making fun of one of the best games of all time. You weren't near around when this came out, were you? Edit: Are all Let's Play! videos this obnoxious? If I wanted to hear a couple teenagers giggling, snorting, and swearing I'd go hang out in the mall. Edit 2: What's up with adding the awful music when you're fighting things? You must have so many girlfriends.

Great video. I love it. I want moar.

Looking forward to the rest- I got SS1 to run on my PC, but never got the hang of the controls.

Aaahahaha! Fantastic. Please sirs, may I have some more?

The OP really makes it sound like you're making fun of one of the best games of all time. You weren't near around when this came out, were you? Edit: Are all Let's Play! videos this obnoxious? If I wanted to hear a couple teenagers giggling, snorting, and swearing I'd go hang out in the mall. Edit 2: What's up with adding the awful music when you're fighting things? You must have so many girlfriends. Well, I am a bartender... But seriously, they're valid points. The Mortal Kombat theme every time a fight happens? Is it 1995?

1994?

Cool. This game seems like it was ahead of it's time. I'm looking forward to the rest.

You know, I tried to play SS2. First of all, the game scared me shitless, seriously I practically shat myself. But 2nd, I think the gameplay felt very archaic. Whats this game like?

You know, I tried to play SS2. First of all, the game scared me shitless, seriously I practically shat myself. But 2nd, I think the gameplay felt very archaic. Whats this game like? It's like system shock 2, except with the most poorly designed UI I've ever seen and pre-WASD controls. There's an absolute gem of a game under it, but it's very hard to get into.

You know, I tried to play SS2. First of all, the game scared me shitless, seriously I practically shat myself. But 2nd, I think the gameplay felt very archaic. Whats this game like? It's going to feel even more archaic. They're both amazing games though and you're missing out by passing on them.

Well, I am a bartender... But seriously, they're valid points. The Mortal Kombat theme every time a fight happens? Is it 1995? The MK theme was a one-time thing. As my dad always says: just a joke, not very funny.

This seems a bit over-produced for me. I've never played System Shock 1 before, and I thought this would be a more basic run-through of the game. I don't mind goofy commentary at all, but I think that the random pictures, video editing effects, and music are a bit much. It feels like you're trying to hard to make it funny, and I don't think that fits too well with this game. Other than that stuff, I still enjoyed watching the first video, and I'll probably watch the second one.

Well, I am a bartender... But seriously, they're valid points. The Mortal Kombat theme every time a fight happens? Is it 1995? The MK theme was a one-time thing. As my dad always says: just a joke, not very funny. I noticed it twice before I shut the video off. Couldn't make it any farther than that.

This looks interesting. I look forward to watching this as time goes on

This would be a lot more interesting if it was just a straight up LP and not an attempt to be funny with pictures and goofy sounds.

Personally I say go with the editing for title screens and such because that was neat but the pictures were very jarring. It made it feel like a game review on youtube where the person has no gameplay footage so they just talk over pictures. You don't need that so it's just more work on your end. Definitely do the zoom-in on the text when it's important. That stuff is impossible to read on youtube and that was definitely needed. You should really use 2 video hosts though. It's not any kind of a problem to just let it upload to Viddler or Vimeo while you go out to eat lunch or something and it's always a good idea to have back-ups. Vimeo and Viddler also let people download the file as well if they want them. Let us also not forget that Youtube also has a 10:59 time limit. In the end I thought it was okay but I can't keep watching with those pictures that just pop-up.

This would be a lot more interesting if it was just a straight up LP and not an attempt to be funny with pictures and goofy sounds. that would be boring

I thought it was funny, except for the Mortal Kombat music 3 times.